The Spirit of the Ninja
by DarkLightCaster
Summary: Some of the Shinigami's essence was sealed inside Naruto when the kyuubi was being sealed, giving him the ability to see spirits that exist around him. He then ended up working for the death god himself. Now this agent of death have to deal with all kind of insanities that is thrown at him while he trying to stay somewhat sane.
1. Chapter 1 What Every You Do Don

Path of a Ninja Arc:

Chapter 1~What Ever You Do Don't Head Toward the Light, I Don't Need To Deal with the Paperwork That Come With It~

Disclaimer: A disclaimer a day keeps the soulless lawyer away, so I do not own Naruto

"normal Speech"

'thoughts'

**Demon and other uber being**

_Konoha _

Blood and death was in the air of Konoha as the Kyuubi no Kitsune, best known as the most powerful biju in existence and least known as the greatest demon prankster, continued with its path of destruction. After years of being sealed within its current host it was finally set free by a masked ninja with a strange, swirling pinwheel eyes. Suddenly Minato Namikaze, aka the Fourth Hokage, appeared on top of his toad summon, Gamabunta, and teleported the Kyuubi away from the village.

Minato approached his wife Kushina Uzumaki as she called out "Chakurachen Shoheki (Chakra Chains Barrier)," to restrain the Kyuubi.

"Minato I'm going to reseal the Kyuubi in me. Whatever happens, please take care of Naruto for me," a dying Kushina said. The forced extraction of the kyuubi had nearly killed her on the spot. It was only her willpower that was keeping her going right now.

"No!" Minato argued. "In your condition right now the Kyuubi will only break free again, the only choice we have is for me to use Shiki Fujin (Demon Consuming Seal) to seal the Yin half of the Kyuubi into me and Hakka no Fuin Shiki (Eight Trigrams Sealing Style) to seal the Yang half along with some of our chakras into Naruto to help him and act as fail safe for the seal."

"But if you do that then you will die and Naruto would ended up alone and hated as a jinchuriki," his wife said.

"Don't worry. We made Jiraiya his godfather and I'm sure he will take care of Naruto" Minato assured her.

_Somewhere near a bathhouse_

A white haired Toad Sage sneezed.

"I feel as if I'm about to disappoint my student by forsaking the responsible that he give me, oh well back to my _research_ hehe," Jiraiya said as he went back to peeping.

_Back to Minato and Kushina_

"Besides, I will make it my last request that Naruto will be viewed as a hero for imprisoning the Kyuubi. I'm positive that the village will honor my last request, the request of their beloved and awesome Hokage," Minato said with a grin.

_Back at Konohagakure _

The minority of ninjas, the majority of civilians and the league of unholy miserable old people known as Homura, Koharu, and Danzo sneezed.

_Back to Minato and other_

"Are you sure about that?" Kushina asked skeptically.

"Yes and there is no way that I could ever be wrong about this," he answered back.

"You just had to go and jinx it didn't you? I'm going to beat you to a bloody pulp if anything happens to Naruto you know," Kushina deadpanned.

"Okay let's get this started," Minato said as he ignored his wife's threats and began to perform the Shiki Fujin (Demon Consuming Seal) and summoned the Shinigami.

'**Finally, sometime away from the horror know as paperwork. Anyways I should probably get to my job of taking souls now,'** the Shinigami thought as he began to pulled out Kyuubi's Yin chakra out of him and seal it into Minato.

While this was happening, Minato and Kushina were saying their goodbyes to their son. Then, Minato sealed the rest of the fox's chakra along with part of his and his wife's chakra into their son.

"**Hmm, your parents placed a great deal of burden on you, while at the same time they placed a lot of faith in you, little one. It seems that you will do many great things in this world,"** the Shinigami said while looking at Naruto. **"As for these two souls, once they are done with what they have to do I shall collect their souls,"** he said looking toward Minato and Kushina, **"anything that will give me less paperwork to deal with now is good for me."** As the Shinigami was about to leave, he sensed something and looked back at Naruto. '**It seems that while the fox was being sealed away some of my essence was sealed inside the boy as well,'** the Shinigami thought. **'I can deal with it now or wait and see how it will benefit me later on.'** After studying the tiny human for a moment, he made his decision. '**I'll just deal with it later, might be fun to see what happen,'** the Shinigami concluded as he left.

_5 Years Later in Konoha_

"Damn stupid villagers, why do they always do this to me every time?" Naruto asked as he ran away from an angry mob of villagers once again. For Naruto, being hated, chased and beaten all the while having peoples after his life is a part of a normal week for him. Although, normal is not how you would describe this spiky blond haired kid because for as long as he could remember he has seen things no one could, he could see all kinds of spirits around him. The first few times that he realized that he can communicate with the dead, it freaked him out, but over time by having them willing to talk to him and all the while being shunned by most of the village, he became used to them. From his strange ability, he also learned that all sort of things have a soul, from animals to plants to rocks, even the river and the air we breathe. This gave him a unique view of the world. While being the village pariah, he ended up befriending many of the friendly spirits. Due to Naruto's wind affinity, which he discovered by conversing with the spirit of a friendly shinobi a couple of years back, he gained a new familiar by the name of Cloud. Cloud was a carefree glowing gray or sliver orb with wings.

"Demon"

"Monster," the angry mob screamed as they chased Naruto.

"Don't worry Naru-kun, soon the ANBU will be here to deal with the mob and then we can spend the rest of this nice day watching clouds," Cloud said in a cheerful tone.

"First of all, who are you, a Nara?" Naruto deadpanned. "Secondly can you help me out by blinding them with a sandstorm or something?" Naruto ranted as he ran.

"Okie Dokie" replied a happy Cloud as he blew a dust storm which blinded and slowed down the incoming mob.

Unfortunately for Naruto as he turned around the next corner he came across another group of angry mob, who proceeded to beat him to a bloody pulp.

As he began to pass out the ANBU showed up and made short work of the idiot villagers, who had broken the third's law.

_In Naruto's Mindscape _

Naruto awoke to a dark, damp sewer like place.

"Hmm I wonder where I am, I guess I will have to walk around to find out" he said. After wandering around aimlessly for hours, he came across a cage with the kanji for seal attach to it. Then, all of a sudden, a pair of giant red eyes appeared and focused on him.

"**So we finally meet, you pathetic excuse for a human,"** it boomed.

"Who are you?" asked a scared Naruto.

"**I am the great and powerful Kyuubi no Kitsune" **it boomed again.

"AHHHHHH! Help! I'm going to get eaten by a demon fox!" Naruto screamed as he ran madly around in a circle. After running around for few minutes he slammed into the Shinigami.

"**You don't know how lucky you are kid, you almost kicked the bucket there,"** said the Shinigami. Upon seeing the Shinigami's demonic face, Naruto fainted. "**How the hell is it possible for him to faint inside his own mind,**" he deadpanned. "**Hey kid wake up. I don't have all day you know," **the Shinigami sighed.

"Please don't eat me?" a scared Naruto asked.

"**We're not going to eat you," **the Shinigami replied.

"**I don't know… I haven't had a decent meal in a long time,"** the Kyuubi added as he licks his lip.

"**Shut up Kurama,"** the Shinigami snapped.

"Kurama?" Naruto asked.

"**That's the name of the giant furball here,"** the Shinigami said as he pointed to a pissed off Kurama. **"I suppose I should change my appearance so you stop freaking out,"** he said as the Shinigami changed his appearance to handsome man with dark eyes and white hair slicked back. He wore a black suit with white gloves, a black fedora and a cane.

"Where are we, what are we doing here and what are you?" Naruto asked waving his arm about.

"**We are in your mind, you're here because you were knocked unconscious, the Kyuubi is here because the Fourth Hokage sealed it inside your gut to save the village, I'm the Shinigami and I am here to talk to you,"** the Shinigami said as he counted off the questions. **"Also, if you were wondering about the demonic look it because I look badass with it, but then again, I always look badass,"** he said as cross his arm in a gangster pose while both Naruto and Kurama sweat-dropped at that.

"So that's why the villagers hate me. They think I'm the Kyuubi," Naruto said as he dropped his head.

"**Yep, they're that stupid to not know the difference between the cereal box and the prize inside it, but you don't worry about it because you are not fluffy-chan,"** the Shinigami said.

"**Yeah like a pathetic human like you could be me…hey don't call me fluffy-chan,"** Kurama growled.

"**Anyways, this talk may take some time, so can you change the scenery around here and feed some rabbits or something to Mr. Ego here?"** the Shinigami asked.

"I can do that?" Naruto asked.

"**Yes,"** the Shinigami replied.

"Change it to what?" Naruto asked again.

"**Make the surrounding into something decent looking. This is your mind, is it not?"** the Shinigami replied. Naruto closed his eyes, then the scene changed into an infinite blue sky with white clouds floating around and they were stand on top of an endless sea that reflected the sky above. The Kyuubi had a collar with the seal on the dog tag around his neck, next to him was a giant white rabbit and in front the fox was a table and two comfortable chairs for Naruto and the Shinigami to sit in.

"**This tastes likes miso ramen and it doesn't bleed,"** Kurama growled.

"That's because the only thing they feed me is ramen, miso is the best flavor by the way, and I don't want to have any more nightmares than I already do, so no blood for you," Naruto deadpanned.

"**Anyways the first thing on our agenda is that I want to make a deal with Kurama. I have your Yin chakra with me, and with it I can make a body for you so you can come out to the outside world to get some fresh air. I can place the new seal on him to let you do this if you make a promise to me that you will protect and help the kid. And with the new body and seal you can eventually end up being truly free if you make an oath with me to amend for your past sin by doing good deeds and promise to not to do any more evil deeds after you're free,"** the Shinigami said.

"**Hmm interesting, but being good is not my thing,"** Kurama said.

"**The kid will help you take down that S-rank shinobi that you are pissed at,"** Shinigami said.

"Who?" Naruto asked.

**"I ****tell you later**** but for now help me out here****," **he replied to Naruto before returning his attention to the Kyuubi, **"Well?"** the Shinigami asked.

"**Good but no,"** Kurama countered.

"I give you more bunnies to eat and add some different flavors that are both ramen and non ramen in taste," Naruto added.

"**Keep going"** an interested fox said.

"**I will make the kid stronger and you have the most powerful host as your partner"**

"**And?" **

"Candy?"

"**I'm not a little kid"**

"**Women?"**

"**Nope"**

"**Men?"**

"**I don't swing that way!"**

"**Pie"**

"**Now you guys are just making things up"**

"Disneyland"

"**How the hell do you know about that place?"**

"How about you help me prank peoples that are mean to me"

"**Haha ha having people suffer unimaginable pain and humiliation is the ultimate form of entertainment! Okay, you have yourself a deal,"** Kurama agreed with an evil smile on his face.

"**Kurama, I think you have a lot of unresolved issues to deal with, but for now, let's move on to the next issue at hand. Naruto, as you know now, the Fourth Hokage was unable to kill Kurama here so he was left with no choice but to seal him in you."** the Shinigami said as Naruto nodded in response. "**However he couldn't seal all of the fox's chakra, so the Fourth summoned me to seal half of it in him and the other half in you, but while I was there I wasn't careful about controlling my power so when Kurama was being sealed in you some of my essence got sealed into you, giving you a little bit of my ability."**

"**Or you just being lazy again,"** Kurama huffed.

"Ability, you mean how I can see spirits and weird stuff?" Naruto asked.

"**Yes, but there is more to it than that and my minion here will tell you all about it,"** the Shinigami said as a black bird appear in front of him.

"I'm not your minion I'm your employee, don't make me call the union on you," the bird ranted, before turning to the blond boy, "anyways hi Naruto-kun I used to be a Konoha ninja when I was alive, but after I died I made a deal to be a reaper, a middleman for the Shinigami," the bird said.

"Why?" Naruto asked.

"I can't tell you why right now because of a certain reason also because of that reason I can't tell you my real name either, so until that time you can call me Crow" he answered.

"**So because of the situation you are in, I decided to help you grasp your ability. In return, you have to work for me,"** the Shinigami said.

"But I want to be a ninja, then fulfill my dream of becoming the Hokage," Naruto stated.

"**Oh you can still do those things. What I'm asking from you won't interfere with your dream, I'm just asking you to do a few tasks for me when you have the time,"** the Shinigami responded smoothly.

"What would I be doing for you?" Naruto asked.

"**You will be helping any spirits with any task that they need help with and helped the spirits of the dead with any unfinished business so they can move on to the afterlife. Once you get stronger, I want you to help me hunt down certain immortals that are foolish enough to believe they can escape me. You don't need to worry about that right now. Most likely you will cross paths with them eventually,"** he answered.

"Sure anything that makes me strong and awesome sounds good to me," Naruto replied.

"**Okay, let me make a few adjustments to the seal to make things a little easier for you now and I will start working on crafting a body for the fox with his Yin chakra. Once that is done, there will be more things for you to do so until then Crow here will tell you about your unique ability,"** the Shinigami said before he left.

"So let me tell you about your abilities or should I say kekkei genkai since you can pass it to your descendants. Also I should tell you about the kekkei genkai you got from the fox as well," Crow said.

"Kekkei genkai?" Naruto asked.

"It looks like I have a lot to explain so let's begin," Crow sighed.

Omake:

~Q&A with Naruto, Crow and Kurama~

"So why did you attack Konoha for anyway?" Naruto asked.

"**Hmm, I think I will tell you when you become a Genin,"** Kurama replied.

"Why does the Shinigami eat a person's soul for?" Naruto asked.

"The gateway to the afterlife is in the bowels of the Shinigami's stomach," Crow answered.

"Okay, oh hey you are sealed in my gut right?" Naruto asked.

"**Don't remind me,"** Kurama huffed.

"And we are in my mind right?" Naruto continued.

"Yes we are. Where are you going with this, Naruto-kun?" Crow asked.

"Well, I know that I sometimes tend to think with my stomach," at this Kurama chuckled, "but," Naruto continued while ignored the fox, "how come I can talk to the fox in my mind when he's in my gut."

**"…"**

"…"

"…"

"I'm not sure Naruto-kun," Crow answered.

"**I have no idea,"** Kurama replied.

"Hmm, mind link?" Crow suggested.

"**How the chakra network is set up?"** Kurama added.

"Pocket universe?"

"**Astral projection?"**

"Magic?"

"**42?" **

"Well, I guess it is just one of those life mysteries that we will never know," Crow concluded.

"You mean like where babies come from?" Naruto asked.

"Actually that's one of those "we will tell you when you are older" things," Crow said.

"**And I can't wait to see the brat's face when he finds out,"** Kurama chuckled.

A/N: Thank for reading and I will be updating as soon as possible until then Sayonara no Jutsu.


	2. Chapter 2 Even in Death the Hero Have to

Path of a Ninja Arc:

Chapter 2~Even in Death the Hero Have to Save the Princess~

Disclaimer: I'm not the kami of the Narutoverse, so I do not own Naruto or other random reference

A/N: Yeah I have follower. Thank for the reviews and I try to update ASP being in college don't give a lot of free time. Anyway enter the first human shape OC character.

"normal Speech"

'thoughts'

**Demon and other uber being**

_The Infirmary inside the Hokage Tower _

Naruto woke up with Cloud and Crow next to him.

"Yeah! Naru-Kun is alive and best of all we have a new friend to play with," said a spirited Cloud cheered.

"I'm glad to know that my life comes second to meeting new people for you," Naruto deadpanned.

"Well if you do die then you will just ended up as a ghost and we will still be friend," Cloud said with a smile.

"But I will be dead," Naruto said trying to get his point across.

"So it not like I'm going to discriminate against you due to your state of existence," Cloud responded.

"That not the point," Naruto sighed.

Just then the Third Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, steps in to check up on Naruto.

"Ah Naruto you're finally awake I sorry for what happen and will do everything in my power to make sure it won't happen again, anyway how are you feeling right now?" the Thrid asked.

"I'm fine Jiji and thanks for worrying about me I appreciated it," Naruto responded.

"Think nothing of it, it is my job to take care of all the people within this village," said Sarutobi, then he turn his head and saw Crow. "That is an unusually pet you have there will you be able to take care of it Naruto."

"He can see you?" a shock Naruto asked.

"Yes he can see me why wouldn't he?" Crow responded.

"Aren't you like dead therefore a spirit," he stated.

"Yes but I also work for Shinigami-sama as a reaper therefore given certain privilege such as having a physical form that can be seen by those in the physical world," Crow answered.

"Naruto are you taking to the bird and what do you mean by it being dead?" Sarutobi asked.

"Though in this form because they can't communicate with spirits, so for them it will be like speaking to any other animal therefore they wouldn't understand anything I say," Crow added.

"So what do we do now?" Naruto asked.

"We can tell him the truth, from what I remember of the Third I believe him to be trustworthy," Crow said.

"Okay, umm Jiji there something I have to tell you and I don't want other to know about it yet, so can we keep it a secret between us," Naruto asked.

"Sure, let me seal the room so no can eavesdrop on our conversation," Sarutobi said as he began to seal the room, "began."

"Okay let starts with letting you know I know about Kyuubi no Kitsune being seal in me," Naruto stated.

"WHAT! Who told you?" asked an angry Hokage.

"No told me I met him when I pass out along with the Shinigami," said Naruto as he began to tell the Hokage of the meeting between the Shinigami, Kurama, and him.

_A Few Minute Later_

"So that what happen," Naruto finished after a few minutes of explanation.

"So you gain a Kekkei Genkai from both the Kyuubi and the Shinigami, so what exactly can they do," Sarutobi asked.

"From what Crow-sensei told me the Kitsune no Iyashi (Fox Healing) that I got from Kurama give me an amazing healing ability that range from a slightly increase in regeneration to resistance to most poison. As for the Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) that I got from the Shinigami it allow me to communicate, see and sense the spirits around me but that part of it true potential," Naruto said.

"True potential?" Sarutobi asked.

"Crow-sensei told me that the true purpose of it is to allow me to connect with a targeted soul in order to understand it from its perspective, so in a battle I can know how my opponents think and feel. Then once I am connected to the targeted soul I'm able to manipulated it to effect the mind, body and spirit of my opponent though what that entitle is still unknown to me, me and Crow-sensei are still trying to figure it out, but once we do I will tell you," Naruto said.

"That is truly an amazing ability you have there, Naruto," the Hokage mused.

"Yeah it great and all however Crow-sensei told me that I need to train hard to master it and also to not heavily depend on it and work on my other skill if I want to be an uber ninja like he was," Naruto added.

"That is some good method to follow," the Hokage said.

_The Next Day_

Naruto followed by Crow and Cloud, were walking pass the bathhouse on their way to the ninja academy when he notice the bottom half of a body sticking out of the wall of the female side of the hot spring.

"You don't see a wall with a pair of legs everyday now do you?" Naruto mused.

"Ah that was some nice anti-emo therapeutic session and I got to say that brunet have some nice c-cup," said the blue spiky hair stranger with emerald green eyes as he pull the top half of his body out of the wall.

"HEY WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU," Crow shouted.

"Yeah you tell him Crow-sensei," Naruto agreed.

"The one with the purple hair's breasts has better skin tone and nipple ratio," Crow commented as Naruto face-fault.

"The black hair one look like her breast jiggle a lot, I bet it will be fun to bounce on them," add a childish Cloud.

"Hentai, hentai all of three of you are hentai," Naruto said with his eye twitching as he pointed a finger at them.

The stranger stared at Naruto.

Naruto stared back.

"…"

"…"

"You can see me?" the stranger asked.

"Yes," Naruto replied.

"So you possess the Shinigami no Okurimono right?" the stranger asked again.

"Yes," Naruto replied again.

"Yahoo, I can finally pass on my legacy," the stranger shouted.

"There's no way I'm letting you turn me into a peeping tom," Naruto said while crossing his arms.

"No, no that come later on, what I'm passing on to you now is my jutsus especially those based around the Shinigami no Okurimono, so followed me my young new apprentice and we will began you torture…err I mean your training," the stranger replied.

"Umm actually I have to get to the academy now and also I'm not allowed to talked to stranger nor follow them anywhere," Naruto said.

"Don't worry about that what you learn in the academy is pretty much useless for being a ninja for the most part and as for the stranger danger it doesn't applied to you because you are an orphan," the stranger commented.

In response Naruto sat down in the corner of woe and cried anime tears saying "I know I'm an orphan but that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt when people bring it up jerk."

"Hehe Naru-kun's eyes are making raindrop," Cloud giggle as teardrop fall on him.

"Harsh man harsh," Crow added.

"Oh my gosh he's going emo, I must take drastic measure to stop his emo breakdown, Nise no Genjitsu: Tobu e no Buto no Jutsu (False Reality: Boot to the Head Technique)" said the stranger as he threw a knife made entity out of chakra, and when it hit Naruto it causes a boot to appeared out of nowhere and slam into his face, leaving a shoe imprint on his face.

"**HAHA that was classic,"** Kurama laughed in Naruto mind.

'Shut up,' Naruto responded.

"**Hey this is the only entertainment I get, it not like there's cable TV in here, anyway get me some beef flavor ramen rabbit, I like a snack with my show,"** Kurama said.

'Fine here jerk,' Naruto replied as he went back to deal with the stranger.

"OUCH WHAT THE HELL, THAT HURTS AND WHERE DID THAT BOOT COME FROM AND WHERE DID IT GO, BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY WHY THE HELL IS THERE A KNIFE STICKING OUT OF MY BACK," Naruto yelled.

"The knife will disappear when I cancel the jutsu, as for everything else let go somewhere private to talk, people are beginning to look at you like you are crazy and might send you to a mental institution," he replied.

"Yeah like you one to talk," Naruto mumbled as he look around and saw that people were looking at him strangely. He then he nodded and began to follow the stranger.

_In a Deserted Training Ground_

"Okay before we started our conversation can you please get rid of this knife in my back," Naruto said.

"Oh yeah sorry I forgot about that there," the stranger said innocently as he canceled the jutsu.

Naruto glared at him.

"Okay let start off by introducing ourselves you go first whisker," the stranger said.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki, the bird is name Crow and this ball of sunshine is name Cloud. And if you don't start telling me how to get you to go to the afterlife, I going to find a priest to exorcise you," Naruto said continuing to glare at him.

"Yeah so my name is Nanashi and I possess the Shinigami no Okurimono too," Nanshi said.

"You have the Shinigami essences seal in you too?" Naruto asked.

"What no. What actually happen to me was I was exposed to a strong concentration of the Shinigami's essences when I was in close approximate to him and now I'm kind of stuck with it," Nanashi responded.

"Yeah that sound like something that the Shinigami would cause," Crow added.

"As for the reason way I haven't move on it is because of two reasons, the first I need to pass on my jutsus and legacy to someone because I die before I could do that and the second is that there's a princess that I have to save from an evil spirit that kidnapped her about 100 year ago and has recently been reported to be sighted around here, anyway about the jutsus I…"

"Wait a 100 years?" Naruto interrupted.

"Yeah a 100 year, anyway back to the jutsus," Nanashi said trying to change the subject.

"It been a 100 year and you still have not been able to rescue her," Naruto deadpanned.

"Um there were a lot of key items to collect," Nanashi said looking away.

"LIAR!" Naruot yelled.

"Minibosses?"

Naruto stared at him with a disbelief look on his face.

"I got lost?"

Naruto continued to stare.

"I hit a glitch,"

"WILL YOU TELL ME ALREADY,"

"Okay, okay the truth is that I was busy peeking at every town, village and city I stop at during my quest," Nanashi admitted as Naruto face-fault.

"Hmm being invisible and intangible to the world makes it great for peeking," Crow nodded his head in an understanding mood.

"Naked girl are fun girls," Cloud said jumping for joy.

"Ero-seishin (pervy-spirit)," Naruto muttered.

"Hi my name is Nanashi," Nanashi stated.

"Hi Nanashi" Crow and Cloud said together.

"I am a pervert and it been 25 minute since I done something perverted" said Nanashi.

"This is not Pervert Anonymous so find help for your problem somewhere else," Naruto deadpanned.

"So back to our discussion the jutsus I developed for the Shinigami no Okurimono based on the aspect of the manipulating the targeted soul and follow the three basics style: the Nise no Genjitsu (False Reality) affecting the mind the soul perceive, Fune o Noroi (Curse Vessel) affecting the body the soul inhabits, Seishin o Kowasu Mono (Spirit Breaker) affecting the very soul itself. The boot to the head that you experience early today…" Naruto growled remembering about the incident "…was due to the Nise no Genjitsu style. From the connection I made with you I was able to alter your perception of reality forcing your mind to experience an illusion of my choice similar to genjutsu, which in this cases a flying boot to the head. However unlike genjutsu these images are not just false image that led the body to believe that it is just in pain but trick the mind to believe the body is actually being physical attack and harm causing actually physical damage to the body, the bruise there on your face is proof of that."

"Okay but what about the chakra knife that your throw at me, not only did it not hurt me but I have no cut mark from it," Naruto observed.

"That because I didn't want it to happen but if I did I could however it did serve a purpose to the jutsu also to calling it a chakra knife is a bit incorrect because I don't use chakra," Nanashi said.

"WHAT! What do you mean you don't use chakra?" Naruto asked.

"What I mean is that I can't use it because I'm dead so no living body no physical energy to mix with spiritual energy, so like your friend Cloud I replace physical energy with natural energy from the air and ground around me, though since your friend is a wind elemental it is easy for him to draw from the air than the earth, and use it to mix it with the spiritual energy to created spiritual essence to perform the jutsu but when you learn these jutsu you will use regular chakra. As for the purpose of the knife they serve as receiver to focuses on the intended target, as you know even when you are connected to a target soul you are still aware of the other souls and spirits around you so you're connected to them on some level. So the illusion is not only seen or hear by the target but also by other around you so to prevent other from suffer unnecessary injury the charka knife are use because when your cast a jutsus you pour some of your soul into it, that why you emotional stated sometime effect the strength of jutsu, therefore the essence of the jutsu is in sync with the essence in the knife that spread out all over the target when it hit them, so the jutsu know who to effected," Nanashi explained.

"Wow that cool, how about the other two styles?" Naruto asked.

"Well the Fune o Noroi is the power to manipulate the state of the body, the possibility of this include diminish the strength of your opponent while augmenting the strength your allies and transferring the damage you and your allies receive to your opponent. And finally the Seishin o Kowasu Mono style, this one literally strike at a person will to fight affecting the emotional state of your opponents causing them to feel from everything to hopeless, fear to pure bliss" Nanashi finished.

"Awesome okay teach me, teach me," an excited Naruto begged.

"Okay holds your horse, we will start with the basic and work our way up," Nanashi said.

"Fine so what do we start with?" Naruto asked.

"Well the logical but boring way to go about this is to start with chakra control mainly due to the fact that the large amount of chakra you possessed from having the fox seal in you make it very difficult to gain control of it," Nanashi pondered.

Naruto groaned at that.

"But I think we can do that after we do it the fun way first," Nanashi said with an evil smirk.

"Which is?" a scared Naruto asked.

"Oh just an evaluation to see where you are at, by bombarding you with a whole lot of Nise no Genjitsu: Tobu e no Buto no Jutsu (False Reality: Boot to the Head Technique) to see how many of it you can dodge and how long you can last," Nanashi said with a evil grin.

"Yeah kick the Naru game," Cloud cheered as Naruto try to escape 'death by footwear'.

Omake:

~Naruto Training Plans~

"Crow and Cloud since we're training Naruto-san in the way of the ninja, then we must come up with a created way to torture him for our entertainment," Nanashi said.

"Um you know I right here," Naruto said.

"Yeah that's a great idea," Crow said.

"New game for Naru-kun," Cloud said.

"Do you guys have selective hearing or something?" Naruto deadpanned.

"First thing on the list is a daily booth to the head to start the day off?" Nanashi started.

"Why am I not surprise here," Naruto sighed.

"Let tie him up and hang him from a tree then beat him with a stick until he learn how to do the Nawanuke no Jutsu (Rope Escape Technique)," Crow added.

"Randomly attacks Naru-kun with sharp pointy things, vital points are worth a 100 point," Cloud said innocently.

"Not you guy too," Naruto said with anime tears.

"Good, good I going to add a booth to the head for motivation," Nanashi added.

"What with your obsession with injuring my head with footwear," Naruto said in the corner of woe.

"And from the look of it another booth to the head to treat any possible emo syndrome" Nanashi said.

Orignal Jutsu List

Nise no Genjitsu: Tobu e no Buto no Jutsu (False Reality: Boot to the Head Technique)

Rank: D

Description: A Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) Kekkei Genkai gag jutsu. Cause a boot to fly and hit the target's face. Use to mock, cause pain, motivation, treat emo syndrome of the target but mostly use for laughs.

A/N: Tune in next time for epic adventure of Naruto in The Spirit of the Ninja until then Sayonara no Jutsu


	3. Chapter 3 Getting School and Getting Sta

Path of a Ninja Arc:

Chapter 3~Getting School and Getting Stab are Both Painful ~

Disclaimer: I don't have an S-class jutsu to own Naruto, so I do not own Naruto or other random reference

A/N: After this chapter there might be two or three more arcs until we enter a new one, we just have to see. This is also a Naruto/Hinata but that going to happen until a little later on, though I not really sure how good I am at romance part when it come up so I guess we have to wait and see.

"normal Speech"

'thoughts'

**Demon and other uber being**

_In Naruto's Apartment_

After an evening of being painfully bludgeon by boots of death for hours Naruto woke up the next morning bruise and sore as he enter the kitchen to be greeted by Nanashi, Crow, and Cloud.

"Good morning champ, hurry up and eat breakfast so that I can take you to school on my way to work," said Nanashi while sitting down and reading a newspaper.

"Naruto nii-chan you better work hard when you are in school if you want to be as cool and amazing as your oniichan now," Crow lectured.

"Arf! Arf! Bacon," Cloud barked.

"Isn't it a little early for all this craziness," Naruto deadpanned as he made some instant ramen for breakfast.

"Nope," all three of them said together.

"So what are all three of you really going to do today," Naruto asked.

"Well while you are in class I will try to find heaven on earth also known as the hidden kunoichi hot spring," said Nanashi with a nosebleed, "then we will continue your training."

"What about trying to find that princess of your?" Naruto asked.

"Oh she waited for 100 years, a few day won't matter that much," Nanashi answered.

"She didn't wait for 100 years baka," Naruto muttered.

"I'm going to check on how my old clan is doing and then join you in class half way through," Crow said.

"You're from a clan, what is it like?" Naruto asked.

"It pretty much like any other clan, all the elders has a major stick up their ass," Crow said.

"And I'm going to class with Naru-kun and blow air behind people's ears for fun," Cloud added.

_At the Academy _

Once again Naruto failed the exam given with question that no one in class could have answered and teachers continued to sabotage or plain out ignored him. Naruto was eating his moldy old bread alone with Cloud when they met Crow again.

"So how was your day so far?" Crow asked.

"No one tried to kill me so okay so far," he stated. "How about you, how was your day?" Naruto asked.

"Fine, the elders still have a stick up their butt. What's up with your lunch?" Crow inquired.

"It was the only few thing anyone is willing to sell me," Naruto stated.

"It seem like we have to teach you how to do the Henge no Jutsu (Transform Technique) to fool people so you can buy better things," Crow pondered.

"Thank that will help out a lot," Naruto said.

"No problem, we better head back to class and see what we need to fix for you in your training," Crow said.

As they enter the building people spotted Crow on Naruto's shoulder.

"Hey! You are not allowed to bring wild animal in here," said the teacher.

"It's not a wild animal, it my ninja bird," Naruto responded.

"Yeah right," the teacher said back.

"It true, Kiba's family have ninja dog so it possible for me to have ninja bird," Naruto replied back.

"Fine," he responded angrily and muttered "stupid demon brat," under his breath.

"I bet it is lame and can't do anything at all," one of the students said.

"Do something," Naruto whispered to Crow.

Crow went and picked up a pen and drop it front of a dark hair girl with white eyes with a tint of lavender. When Naruto look at her, she blushed for reason he couldn't understand.

"See I am an awesome bird trainer," Naruto bragged.

After class was over all of his classmates were being pick up by their family members, Naruto, Crow and Cloud spotted Nanashi motioning them to follow him. After walking for a few minute they ended up near the edge of a large forest.

"So how was your day," Naruto asked.

"I found the holy land the hidden kunoichi hot spring is truly heaven on earth. I feel fulfill in my afterlife and now I can move onto the great beyond with no regret," said Nanashi with anime tears flowing from his eyes and a spotlight shinning on him as an angel version of him left his body as it ascending to heaven even though he already dead and therefore a spirit himself.

"Is he using Nise no Genjitsu on us?" Naruto asked with a sweat-drop.

"I don't know, but it is better to not to ask," Crow responded.

"So what useful thing have they been teaching the kid?" Nanashi asked.

"Nothing the thing they taught is either useless or going to get him kill in the field," Crow said causing Naruto look downcast at that.

"Don't look so down we will beat everything we know into you and make you a great ninja even if it kills you," Nanashi said.

"Something tell me that you mean that in a literally sense," Naruto deadpanned.

"Anyways let's go get you some tool of the trade and maybe find a weapon for you to master," Nanashi said.

"How, no one would sell me anything in this village unless it is in bad condition and if they do it is highly overprice and I'm really short on money because I also have pay for the other overprice necessity," Naruto said bitterly.

"That why I came up with a great idea of going into The Forest of Death to scavenge some stuff that past ninja lost or no longer have any use for but my advice for you is to ignore any dead body you see," Nanashi said in an excited tone.

"How is going into a big scary forest with death in it name a good idea, it is kind of oh I don't know suicidal," Naruto said a little bit unease about the grinning Nanashi.

"But that what being ninja is all about doing stupid stuff that can get you kill," said a cheerful Nanashi which cause Naruto stare at him.

"You don't have to worry I can still use jutsu to handle anything that come our way," Nanshi sighed. "Beside we are having you train with the Shinigami no Okurimono by using it to not only be aware of any danger that nearby but also talk your way out from being eaten by any carnivores animal you will encounter because the Shinigami no Okurimono allow you to communicate with animal on a spiritual level."

"What if they want to eat me regardless of what I said?" Naruto asked.

"Well you can always run away, anyway let head out," Nanashi said.

"I going to die and he going to kill me," Naruto muttered over and over again as they head into the forest.

_In The Forest of Death_

After wandering around the forest Naruto collected a decent set of kunai, shuriken, ninja wire and a quality ninja pouch.

"Arrr, Matey! We got some booty to dig up," a hyperactive Cloud said.

"Look like we got you some decent set of ninja tools but can't seem to find a weapon you can specialize in," Nanashi commented.

"Yeah I know, hey Ero-seishin I was wonder about something," Naruto said.

"Hmm you give me a nickname. I like it, it really reflect me perfectly I'm so proud," said Nanashi.

"Of course you are, you stupid perverted ghost," Naruto muttered.

"Anyway what do you have on your mind?" Nanashi asked.

"Well we kind of deep in the forest and I was wonder if you know how to get back when we done here?" Naruto asked. Nanashi just stared at Naruto and then look away ignoring the question.

"We're lost aren't we?" Naruto deadpanned.

"We can't leave until we find you a weapon Naruto-kun," Nanashi said ignoring Naruto's question.

"Don't worry Naruto-kun I can fly above the tree to see where we have to go in order to get back," Crow reassured Naruto.

"So you guys are looking for a weapon for the little one there, if that true then I know where one is," said a new voice.

They turn around and saw a small human shape being made out of wood wearing a flower hat with branch like antler sticking out of it head, moss and leaf cover clothing and it was holding a large leaf like it was an umbrella.

"Hi, I'm Naruto and this is Crow, Cloud and Nanashi but he a pervert so I just called him Ero-seishin…" "And proud of it," Nanashi shouted. "…so who are you," Naruto asked.

"My name is Tree and I am one of the many spirit that affiliate itself with plant life that tends to inhabit the forest and as I was saying if you are looking for a weapon I know were one at however if you can wield it or not is up to you," Tree said.

"Really, so will you show us where it is?" Nanashi asked.

"Yes, if you help me with my task," Tree said.

"What kind of task," Naruto asked. "Man this feel like an RPG doing mini-quest to get a rare items."

"Planting stuff, we plant spirits like places with a lot of vegetation, so doing such task helps us a lot," Tree said.

"Well at least I don't have to slay a dragon," Naruto said.

"Hmm instead of doing that, why don't you just become one of Naru-kun familiar, then you can have him do thing for you when he not busy like he does for me," Cloud said.

"Can I really do that?" Tree asked.

"Yeah, I'm Naru-kun familiar and he play game with me because he promise to play with me when he can," Cloud said.

"I thought it was because you won't leave me alone," Naruto deadpanned.

"Same thing," Cloud innocently replied.

"Okay I don't mind, from now on I am your familiar and I will assist you in any way that I can," Tree said.

"Okay I fine with that," Naruto replied.

"Yeah a new friend to play with," Cloud cheered.

"Follow me and I will show where the weapon is at," Tree said as he began to walk away. After about an hour of walking they came to a clearing in the forest. In the middle of it there was a staff as black as night sky stick out of it.

"There it is. It was forges out of a dark ore that fall from the heaven and ashes from a very ancient and mystical tree so no how much damage it receives it will repair itself back to its original form. Legend said it once belong to a great warrior that was able to defeat his enemies even after he been long dead. All there is left to do is place your hand on it and be judge," Tree said.

"Yep definitely feel like an RPG," Naruto said as he walk up to it and place his hand on it, then everything went black.

"You seek to wield me but in order for that to happen I must see into your heart to see if you are worthy to wield me," said a female voice. He looks around for the source of the voice but found nothing and could only see him, the staff and the blackness around him. "You bear a great burden and face a lot hated and loneliness yet you don't let it taint your heart but deal it head on. You seek strength for recognition that is not a bad reason however it is not the best reason either but you still young and still have a lot of time to live and grow. Stubborn, not very bright, ramen obsessive…"

"Hey don't dis the ramen" Naruto exclaimed.

"…but possess a strong will and a pure heart, well as pure as it can be in a world like this. For these reason I deem you worth to wield me but if you become my master I ask only one thing from you and that is to always hold on to the strength and will that you have in your heart that you currently have right now," the voice finished off.

"Okay," Naruto said. The blackness seem to fade and Naruto return to where he was with the staff in hand but at the head of the staff there was a light blue blade made of chakra sticking out of it now. Then a seal appear on Naruto right hand and his new scythe disappeared into it.

"If you ever need to wield me called me by the name you earn me, Mugen no Sora (Endless Sky) for the potential you possess is as endless as the sky above you, beside all the hero do it when they take out their kickass weapon," the voice told him.

"Hmm a scythe not a bad choice, kind of symbolic considering you are an agent of death and it look badass," Nanashi said.

"So the soul of that scythe decided to choose you to be it master right?" Tree asked.

"Yeah I also made a promise with her when she chooses me and hopefully I won't disappoint her in the end," Naruto said.

"Her huh, so how does she rate on a scale of hotness?" Nanashi asked with a lecherous grin.

"Naru-kun and scythe-chan, sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G," Cloud singed.

"Cloud-kun it is not like that and Ero-seishin keep your perverted thought to yourself, beside I haven't sees her only heard her voice," Naruto said.

"You haven't seen me yet," Mugen no Sora whispered.

"Aw, but you're my student and as my student I am supposes to pass everything that I know on to you including my perverted ways," Nanashi pouted.

"Not happening," Naruto responded.

"Hey guy it is kind of getting dark so I think now will be a good time to head back" Crow said trying to stop their arguments.

"Yeah the kid needs his sleep for tomorrow since it is the weekend and we got all day to torture him," said Nanashi.

"You enjoy my pain too much you sadist," Naruto grumbled as they headed back.

_The Next Day at a Random Training Ground_

Nanashi had Naruto started working on his chakra control by doing the leaf concentration exercises however due to Naruto's short attention span it wasn't going well until Nanashi literally beat it into him to the point he does it naturally. Next he began on the tree climbing exercises and after a few minute where Naruto only got a foot or two off the ground Nanashi called for his attention.

"Now that you gotten better on using you chakra, well somewhat better than before I can now tell you what I plan for your training," Nanashi said.

"You mean that causing me unnecessary pain was not a part of your plan," Naruto deadpanned.

"No that part of the fun that come with training you, anyway from the look of it, it seem that you will most likely never be able to do a normal Bunshin no Jutsu (Clone Technique)," Nanashi said.

"WHAT!" Naruto shouted.

"I know, I know you need to learn that to pass to be a Genin that why we going to replace it with the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique) and I chose that technique for a reason. First off usually Kage Bunshin (Shadow Clone Technique) is dangerous to learn due to how much chakra need to make one, but because of your large chakra reserve you can make a lot with no problem but we will start off small. Secondly because you will gain the memory of the clone when it dispels it will be useful for training. Lastly it will also help make your reserve grow even more making you a chakra monster and on the plus side there will be more of you to torture," Nanashi stated.

"So I can learn a lot of thing faster," said Naruto ignoring the promise of torture.

"Yeah but you still have to work hard. Now once you are able to make Kage Bunshin (Shadow Clone Technique), I want you to make up to 9 clones to train with me. I shall up the number as time goes on. Once we get up to 9 clone I want two of them to train with me to master the Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) Kekkei Genkai and the jutsu that are based around it, another two to train in basic ninja skill with Crow-san, another two to learn some wind jutsu with Cloud-kun and Two to learn some earth and water jutsu from Tree-kun because you can't rely on one element only. As for the last clone he will continue chakra control exercises while you will train your body to build up your strength and speed. With the Kage Bunshin (Shadow Clone Technique) you can train all day while sending a clone to attended the academy," Nanashi said.

"Work for me," Naruto stated.

"Good let get this done so we can continue your personal hell," Nanashi said with a smirk.

After an hour of trying and Nanashi using the Nise no Genjitsu causing boots, chibi penguin and all sort of strange object to strike Naruto for motivation, he was finally able to master the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique).

Omake:

~Gardening with Tree-kun~

_In The Forest of Death_

Because Naruto had some free time and with nothing to do we find him, with Crow, Cloud and Tree in the Forest of Death planting some exotic plants, Nanashi was off peeking at the hot spring once again.

"Thank for doing this task for me Naruto-sama," Tree said.

"Yeah and with you coming with us it is way safer coming here than before," Naruto said.

"Well since my kind are like the guardian of the forest creature tends respect us and leave those with us alone, it was kind of lucky you didn't die before," Tree stated.

"I know, so what kind of plant are we planting here?" Naruto asked.

"Just one of the many man-eating plants that are found within the Forest of Death," Tree responded nonchalant.

"I know you spirits don't have to worry about self-preservation, however I do and growing something that can end up eating me doesn't seem to agree with my survival instinct," Naruto said.

"Everything has a purpose in this world Naruto-sama it just turn out that this plant purpose is to consume mankind," Tree calmly replied. 

"I'm not questioning its existence, I'm questioning my wellbeing here," Naruto deadpanned. Suddenly a strange blue teardrop shape creature appeared right in front of them.

"What the hell is that?" Naruto exclaimed pointing at the creature.

"It is a level 5 Slime kill it and earn some gold," Tree stated (A/N: Slime is from Dragon Quest so I don't own it). Naruto stared at Tree and then ask "Is that thing made out of gold?"

"No," Tree replied.

"Then how will killing it get me gold it doesn't make sense, this is not an RPG," Naruto stated.

"Since when does the ninja world make sense, they give kids as old as 12 the license to kill," Tree stated.

"And give them nice pointy sharp object to play with," Crow added.

"Hell they even let you live by yourself without any kind of adult supervision," Tree said.

"Okay I get the point I will go and kill it, beside I could use the money," Naruto sighed.

"Go Naru-kun used InferMost on it," Cloud cheered.

A/N: Public service announcement from Smokey the Bear 'Only you can prevent forest fire' anyway until next time Sayonara no Jutsu


	4. Chapter 4 Heartbreak a Worth a Thousand

Path of a Ninja Arc:

Chapter 4~Heartbreak a Worth a Thousand Songs but not a Record Deal~

Disclaimer: The AU we exist in does not make me the author of Naruto, so I do not own Naruto or other anime/video game references

A/N: This chapter is the revised version and is beta by shima orealu.

A/N: The next chapter will be the last in this arc, so the one after that will start a new arc for this story.

"normal Speech"

'thoughts'

**Demon and other uber being**

Different language 

_On the Way to the Academy _

A 10 year old Naruto, along with Cloud, Tree, Crow and Nanashi were walking to the academy. Nanashi, who still hadn't broken the habit, was only there to chat with them until they reached the academy. Then, he would head out to do something perverted again. Naruto had been trained by his four friends/teachers for years, to the point that his skills right now could earn him the rank Genin if he wanted.

"Now that you got the basics down, we will move on to more advanced stuff, although we will still work on the basics from time to time so you won't forget them" Nanashi said.

"That is a sound plan. I was actually going to teach you some sealing techniques" said Crow.

"You're a seal master?" Naruto asked.

"Yes." Crow replied " You are required to learn it if you become a reaper working under Shinigami-sama and we are considered the best at it. Hopefully you learn enough that you can create a medium through which Cloud and Tree can interact in the physical world"

"Yahoo! More wind attacks for Naru-kun and flying" Cloud cheers.

"Flying?" Naruto asked.

"Magic and pixie dust! Believe in them and you can soar toward the sky Naru-kun" Cloud sings.

"Note to self, never give Cloud-kun sugar if he ever gains the ability to eat food" Naruto said with a sweatdrop.

"From me, you will learn more earth and water techniques. Also, I will teach you some exercises to draw water from the environment and atmosphere, plus how to shape the ground around to gain some field advantage, Naruto-sama" Tree added.

"We started on shape transformation starting from one dimension up to three dimensions shape to get you to make those chakra knives and will come in handy to shape the blade on the Mugen no Sora so that you not only limited to scythe and staff mode. " Nanashi said "Also speaking of Mugen no Sora, I was planning to teach you two different taijutsu styles, one best for close combat and the other for utilizing the Mugen no Sora which I will teach you first so you can get you some practice with it and to get you used to using that weapon"

"Yeah, we need to hang out more Naruto-kun" said Mugen in Naruto's head.

"All these extra skills will be good for you if your enemies ever discover your kekkei genkai's weakness. Always have a backup plan" Nanashi told him.

"Huh? The Shinigami no Okurimono have weaknesses?" Naruto ask.

"Yes, everything has its own limitation and nothing is absolute, though I thought by now you had figured one of them out from all the time you saw me use the Shinigami no Okurimono. The first weakness is due to the chakra knife or whatever you use as a receiver is limited by how long they can stay on the target, so you can only affect the target until you cancel the receiver or until the essence that your chakra speared inside your opponent is filtered out. The other weakness is the strength of your opponent's will compare to yours. If your opponent's will is stronger, they can break the effect of the Shinigami no Okurimono. However, you are really stubborn I doubt that you will have to worry about it much" Nanashi explained.

"So as long as I never give up and never let my opponent break my will they can't overcome the Shinigami no Okurimono?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, now about your graduation plan, not only do I want you to graduate around the same time as everyone in your age group, but to also be the deadlast or a least pass with an average grade instead of rookie of the year or anywhere near the top of the class. You should have Iruka as your teacher, who is the first teacher to treat you fair and equal" said Nanashi

"You want me to do this for a reason right?" Naruto inquired.

"Yes. Being the deadlast when are you truly the rookie of the year is more advantageous because it will cause others to underestimate you and when you reveal your true skills it will be too late for them and cost them their victory" Nanashi explained.

"So the title of rookie of the year is stupid because it shows your true strength to everyone and goes against what being a ninja is all about, which is deception" Naruto said.

"Yep, you really are learning, anyway I got naked ladies to look at so off to school with you guys or else I send the flying monkey after you like I did for the teacher that came before Iruka" Nanashi threatened.

"Huh? I thought that we drugged him, dressed him in drag and sent him to one of those special bars where he got traumatized enough that he ended up in a long term therapy program forcing him to quit his job just because he trying to kill me" Naruto mused.

"**HAHA his girly scream and face of terror and humiliation will be forever carved in my memory"** said Kurama in Naruto mind.

"Seriously Kurama you have problems; but as long as those 101 flavored bunnies and pranks keep the village from being destroyed, I really don't care" Naruto sighed.

"Ninja have therapists?" Cloud asked.

"I think they have psych evaluators to make sure most ninja don't go kamikaze on missions" Tree responded.

"You know we kind of got that drug a bit too easily, though it was supposed to be for poison techniques, which is important for ninja but still drug control is a bit bad around here" Crow added.

"If we did that to him, then who did I send that flying monkey to?" Nanshi pondered.

With the identity of the flying monkey victim on his mind, Nanashi went to seek nude women while the rest headed toward class.

_In the Classroom_

When Naruto entered the classroom he saw the daily occurrence of fangirls drooling over the emo king known as Uchiha Sasuke.

"SASUKE-KUN, please go out with me" screamed all his fangirls at once.

"Hn, no" said Sasuke as he turn away and began to brood.

All his fangirls looked downcast while thinking "Sasuke-kun is so cool'.

One of these downcast fangirls was Naruto's crush Sakura Haruno and in an attempt to gain her friendship he tried to cheer her up.

"Hey Sakura-chan don't look so down. Sasuke-teme is an idiot for not seeing what a great girl you are and taking you out on a date" Naruto said.

In an alternative universe where Sakura Haruno was not a blind obsessed fangirl, she saw the kindness in Naruto's word and befriended him, however in this universe that was not the case as she felt that Naruto had insulted her precious Sasuke-kun and she turned her frustration of being rejected on him.

"Shut up Naruto-baka. You are so annoying! And don't you dare insult Sasuke-kun! He is handsome, cool, talented, and a Uchiha the greatest clan in Konoha; while you are a deadlast useless loser orphan nobody and should do what all the villagers said you should do 'be useful and go lay down in a hole somewhere and just die'. Do me one favor and don't ever bug me again" she growled.

While some of his classmate thought that was cruel and others were indifferent, most of Sasuke's fangirls showed their support in hope of getting Sasuke's attention, which he ignore again.

However for Naruto, the thought of starting a friendship with Sakura, who he believe to understand his loneliness because he thought she felt same loneliness by being bullied by the other student, ended there, as his heart began to break.

"Okay Haruno-san. I will leave you alone and shall never bug you again" Naruto said looking at her with fake smile but eyes devoid of all emotion; not that she never notices and went to sat down somewhere away from her.

For the rest of the class Naruto was quiet and never spoke a word. That went on for days, causing Iruka and his friends to worry, but when they asked if he was okay, he always responded that he was in an emotionless tone and went back to being silent. During his training session with Nanashi, Crow, Cloud, and Tree he would work quietly and endless on the task. Nanashi finally had enough and decided to do something.

"Okay, what's wrong with you kid?" Nanashi asked.

"Nothing. So, what am I going to do for my training" Naruto responded.

"For two weeks you will do no training but try to find a hobby to occupy your time" Nanashi sighed.

"I don't need a hobby. What I need is to train and learn jutsu to become a ninja" Naruto responded emotionlessly.

"I'm your teacher and you will do as I say" Nanashi told him.

Naruto glared at him and walked away.

When he was gone, Nanashi asked the others about Naruto's behavior.

"Well, he's been like that since that Sakura girl dumped him" Crow said.

"We tried to cheer him up and told him there are other fish in the sea, but it didn't work" said Tree.

"Yeah, sharks and whales too" said Cloud trying to be helpful, but failing.

"So, do you think he is going emo again?" Crow asked

"No, this is something different. He's becoming an emotionless machine, a robot Naruto. There is something more going on here. I will go talk to him and downgrade him into a human again" said Nanashi as he got up to look for Naruto.

_Hokage Monument _

After meeting with everyone, Naruto walked to the top of the Hokage Monument to clear his head. There he sat and entered his mindscape and stared at the sky in his mind.

"**Hey kit, so you got dumped. Get over it**" said Kurama.

"I didn't get dumped, because we weren't dating. Are you trying cheer me up?" Naruto asked.

"**Well your depressed self is more annoying than your normal self"** Kurama stated.

"Kurama is right you really need to get over whatever is bugging you and talking about it will help so tell Kurama nii-san (big brother) and Mugen no Sora nee-san (big sister) all about it" said Mugen no Sora who appeared to be a blue-haired, blue eyed teenage girl in a black kimono with white flower decorations.

"**Nii-san?"** Kurama asked, staring at Mugen no Sora.

"Would you prefer okasan (mother)" Mugen responded.

"**Nii-san it is"** Kurama quickly said.

"You really should talk about what's upsetting you" said Nanashi appearing in his mind.

"How did you enter my mind?" Naruto asked.

"A trick I learned while experimenting with the Nise no Genjitsu style or magic, whichever one you prefer. Anyway, are you that upset that you got dumped or is there more to it than that?" asked Nanashi.

"I not upset about the fact that she dumped me, because we weren't dating so therefore she didn't dump me. It's what she said to me that is upsetting me. She practically told me to do everyone a favor and die, telling me to die or go away like the villagers do when they call me monster or demon and stare at me eyes full of hate or fear like they have all my life because they think I'm the fox. I hate it and grow tired of it. I'm tired of being angry, tired of being alone, and mostly tired of not having any friends, family or anyone that cares about me. Sure I have you, Crow, Cloud and Tree but none of you are alive or human, no offence, and Jiji never has time for me. It hurts so much that I just don't want to feel anything " Naruto said with tears falling down his Face.

"**Those idiot villagers! If I could, I would grind their bones for thinking I'm a weak and pathetic human" **Kurama growled.

"This is not about you, you arrogant idiot" Mugen sighed.

"Naruto, do you know why I act as crazy as I do?" Nanashi asked him.

"Because you find it entertaining to mess with my mind" Naruto deadpanned.

"Yes, but also because I couldn't do it all the time when I was alive. When I was alive, I always acted the way I thought my family wanted me to, how I thought my friends want me to. However when I was with my hime (princess), I never acted as anything I was not, I always was my true crazy flawed pervert self around her and she never truly hated me for it, though from time to time I tended to piss her off enough to beat me to bloody pulp- which I don't regret - but I do believe she enjoyed it a little too much, that crazy sadist" Nanashi said shivering at the memory of such beating.

Naruto sweatdropped at him talking about his past.

"Where was I going with this? Oh yeah right, the thing is that after a hundred plus some years of being dead, I found out that I was the most happy when I was with her and I realized how stupid I was wasting my life pretending to be someone I was not and worrying about what others thought of me when there someone who was happy with me the way I am and I was felt the same way too. What I'm trying to tell you is- life is way too short to waste dwelling on bad things in your life. Sure there will be times when you are sad or angry; when that happens you can cry or go trash a training ground then do something incredibly stupid or fun like I always do so those negative emotions don't consume you and make you emotionally damaged, or Kami forbid, emo. Really, emos don't amount to anything Naruto-kun" Nanashi said waving his index finger.

"Okay I get it- that you are prejudice against emos- I promise that I won't dress up in black with black eyeliner and lipstick sheesh" Naruto said.

"Good that is the most important thing I can ever teach you; anyway back to what we were talking about. The thing is that pain is a part of life, especially the life of a ninja. However, you shouldn't ignore or forget about it, but learn to live with it because it is a part of who you are and how you handle it makes you who you are. Whatever you do, don't keep your heart closed, because than you might miss that someone who can drown all your sorrows with an endless amount of happiness" Nanashi said, ruffling Naruto's hair.

"So the reason you told me to find a hobby was to give me time to deal with what I'm going though?" Naruto asked while fixing his hair.

"Yes, part of it is so you have time to heal, but I also want you to find things you might like to do, you may choose to be a ninja but you can't always be a ninja twenty-four/seven. You need time to relax and be a normal person. So, you're allowed to be all sad and depressed for a few days, but by the end of the two weeks when we go back to training, I want you to have a fun hobby you like to do and be back to your crazy old self, okay?" Nanashi asked.

"Nope I won't go back to my old crazy self. Oh no, I will be crazier than before! Like you said, life is too short to worry about what others think and besides, after the way the villagers treated me, it might be fun to get back at them by messing with their heads" Naruto said with a grin.

"Ah, there is my student that I love and know" said Nanshi with a smirk.

"Well, it seems he will be okay" said Mugen.

_The Next Day on the Way to the Academy_

"Hey Ero-seishin, I've been think of what you said about finding a hobby and I came up with two but could decide between them, so I'm going to do them both: cooking and sewing. I chose cooking because as much as I like ramen, I guess I'm going to have to eat more than that and as for sewing, I kind of don't like to walk around with so many holes on my clothes. I've also been thinking of what Crow said about having mediums for Cloud and Tree, so I was thinking of making dolls…er I mean action figures for them to possess, so let's some cooking and sewing books before we head to school" Naruto said.

"Naruto wants to study with books, it the apocalypse AHHHHH!" Nanashi screamed.

"Shut up!" Naruto stared at him.

"Sorry, anyway that's okay. You don't have to have only one hobby. You can have as many as you want. If you like, I can teach you some break dancing moves that you can integrate into your taijutsu" Nanashi said.

"Huh, I thought you said we're not doing any training for two weeks?" Naruto asked.

"We're not, but that does not mean that the things we learn outside of ninja training can't be used when we are being ninja and the same can be said about the thing we learn inside of ninja training, those skills are not limited to ninja tasks only. The first taijutsu style follows the same principle, which is what skills you learn in life can be used in your fighting style, but we'll go more in depth when we come to it" Nanashi said.

"Okay. I could try it to see if it's fun or not. Hey, can you guys also teach me something new?" Naruto asked.

"I'm good at music" Cloud said.

"And I can make some music instruments when you need some and give you gardening tips since you are helping me fill the world with plants" Tree added.

"I was a prankster when I was alive, so I can teach you my prankster art- like different ways to make stink bombs" Crow said.

"Yeah, those sound fun especially Crow's idea. I'm going to try them all!" Naruto said.

"Alright, see you guys after school while I go do my hobby of studying the female body" Nanashi said as he separated from them.

"That's not a hobby, it's is a crime" muttered Naruto.

_At the academy _

Naruto was sitting down in his seat reading a cookbook he purchased and looking through it to see what food looked good to make when he saw other people in the classroom staring at him.

"What?" Naruto asked everyone.

"Naruto, is that you?" Iruka asked.

"Yes" answered a confused Naruto.

"And you are reading a book of your own freewill?" Iruka asked again.

"Yes" answered a still confused Naruto.

"OH MY KAMI! IT IS THE APOCALYPSE" Screamed Iruka.

Naruto sweatdropped as everyone began to whisper.

"I think you broke him with what you said to him last time Sakura" Ino said as Sakura nodded in agreement.

"Oh come on! It's not that big of a deal" Naruto groaned.

"Don't worry Naruto, everything will be alright, ANBU" Iruka said.

"What wrong?" the two masked ANBU replied as they showed up.

"It's Naruto he reading a book" said Iruka.

"It's the apocalypse" both ANBU said.

"Seriously?" Naruto groaned.

"Don't worry Uzumaki-san. We will take you to the Hokage and he will figure out what's wrong" said one of the ANBU.

"Fine, but you gotta carry me, I don't feel like running all the way there. I just got to class" said Naruto.

"You want us to carry you like a little child" the ANBU asked with a sweatdrop.

"Yes please" Nartuo replied.

The ANBU picked up Naruto and headed toward the Hokage tower.

"What seems to be the problem here" The Third asked.

"Uzumaki-san was reading a book in class" one of ANBU replied.

"It is the apocalypse" said a paled Hokage.

"You too, Ojiisan…" Naruto sighed.

"Naruto, are you okay?" asked a concerned Hokage.

"Yes. I was reading this book because I wanted to learn how to cook. Now since I was taken out of class to meet you and if you don't have anything else to talk to me about, I think I'll skip class for the rest of the day" Naruto said.

"Okay, it seem like you are well enough and Iruka won't expect you back in class today anyway" said the Hokage

"Great, now, ANBU carry me outside" Naruto asked with puppy dog eyes. He just couldn't help it. Piggyback riding ANBU was just so fun!

Everyone sweatdropped at that, then one of the ANBU carried him out and so began Naruto's day of hobby exploring.

_In the Forest of Death_

"You know coming here for so long and making friends with the forest crittesr made this place a nice place to be, anyway since class got cut short for me, let's start with my music lesson Cloud" Naruto said.

"**Hehe it was funny how you freaked everyone by pretending to read a book" **said Kurama in his mind.

"I wasn't pretending" Naruto replied.

"**It is the apocalypse"** Kurama said in fright.

"Oh, don't you start too" said Naruto.

"So what instrument do want learn to play: flute, violin, guitar, drum or I can you help you with your vocals if you want to learn how to sing" said Cloud excitedly.

"Hmm you know what, I will just use Kage Bunshin no Jutsu to learn it all and start a one man band if this ninja thing doesn't work out and I can also start on my other hobbies too" said Naruto as he make clones and Tree made his instrument.

"Here are the first instruments, I used some plant substance to substitute for the string because we don't have the real thing and I used some earth jutsu to shape the ore for some of the drum part" said Tree.

"Okay, me and some of my clones will stay a practice while one will follow you to look for place to start a garden and another will have Crow teach him some pranks" said Naruto.

_A few hours later_

"So how was my first try?" Naruto asked.

"Okay, but you still need a lot more practice to be able to perform for others" said Cloud.

"You friend is right, though you're not bad for a beginner" Said a female voice.

Naruto turned around and saw a little girl with brown hair and amber eyes.

"Hi, you're dead right?" Naruto asked.

"Naru-kun has no tact, he is a tactless master" Cloud said happily.

"That he is and you right I am a ghost, my name is Uta and I heard from others that you can help me move on to the afterlife" said Uta.

"So what is it that is keeping you bound here?" Naruto asked.

"Well when I was alive I always had to stay inside and never got out of my bed because of my illness and it was that illness that took my life, but I always liked to sing and everyone told me how beautiful my voice was, however due to my illness I never fulfilled my dream of being a performer" Uta said.

"So if you perform for a concert of some sort you can more on" said Naruto.

"Yes" she replied.

"Okay, once I get better a playing these instruments, then I will set up a concert for you" said Naruto with a smile.

"Thank you, I will practice too until then" she said as she left.

_Elsewhere in the Forest of Death_

Naruto's clone and Tree were in a large meadow surrounded by a wall of trees except one spot where the trees bend to make a small opening for them to go through.

"This place is amazing not only can we have garden here, but it can be a secrete base to hang out in" Naruto's clone said.

"Yes this place is ideal for that, this will be where one of our gardens will be at, anyway have you decided what to plant yet, Naruto-sama?" asked Tree.

"Well, a lot of different fruits and vegetables to eat would be good" the clone said to him.

"That's good, and we might add some more fruits tree around here, also you should plant some herbs which help to make medicines or poisons" Tree added.

"That's a good idea, you should head back now and I will show the original this place" said the clone as he is dispelled himself.

_With another clone and Crow_

"I will give the original some books on sealing and tips that will be useful for pranks but until than let me tell you about stink bombs" said Crow.

"What is there to tell? It explodes and makes everything smelly" said Naruto's clone.

"Ah that where you wrong. There is more to it than that. You have to consider many factors, like the size of the explosion, stink duration, and level of stink- also how adding certain substances will affect it" said Crow.

"Wow, teach me, teach me" said the clone.

"Okay" said Crow as he began the lecture.

_With Nanashi_

"So the kid freaked out his classmates and teacher by reading a book and got a half day huh? I'm so proud" said Nanashi, smiling with anime tears.

Suddenly he felt a familiar malevolent force emitting form the Forest of Death.

"So he is here now and is near the kid, I have to get there fast" he said as he raced to the forest.

_Back in the Forest of Death with Naruto_

Crow and Tree were coming back to meet up with Naruto and Cloud as they were still practicing.

"Hey guys, let's take a break and go find Ero-seishin so I can get something to eat" said Naruto.

As they were walking away a malevolent force appeared next to them.

"My, my, my, what lovely souls we have here" said an ogre like being with horns and sharp teeth, behind him were a bunch of people chained up with empty eyes.

"Who or what the hell are you, creep?" Naruto asked.

"He's u-g-l-y and he's got no alibi" Cloud said.

"A lost sideshow attraction?" Crow pondered

"A plastic surgery that went bad" Tree added.

"Do you dare insult me?!" growled the ogre-like being.

"Yes" they all answered.

"I was going to enslave all of you, but now I am going to eat you all!" he said as he launched at them only to be stopped by Nanashi's katana.

"Hey guys, looks like I made it in time. Anyway, stay back and let me handle this" Nanashi said.

"You know this guy?" Naruto asked.

"Yes, he is Lord Oni the jerk that killed me and kidnapped my princess, Hikari-hime, the guy I've been searching for 100 years to defeat in order to get her back" Nanashi said.

"Lord Oni, what a lame name" Naruto said.

"I know, right? Anyway, this is my fight, so let me handle this" Nanashi said.

"You insolent fool! I will kill you" said Lord Oni.

"I don't think so Seishin o Kowasu Mono Kowareta Chen (Spirit Breaker Broken Chain)" Nanashi said as the chain that bound the people behind him broke. Afterward, Lord Oni began to weaken and turn human-like.

"No! What have you done! My souls…" Lord Oni cry.

"Now to end this! Shinigami no Jotaijo (Invitation of the grim reaper)" Nanashi said as gate formed and a grim reaper appeared.

"Hey, Crow how are you? Your girl misses you" said the reaper.

"I'm fine Bob, been looking after this kid. Anyway, tell her I miss her and said hi for me" said Crow.

"Okay, well I got to go back to dragging souls to the afterlife" Bob said as he dragged Lord Oni's soul to hell.

"That was anti-climactic. Why couldn't you take him down the first time?" Naruto asked.

"Well he kind of killed us by accidently by setting off the bombs he tried to threaten us with and once we were dead he enslaved Hikari-hime and gained power from her, which is the only thing he's good at. Then after that, we only met three times. The first he ranted on and on about his evil plan until my brain shut down and once I got it to start again he ran away, the second time he just ran away when I pulled out by kickass katana and lastly now when I finally defeated him" said Nanashi.

"That sucks" was Naruto response.

"I know. Hikari-hime, I finally free you and we can be together forever" said Nanashi as he ran toward a beautiful woman with white hair and sliver eyed in a blue dress.

"Nanashi , I miss you so much" said Hikari as she hugged him than began to beat the afterlife out of him.

"What took you so long?! It's been over a hundred years, you idiot!" Hikari said with fury as she continued to beat him.

"Sorry, there were quest item to collect and minibosses to defeat" Nanashi pleaded.

"Don't you lie to me" she said as he got bloodied even though he was a ghost.

"Okay, okay I am Nanashi and I am…" Nanashi began but got cut off with a punch to the face.

"Don't start the Pervert Anonymous thing again. Go find help somewhere else, but I am glad to see you again" she sighed as she stopped beating him to a bloody mess.

"Wow, this has more action than the fight with Lord Oni" Naruto said.

"Um hi, who are you?' she asked.

"I am Naruto Uzumaki. That perverted idiot's apprentice and these are my friends Crow, Cloud and Tree. Nice to meet you" Naruto replied.

"Hi, my name is Hikari. Did the pervert corrupt you yet?" she asked.

"No" Naruto replied.

"Good. I will keep it that way" Hikari said.

"What? But he's my student and I have to teach him my ways" Nanashi replied weakly, from the ground.

"No you won't, if you don't want the pain, that is" Hikira said back to him.

"I'll be good" Nanashi said.

After two weeks of training free days, it was back to training as we see the gang hanging around a row of fences with a paintbrush and paint can.

"So, we're finally back to training, Naruto-kun. Now, I will teach you the fighting style of the Shaolin monks, I will teach you Shaolin Kung Fu" said Nanashi.

"I doubt you know anything about monkhood considering how perverted you are" Naruto deadpanned.

"Yes, I didn't know much about Shaolin Kung Fu when I was alive, until I was trained by a friend who was a monk. I was also trained by a dead Shaolin monk and from what I learned they fight with staffs really well, so this will help you wield the Mugen no Sora. Anyway, let's start your training by painting all of these fences" said Nanashi.

"How will painting fences help me learn Shaolin Kung Fu?" Naruto asked.

"Remember when I told you that the things you learn in ninja training can be used to do things outside of your ninja life and vice versa?" Nanashi asked and Naruto nodded yes.

"Well, Kung Fu applies to it too. I want you to not just paint the fence, but do it a certain way. When you are painting the fence, I want you stand a certain way, hold the paint can a certain way and move the paintbrush a certain way. The way you stand and hold the can will help with your form and paint movement will help with the way your strike your opponent. I want you to do it until you get in that stance and do your movement by instinct. Using what you do in your everyday life then using it in your fighting style will make that form come easily to you" Nanashi said.

"Okay, like this?" Naruto asked as he got into the stance Nanashi showed him and began to paint the way he showed him too.

"Yes, Daniel-san listens to Mr. Miyagi and you will go far, now Mr. Miyagi will have some fun while you paint as many fences you can for today" said Nanashi.

"Oh no you don't! You stay here or take me to places that I want to see and not go off peeking" Hikari said.

"Fine, sheesh. Anyway Naruto, fence painting is not the only way we train. I will find other methods and once you get them down you can spar to see how well you've learned them" Nanashi said.

Unknown to them an ANBU was watching him who was worried that is was a prank and reported it to the Hokage.

"Hokage-sama, Naruto is painting some fences" the ANBU told the Hokage.

"What? Naruto is? Is it graffiti?" the Hokage asked.

"Well actually no, he's just painting them for reason we don't know, we think it is some sort of prank Hokage-sama" said the ANBU.

The Hokage pull out his handy dandy crystal ball to see what Naruto was doing and saw, just as the ANBU said, Naruto coating an old flaking fence with a new coat of paint.

"This is troublesome indeed" said the Hokage.

Just than Mighty Guy burst in the room.

"YOSH, I completed the mission you assigned me" Guy said then he saw what the ANBU and Hokage were looking at and saw Naruto paint the fence.

"Hmm, what's a youthful kid doing using one of stances of the ancient Shaolin warrior monks" Guy said.

"Stance?" the Hokage asked.

"YOSH, the way he is standing and moving his arm can only be that of the Shaolin Kung Fu style, though not many know it, so who ever teaching him knows it well" Guy said.

"Hmm, thank you Guy for giving us insight on this" the Hokage said.

This strange behavior of Naruto was not the only Naruto related incident that was brought to the Hokage that day, however.

_The next incident_

"Hokage-sama, Naruto is dancing out in the street" said the ANBU.

"And the problem is?" the Hokage asked.

"Well, I thought I should report it. Also if I might say, he is quite good" said the ANBU.

"Thank for your report, but I don't think it is anything to worry about" the Hokage said.

_Then there was…_

"Hokage-sama, Naruto is staging a performance in the city center" said the ANBU.

"I don't see the problem here" the Hokage said.

"No problem here, it just I thought you might want to see it. His singing is very good" the ANBU said.

_After that_

"Hokage-sama, Naruto…" the ANBU started to say.

"What did Naruto do this time" asked the Hokage as he cut him off.

"Well, he made some fudge and told me to bring some for you" the ANBU told him.

They both took a bite out of the fudge and then start crying anime tears.

"This is a piece of heaven" said the ANBU in total bliss.

"This is better than Icha-Icha book series" said the Hokage as he began to fall into a food coma.

_Then there was _

The Hokage stared at the ANBU.

The ANBU look back.

They stare at each other for a few minutes.

"So, have you anything to report involving Naruto doing something strange" said the Hokage.

"Nope. Well, he was seen carrying two buckets of water attached to a pole on his back and climbing up the Hokage monument where he seemed to start a secret garden there that only he can enter, but compared to what he's done lately, it doesn't seem so important" said the ANBU.

"Okay well, I'll just go back to my paperwork then" the Hokage said, glaring at his most hated enemy- paperwork.

_Back to Naruto and the others_

"Wow, this month has been eventful" said Naruto.

"Yeah, and your skills are coming along quite nicely" Nanashi said.

"Really? I've been training really hard to be a great ninja" Naruto said.

"Huh, ninja? Oh right, your ninja training. Your skills in that are decent. They could be better, but they're decent" Nanashi said.

"Couldn't give the kid a break could you, you idiot" Hikari said.

"Ero-seishin is being a meanie calling my ninja skills decent. I mean come on, I learned that I can gain my allies special ability by soul linking with them…" Naruto said in his corner of woe.

"Yeah it was cool and stuff when we found out that you have the Mokuton (Wood Style) so long as you were soul linked with Tree but it's not awesome enough to surpass me" Nanashi said.

"Jerk" Naruto muttered.

"It's time like this that I'm glad you are not a father" Hikari said.

"Oh come on, you know you want to have a mini me running around calling you momma" said Nanashi.

"Shut up" Hikari said while blushing.

"So kid, what're you doing today since you don't have class?" Nanashi asked.

"Well, I was going to send some clones to do some pranks while establishing my alibi by working on making the medium for Cloud and Tree at the Hokage's office, since my sealing and sewing skills are good enough to make them. Then, tonight is the night of the concert in the forest that I set up for Uta-chan" Naruto replied.

_At the Hokage's office_

"Yo, Ojiisan! I've come to hang out with you since I haven't seen you in a while, so I'm going stay here and be working on some stuff" Naruto said.

"Okay Naruto, I could use the company" the Hokage said.

Hours later an ANBU burst into the office.

"Hokage-sama, there are reports of pranks all across the village, it must be Naruto. We have to find him" said the ANBU.

"Okay. Found him" said the Hokage as he pointed toward Naruto.

"Yo, ANBU-san" Naruto said rising his right hand to greet him.

"How long have you been here?" the ANBU asked.

"Since 10 A.M. this morning" Naruto replied.

Then suddenly a bunch of the villagers and ninjas burst in.

"Stink bomb"

"Water balloon"

"Clothes disappearing"

"Rabbit doing the moonwalk"

"Demon brat"

Were some of the words coming out of their mouths.

"Look at what happened! This is the demon brat's doing" said one of the villagers.

"Hey ANBU-san, can I borrow your kunai for a second?" Naruto asked while deciding if the dancing rabbit might have been a little overkill.

They all turned to look at Naruto wondering how long he had been there as the ANBU give him his kunai. Then Naruto made a small cut on his figure and bled some into the container, mixing it with the ink inside, which shocked most of the people there.

"Naruto, what are you doing?" the Hokage asked.

"Mixing my blood with some ink here" Nartuo said as he finished mixing it and started drawing symbols on the inside of the dolls he made.

"I can see that but why?" the Hokage replied.

"Blood is an important ingredient used for sealing" Naruto responded while finishing the last symbol and he began sewing the dolls and stuffing them with cotton and small stones.

"Sealing? I didn't know you know how to do that. Naruto, that is amazing! So, what does the seal that you're making right now do?" the Hokage asked.

"It will either give me a friend that I can play with because no one wants to be friends with me or summon some powerful dragon that I have to aid in its quest to save the world; considering how cool dragons are I'm shooting for that" Naruto said as he continued his work.

Everyone sweatdropped at that thinking that it was something he was willing to do. Just then another ANBU burst inside.

"Someone just now unleashed a stink bomb and it burns" the ANBU said running around in pain.

"I didn't do it because I've been here the whole time; all of you've seen me too" said Naruto, finishing his work while thinking that stink bomb 32 was a success.

Then, Naruto channeled chakra into the dolls and when Tree and Cloud touched the doll that looked exactly like them, they began to possess them as the dolls eye went from dull to full of life and began to move.

"Yeah, I'm alive now! We can play hide and seek with Naru-kun" Cloud said, shocking everyone.

"Um, we did that before" said Tree.

"Tag" said Cloud.

"Done it" repled Tree.

"Play ping-pong?" asked Cloud.

"We can do that, but we have to find a table, net and paddles" said Tree.

"If you have nothing more to say you can leave now" said the Hokage, addressing the crowd of ninja and villagers.

"So what does the seal truly do Naruto?" the Hokage asked as everyone was gone now.

"It gives my familiars a physical body to possess" Naruto replied.

"That's truly amazing Naruto. Now if only you knew a seal to deal with paperwork" the Hokage sighed.

"Well I don't know about a seal but there is the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu that I just used it to pull off those pranks " said Naruto.

The Hokage stared at Naruto for a few minutes then face palmed. After a thank yous and not a few grateful anime tears, he said ""Thank you Naruto with your help with the dread paperwork. If there is anything I can help you with let me know."

"Well, you can forget that I mentioned that I did those pranks and also help with my staff technique, since I heard you are skilled at that" was Naruto's reply.

"Done" the Hokage said and made some Kage Bunshin to do paper work while he went off to train Naruto.

_On the Way to the Forest of Death_

Naruto was walking to the Forest of Death when he felt some was following him with the Shinigami no Okurimono.

"Okay, I know you there. Why are you following me?" Naruto shouted to the mystery person.

A girl with dark blue hair, fair skin, and white eyes with a tint of lavender stepped out. Naruto recognized her as Hinata Hyuga from his class.

"I-I-I'm s-sorry N-Naruto-kun" Hinata stuttered.

"So why are you following me Hinata-chan?" Naruto asked as Hinata blushed at him adding chan to her name.

"Um I-I-I was w-worried about y-you b-because y-you have been a-acting s-strange lately" Hinata said.

"So you've been stalking me?" Naruto asked.

"NO! I-I have um been o-observing you f-from a-afar" she said.

"What's the difference?" Naruto asked.

"Stalkers take your things for their collection, but someone observing from a far doesn't Naruto-sama" Tree said.

"Have you taken and stuff from me like Tree said?" Naruto asked.

"No" Hinata replied.

"Okay, you're not a stalker. Wait. Did you say you worried about me?" Naruto asked.

"Yes" Hinata replied, blushing.

"Does that mean you care about me?" Naruto asked.

"Y-Yes" Hinata replied, blushing harder.

"Yes! Thank you Kami! I finally have a friend who's human and alive!" Naruto cried anime tears as he hugged Hinata who fainted on contact.

"Oh no, she fainted! Is she sick or something? I have to do something! I don't want to lose a friend that I just made" Naruto said, panicking.

"Wow, I think Naru-Kun is really dense" Cloud said as Hinata regained consciousness.

"I-I'm o-okay N-Naruto-kun" Hinata said as she began to wake up.

"Okay, hey I'm doing a concert in the forest. Want to come?" Naruto asked.

"Yes!" she replied excitedly.

"Okay, but you have to keep it a secret on what you will see, I will explain about that later, but if you want to come you have promise to keep it a secret" Naruto said.

"Okay N-Naruto-kun" said Hinata.

_In the Forest of Death _

They came to the meadow that Naruto and Tree found that became their secret base. The field was full of animals of the forest, ghosts, and spirits of all kind.

"Welcome to my secret base. Okay, the thing is- I can see and communicate with spirits and ghosts and this concert I set up is to help a ghost cross over. I am about to activate a seal so you can see and hear the spirit within this meadow, but don't worry because they can't harm you, okay?" Naruto said.

"O-Okay and b-by the way this p-place is b-beautiful" Hinata replied while blushing from being with Naruto.

"Thanks" Naruto said as he activated the seals and Hinata saw all the ghosts and spirits appear.

"And this, Hinata-chan, is Uta-chan. She's the ghost I am helping today and performing with. Uta-chan ,this is my new friend Hinata-chan" said Naruto

"Hello" they greeted each other.

"**Hey Naruto, how have you been?" **the Shinigami greeted him.

"Shinigami-sama, what are you doing here?" Naruto asked.

"S-S-Shinigami!" Hinata cried.

"Yeah the Shinigami. He's the reason I can see ghosts and spirits. I also work part time for him, but don't worry. I don't think he's here for your soul" Naruto said.

"**No I'm not here for her soul. I'm here because of you Naruto"** the Shinigami said.

"WHAT! I thought that it was not my time until a long time from now!" Naruto said.

"**Calm down, I'm not here for that yet. Besides, you're not even dying. I am allowing two souls to visit their home village, Konoha, in exchange for training you from time to time when they are not busy looking around. Since you want to be Hokage and what Crow told me about what you can do when you soul link with Tree, who better to train you than the Frist Hokage Hashirama Senju and the Second Hokage Tobirama Senju"** said the Shinigami.

"Hello Uzumaki-san and friends. We have heard great things about you" said the Frist

"Yes, we hope we can help you in any way we can" said the Second.

"I-It'd nice to m-meet y-yourboth" Hinata said with a bow.

"Yeah, it is nice to meet you old guys again" Crow said.

"Wood-guy and Water-guy it's nice to meet you" Cloud replied cheerfully.

"You may have created the forest around here but we forest sprites own the whole forest" Tree said with pride.

"You guys are older than Ojiisanm but you don't have any winkles" Naruto said.

Hinata was shocked at the way they talked to the former Hokages.

"Ha ha, I guess Sarutobi's age is catching up to him" the Frist said.

"**Anyway Naruto, keep up the good work. Our little project is coming along but there still some fine tuning to do. Now, go start your show because I haven't see one in a while. Afterward, I will take Uta's soul to heaven myself since I'm already here"** the Shinigami said.

"Yeah, we should get started Naruto-kun" said Uta.

"Okay. Hinata-chan, can you hold onto Crow for me and sit next to Hikari-chan? Hikari-chan and Crow-kun, make sure Ero-seishin doesn't do anything to mess up the show" Naruto said.

"Why would you think that I would do anything?" Nanashi asked innocently.

"Because you are a perverted idiot" Naruto, Hikari, Crow, Cloud, and Tree said together.

"You guys are all meanies" Nanashi said in his corner of woe, crying anime tears.

Naruto, Cloud, Tree, and Uta got on stage and began their performance as Hinata and the other looked in awe at the beauty of their voices and song. Their performance lasted into the night and the song was heard throughout the forest. Those villagers and ninja alike near the forest heard the alluring music and for those brave enough venter into the forest for the source of the sound only turned back when they got near enough to see spirits of all kind surrounding the area that the music attract them to. They ran off never see who the performers were. Thus, this event started the rumors of a haunted forest and the legend of the spirits of the forest playing music.

Omake:

~The True Incident of the Flying Monkey~

_Market place_

Naruto and the gang were walking around the market vendors when they all stopped by a stand to look at some bananas.

"Bananas, huh? I think I can make some smoothiea or milkshakea with them" Naruto stated.

"They are good quality, Naruto-sama" said Tree.

"Hey, you're not welcome here, demon brat!" said the fruit vender.

"But I just want to buy some bananas" Naruto said.

"No bananas for you" said the banana Nazi.

"But…" Naruto started.

"I said no bananas for you" he said as he began to pelt Naruto with rocks.

Naruto ran away from the crazy fruit vendor and his stand.

"We have to get him back for what he did to me. Any ideas?" Naruto asked.

"Flying monkey" Nanashi said.

"Flying monkey?" Naruto asked.

"FLYING MONKEY" Cloud cheers loudly.

"Flying monkey" Tree agreed.

"Definitely flying monkey" Crow confirm.

"Where will we get flying monkeys?" Naruto asked.

"Forest of Death. They have all kinds of creature" said Nanashi.

"Yeah, there are even colonies of Kung Fu squirrels" Tree said.

_At the Den of the Flying Monkey_

Naruto and friend stood in front of the council of flying monkeys.

"What do you want human?" one of the flying monkey said in its language.

"Well, I wanted some bananas but some jerk vender wouldn't sell me any and threw rocks at me" Naruto said.

All of the flying monkeys gasped.

"Denying anyone of the goodness of a banana is the highest crime for us, not only will we give you the justice you deserve but also the bananas that you should have gotten" said the flying monkey.

"Great, can you also get meet some other fruit? I want to make some smoothies and milkshakes" Naruto said.

"Only if you give us some too" the flying monkey said.

"Deal" Naruto repled.

The next day the banana Nazi (vender) was horribly maimed by flying monkeys and his fruit was stolen from him while Naruto and friends were having a smoothie and milkshake party with a bunch of flying monkeys.

A/N: So long and goodnight or morning or afternoon depending on the time. Sayonara no Jutsu


	5. Chapter 5 The Path of a Ninja Began by T

Path of a Ninja Arc:

Chapter 5~The Path of a Ninja Began by Taking the Frist Step and a Thousand Face Fault ~

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me or other random reference so don't sue me

A/N: Sorry for the long update, been busy and have some writer block. The next chapter will be a new arc. I know I have some grammatical error in my story and am trying my best to keep them to minimum. When I have time I will try to fix pervious chapter error. Also I looking for a beta reader to help me with it so if anyone want to be my beta for my story PM or contact me.

"normal Speech"

'thoughts'

**Demon and other uber being**

Different language 

_Secret Base inside the Forest of Death _

A 11 year old Naruto, who is in his final year of attending the academy, and the gang where enjoying their day off.

"Naruto-kun, why are you reading that book?" Hikari ask in a sweet but threating tone as she saw Naruto reading an Icha Icha Paradise book.

"After Ero-seishin give me the traumatic version of 'The Talk', which you end up beating him up for and then give me the safe version, he thought that since he partly corrupted me with that then he might just as well as corrupt me all the way by having me read this" Naruto said.

"It is a true work of art for all of mankind to experience" Nanashi said with anime tears.

"The writer is a god among men" Crow, The Frist and Second Hokage said together, which prompt Hikari to give all four of them a thrashing of a lifetime.

"It's low-rate smut" Naruto said.

"BLASPHEMY" Nanashi, Crow, The Frist and Second Hokage shouted weakly from the ground.

"Sure the scenes are very descriptive and the story has a lot of emotion in it but there no character development and the plot is lacking. I could write a better novel than this, no I will write a better novel than this so no one will have to read this crime against literature" Naruto said with a spot light on him.

"I'm so proud, my pupil is writing smut and porn" Nanashi said with tears in his eye again.

"I'm doing no such thing as I told you I will not end up being a pervert, I already have the problem of being surrounded by them I will not turn into one of them" Naruto said.

"Join us, become one of us, one of us, one of us…" Nanashi, Crow, The Frist and Second Hokage said zombie-like unlike Hikari began to beat them up again.

"**Am I interrupting something here?"** the Shinigami ask.

"No just idiot being idiot" Hikari said as she continues to thrashes them.

"**Right, anyway I done with molding a body for Kurama now all you have to do Naruto is to separate Kurama's chakra from him so when you use it the next time, it doesn't influence you and then I can put a new seal on you. You know how dangerous this is and if you failed you will die however if you want to turn back now would be the only time you can but if you do you won't get another chance ever"** the Shinigami said.

"I know it is dangerous but this is something I have to do so I'm going to do it" Naruto said.

"And we will help you, we're not going to let you do this alone" Nanashi said and the other nodded in agreement.

"**Okay Shinigami no tamashi no shoheki (Death God Soul Barrier), this barrier will be taken down once you complete what you're supposed to do but if you failed it will drag you and Kurama to the world hereafter, let get started"** said the Shinigami as they enter Naruto's mind.

_Naruto Mindscape_

"Wow kid I know you are stupid but there're more empty space in here than I thought" Nanashi said.

"Be nice" Hikari said as she slaps Nanashi in the back of his head.

"**The first thing you have to do Naruto is go through this door to face and defeat the darkness in your heart alone, you can't face Kurama until you do this"** said the Shinigami as he pointed to the door behind.

"Naruto remember what I told you about pain don't ignore nor forget about it but learn to live with it because it is a part of you and make you who you are" Nanashi said.

Naruto nodded and walk through the door. Inside what he saw all around him was a ruin city with broken and collapse buildings. Sitting on top of one of the ruining structure was another version of him with black eye and red pupil.

"Well, well, well look who came to visit, it nice to finally meet myself" said Yami Naruto (Dark Naruto).

"So you're the darkness is my heart. You know I thought you would be more symbolic, with black hair and wearing inverted color clothes to mine but not this" Naruto said.

"Yeah, yeah I'm the darkness in your heart and it is foolish to think that you can defeat me because you won't" Yami Nartuto said as he charge at Naruto.

"Well I won't know until I try" Naruto said back and charge at him too.

Naruto began by using Muay Thai style that Nanashi taught him for close combat and started off with a jab however Yami Naruto end using the same style against him did a jab too as both their fists hit each other faces. Then both use a knee strike to the stomach follow by an elbow slash and finish off with a roundhouse kick.

"Ha ha ha I told you that you can't defeat me because I know your every move" said Yami Naruto.

"And like I said I won't know until I try" said Naruto as he call out Mugen no Soar in scythe mode.

"Oh, then prove me wrong" Yami Naruto said as he pull out Mugen no Soar too, but it was pure white instead of black with red chakra blade instead of blue.

"Don't worry I will" Naruto said as he slash horizontal with his scythe to be block by Yami's own scythe.

"You will fall, you will lose because you are weak" Yami said as he continues to trade blow with Naruto.

"I am not weak, Futon: Kaze Surasshu (Wind Style: Wind Slash)" Naruto reply slashing his scythe creating crescent shape wind attack to cut Yami but he cancel it with the same attack.

"Yes you are, you're too weak to face your fear, too weak to face the truth that you are running away from" Yami said as he jumps up in the air to do a vertical slash.

"And what would that be?" Naruto ask as he blocks the last attack.

"That you are the monster that everyone said you are because deep down inside you want them to bleed the same bloods that they made you bleed, cry the same tears that they made you cry, and suffer the same pain that they made you suffer" said Yami as he rush in to do a diagonal slash to cut Naruto but this time he didn't block nor move but took the attack head on.

"You're right, deep down in my heart I truly do feel that way. I buried those feeling because I am so afraid to face that part of me, for if I do I will have to acknowledge it and then those who hate and spite me would have won and I would have to admitted that I lose to them, lose to the hated, and lose to the sorrow and pain. I wasn't strong enough to face neither my problems nor the pain inside so I lost faith in myself and became weak while you stay strong for bear it and for that I thank you as well as apologize that I was unable to do anything for you. But now it is time for me to step up and stop runaway from who I am, so let face the world together as one to become the greatest ninja in history. We can do this because we are Naruto Uzumaki the most epic and awesome ninja who will be a kickass Hokage" Naruto said as he hug is dark side.

"So you were able to defeat me huh, thank you for accepting me and please don't ever forget about me" Yami Naruto whisper as he merges with Naruto.

"I won't because you are part of me now so you will always be there for me" Naruto said as he steps outside to join up with everyone.

_Outside with Everyone_

"It looks like you defeat your dark side Naruto" Nanashi said.

"More like embrace it than defeat it" Naruto said.

"So did you get the dark side famous grandma's homemade cookies?" Nanashi ask.

"Yes and I ate them all and didn't give you any, but it not like it matter because you can't eat at all" Naruto said sarcastically.

"It is cruel to mention that I can't, I was never that mean to you" Nanashi said with anime tears.

"Yes you were" Naruto deadpanned.

"**Ah Naruto it seem that you conquer your dark side now you can face Kurama but before that there are some thing you should know and people you should meet"** the Shinigami said.

"I guess I will go first" Crow said.

"What do you mean?" Naruto ask.

"When we first met I told you that I will tell you my real name and why I am helping you out, so here it goes my name is Obito Uchiha" Crow now Obito said changing from a bird form to a male with short black spikey hair and dark eye.

"Uchiha huh, any relation to Sasuke-teme?" Naruto ask.

"I'm his cousin and to way I'm helping you it because I was one of your father student and he help me out a lot when I was alive, so to make it up to him I ask the Shinigami to become a reaper to help you" Obito said.

"So you know who my father is, who is he?" Naruto ask.

"Not only your father but your mother too, but instead of telling you who they are why don't you meets them" Obito said as two people appear behind him.

There stood a woman with fair skin, blue eyes and long red hair and next to her stood a man with bright blue eye and spiky blond hair who Naruto recognize as the Yondaime Hokage.

"Mom?" Naruto ask the woman who nodded yes to him.

"So where dad I only see mom and the Yondamie?" Naruto ask.

"Well I'm your dad, Naruto, the Yondamie Hokage also known as Minato Nimikaze and this is your lovely mother Kushina Uzumaki" the Yondamie said.

"WHAT MY DAD IS THE FOURTH HOKAGE" Naruto yell.

"Yes Naruto" Minato reply.

"Dad" Naruto said with tear in his eye.

"Naruto" Minato said with tear in his eye too.

"Dad" Naruto said.

"Naruto" Minato said.

"YOU IDIOT!" Nartuo yell as he elbowed his father in the stomach sending him flying backward.

"I guess you're anger that I seal the Nine-tail in you right" Minato said weakly from the ground with blood coming out of his mouth.

"Yeah but with that we are now even" Naruto said.

"Told you he would be piss, anyway Naruto it is nice to meet you, you grow up so much we're really proud of you" Kushina said.

"Mom I wanted to meet you for so long and there so much I wanted to tell you" Naruto said.

"I know but let deal with the fox first before we catch up" Kushina said.

"**Okay you guys do that while I keep a look out outside"** the Shinigami said.

_In Front of Kurama Cage_

"**So kit you finally came to face me"** Kurama said staring down at Naruto.

"Yes Kurama nii-san" Naruto said.

"**I wish you wouldn't call me nii-san but it look like that won't change, anyway it is foolish to face me because you can't hope to defeat me"** Kurama said.

"You know Yami me said the same thing when I face him but unlike then I won't be doing this alone like last time" Naruto said.

"Yeah you damn dirty fox, now face the awesomeness of Nanashi" Nanashi said.

"Ignoring that idiot there we are here to help Naruto-kun" Hikari said.

"Sorry Kurama Onii-chan we have you outnumber here" Mugen no Sora said.

"**I wish all of you would stop that it's not like we're a family or anything"** Kurama said.

"But we could be Fox-kun, anyhow let have some fun!" Cloud said.

"We're not here to have fun we're here to help Naruto-sama, Cloud-kun" Tree said.

"That right you over grown fox" Obito said.

"Long times no see Kurama" said Hashirama

"I can't believe you face something like that brother" said Tobirama.

**"The First and Second Hokage have grace me with their present"** Kurama said sarcastically.

"Don't forget about us furball" Kushina said.

"Look like we get a chance to have our rematch" Minato said.

"**What a reunion we have here, so many people to die at my hand"** Kurama said.

"You know I'm the only one here that is really alive therefore the only one who can really die, anyway let get started you guys either bind him or distract him so I can take his chakra" Naruto said as he pull off the seal and release Kurama.

"Chakurachen (Chakra Chains)" Kushina said binding Kurama.

"Mokuton Hijutsu: Jukai Kotan (Secret Wood Style: Nativity of a World of Trees)" Hashirama and Tree said together to trap Kurama in a forest of trees.

"Suiton: Suiryudan no Jutsu (Water Style: Water Dragon Bullet Technique)" Tobirama and Hikari said together to knock down Kurama.

"Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu (Fire Style: Great Fireball Technique)" Obito said to keep Kurama down.

"Futon: Kaze-ju no Hoko (Wind Style: Wind Beast Roar)" Cloud and Mugen no Sora said together to power up the fireball.

"Nise no Genjitsu: Tobu e no Sen no Buto no Jutsu (False Reality: A Thousand Boot to the Head Technique)" Nanashi said summoning a thousand boot to assault Kurama's face.

"Only you would attack a giant powerful demon with shoe wear" Naruto deadpanned.

"Yep it is really funny to do" Nanashi said with a smile.

"Rasengan, Naruto go take his chakra now" Minato said as Naruto jump in and began to pull Kurama chakra from him.

"**Ha ha ha you think you can take my chakra just like that well let see how you handle it along with my hatred"** Kurama said as red chakra began to take over Naruto.

"Look like now is the best time to test out that new technique" Naruto said try to prevent hated from taking over.

_Flashback _

"Well Naruto since you master a few jutsus in Nise no Genjitsu, Fune o Noroi, and Seishin o Kowasu Mono styles of your Shinigami no Okurimonon bloodline now I can teach you about the fourth style" Nanashi told Naruto.

"WHAT! There're really four style and you choose now to tell me about it" Naruto said.

"The fourth style is not really a style by itself it is a combination of two of the three styles or all three of them together so it can affect the mind and body, mind and soul, body and soul, or mind, body and soul at the same time. This style is called Danketsu no Tamashi (Unity Soul)" Nanashi said.

"Cool what can the Shinigami no Okurimonon bloodline not do?" Naruto wonders.

"It can't set the clock on your VCR among other things" Nanashi reply back.

'Good thing I found a DVD player from the 'Chamber of Not So Lost Technology from Alternative Universe' (C.N.S.L.T.A.U) although I still don't know how to use it any better than the VCR I found at the same place' Naruto thought.

_End Flashback_

"Danketsu no Tamashi: Shin no Ketsugo (Unity Soul: True Bond) with this our mind, body and soul shall be link and become one" Naruto said as a pure white chain appear out of his heart and connect to Kurama, once the chain link to each other Naruto experiences all of Kurama memories and Kurama experiences all of Naruto memories.

"Your hated is stronger than mine Kurama and from what I see of your past I can understand why however I can't let it consume me, I won't let it consume me because I have thing I want to accomplish and people to protect. It may not be much and there not a lot of people who believe in me but it's enough reason for me, that way I won't lose here" Naruto said as the hated stop consuming him and disappear and then Naruto pull the rest of Kurama chakra from him.

"Now that we're working together let be friend and have lot of good memory" Naruto said as the new seal, the Torii Seal, form to hold the fox.

"**Sure why not idiot, it could be worst"** Kurama said.

"Good job Naruto" Kushina said.

"Yeah son, now that we have time in here until you wake let catch up" Minato said.

For hours until Naruto woke up he told his parent about his life and they told him about their.

_Outside Naruto Mindscape during that Time_

The Third Hokage was reading his Icha Icha Paradise book, while his troops, the shadow clones, were battling the eternal enemy paperwork when he felt the Fox's chakra surge. He called for the ANBU and then they head toward the forest to where Naruto was. Once there the Third and the ANBU saw the Fox red chakra taking over Naruto. When they try to get close to do something to stop it they end up being stop by a barrier.

"Why is this happening what causing it?" the Hokage ask.

"**Look like we have some guest here"** the Shinigami said appearing in front of them.

"Who are you and what you doing here?" the Hokage ask.

"**I'm the Shinigami and am here because of the kid. Naruto right now just unlock the seal in order to battle and take the Nine-Tail's chakra away from him so that the kid can take control of the Fox's chakra without having the Fox influencing him when he use it"** the Shinigami said which put the ANBUs on guard.

"HE DID WHAT!" the Hokage scream.

"**Just what I said anyway you don't have to worry about the fox getting unleash because either the kid does it and the Fox is still cage or he fail and die which give him and the Fox a one way ticket to the afterlife"** said the Shinigami.

"Did you say he will die if he fails?" the Hokage ask.

"**Yes his life is something you should worry about"** the Shinigami said.

"We have to stop this" the Hokage said.

"**Can't once it start there no way to stop it unless you want him to die now"** the Shingami said.

"Is there anything we can do to help?" the Hokage ask.

"**Only one thing, we can pray"** the Shinigami said

"Pray" the Hokage said.

"**Yes pray, now have some hope and wait for it to be done"** the Shinigami said.

Everyone was watching and waiting, they saw the Fox red chakra continue to taking over Naruto when it stop halfway and then the red chakra began to disappear. After that the barrier was gone and Naruto collapse. The Shinigami move next to Naruto and place a new seal over the one he have.

"**That should do it he will be okay once he wake up. Well I done for now, I will talk to him later so see you guys hopeful not to soon or you be going to the afterlife"** the Shinigami said as he left.

Then the Hokage took Naruto and head back to the village with the ANBU. After a few hours Naruto woke up and saw the Shinigami, the third Hokage, the Cat ANBU and the undead gang in the room with him.

"Hey Ojiisan" Naruto said.

"Naruto how are you and the seal?" the Third ask.

" I'm fine and the Fox is still seal in me but now I can access his chakra anytime I want without going berserk and can let him out but he will be under my control so there nothing to worry about" Naruto said.

"That good" the Third said relief that both Naruto was okay and the fox is not out destroying the village.

"**It seem that everything turn out okay but there one thing you should know the new seal kind of did something to your bloodline"** the Shinigami said.

"What happen?" Naruto ask really worry which cause a thunder to appear in the background and the Hokage and ANBU in the room to see the spirits there and where shock to meet the ghost of the Frist, Second and Fourth Hokage.

"**Well from what you see here your bloodline got an upgrade, when you experience extreme emotion it cause other to see spirits around you and cause Nise no Genjitsu to create an illusion to reflect that extreme emotion"** the Shinigami said.

"Um what is the advantage of these new abilities?" Naruto ask.

"**None what so ever, not every ability of a bloodline or a bloodline for that matter is useful. Hell there bloodline that keep your hair forever messy, grow your pinky finger an inch long and even a bloodline that tell the type and color of underwear the female gender is wearing"** the Shinigami said.

"A bloodline that tell the type and color of underwear the female gender is wearing what a glories power" Hokages One to Four, the Cat ANBU, Nanashi and Obito said which cause to Hikari and Kushina to beat up the pervert spirits in the room and send dead glare at the living pervert.

"**Now with that said everything else you don't understand Obito can help you, so I be going now and let you explain what happen to your Third Hokage"** the Shinigami said.

"Do you every stick around to do your job properly?" Naruto ask.

"**Not when I can leave it to someone else"** the Shinigami said.

"Lazy God of Death" Naruto mutters.

**"Hey I do anything to make my job easy for me, oh yeah I almost forgot Kurama new body that he will use to explore the outside world is hilarious"** the Shinigami said as he left

"**DAMN YOU SHINIGAMI YOU TURN ME INTO A FREAKIN CHIBI" **Kurama yell in Naruto head.

_Academy_

It was the day before the graduation exam Naruto was in class trying to stay awake when an ANBU burst in.

"Iruka-san you have to help us capture Naruto, he defaces the Hokage monument" said ANBU with the eagle mask.

"Yo Eagle-san did you bring me a treat?" Naruto ask from his seat.

"No, how long have you been here?" eagle ANBU ask.

"Since the beginning of class" Naruto said innocently.

"Naruto have you been using Kage no Bunshin to pull off prank again?" Iruka ask.

"No there no way a deadlast like me can perform such a jutsu" Naruto said in unconvincing tone while looking away from Iruka.

"Oh really, so are you saying that I didn't catch you using Kage no Bunshin last week and the week before and then the week after that?" Iruka ask staring at Naruto.

'Damn I forgot about that' Naruto thought.

"I plead the fifth" Naruto said.

"I want you to clean off the paint after school, now since graduation is tomorrow let review the Henge no Jutsu (Transform Technique)" Iruka sigh as everyone groan.

"This is all your faults Naruto" said one of his classmates.

"That where you are wrong there, it was my clone not me that pull the prank" Naruto retort.

"That may be true however since you made the Kage no Bunshin that pulled the prank you are an accomplices therefore making you at fault as the clone" Shino said.

"Point, curse you Shino and your logic" Naruto said.

"Next, Uzumaki Naruto" Iruka said.

"Henge" Naruto said as he transform into a nude girl with two ponytail surround by smoke that cover certain private part that cause Iruka to fall back with a nosebleed.

"NARUTO YOU DUMBASS DON'T INVENT STUPID SKILLS" Iruka yell with big head no jutsu.

"My Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Technique) is not stupid, consider that the fact that most male ninja are pervert this move can knock them out and give me time to kill or humiliate them, depending if they are friend or foe" Naruto said.

Iruka eye twitch in response.

"Iruka-sensei you eye are twitching you should have that check out" Naruto said.

After Naruto finish his community service of cleaning paint off of the Hokage monument Iruka took him to get some ramen at Ichiraku.

"Naruto how comes you vandalize the Hokage monument?" Iruka ask.

"Yeah Naruto what purpose did you have to do that to our handsome mug?" Ask the Frist, Second and Fourth Hokage's ghost.

"As the self-proclaim prankster king of Konoha is my special way of showing my respect to them besides I made them look pretty" Naruto answer as Teuchi, Iruka and the Hokages sweatdrop at that.

"Tomorrow is you third time taking the exam, so are you going to stop pretending to fail?" Iruka ask.

"I have no ideas what you're talking about" Naruto lied.

"Naruto I'm you teacher and I know you long enough to know when you are fail the class on purpose but I don't know why" Iruka said.

"For two reason, one your enemy tend to underestimate you if they think you're weak and being deadlast is a way to hid your true strength, secondly because the villager tend to treat me less harshly if they think I'm a dobe" Naruto said.

"You really shouldn't have to deal with thing like that Naruto" Iruka sighed.

"Don't worry I prove them wrong and gain their respect when I become Hokage. And for the test tomorrow as long as I don't have to do the Bunshin no Jutsu or find a way to fake it I can pass" Naruto said.

"So you can't do the Bunshin no Jutsu?" Iruka ask with concern.

"So the Bunshin no Jutsu will be on tomorrow test" Naruto sigh.

Iruka nodded yes.

"Damn, no I can't do it because I have damn too much chakra that I overload the jutsu the best I could do is to make one Bunshin which barely last a few second. I could use Kage no Bunshin but they are solid and not intangible like the regular kind, wait I haave my bloodline which I could use the Nise no Genjutsu to fake the Bunshin no Jutsu" Naruto said.

"You have a bloodline and what do you mean fake the Bunshin no Jutsu?" Iruka ask.

"Um it a secret but if you promise me I won't fail if I fake the Bunshin no Jutsu I can tell you" Naruto said.

"Depend on what I hear" Iruka said.

"Fine, with my bloodline I can create an illusion of my own design however it not like genjutsu because I can make any damage inflict on an opponent by the illusion real if I do a certain thing and it can't be dispel by Kai" Naruto said.

"So you going to fake the Bunshin no Jutsu by using this ability of your to make illusion of yourself" Iruka said.

"Yep so can I pass by doing that" Naruto ask.

"Hmm well you would be making clone of yourself and they are intangible because they are illusion so technically it the same as Bunshin no Jutsu so yes but you will also be test on other subject that you need to pass too in order to graduate" Iruka said.

"Yeah, yeah I know don't worry I will surprise everyone with my amazing skill tomorrow.

_The Next Day_

'Yawn' "Today is the day that I start my path as a ninja" Naruto said rubbing his eyes.

"You should have gone to bed early yesterday Naruto-sama" Tree said.

"I couldn't sleep too nervous about do the test" Naruto said.

"Don't worry son you father was the same way" Kushina said.

"So were you, you should of seen what she did" Minato said.

"And what did I do honey" Kushina said with a fake smile and tick mark.

"Nothing my red hair goddess" Minato said.

"Could you guys not flirt in front of me right now I don't need to be sick before the test even started" Naruto said.

"Sorry" said his parent blushing.

"Naruto for the hundred times promise me that you burn that orange jacket soon" Nanashi said.

"Hey orange is a cool color but I know this bright orange color is not good for being a ninja so I will be wear the new clothes I made when I made genin also I think I might go through a cosplay phase" Naruto said.

"I didn't think you were into cross dressing" Nanashi said.

"I will be dress as male character I'm not a trap you jerk" Naruto said.

_Academy Written Exam_

Naruto was looking at his ghost family and friend for help.

"Sorry Naruto we know you hate written test but this is something you have to do by yourself" they said.

"Mugen, Kurama help me" he said to them in his mind.

"Sorry we never need to read or write anything so we can't help you" Mugen said.

"**Tough luck kit"** Kurama said.

'Stupid writing test what does this have to do with being a ninja, I just have to do my best' Naruto thought.

_Ninja Tool Exam_

"Uzumaki Naruto" Iruka said.

"…"

"Naruto…?" Iruka said.

"…"

Naruto was asleep standing up blowing a snot bubble.

"NARUTO WAKE UP" Iruka yelled.

"AH!" Naruto scream wake up throwing 10 shuriken and 10 kunai on instinct hitting a perfect bull's-eye on all of the dummies and targets.

Everyone blink not believing what they saw.

"Um was I supposed to go next?" Naruto ask scratching the back of his head.

"Yes, you were supposed to hit the targets with ten shuriken and ten kunai and get graded on how well you hit them" Iruka said.

"Well since I end up hitting the target even if I was not awake does that sill count" Naruto said.

"Sure let just move on" Iruka said.

_Taijutsu Test_

"Okay Naruto don't worry I will go easy on you" Mizuki said with false kindness and a fake smile.

"Okay Mizuki-sensei" Naruto reply but thought 'Idiot with the Shinigami no Okurimono I know that you really hate me. I also know that you sabotage me in class every chance you get, so go ahead and go easy on me as much as you want but I going to make you pay for what you did to me jerk'.

Mizuki and Naruto got into their fighting stance, Mizuki in the acdemdy style and Naruto in Muay Thai, and then they charge at each other. Muzuik was about to strike but Naruto dodge and did an elbow strike to the stomach follow by a knee strike, then a uppercut and end it with an axe kick to the face. After all those combination Miuzik was swaying badly.

"**FINISH HIM!"** said a voice cause by Naruto's Nise no Genjitsu due the adrenaline rush of the battle freaking everyone there making them look around for the source of it.

Naruto tabbing into his inner furry causing a tiger corporeal to forms around him and unleash a powerful jab at Mizuki painfully knocking him out.

"**FLAWLESS VICTORY"** the voice said again.

_Genjutsu Test_

Skip due to lack of interest in the subject even though it is an important part aspect of being a ninja, for them by having it on the written test was enough. As for Naruto he was glad that there was one less test he have to performs in epically a subject he suck at.

_Ninjutsu Test_

"Okay Naruto once you make three Bunshin you will get your hitai-ate and pass" Iruka said.

"Okay Bunshin no Jutsu" Naruto said while whispering "Nise no Genjitsu: Jiko no Guntai, Jikan 3 (False Reality: army of self, time 3)" And three intangible clone appear.

"Good you pass here you hatai-ate, I'm proud of you" Iruak said giving Naruto his new hatai-ate to put on his head.

Suddenly one of Naruto clone's eye turn dark with red pupil. The other had a book in his hand and then he pull out his glasses and put them on. And lastly the last one shrinks to the size of a small kid with large blue eye.

"Yo we meet again" said the dark eye Naruto.

"Yami?" Naruto ask.

"Yep, the guy with the glasses is Brainy Naruto and the little one is Chibi Naruto" Yami Naruto said.

"Salutation Naruto prime" Brainy said.

"Yeah I'm free, now I'm a bird 'whoosh'" Chibi said running around with his hand stretch out.

"Er what is going on here?" Naruto ask.

"As you know when you cast a jutsu you put in a bit of your soul or essence in it which has unforeseen effects. The combinations of this phenomenon, your Shinigami no Okurimonon and the jutsu you use seem to cause your clones to develop a psyche that reflect an extreme aspect of your own personality" Brainy said while pushing his glasses up.

"Huh? Big word, don't understand" Naruto said.

"Us clone are different version of yourself like your smart self or dark self and this happen because you did something special. Brainy here is the smart side of you that understand a lot of thing and is really nerdy. Chibi here is the cute version of yourself that have a very serious case of ADHD and infinite amount of energy. And I am the dark, badass, antihero version of you" Yami said.

"Oh okay, hey wait can I use my Kage Bunshin no Jutsu in a way to do the same thing?" Naruto ask.

"It quite possible if you work at it, why you ask?" Brainy ask.

"An army of Chibi me plus near infinite energy plus ADHD plus sugar high equal utter chaos and mass destruction mwha hahaha" Naruto said with the sky turning dark and lighting flashing behind him.

"Should we worry that with my genius mind he come up with things scarier than anything that an evil mad scientist can come up with" Brainy ask.

"Nah he just having fun" Yami said.

"Um Naruto what are you laughing so evil about and are your clones talking with themselves?" a frighten Iruka ask.

"Yeah they are talking with themselves and to what I was laughing at, it was about a new jutsu I was thinking of coming up with" Naruto said.

"Something tells me that it is best for me if I don't know about it" Iruka said.

"You probably be more sane if you don't know what I am planning" Naruto said.

"Okay then" Iruka reply.

"Hey Naruto you should dispel us before your classmate get a cuteness overload from Chibi" Yami said.

"Kawaii, even if it is the dobe this clone of his is so adorable" said the female students.

"Must hug it" Hinata said.

"Yep Chibi is a powerful weapon" Naruto said.

_After school_

Naruto was sitting on his swing wait for the other.

"Hey that kid became a ninja" said one of the adult there to pick up their kid.

"What why would they let him become one since he is…" said another.

"Shh we can't talk about it" someone said.

"Hey son we glad that you pass, come on let go and celebrate with everyone" Minato said coming up to Naruto with the rest of spirit gang.

After some distance away from school Mizuki show up limping, still injury from the fight with Naruto.

"Hey Naruto there something important that I have to tell you, it seems that since your grade was so low that you can't be a ninja yet" Mizuki said.

"What is that really true?" Naruto ask look sad at the news.

"No Naruto it not true, he is lying" Minato said.

"What the hell is the bastard doing if he trying to hurt my son I'm going to kill him" Kushina said.

"Yes unfortunately it is true but there a way around it, you have to do a special test in order for your grade to be over look" Mizuki said.

"What do I have to do?" Naruto ask.

"You have to take the Scroll of Sealing and learn a jutsu form the scroll, there a storage warehouse in the wood where you can practice at" Mizuki said.

"Okay I'm going to head out now" Naruto said.

'Ha stupid demon brat' Mizuki thought.

"Naruto he was lying to you if you do this you will get in trouble" Minato said some distance away.

"I know" said Naruto.

"So I guess you have something plan" Nanashi said.

"Nope I pretty much making it up as I go along" Naruto said.

"You really should think ahead from time to time son" Minato said.

"So what do we do next?" Nanashi ask.

"Go to the Scroll of Sealing and wait for Ojiisan and ask him what to do" Naruto said.

_At the Hokage Tower_

"Let see what it say about the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, basic information that I already know like getting the clone memory and stuff, Shuriken Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shuriken Shadow Clone Technique) that will be useful to have, huh no way Bunshin Daibakuha (Shadow Clone Explosion) I will definitely have fun with this" Naruto said.

"Naru-kun goes boom, boom, boom" Cloud cheered.

"So clone any other techniques that look good" Naruto ask.

"There Kuchiyose: Edo Tensei (Summoning: Impure World Resurrection) that resurrect the dead, it something we don't want to do but is good to know about in case we need to stop such jutsu. We definitely don't want to fight an army of zombie do we" Clone number 6 said.

"No we don't, how about the rest of you guys" Naruto said.

"Nothing interesting" most of the clone said.

"Wait there Yoso no Ryu no Kami no Kokoro (Divine Heart of the Element Dragon) you use your element to create a powerful dragon to cause mass destruction" Clone pi said.

"Okay learn that jutsu" Naruto said.

"Naruto what are you doing here?" ask the Third.

"Oh Ojiisan you finally got here, well Mizuki was planning to betray the village by tricking me to steal the Scroll of Sealing for him, but I figure out what he is planning and waiting here to tell you about it however it took you too long to get here and I got bored so I decide to see if there any jutsu I can learn from the scroll until you got here. So what should we do about Mizuki?" Naruto ask.

"Naruto those are Kinjutsus and they are forbidden for a reason and other should not be using it carelessly" the Hokage said.

"I only look through the scroll to learn more about Kage Bunshin no Jutsu which I already master and jutsu related to it. Other than that the jutsus I learn from scroll are Yoso no Ryu no Kami no Kokoro and Kuchiyose: Edo Tensei, the Yoso no Ryu no Kami no Kokoro technique because it looks really cool as for the Kuchiyose: Edo Tensei I learned that not to use it but to stop it because I don't want to deal with the legion of the undead" Naruto said.

"I will never understand you irrational hatred of zombie anyhow I don't see anything wrong with what you learn, you have enough chakra to use the Yoso no Ryu no Kami no Kokoro multiply time as long as you use it in an wide open area because it has a large area effect other than that I don't see a problem unless…Naruto?" the Third said starting at Naruto.

"Yes" Naruto said.

"Did you learn about the Bunshin Daibakuha?" the Third ask.

"Yes" Naruto said innocently.

"Naruto" said the Third.

"I promise to use it only on enemy and on training ground and I won't use for pranks or on allies or to scare the civilians to leave me alone" Naruto said.

"Good, now back to Mizuki, I betting that you come here so I can send some ANBU to follow you while you take a fake scroll with you to catch him in the act right" the Third said.

"Well I was planning on tell you so you can send some ANBU to get him by themselves but you way sound really fun for me so let do it that way" Naruto said and made a clone to transform into the scroll.

'I shouldn't have given him that idea but now he hear it I can't change it oh well I just let him enjoy himself' thought the Third.

"ANBU" the Third said.

"Yes Hokage-sama" said two loyal ANBU.

"You heard what Naruto said help him to stop Mizuki" the Third.

"Yes Hokage-sama we will aid Naruto-san in stopping the traitor" said the ANBU.

_In the Woods_

"Damn it what taking him so long I'm getting bored…oh no why is he coming here, oh well I guess this is the best time to do this Obito can you get them" Naruto said.

A few minute later Iruka show up.

"I've found you Naruto" Iruka said.

"Hey Iruka-sensei tonight is a nice night for a walk huh" Naruto said.

"Naruto why did you steal the Scroll of Sealing, you will get into a lot of trouble" Iruka said.

"Hmm how can I explain this to you" Natuor said.

Then he felt the present of Mizuki.

"Oh I know Futon: Kaze no Shoheki (Wind Style: Wind Barrier)" Naruto said blocking the barrage of kunai.

"Mizuki, I see so you behind this" Iruka said.

"Naruto, give me the scroll" Mizuki said.

"No Naruto don't" Iruaka said.

"Okay here Mizuki" Naruto said giving him the scroll.

"What? Why Naruto, did you know what you just did?" Iruka ask.

"Yes, yes I do, Bunshin Daibakuha" Naruto said as the scroll explode sending Mizuki crashing to the ground.

"That wasn't the real scroll of sealing was it?" Iruka ask.

"Nope it still back in the Hokage Tower" Naruto said.

"And this is a set up to catch Mizuki for betraying the village right" Iruka said.

"Yep, there two ANBU around waiting to strike at the right moment" Naruto said.

'Damn the demon I will make him pay, I know I will tell him about it' thought Mizuki.

"Hey Naruto why are you helping the village considering the fact…" Mizuki said.

"No don't you can't Mizuki" Iruka said.

"Huh what are you guys talking about?" Naruto ask.

"That you are the demon fox" Mizuki said with an evil grin.

"What I am not Kurama there no way that I'm as cynical and egotist as him. Also he really doesn't like it when people say that he and 'the weak blond hairless monkey', which he called me, are the same being. Here let me show you how much he hates it Kurama no Mon: Reberu 1 Ririsu (Gate of Kurama: Level 1 Release)" Naruto said as door appear and Kurama in chibi fox with one tail step out.

"**Oh you have no idea how much that piss me off"** Kurama said causing Mizuki to wet himself in fear.

"Naruto d-dd-did you just summon the Nine-Tail Fox?" Iruka ask.

"Yes but don't worry Iruka-sensei he only at one tail and can't do anything without me permission, and Kurama will one tail be enough to take him down?" Naruto ask.

"**Yes it won't take much to beat this noob"** Kurama said.

"Good Kitsune no Kage Bunshin no Jutsu(Fox Shadow Clone Technique), now I want him alive to get information out of him so no killing but horribly maim is allow" Naruto said as a dozen Kurama appear.

"**Alright this going to be fun"** Kurama said.

"But before that I want you to apologize for what you did to Iruka's parent" Naruto lecture.

"**But it wasn't my fault"** Kurama whimper.

"Kurama" Naruto said sternly.

"**Fine I sorry that you parents were kills Iruka-san even though it was not my fault that someone put me in a genjutsu"** Kurama said.

"Okay now you can go wild" Naruto said.

"**Yes"** Kurama said as he went to maim Mizuki.

"Did the Kyuubi just apologize to me for killing my parent?" Iruka ask.

"Yes" Naruto reply.

"And he said he did it because someone put him under a Genjutsu right?" Iruka ask.

"Yep" Naruto reply.

"No one is going to every believe that this happen right?" Iruka ask.

"Right" Naruto reply again.

"Hey Naruto I really sorry that I wasn't able to help you out much I know what it is like growing up without parent, it is lonely and painful especially the way how most of the villager treat you" Iruka said.

"It alright I know you care a lot about me and you the first teacher to teach me that actually treat me like a person and was nice to me" Naruto said.

"Hey Naruto I brought them here" Obito said.

"In fact because you are so nice to me there something I want to show you" Naruto said.

"What is it" Iruka said.

"Well I have a Kekkei Genkai that let me see spirit and there two spirits here that want to meet you so I going to use my Kekkei Genkai to let you see them Danketsu no Tamashi: Shea no Okurimono (Unity Soul: Share Gift)" Naruto said using his jutsu on Iruka causing them to see the ghosts there.

"Mom, Dad it that really you and Yondaime-sama" Iruka ask.

"Yes son it us" Iruka's Dad said.

"Thank for giving us this opportunity to talk with our son before we move on Naruto-san" Iruka's Mom said.

"Yes, thank you for this Naruto" Iruka said.

"No problem" Naruto said.

"Yeah me and my wife, Kushina are here to also thank you for taking of our son" Minato said.

"No problem…wait Naruto is your son?" said a shock Iruka.

"Yep Naruto-chan here is our cute little son and we thank you for keeping him out of trouble and to continue to do so when we move on" Kushina said.

"Mom! Parent are really embarrassing sometime, anyway they are my parent and it keep a secret so keep me safe from dad enemy but I trust you enough that you won't tell anyone to keep me safe" Naruto said.

"Thank for trust me too Naruto" Iruka said.

After some time later when Iruka was finish talking with his parents.

"Take care of yourself now son and you too Naruto-san, also know we always be watching over you both" Iruka's mom said.

"We are proud of you Iruka and Naruto since you and Iruka are like brother you are now a part of our family now, so make us proud too" Iruka's dad said as both of them move on to the afterlife.

"I will goodbye Iruka's parents" Naruto said.

"I love you guys, goodbye mom and dad" Iruka said.

Then the ANBU that was with them came out.

"Oh right you guys are here to deal with Mizuki I almost forgot about him" Naruto said.

"Right" the two ANBU said.

"Umm can you keep you guys keep my ghost whispering ability and the conversation we have with them a secret, the Hokage knows about my ability and told me that I should try and not tell people about it yet" Naruto said.

"We shall report this incident to the Hokage in private and if he said to keep it a secret we will, you have nothing to worry about Naruto-san" one of the ANBU said with the other one agreeing.

"Thank" Naruto said.

"Now back to problem at hand, did you just let the Kyuubi out to maul Mizuki?" the ANBU ask.

"Yes but he can't do anything without my said so" Naruto said.

"So you have the fox under your control?" one of the ANBU asks.

"Petty much" Naruto said.

"Man no one going to believe what happens here" said the ANBU

"Yeah I know" said the other ANBU.

"Naruto how long have you been able to do this" Iruka ask.

"For some months now after I took his chakra away from him during the forest incident" Naruto said.

"Wait so the surge of chakra back then was you taking control of the fox" the ANBU said.

"Yep, so any other question?" Naruto replied.

"Umm it using the fox a little extreme" Iruka ask.

"Maybe but if I let Kurama do this he be happy enough to forget about being village destroying trigger-happy" Naruto said.

"Well since you put it that way…" the frist ANBU said.

"And Mizuki is a traitor…" the other ANBU said.

"I guess…" Iruak said.

"We can live with that" the three said together.

"Okay, hey Kurama time to get back so back into the seal okay" Naruto said.

"**Okay, we should this more often"** Kurama said.

Then the group headed back with a bleeding Mizuki with them. When they got to the Hokage there was a group of ninja with them.

"There he is get him" said one of the ninja as he went to grab Naruto.

The ANBU that caught Mizuki block them to keep Naruto safe.

"No, Naruto-san was under order to expose the traitor Mizuki, so he did nothing wrong" said the ANBU.

"That quite right, it seems that it was a success but I wonder how did Mizuki get all of those injuries" the Hokage ask.

The ANBU look at each other.

"Well it kind of a funny story but I think it something to be told in private" the ANBU said.

"Well in that case let got to my office to hear your report and Naruto since you complete your mission you can go home and rest up also your pay will be put in your fund" the Third said.

"Okay" said a tired Naruto.

Omake:

~Saga of the Orange Prankster, Trickster: Fun with ANBU~

_Hokage Tower_

"Okay soldiers what is the plan for our latest prank" Naruto said to the gang in front of the Hokage's desk.

"Naruto why are you planning to causes mischief right in front of me for?" the Hokage deadpanned.

"Since I will become Hokage someday this office will be mine eventually so I need to get the feel of making battle plan in here. Now back to pranking any ideas guys" Naruto said.

"We haven't visit the ANBU headquarter in while to have fun" Cloud said.

"WHAT! You guys broke into the ANBU headquarter" the Hokage said.

"Yeah last time we were there was to give Bird-san our special chocolate fudge cake for his birthday" Tree said ignoring the Hokage comment.

The ANBUs there were drooling at the memory of the cake not caring that Naruto broke into their high security headquarter.

"Oh Cat-chan birthday is in a few week and she like strawberry so we have to make her some strawberry short cake for her" Naruto said.

"Yes Uzumaki special cakes" the ANBUs cheered.

"Is his cake that good" the Hokage ask.

"It like eating a piece of heaven" an ANBU said.

"Hey there a new ANBU rookie that just joins, let test out his skill" Naruto said with a foxy grin.

_The next day with say rookie ANBU_

The rookie just got in and put on his uniform when he saw a letter address to him.

_Dear Rookie-san _

_Channel charka into the seal_

_From, _

_Orange Prankster, Trickster_

The rookie did so cautiously.

"Hello Rookie-san there some seal attach to your uniform and uniforms of your fellow ANBUs. Now we are going to play a game and if you win the seal will come off with no problem however if you deicide not to play or lose the seal will activate and there will be an explosive surprise and the ANBU force will go down" Naruto said in a distorted voice out of the seal.

"What the hell you bastard why are you doing this" the rookie said.

"Oh I doing this because I'm bored, now for you first task I want you to grope the breast of the five most violent female ANBU and then run like hell when you done that contact me again you have five minute to do it or else" Naruto said.

"Bastard" the rookie said and went to do his task.

_Back at the Hokage Tower_

"Naruto you did not really put explosive tags on the ANBU uniforms did you" Hokage ask.

"Don't worry I won't do anything that will get the ANBU force kill, as for what I actually did we have to wait and see" Naruto said.

_Back with the Rookie_

He just escape being beat up by five anger female ANBU.

"Okay I done it" the rookies said.

"Okay next I want you to go to the town center and sing "I'm Too Sexy" by English trio Right Said Fred while stripping down to your boxer. After that go running around the village in your boxer two times and then contact me when you reach the gate of the village you have two hours" Naruto said.

"Damn" said the rookie as he did that and got a few number from the female population.

"Okay next I want you to moon at twenty different location you have an hour and half" Naruto said.

After a few more embarrassing tasks later.

"Okay for you last task I want you to steal an article of clothing from someone using the hidden kunoichi hot spring the location of it is on the paper in your right pocket you have three hour" Naruto said.

"How did you get the paper in my pocket" the rookie said.

"That for me to know and you to not" Naruto said.

The rookie got there and was about to steal a shirt but heard foots step and panic causing him to grab someone bra. The kunoichis there saw him and beat the living hell out of him. After a few hours he came to.

"What the hell happen, I remember being at the hidden kunoichi hot spring and getting beat up but don't remember how I got here or the location of the hot spring" the rookie said.

"Oh I forgot to mention that pervert visiting the hot spring tend forget the location due to getting beat up to the point that it cause selective memory loss" Naruto said.

"Then how do you remember the location?" the rookie ask.

"I'm not a pervert and the pervert (Nanashi) that I got the location from is no longer living" Naruto said.

"So I could have ended up dead" the rookie asks.

"Yes you can count yourself lucky that you live through that but since you fail I have active the seal" Naruto said activating all of the seals.

Once activated there were was an 'explosion' of confetti and every male uniforms turn into a pink lace dress and the female were wearing exotic bikini as the ANBU reputation went 'down'. For the rookie a scroll drop down and said the following:

_Overall grade: A-_

_Stealth: B+_

_Speed: A_

_Combat: B _

_Skill: A_

_Prize: Some fudge brownie for being my first test subject and you get to pick three ANBU players by the end of the week for next month prank contest_

When the rookie finishes reading the scroll he fainted from exhaustion.

_At the Hokage Tower_

"Hey Naruto since you will be doing this every month why don't we count it as a S mission because it deal with the village security and at the same time you are train the ANBU. Now I can't pay you for the mission yet because you are not a ninja yet but I can start a trust fund that will be out as a bonus when you get pay for being a ninja" the Third said.

"Okay that will help me in the future but I wish we're not in a recession right now because they have to cut some money from my orphan check" Naruto said.

"We not in a recession Naruto" the Third said.

"Well someone has to tell them that" Naruto said.

"Oh someone will I make sure of that" the Third said with a dark aura.

A/N: T-TT-That all folk Sayonara no Jutsu


	6. Chapter 6 On the Path of Life You Will F

Path of a Ninja Arc:

Chapter 6~On the Path of Life You Will Find Kakashi Wandering Aimlessly~

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me or other random reference

A/N: I finally find time to do the story, been busy with final and now it is summer so have more time to work on it. Anyway I thought this chapter will be the start of a new arc but it is not yet. Also in this chapter the character Mokona from Clamps work such as Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle, xxxHolic and Magic Knight Rayearth will be join in the Naruto cast in the story but this is still a Naruto fanfic and not a crossover. I include Mokona in the story because he is a funny lovable character and I did it just for kicks. Mokona does not belong to me it belong to Clamp.

"normal Speech"

'thoughts'

**Demon and other uber being**

Different language 

_Naruto Apartment _

A 12 year old Naruto was celebrating with his ghost of a family and friends in his apartment.

"**Hey everyone I'm here and brought some friends to the party. Everyone, with me is Kami, Lord of Hell, Lady Luck, Fate and Destiny. Guys this is everyone"** the Shinigami said.

"Wow who would have thought that I would be celebrating with the most powerful supernatural beings in existence" Naruto said.

"Now that the Shinigami is here we can tell Naruto about it" Minato said.

"Tell me what?" Naruto ask.

"That there will be an evaluation to see if you are ready to be a genin or not" Obito said.

"What! Are you saying that I'm not a ninja yet then what the hell were the graduation for?" Naruto ask.

"To select those who qualify to be genin but your jonin instructor will be the one who decide if you will be a genin or not but don't worry Naruto we have faith that you will pass the evaluation" Obito said.

"Man that suck, why are you telling me this?" Naruto ask.

"Well son after you become a genin, me and your mom will be moving on to the afterlife" Minato said.

"You guys are leaving?" Naruto asked with a sad look.

"Yeah sorry, we can't stay here forever but don't worry we will meet again and beside since I summon the Shinigami to help me seal the fox I have work off my debt as grim reaper so I might see you from time to time" Minato said.

"I know but I will miss you guys" Naruto said.

"We will miss you too son" Kushina said.

"Your parents aren't the only ones that are going to go on to the afterlife me, Hikari-hime, Hashirama, and Tobirama are going to go too, we taught you everything that we can and there nothing left for us to be here for so once you become a genin we're leaving too" Nanashi said.

"I going to miss you guys so much, you all taught me, Cloud and Tree so much. Thank you" Naruto said sadly.

"We going to miss you too, now when I'm gone I want you to do something for me" Nanashi said.

"I won't follow you in your perverted ways" Naruto declared.

"It's not that and besides you will become one in time. No the thing that I what you to do is to follow three rule that I set up for you. Rule number one when someone ask you why do the thing you do you must answer 'because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of' before telling them the real reason, rule number two when you see a pervert being a perverted you said that they have 'been curse by the Ero-seishin Nanashi' and hit them with a Baka bat while saying 'now be purify' and rule number three protect those who are important to you with all you got" Nanashi said.

"Don't know why you want me to follow the first two rules but I will them all especially the last one" Naruto said.

"Because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of making dumb rules" Nanashi said.

"**Okay that enough of the sad news and let get back to celebrating Naruto graduation from the academy that we couldn't do before because of the Mizuki thing. Time to pass out gift, I go first here Naruto you grim reaper badge with it you officially work for me and can call any reaper nearby for help"** the Shinigami said giving Naruto the badge.

"**Hi Uzumaki Naruto, I give you this for being the most entertaining human in this world"** Kami said handing him a yellow pork bun shape object.

"A yellow pork bun thank" said a confuse Naruto.

"Mokona Modoki is not a pork bun Mokona Modoki is Mokona Modoki" said the yellow pork bun rabbit thing with an emerald oval stone on its forehead.

"**Mokona's kind have the ability to travel from world to world, Monkona will be staying with you because you had been chosen to be it caretaker"** Kami said.

"It seems that I been taking in a lot of strange being lately but a least it been fun, so Mokona why have I been chosen" Naruto ask.

"We Mokonas have many important jobs to do since we can travel between worlds which include transporting people from one world to another, gathering, transferring and store items, spells, skills and knowledge from one world to another. The council of Mokona wants the history and information of this world to be recoded and catalog and decide to assign me to you since we are bounded to your lineage by a contract your father made in order to get us to help him design a time and space jutsu" Mokona said.

"Mokonas? There is more than one of you guys?" Naruto asked.

"Yes I am Yellow or Blond Mokona Number 42 and all of us Mokona have 108 Secret Skills" Mokona said.

"The Mokona that help me with created Hiraishin no Jutsu (Flying Thunder God Technique) was Yellow Mokona Number 7" Minato said.

"**My turn, to the most devilish prankster in this world I grant you this charm that protect from being tainted by the evil of this world"** the Lord of Hell said.

"So you are a fan of my work?" Naruto asked.

"**Yep some of the things you do, I end up using as punishment for sinners who are sent to my domain"** the Lord of Hell said.

"Well since you such a fan I can give you a copy of my book of 101 pranks, torture and ways to drive people insane volume one that I wrote" Naruto said as he give the book to the Lord of Hell.

"**Thank this should keep me entertain for some time"** the Lord of Hell said.

"**Now for my gift I grant you my most favorite gambler my most valuable lucky charm"** said Lady Luck.

"But I'm not much of a gambler" Naruto said.

"**Well you're still adorable and still my favorite and people will be foolish to bet against you"** Lady Luck said making Naruto blush.

"**Finally our gift, we grant the one who we have the greatest hope in a charm that will grant one a long and happy life. Also we give you some advice which is whatever life throws at you, you can always choose forge your own path for a better life"** Fate and Destiny said together.

"Thank you all for the gift and for believing in me" Naruto said.

_Naruto with the Hokage Dealing with his Photo ID_

"Interesting picture you took there Naruto not only does it show you wearing your new clothes but it also have your friends in it too" the Hokage said looking at Naruto's photo which show him crossing his arm in his new outfit, which consist the same orange pants and blue sandal shoe but a new black hooded tracksuit with orange flame at the bottom and red Uzumaki swirl on the back, a dark blue t-shirt underneath it and black fingerless gloves with a metal guard, with his friends Obito in crow form on his left shoulder, Tree on his right shoulder, Cloud floating below his head and Mokona on top of his head.

"Yeah well since they are going to be with me on my ninja career I thought they should have photos ID too but because of the stupid ninja regulation they can't so I decide to have them in my photo ID" Naruto said.

"Also from the look of it, it seems like you got a new pet there" the Hokage said.

"Hi I'm Mokona Modoki and I will be working with Naruto-kun from now on" Mokona said.

"It can talk?" the Hokage asked.

"Yes Mokona can speak our language though being ninja you probably seems stranger things" Naruto said.

"Well that is true…" the Hokage began to say but was interrupted when a kid suddenly burst in.

"Old man! Fight me!" Konohamaru said as he tries to attack the Hokage but trip and fell.

"Damn it! Who trip me?" Konohamaru said as he got up and looking around.

"Honorable Grandson are you alright and also no one trip you" Ebisu said as entered the room after Konohamaru.

"I know you trip me" Konohamaru said to Naruto.

"Idiot, it your fault that you trip not me" Naruto said pulling Konohamaru by his shirt.

"Hey Naruto let go of him, he is Hokage-sama's grandson" Ebisu said.

"Go ahead and punch me" Konohamaru said thinking that Naruto wouldn't do it because he was the Hokage's grandson.

Naruto carefully put Konohamaru down then he draws out Mugen no Sora and slashes Konohamaru with it, frightening the people who saw it. They were relieved to see the he wasn't cut.

"Now that I'm mark you Nise no Genjitsu: Tobu e no Buto no Jutsu (False Reality: Boot to the Head Technique)" Naruto said causing a boot to slam into Konohamaru's face.

"Ouch" Konohamaru said rubbing his face.

"Three times, three times you could have ended up dead brat. The first was when you attack without being aware of you surrounding which cause you to trip creating an opening for your enemy. Secondly was charging at me carelessly which I admitted is something I mostly likely would do but try to not make a habit of it. And thirdly letting your guard down when you thought my attack fail, you should never let your guard down in front of the enemy. Use this as a learning experience brat and for scaring you I give you this special goggle that I design to try out to apologize. It has many function and I want you to list each function and how it can help as ninja by the end of the week or else I take them back" Naruto said handing him the goggle.

"So Ojiisan since I done here I'm going to head out" Naruto said.

"Okay Naruto" the Thrid said.

"Oh also it really not that hard to beat the old man brat, Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Technique)" Naruto said turning into a nude girl with steams surrounding him cause to the Thrid Hokage and all the male there to fall backward with a nosebleed as he walk away laughing.

_Outside_

After walking some distance away Naruto notice that Konohamaru was following him.

"Hey brat your stealth skills suck, you are using the Kakuremino no Jutsu wrong (Cloak of Invisibilty Technique) wrong and will you stop following me" Naruto sigh.

"Amazing you saw through it, I will let you be my boss if you teach me Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Technique) that defeat my grandpa" Konohamaru said.

"No" Naruto replied.

"WHAT, why?" Konohamaru asked.

"Because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of saying no in a cool way and beside you have to learn about the purpose behind the Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Technique) before you can use it" Naruto said.

"Okay teach me teach me the purpose behind that technique" Konohamaru said.

"Fine, follow me" Naruto said as he led Konohamaru to maid café that was willing to serve him after he save the owner and workers from a bunch of street gang that were trying to kidnap them to be sell as slaves and prostitutes.

"Welcome master how may I serve you today" the waitress in a maid outfit said.

"Hmm let get the 'Leaf Paradise Special' Naruto-kun" Mokona said.

"Kawii!" squeal the waitress as she cuddles Mokona.

"Something tell me that this going to happen a lot, anyway three 'Leaf Paradise Special'" Naruto said.

"Umm yes, we will have your food out soon master" the waitress said with a bow while composing herself and putting Mokona down.

"Umm boss what are we doing here?" Konohamaru asked.

"Besides getting the best food next to ramen, there a lot of beautiful woman working here that you can use as a model for that jutsu" Naruto said causing the waitresses there to blush and owner to chuckle.

"Naru-kun is going to be a lady killer when he grows up" Cloud whispered to Tree.

"He already is without knowing it to those who can see him pass the fox" Tree whispered back.

"Now this jutsu is a pervert slayer technique and you have to know the reason behind it and 'the rules' so you don't end up mark as a pervert so let began the lecture and you might want to take some notes" Naruto said handling Konohamaru a notepad and pen.

"To start off with the technique was original use as infiltration technique because there are certain places that the women can access easy that men can't and the same can be said the other way around. It became a pervert slayer technique when it is use to take advantage of the lewd minds of the vast majority male population to knock them out by nosebleed and then humiliate them with pranks when they are unconscious. So to keep yourself from being a pervert you are limited to use the jutsu only in life and death situation or to stop pervert from being perverted so you can't use it on your grandpa unless he doing something perverted" Naruto said.

"Then why did you use that jutsu on grandpa for?" Konohamaru asked.

"For three reason, one to demo my skill to you, two to show you that your grandpa is a perverted and three to pay him back for the time he got away for being a pervert that I didn't know about" Naruto replied.

"If you didn't know then how can you get back at him for it?" Konohamaru asked.

"Even if I don't know when he is doing something perverted does not means he won't now back to my lecture in order to use the jutsu effectively you must understand the mind of a women however the truth is that us men will never understand women" Naruto said and the men who hear nodded in agreement.

"Then how will I use the jutsu effectively?" Konohamaru asked.

"We men will never truly understand women we might tap the surface but never ever get to the depth of the female psyche. So now I going to tell you about 'the rules' if you ever get in troubles with the female gender and chances are that you will if you end up misusing this jutsu. Rule one woman are always right no matter what, rule two even if we should be view as equal women shall be view as something greater, rule three when you do something wrong apologize and never stop apologizing, rule four never ever, ever piss them off on purpose and rule five if you ever piss them off run like hell. You have to keep these rules in mind when deal with the opposite gender if you want to live and keep your manhood" Naruto said with the male population nodding in agreement.

"Now while we are having lunch here I want you to start off the first part of the jutsu by observing the attractive quality that each girls have" Naruto said.

After lunch they went to the woods in order for Konohamaru to work on the Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Technique), after a couple hours he got it down.

"So kid why do you want to takes down Ojiisan for anyway" Naruto asked.

"Because grandpa is the Hokage everyone see me as the Hokage's grandson and called me the Honorable Grandson and not by name, that why I want to be the Hokage and by beating grandpa I can" Konohamaru said.

"That won't work if it did I would of have the cool hat and everyone would be bowing down to me while calling me Naruto-sama by now. The Hokage title is not something that you can get that easily, you have to work hard to earn the title by becoming a strong ninja that protect everyone" Naruto said.

"I found you, now let go home Honorable Grandson" Ebisu said glaring at Naruto.

"No I'm going to defeat grandpa and become the Hokage, now take this Oiroke no Jutsu (Sexy Technique)" Konohamaru said.

"He didn't get what I said" Naruto sighed.

"What a vulgar skill! Such skill won't work on a gentleman like me, if you hang with him you become stupid, I will be your short-cut to be the Hokage" Ebisu said.

"Oh really now Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique)" Naruto said as a dozen clone appear.

"How foolish unlike Mizuki I'm an elite ninja tutor and won't be beat that easily" Ebisu said.

"Harem Jutsu" Naruto said causing Ebisu to fall backward from the force of his nosebleed.

_At the Hokage Tower_

"Naruto is going to kill me with those jutsu before I die from old age" the Thrid said.

_Back with Naruto_

"Closet pervert, anyway he has been curse by the Ero-seishin Nanashi, now be purify" Naruto said bonking Ebisu head with the baka bat.

"Damn it, why couldn't I defeat my tutor, I relly want to be Hokage" Konohamaru said.

"Like I said there no short-cut to being the Hokage you have to work hard to earn it, I should know because that my goal too" Naruto said hit his Konohamaru's head.

"If that so, then form now on we are rivals for the title of Hokage" Konohamaru said.

"Fine by me, anyway I start my first step as a ninja tomorrow so I need to go now. Someday we will fight for the title of the Hokage so until than keep training and keep getting stronger, I be waiting until then Konohamaru" Naruto said as he left.

_The Next Day _

After doing his morning training and eating breakfast Naruto headed to the Academy to find out who is on his team. He enter the classroom with Mokona on his head, Tree on his right shoulder, Cloud on his left and Obito flying behind while read a book that Mokona give him title 'Shinobi's Survival Guide for Dummies' by Rikudo Sennin, Kono Yo no Kyuseishu (Savior of the World), Shinobi no Kami (God of Shinobi), Jigen Ryoko (Dimension Traveler) and all around uber ninja. He was about to seat next to Sasuke but then pause for a moment.

"Look like you got rid of that stupid orange jumpsuit but what are you standing there for dobe?" Sasuke asked.

"Well I was thinking about sitting here, but then decide that I don't want to be your meat shield to keep your fan-girl from molesting you so I think I will seat down somewhere else" Naruto said moving away.

"They don't molest me, dobe" Sasuke growled.

"They crowded around you and then grope every inch of your body" Naruto deadpanned as he sat down next to Hinata.

"So you are Hinata-hime, Naruto-kun's friend" Mokona said.

"KAWAII" Hinata and every other girl scream at the sight of Mokona.

"Yep look like that will happen a lot with Mokona, any yes Mokona she is my cute friend Hinata-chan" Naruto said with smile causing Hinata to blush.

"Naruto-sama is there a reason why you stated that Hinata-sama is cute" Tree asks causing Hinata to blush more.

"Because she is" Naruto said with innocent smile causing Hinata to blush even more.

"And what else Naru-kun" Cloud added.

"What else is there to add" Naruto asked tilting his head.

"Never mind" Tree and Cloud said.

Just then Sasuke's fan-girl race into the classroom and since Sakura got there first she got the right to seat next to him, so she sat next to him clutching his arm.

"Told you teme and from the look of it you seems to enjoy it because you aren't using Kawarimi no Jutsu (Substitution Jutsu) to escape" Naruto said.

"DOBE" Sasuke yelled glaring at Naruto.

"What teme?" Naruto asked.

"All this time, all this time you know how I could of have gotten away from the dreaded fan-girl and you didn't tell me until now" Sasuke growled and continue to glare at Naruto.

"I thought that the great Uchina Sasuke was a prodigy and know about that" Naruto said sarcastically.

Sasuke got up and garb Naruto by his shirt and came face to face with him.

"Dobe tell me how you know this, tell me how to deal with the dreaded fan-girl, tell me…" Sasuke said but never got to finish because someone bump him in the back causing him to fall onto Naruto kissing him in the process.

"AHH damn it teme like I told you last time you confessed to me that I am a guy and I am only interested in girl not guys" Naruto said spiting and coughing while every guy was laughing at them.

"Shut up it was an accident dobe and you promise me that you won't metion about that again beside it was not my fault you look like a girl back then when you were really skinny and have long hair" Sasuke said spiting and coughing too.

"Well no other guys confessed to me before so you are the only guy who dumb enough to think that right" Naruto said looking around for confirmation but saw most of the guy look away in embarrassment.

"Once we found that you turn down Uchiha because you were a guy we kind give up" one of the guys said quietly.

"Damn you Kami not only did my kiss was stolen by a guy but I learn that everyone though I was a girl, why did you give me such a cruel life" Naruto said to the heaven with anime tears.

"**Apart of being the most entertaining human in this world is to experiencing hilarious situations such as this"** Kami said causing everyone to try and find the sources of the strange voice that is heard around Naruto.

"That doesn't mean you should let such thing to happen, especially to me" Naruto said to the heaven.

"**We didn't let such things happen"** Fate said.

"**This was the outcome that we created due to the choice you and other made"** Destiny said.

"**Anyway we have to get back to our godly duty"** Kami said.

"Curse you supernatural beings anyway Hinata can you help me get rid of the memory and taste of that kiss" Naruto said to the pale eye Hinata.

As those words left Naruto mouth Hinata face turn red and fainted.

"Hinata! I thought you got over that along with your stuttering but you still look cute when you face get red. Hmm I guess I get mouthwash from someone else" Naruto mused.

"Is Naruto-sama causing Hinata-sama to faint on purpose" Tree asked.

"I don't know Tree-kun but it is funny to see Hina-chan go down" Cloud said smiling.

"Oh no it look like Naruto-kun is in trouble" Mokona said.

"Hmm my Shinobi sense is tinkling" Naruto said then he jump to the ceiling with the bottom of his foot stick to it.

"Come down here Naruto, you have to pay for taking Sasuke-kun first kiss" Sakura said with all of Sasuke's fan-girl agreeing.

"No and it was my first kiss too who is going to pay for that now Haruno-san" Naruto said.

"Who care about a deadlast like you now get down here now" Sakura said.

"No" Naruto said sticking out his tongue at them.

Just then Iruka enter the class and saw a pass out Hinata, a sick looking Sasuke and a bunch of angry looking fan-girl yelling at Naruto who was hanging from the ceiling.

"Would someone tell me what going on here?" Iruka asked.

"Iruka-sensei my lip lost their innocent today to a guy and then the most useless being on the face of the world are attacking me" Naruto said with anime tears.

"Okay…anyway seat down so we can began team assignment" Iruka said but the fan-girl was still yelling at Naruto.

"I SAID SEAT DOWN" Iruka said with big head no jutsu making the fan-girl seat down which let Naruto to come down and Hinata to wake up.

"Iruka-sensei where is Mizuki-sensei?" a random student asked.

"He is gone and won't be coming back" Iruka said.

"What happen to him?" someone asked.

"He is a traitor who meets a traitorous end" Naruto said sagely.

"And how do you know that dobe" Sasuke asked.

"Huh did you say something chicken-butt" Naruto said.

"Alright enough about that let get back to team assignment" Iruka said.

After listing Team 1 to 6 which no one here cares about we got to Team 7.

"Team 7 will be Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto…" Iruka said.

"Damn" Naruto and Sakura said together, Sakura because she hated Naruto and Naruto because he dislikes her for her attitude toward him.

"…and Uchiha Sasuke, your jonin-sensei is Hatake Kakashi" Iruka said.

"YES TRUE LOVE ALWAYS WIN" Sakura yelled.

"No" said all of Sasuke other fan-girls.

"NOOOOO! Damn you Kami why do you do this to me" Naruto said crying anime tears.

"**Because it is funny"** Kami replied causing people to look around.

"Iruka-sensei you have to put me in a different team" Naruto begged.

"Naruto there is a reason for the team setup you, the deadlast, is set up with the rookie of the year to balance the team out" Iruka said.

"I don't care about how skill he is or even his little attitude problem, what I am worry about is the fact that he has the largest fan-girl population in this entire village and over half of them are yoai fan-girl. Making me his teammate mean that I am the only guy who spent the most time with which mean I will be the number one person to be pair up with him and I don't need that I got enough of crap to deal with in my life" Naruto said.

"Naruto…" Iruka started to tell him he was blowing this out of proportion but then look around and saw most of the female student were blushing and giggling while writing and drawing. Sasuke saw this too and began to pale to the color of pure white.

"…I'm sorry but I can't do anything about it" Iruka said as Naruto went to his corner of woe to cry.

The rest of the team was Team 8 with Hyuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba and Aburame Shino and Yuhi Kurenai as their jonin-sensei. Team 10 was Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Choji and Yamanaka Ino with Sarutobi Asuma as their jonin-sensei.

"So do you guys want to have lunch together since we are going to be on the same team" Naruto asked Sasuke and Sakura dejectedly still upset for being victim of yoai.

"Hn" Sasuke replied.

"Who would we want to eat with a loser like you anyway Sasuke-kun want to have lunch with me" Sakura said.

"Fine I guess you don't want to know the super-secret information I have" Naruto pouted.

"What secret information?" Sasuke asked.

"The secret that you would of learn if you join me for lunch" Naruto said.

"Naruto you baka tell Sasuke-kun the secret" Sakura said.

"No Haruno-san. Hey Hinata, Shino, Kiba you guys don't mine if I join you all for lunch my teammate are being meanie" Naruto said.

"I don't mine Naruto-kun" Hinata said.

Shino nodded silently.

"Yeah sure" Kiba said.

"Hmm we should invited Iruka-sensei and Shikamaru team too, I made my 'Uzumaki Leaf Special Feast' to celebrate graduating from the academy so I made a lot of food to eat" Naruto said.

"Did he just say 'Uzumaki'" Shikamuru who overheard said.

"Leaf" Choji who also overheard said.

"Special" Shino added.

"Feast" Kiba said while drooling.

"Let go" Kiba and Choji said together dragging Naruto by the arm.

"Okay, hey Iruka-sensei we are having lunch together wants to join us" Naruto said.

"Okay coming" Iruka said.

"Hey what going on here" Ino asked.

"We're having lunch with Naruto and everyone" Shikamaru said.

"Why?" Ino asked.

"Troublesome, Naruto made his 'Uzumaki Leaf Special Feast' and it the greatest feast anyone can have" Shikamaru said.

"You kidding right Naruto probably can't cook" Ino said.

"No it is the greatest feast anyone can have nothing compare to it" Shino said pushing up his glasses.

So Iruka, Naruto, Team 8 and 10 went to find picnic table to have lunch along with Sasuke and Sasuke who went along to find out what the big deal was.

_Meanwhile at Naruto Apartment_

The Hokage brought Kakashi to look around Naruto's home.

"Hold on Kakashi" the Hokage said standing in front of the door. He then places his hand on the door and channel chakra through it, suddenly a seal array appears on the door and click could be heard. They open the door and enter.

"A security seal?" Kakashi inquired.

"Yes Naruto is quite skill in the sealing art and he place a lot of security seal around due the number of time people tend to break in his home, though how skill I don't know, he might be a master at them. The next time I see Jiraiya I will have him test Naruto" the Hokage said.

"From want I can tell it is unlike any security seal I ever see" Kakashi said.

"It might be an original design by Naruto and if that is true then we should be careful and not set it off, the last time someone did that he have orange skins for weeks" the Hokage said.

Kakashi was looking around the place, when he opens the fridge he saw a large jug, a box and a letter.

"_Dear, Ojiisan and future sensei,_

_I figure you guys might visit my home when I am at the academy so made my special 'Oh My Kami Frosted Triple Layer Chocolate Fudge Cake' and the fine rice wine that Mokona got from 'Beverage World' which he gives five Mekkyo._

_Sincerely,_

_Naruto, Cloud, Tree, Obito, and Mokona"_ Kakashi read out loud.

"Beverage World? Mekkyo? Obito?" Kakashi ponder. When look at the Hokage for answers he saw him at the table cutting himself a pieces of the cake and pouring some of the rice wine to go with it.

"Don't just stand there sit down and join me" the Hokage said with such enthusiasm that cause Kakashi to sweat-drop but join in regardless.

"OH MY KAMI! Where have you been all my life" Kakashi yell and said after taking a bite of the cake and then proceed to fall into a food coma.

_Back to the Naruto and Everyone_

"Hmm look like someone just took their first bite of my awesome cake" Naruto said causing everyone who hasn't taste the 'Oh My Kami Frosted Triple Layer Chocolate Fudge Cake' to sweat-drop and those who have to drool.

"Anyway Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique)" Naruto said causing a dozen Naruto appeared.

"Henge no Jutsu (Transform Technique)" all the clones said as they transform to a Naruto with a butler suit. Naruto pull out a stored scroll and active it causes the food to appear. The clone then process to set the food on the table. When they were done on the table there were all sorts of sea foods, meats, vegetables and bite size snack to eat.

"Lunch is serve honor guest, please enjoy" said the clone butler as they pour everyone a drink while some wonder where Naruto learn to make solid clone.

"Naruto aren't the butler a little overkill?" Iruka asked.

"It me you are talking about" Naruto replied.

"Right" Iruka said.

"Hey dobe what is the secret information you have?" Sasuke asked.

"Eat first, talk later" Naruto replied.

"Hn" Sasuke said taking a bite of a dish with tomato on it. Once he did his eyes got foggy and he froze.

"Sasuke-kun?" Ino and Sakura said together.

"…"

"Sasuke-kun!" Ino and Sakura said.

"…"

"Oh no Sasuke-kun got food poisoning and now he dead" Ino and Sakura said.

"Troublesome, he not dead he just in a food coma from eating Naruto's cooking for the first time it happen to everyone" Shikamaru said as everyone else there nodded in agreement and then start eating.

"Come on dig in" Naruto said to Ino and Sakura.

"Umm no I am on a diet" Ino said.

"Yeah me too" Sakura added.

"That stupid you ninja now and you need to eat in order get the energy need to be ninja. Also there a lot of people in the world who goes hungry because they do not have enough food to eat so eat the food that is provide for you" Naruto said.

"But I have to keep a slim figure" Ino said and Sakura nodded in agreement.

"Guys like girls with some curves and not a stick, besides starving yourself it not helping your development especially the breast area" Naruto said and the guys there nodded in agreement.

"PERVERT!" Ino and Sakura said together.

"I am not a pervert because I not suggesting any perverted act just a medical fact that a balance meal help with developing a gorgeous figure" Naruto said.

"Well maybe…no I must stick to the diet" Sakura said.

"Yeah" Ino agreed.

"Don't you dare waste food in front of me so dig in or else I will force feed you" Naruto said releasing a little killer intent which force Ino and Sakura with no choice but to eat. Once both took a bit of food they fell into a food coma.

"Dobe you will be the Uchiha personal chef" Sasuke said coming out of the food coma.

"Denial, I want to be a ninja, beside since we are on the same team you most likely be eating my food when we go on long mission teme" Naruto replied.

"Point taken dobe" Sasuke said.

"Damn lucky bastard" the other said.

"Thank for making lunch for us Naruto-kun is quite delicious" Hinata said.

"It is not as good as you, Hinata-chan" Naruto said causing Hinata to blush really red.

"The snacks you make are really good" Naruto said with smile causing everyone to sweat-drop at misinterpretation cause by the first half of the comment.

_After everyone eat their meal_

"More rice wine" Mokona said with a sigh after drinking his 50th bottle.

"Of course" said one of the clone butlers.

"Man Mokona you drink alcohol as much as I eat ramen and you not even drunk" Naruto said.

"It is one of my 108 secret techniques drinking a lot of alcohol without getting drunk" Mokona said empty another bottle.

"Dobe I been wonder what the hell is that?" Sasuke asked pointing at Mokona.

"Mokona? Mokona is Mokona Modoki" Naruto said.

"That not said much" Sasuke deadpanned.

"Yeah also you have those weird doll things too, I mean I heard about puppet jutsu but it seems that they have a mind of their own" Kiba said point at Tree playing on a handheld game and Cloud who playing shogi with Shikamaru.

"Because they do and it looks like Cloud-kun beat Shikamaru once again" Naruto said.

"Damn he really good I never seem to be able to win again him. Up for another game Cloud" Shikamaru said.

"Sure Pineapple-kun" Cloud said.

"Yeah I am good at game of chance, Cloud-kun is good at strategy game, Tree-kun good at RPG, Obito-kun good at puzzle game and Mokona is good at kid game and drinking game too" Naruto stated.

"Wait they have a mind of their own how is that possible and how come most of you are not curious about this?" Kiba asked.

Naruto, Shikamaur, Choji and Shino stare at Kiba.

"What?" Kiba asked.

"You forgot that I told you, Shikamaur, Choji and Shino about it the last time you ask me when we were hang out didn't you" Naruto said.

"Huh? I guess I kind of did so would you mind reminding me again" Kiba said.

"Kiba, time like these I am really worry about how you live without me" Akamaru sighed.

"Life of a nin-dog is tough for you Akamaru especially with an owner like Kiba" Naruto said.

"Hey…wait did you understand what Akamaru said?" Kiba said.

"No it seems that Akamaru learn human speech" Shino.

"Human speech?" Akuamaru replied.

"No I don't think Akuamaru can speak human language it mostly like Mokona doing" Naruto said.

"Yep another one of my 108 secret techniques, translator, as long as you are in close proximity of me no matter what language you speak anyone can understand what the other is saying" Mokona replied.

"Okay anyway reminding me again how those dolls work again" Kibas said.

"I would but…" Naruto said looking at Ino, Sakura and Sasuke.

"What is it some big secret, don't worry we won't tell anyone" Ino said.

"Well I kind don't want a lot of people to know about it yet and you Ino are the biggest gossiper there is and there no way anything we would said would be kept a secret for long because of you" Naruto said.

"I am not" Ino countered.

"Toublesome, yes you are Ino" Shikamaur said as every nodded.

"Dobe just tell us it probably nothing that great" Sasuke said.

"Okay fine remember this time Kiba. Anyway the reason they have a mind of their own is because they possess a soul" Naruto said.

"Oh yeah now I remember you said something about sealing spirits in the doll" Kiba said.

"A jutsu that can seal a person into a doll where did you learn that technique dobe" Sasuke asked with interest.

"That not it, what I said last time is there are seals written inside the doll that allow spirit to inhabit them" Naruto sighed.

"Spirits? You are talking like they are real thing" Ino said.

"They are because I can see them" Naruto said and speaking of spirits Naruto was being annoyed by two spirits that are in a heat argument right this moment.

"Haha your son ended up super emo, teme" Minato said.

"Shut up as least he is not a deadlast idiot, dobe" Fugaku said.

"He not ready deadlast he only pretending to be" Minato countered.

"Still have the lowest grades in the academy" Fugaku replied.

"Would you both stop it or I will find a way to make your soul black and blue, both of you are adult but you act as you are still academy student, grow up" Kushina said scaring both male.

"Boy no matter what age they never grow up" Mikoto said.

"Anyway you will let us meet my son soon so we can tell about what really happen that day and about that man so he can be prepare if he ever meet him boy" Fugaku said.

"Hey don't talk to my son that way" Minato said.

"Fugaku be nice anyway we really want to talk to him before we move on" Mikoto said.

Naruto nodded to them and got back to the other.

"Yeah right there no way you or any can do that" Sakura said.

"Actually it is true, I didn't believe at first until he let me see them" Iruka said.

"See them? You never say you could make other see what you see" Shino said.

"It is something I recently found out" Naruto said.

"So you can see dead people?" Ino asked.

"Dead souls and spirits of all kind" Naruto replied.

"Huh? Spirits of all kind what do mean" Ino asked.

"Animism, all thing human, animal, plants, inanimate object and geographic have a soul and I can see these souls" Naruto said.

"So is it a bloodline or something dobe" Sasuke said.

"Hmm more like part of my bloodline emo" Naruto said.

"So you do have a bloodline, that the secret you have so tell us what is it and what it can do" Sasuke said.

"Nope that not the secret that I want to tell you, as for my bloodline it is a secret that I won't tell you yet" Naruto said.

"Why won't you tell us we your teammate, beside I bet you told the other" Sakura said.

"Actually all he told us is he have two bloodline but not the name or what they do" Choji said.

"Tell us dobe" Sasuke said.

"Nope not yet, not until we become a team, teme" Naruto said.

"Team, what you talking about we are a team" Sasuke responded.

"That is what I want to discuss with you guy, the thing is we not really ninja yet" Naruto said.

"What the hell are you talking about we graduate" Kiba ask.

"From what a little bird (Obito) told me, the graduation was only to select candidate who has the possibility to be genin, your jonin-sensei have the final say if you are a genin or not after they evaluate you" Naruto said shocking most people there.

"Uh if that true then is it okay for Naruto to tell us this" Sakura asked.

"Well there no rule that said that you can't know, it just most people don't know beforehand" Iruka said.

"Knowledge is power" Shino said.

"Right knowledge is power, that why I have info on the test they might give us and your jonin-sensei" Naruto said.

"How the hell does an idiot like you have such information" Sasuke asked.

"My super special ninja skill" Naruto replied.

"What super special ninja skill deadlast?" Sasuke asked.

"The super special ninja skill that let me paint the Hokage monument without anyone knowing until I am almost done and my skill to out run the ANBU. Beside I can talk to thing other can't see so I can have them gather information without anyone knowing" Naruto replied.

"Point taken so what do you have" Sasuke said.

"Well to start off with, from what I gather the evaluation forces on teamwork so they will test if the entire team member can work together or not and might try to trick us to fight among ourselves. Now from what I can gather about Team 8 jonin-sensei, her name is Kurenai Yuhi, recent promoted jonin and is a Genjutsu specialist. Team 10 jonin-sensei is Asuma Sarutobi the Hokage son, skill with using trench knives also have fire and wind jutsu. Now for Team 7 jonin-sensei is Kakashi Hatake with the Sharingan in his left eye earn him the moniker Copy Ninja Kakashi and Kakashi of the Sharingan and said to master a thousand jutsu" Naruto said.

"Wait Sharingan how come he has it" Sasuke asked.

"Hmm from what I gather his dying friend gives it to as a last request" Naruto said.

"Hn" Sasuke replied.

"Anyway I think it is time we should head back" Naruto said.

_Back at the academy_

Hours pass as team 7 still wait for their jonin-sensei to show up. By now all the other team and sensei have left. Right now the scene in the classroom was Sasuke brooding, Sakura continue looking at Sasuke like a piece of meat and Nartuo who is playing "The Game of LIFE" with Obito, Cloud, Tree and Mokona. Finally Naruto got fed up of wait decide to do something as he called forth Yami Naruto and some Kage Bunshin.

"Dobe what are you doing?" Sasuke asked.

"Well Yami and some of my clone are going to give our new sensei a little surprise for being late. I on the other hand am going to continue to play the board game, that I told you guys should join in because it will get boring wait for our sensei who have a reputation of being late which was proven right, while at same time I will be walking on the wall" Naruto replied.

"Hehe he will know why we are fear as the Prankster Lord of Konoha, alright minion let get to work" Yami snickered.

"Why?" Sasuke asked.

"Because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of doing strange and illogical thing such as this and because charka exercise like this help with building up your charka reverse and control but for some reason I still can't get enough to do some of the simple basic E-rank jutsu" Naruto replied as he walk up the wall with his foot only.

"You have been hiding you true skill haven't you" Sasuke stated.

"Hmm yes, yes I have. And Mokona I think will adopt twin so put a blue and pink peg on my pieces" Naruto said continue the game from atop of the ceiling.

"Okay and our little one should have a play date" Mokona replied and take his turn.

"Fight me" Sasuke said while thinking 'I will show that I am stronger and get close to killing him'.

"Nope, I have no desire to stroke your ego emo chicken butt, but I think Haruno-san would like to stroke it along with other parts of you" Naruto replied.

"NARUTO!" Sakura yelled with a blush.

"What afraid to fight me" Sasuke said trying to provoke Naruto.

"No not really if you want to test each other strength I have no problem with it however I have no desire to proof who is stronger there is nothing to gain from it" Naruto said.

"How come?" Sasuke ask with anger.

"For many reason and you want to know why?" Naruto asked and Sasuke nodded.

"To start off with you want power but not strength and there is a different. Power is something you have, a kunai how power, an explosion tag has power but unless you direct the power usefully it won't become your strength. Then there is your pride that will be a problem it will either make you unable to handle a defeat or make your victory hollow because if you lose you will brood or wallow over the lost and learn nothing to help you to get stronger, on the other hand if you win your pride would deem yourself stronger than anyone and have no reason to better yourself. To be strong you must always better yourself because no matter how strong you become there always a chance that someone stronger is out there. Now I will tell you that I know about your clan massacre because I meet your parent ghost and I can have you meet them too but I am not going to let you meet them yet…" Naruto said.

"What! Why won't you, you don't understand how painful it is live a lonely life because your own brother murder your family and force you to see them murder right in front of your eye over and over" Sasuke growled.

"Please don't interrupt and let me finish. And you right I don't know how you feel or the pain of losing your family because unluckily or lucky depend on how you look at it I never have a family nor knew about them until recently but I do understand the pain of loneness because for most of my life I was on my own and depend on no one but myself. However I won't let you meet them because I know some stuff about the Uchiha clan massacre probably more than you do but not everything because of that I don't want cause any misunderstanding to form from limited information so until I know more you just to wait for a little while. Also if what I think to be true what I tell you now will devastate you and until I believe you are able to handle this you just have to wait. And lastly there might be a connection between the death of your parent and the death of my parent and talking about it will bring up stuff about my life that I am not ready to share with other yet so can you a least wait until I am ready" Naruto said.

"How bad is the thing about you that you don't want to talk about?" Sasuke asked.

"It involved an S-rank secret and death if told by someone other than the Hokage or me and also make me question if my life is worth living for from time to time" Naruto said with a sad smile.

Sakura who hear the conversation was left speechless while Sasuke was left confuse and ponder over what the blond told him.

"You will tell me eventually right?" Sasuke finally asked.

"Yeah I will" Naruto replied.

"Fine but I still want to fight you" Sasuke said think over everything.

"Fine but under some condition, first condition is no matter who will lose or win the fight we will help each get stronger, since we are a team and comrade, so after each fight or spar we will comment on our strength and our weakness that we need to improve. Secondly willingly to help other while at the same time willingly ask and receive help" Naruto said.

"Fine I am willing to live with that and since I am willing to ask for help will you teach me how to walk on the wall?" Sasuke asked.

"Sure but not today because sensei should come around now but I will teach you tomorrow after tomorrow morning training which you will be joining me in and Haruno-san too since you want to get stronger and we going to be on the same team" Naruto said.

"Fine that doesn't sound too bad" Sasuke said.

"Oh wait until you see want morning training mean to me" Naruto said with an evil grin that send chill in the back of both teammates' spine.

"I know there're lots you are not willing to tell us yet but are there anything that you can tell us?" Sasuke asked.

"Well I guess I can tell you that our true enemy that brought pain and misery to both of us may be the same person and it is not your brother. Also to try to remember the events that occur around the time when that event happen" Naruto said.

Sasuke concentration on what Naruto said and began to remember how strange his clan were acting around that time and got more confuse but did have long to ponder when the door slide open. When it did the one eye sliver hair shinobi was tar and feather, have pie throw at him and to top it off a bucket full of bright neon orange paint fall and got stuck on his head.

"Haha that should teach my son to not be late" said an older sliver shinobi that got Naruto attention.

"You can see me" He asked and Naruto nodded to him.

"Well it nice to meet you my name is Hatake Sakumo and I your new sensei's father. This guy wasn't always this late but since he lost his good friend he adopt his habit in memory of him but hopeful by take you guys as student will help him move on" Sakumo said.

"I will try" Naruto mouthed to him.

"Good friend, I don't remember him saying we were good friend" Obito muttered.

"Hmm Yami I give that prank a B-rank if you added some rabid squirrel I might give it an A-rank" Naruto said.

"Damn I knew I forgot something, anyway until next time bye" Yami said.

"See you later, anyway sensei you three hour late" Naruto said dropping from the ceiling.

"Hmm my first impression is…I don't like you guy especially you whisker" Kakashi said while thinking 'Since when did he learn tree climbing exercise and who taught him that'.

"Aww and here I thought I did you a favor by add some color to your monotone life" Naruto pouted.

"Anyway meet me on the roof" Kakashi said.

_On Top of School Roof_

"Ok let's began with some introduction, tell each other your name, likes, dislike, hobbies, dreams for the future" Kakashi said.

"Why don't you go first sensei and give us an example?" Sakura asked.

"Okay my name is Hatake Kakashi. My likes and dislike I have no desire to tell you guys. I have lots of hobbies. As for my dreams it is none of your business" Kakashi said.

'All we learn was his name' thought Sasuke and Sakura.

"Hmm very informative" Naruto said.

"What! Did you even hear what he said, all he told us was his name" Sakura said.

"I heard what he said though I think you guys couldn't interpret what it mean, so Mokona since one of your 108 secret techniques is translator can you translate what was said" Naruto said.

"Okay my name is Hatake Kakashi" Mokona said in Kakashi's voice on top of his head "My likes and dislike I have no desire to tell you guys because it is naughty and you guys are too young to know. I have lots of hobbies include doing naughty things. As for my dreams it is none of your business because I don't want to corrupt my innocent students" Mokona giggle to finish it off.

"Hey you make it sound like I am a pervert" Kakashi said.

"Do you deny that you are a pervert" Naruto asked.

"…"

'Oh my Kami our new sensei is a pervert' thought Sasuke and Sakura.

"Anyway let continue you go next pinkie" Kakashi said.

"My name is Haruno Sakura not pinkie, the thing I like is…Well the person I like is" Sakura said looking at Sasuke.

"My hobby is…" she said again looking at Sasuke.

"As for my dream for the future…" she said while looking at Sasuke again.

"The thing I dislike is Naruto" She said.

"Aw you dislike me Haruno-san and here I thought you hated me and want to kill me like everyone else" Naruto said while Kakashi was surprise he talk about his treatment from most of the villagers with such eased.

"So from what the useless fan-girl said she like to stalk, worship and plan to rape chicken butt here" Naruto said.

"NARUTO" Sakura yelled.

"Hey teme you better watch your back I think she have a list of plan for ways to get you alone to rape you" Naruto whispered to Sasuke.

"I don't have a list" Sakura replied.

"Oh right you have a pink notebook decorated with hearts and glitters, using a picture of emo taking a shower that you took secretly as a bookmark and title it Sasuke hearts Sakura that contain all your plans of what you want to do with him" Naruto said.

"How…how did you know about that" Sakura asked.

"I was actually joking about that" Naruto deadpanned as Sasuke's eye began to twitch.

"Damn fan-girl you scary, I feel sorry for you emo chicken butt" Naruto said as he patted a still twitching Uchiha on the back.

"Right that was downright disturbing you turn twitchy" Kakashi said.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke. There are tons of things I dislike and right now it is mostly fan-girl, mainly a certain pink hair fan-girl. I don't really like anything and my dream, no my ambition is to resurrect my clan and kill a certain man or was to kill a certain man but due to certain information or lack of it I am not so certain about it now" Sasuke said.

'Sasuke-kun you are so cool, I will help you revive your clan' Sakura thought miss the comment about her.

"So what you are saying is that you are an antisocial emo with a chicken butt hair style with a slight brother complex right" Naruto sagely.

"What with you and my hair style and I don't have a brother complex" Sasuke said.

"Well when I see your hair every time I have a strange craving for chicken" Naruto said.

'**I know what you mean kit, I feel the same way too so can have some'** Kurama said in his mind.

'Sure' Naruto replied as a dozen chickens appear in his mindscape.

"As for you brother complex hmm…oh hey Itachi is here" Naruto said.

"What where?" Sasuke said as he got up and look around.

"See you have an unhealthy obsession over your brother" Naruto stated.

"DOBE" Sasuke growled.

"Okay lastly our blond whisker commentary" Kakashi said.

"Right my name is Uzumaki Naruto and my likes are ramen especially the ramen Iruka buy me from Ichiraku, I also like my pseudo and blood family and friend no matter what state of existent they are in. What my dislikes are is waiting 3 minutes for cup ramen to cook, people who mistake you for something that you are not and sad souls that wander this world. My hobbies are tasting different flavor ramen, pranks, cooking, sewing, designing seals, break dancing, other form of dancing too, gardening, singing, playing musical instrument, sketching and making a certain blue hair brunet with lavender pearls eyes blush in many different way" Naruto said while everyone else sweat-dropped at what he said especially his last hobby.

"And you said I have an obsession" Sasuke said.

"Hey after my intervention I am down to ramen for two day per week though during those two days of ramen I do tend to eat more than my weight in ramen. Anyway my dreams are many because I want to accomplish many things in my life before my time in this world end. One of them is to stop a certain man that took my family away from me and give me a curse life, I want to stop him to keep him from bring more pain and misery to other in this world like he did to me" Naruto said which cause Kakashi and the other there to wonder who he was talking about.

"On a lighter note my other goal in life is to help as many sad souls in this world to find peace and happiness and to become the greatest Hokage ever so I can protect the other and have people of this village acknowledged my existence. Also I want to fill out my list of accomplishment in my journal with many pages of accomplishments and stories. As for my personal goal I want become strong enough to protect people who are precious to me especially a certain blue hair brunet with lavender pearl eyes that I like to make blush in much different way and when I do become strong enough to protect her hmm…I think I keep that to myself" Naruto said with a grin.

'So I have a creepy fan-girl, a avenger with second thought and weirdo with a ramen obsession that is teasing some poor girl and speak of said girl I kind of feel sorry for her' Kakashi thought.

_With Said Blue Hair Brunet Girl with Lavender Pearl Eyes_

"Achoo" Hinata sneezed.

"Are you okay Hinata you not coming down with anything because you are sneezing a lot?" Kurenai asked.

"No I don't think so" Hinata said.

"Hmm maybe someone is talking about you now" Kurenai said with a smile.

'I hope it is Naruto-kun' Hinata thought with a blush.

"Who am I kidding why would he talk about me" Hinata sighs to herself.

_Back to Naruto and the Other_

"So now with the intro done with…" Kakashi started but was interrupted by Naruto.

"Wait my friends have not introduce themselves yet" Naruto said.

"Umm okay?" Kakashi said.

"Well it look like Obito wants to go first" Naruto said pointing at Obito in crow form causing Kakashi to raise an eyebrow.

"His likes are his friends and to perform random act of kindness even though it always make him late for stuff. What he dislikes when people claim that his excuse for being late are lie and when the Shinigami is being lazy. His hobby is to pull pranks and his dreams for the future is to pass on his prank on to me and make me a great grim reaper" Naruto said confuse Kakashi on how similar the crow Obito is to the human Obito and when Naruto said about him being a grim reaper but decide not to question it yet.

"Yeah I am next my name is Cloud. My likes are my friends like Naru-kun, Tree-kun, Obito-kun and Mokona-kun, my other likes are flying, sky watching, clouds, stars, moon and doing fun things. My dislikes are people who hurt my friends and not doing fun things. My hobbies are singing, playing music instrument, playing with wind and blowing and whispering behind people ears. My dream for the future is to have lots and lots of fun" Cloud said enthusiastically.

"Hello my name is Tree. My likes are my friends and helping Naruto-sama in any way I can and plants. My dislikes are people who hurt my friends and pollution. My hobbies are gardening and planting plants everywhere making the world greener. My dream for the future is to make the whole world a great garden or a least make sure the world is a little greener" Tree said coolly.

"Hi my name is Mokona Modoki. My like are alcoholic drinks, delicious foods and my friends. My dislikes are people taking alcoholic drinks from me. My hobbies are drinking alcoholic drinks and displaying my 108 secret techniques. My dream for the future other drinking more alcohols is helping Naruto-kun accomplish his dream. Hey Naruto-kun can I get some sake after this" Mokona Modoki said.

"Sure Mokona, man you sure like your sake" Naruto said.

"Anyway now with the introduction over with I can tell you what we will be doing tomorrow, tomorrow we will be doing a survival exercise" Kakashi said.

"Okay is that all?" Naruto asked.

"No there more and you guys are going to flip when you hear this" Kakashi said while laughing.

"Okay what is it" Naruto asked.

"Out of all the graduates only 33% will be chosen as genin the other 66% will go back to the Academy, this survival exercise will decide if you will be a genin or not" Kakashi said.

The three younger ninjas look at the older one with no surprise in their eye which surprises the jonin. They blinked at him and he blinked back at them.

"Sensei that really not funny, if too many of us failed then the academy teacher will have their paycheck cut and if that happen then Iruka-sensei won't have enough money to take me out for ramen, think about the ramen" Naruto said dramatically with anime tears.

"Sheesh what with you and ramen and why aren't any of you surprise about the news?" Kakashi asked.

"Well I know about not being a genin yet because a little birdy told me about it and if he didn't me I could have found out about since there always a student who failed the test that complain loudly about it, and since I know about it and these two will be in my team I decide that I should at least tell them about to be fair" Naruto said.

"Oh come on did you have to take the fun out of it. Anyways the details of where and when to meet will be on this printout don't be late, bring all your ninja tools and don't eat breakfast because if you do then you will throw up" Kakashi eye-smiled then disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

"Don't be late that rich coming from him anyway you guys want to get some ramen with me and talk about each other skill level so we can plan how best to use it in tomorrow exercise" Naruto asked.

"Sure why not" they both said and began to leave.

Omake:

~Saga of the Orange Prankster, Trickster: Village Warfare~

_Hokage Tower_

"Okay soldiers we have declare an all-out prank strike on the village" Naruto said to the gang in front of the Hokage's desk.

"Umm Hokage-sama why is Uzumaki-san and his strange dolls-bird-creature-friends-whatever doing in here?" said the rookie from 'Fun with ANBU' who now don the bunny mask asked.

"Well for some strange reason he like to come here to plan out his pranks, if I remember right the prank he did on you was plan inside here" the Hokage said.

"Yes that pranks, anyway should we do something about his plan to prank the whole village?" Bunny ANBU asked.

"Yes we should, General Uzumaki since you are plan an all-out prank strike on the village can you also test and report on security stats of the whole village, in your report include any weakness that need to be deal with in order to improve the overall stats of our security system. This will be counted as an S-rank mission" the Hokage said.

"Yes sir, I will do my best Emperor Ojiisan" Naruto said with a military salute.

"Um what I meant is should we stop him from doing it?" Bunny ANBU asked.

"No once he start on something especially a prank there is no way that we can stop him the best we can do is encourage him to do it in a safe way or a way that is beneficial to us. You also should be glad you are stuck doing guard duty with me this week because the tower here is one of the safe zone from his prank attack" the Hokage said.

"Yes thank for that" Bunny ANBU said with the other ANBU nodded with agreement.

"Okay we will do the works so that mean seven bright neon glowed in the dark color paint, all the kind of stink bombs include the new stick on smell stink bombs, paint bombs, and itching powder bombs. We shall start from the outer perimeter then work our way to the center so let start by donning our prank war battle suit" Naruto said.

_On the Village Edge_

Naruto was in a black and orange armored jumpsuit with an orange biker helmet.

"Let get this started, may shift humiliation be delivered upon our enemy" Naruto said.

"May shift humiliation be delivered upon our enemy" Tree, Cloud and Obito responded.

Then Naruto ran across the rooftop dramatically throwing stink bombs, paint bombs and itching powder bombs to his left and right. After doing it for some distance he did a hand sigh and active seal he put around the area paint explode with a colorful display. Similar event was occurring all over the village within the hour of this. By the end of the day the Hokage tower was full of people with report of the event.

"Well it seems that Uzumaki-san was successful with his pranks" Bunny ANBU said.

"Yes now I just need to get his report on it" the Hokage said.

"Here Emperor Ojiisan it was one of my best work" Naruto said appearing from a hidden compartment and handed the Hokage a scroll.

"Naruto how did you find that hiding spot and what you doing in there for?" the Hokage asked.

"Oh I like to explore around the village and sometime I find all kind of hidden passage with the help of the many spirits I meet. As for why I am in here I am hiding in here until the heat die down and since I carry everything with me I can stay hidden for weeks anyway I got to go back to hiding now" Naruto said as he close the hidden compartment.

"Should we worry about those hidden passage" the Bunny ANBU asked.

"No since Naruto found them he most likely set up all kind of seal and trap to keep people from finding and entering them" the Hokage said.

A/N: Peace out Sayonara no Jutsu


	7. Chapter 7 Test of a Ninja or Tea Party

Path of a Ninja Arc:

Chapter 7~Test of a Ninja or Tea Party~

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me or other random reference

"normal Speech"

'thoughts'

**Demon and other uber being**

Different language 

_Outside Sasuke Apartment _

"Hey chicken butt wake up and open the damn door already" Naruto said banging on Sasuke's door.

"What the hell it is five in the morning what are you all doing here so early" a tried and irritated Sasuke asked.

"As I told you yesterday you will be joining me in my morning work out, so hurry up and get ready because we have to pick up Haruno-san too" Naruto replied.

"Five more minutes please" said a sleeping Mokona in the hood of Naruto's hoodie as he turn to get more comfy.

"Do you always get up this early in the morning to train" a sleepy Uchiha asked.

"Yeah anyway hurry up and get ready already" Naruto replied.

Once Sasuke was ready, they walked a few block and arrive at Sakura's house.

"Hmm look like everyone inside the house is still asleep" Naruto mused.

"Of course they are no normal person is awake around this time" Sasuke said.

"That not true you are awake at this time anyway we need a way to wake her up. Oh I know, hey Haruno-san emo is here to ask you out for a date" Naruto said out loud and once those words left his mouth a pink blur appeared.

"Sasuke-kun, are you really asking me out on a date?" Sakura asked.

"No we having morning training right now" Sasuke replied.

"Huh but it five in the morning" Sakura said.

"The time of day is the least of your worry now hurry up and follow me we need to get started" Naruto told them.

_At the Base of the Hokage Monument_

"Okay we going to start off with some light training and then as time pass it will get harder. To begin with we will run to the top of the Monument once at the top we will then crawl down to the bottom after that we will run laps around the perimeter of the village until we have to meet up with Kakashi for the survival exercise at training ground 7" Naruto said.

"You called that light" Sakura said.

"What about resting up for the survival exercise, dobe?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes I consider this light because I haven't add weight yet nor have you carry anything heavy, as for the survival exercise Kakashi will be late again like last time and I estimate that he will be late at least three hours or so, so we will have time to rest after I teach you the tree walking exercise but if you guy get tired during the exercise you can rest" Naruto said.

After an hour of their morning workout they went home, shower, change and meet again at training ground 7.

"After all that how the hell are you not exhausted Naruto" Sakura asked still sore from the morning workout.

"I been doing that type of excises for a long time and got used to it. You guys need to keep this up and will be able to handle it over time. Now for the tree walking exercise what you need to do is channel charka to the bottom of your feet and then walks up the tree. Keep in mind that if you use too much you will be blasted off but too little and you won't stick on the tree" Naruto said.

"Yeah trees are living being and if you push them too hard they push back" Tree said.

For their first attempt Sakura got to the first branch of the tree while Sasuke got a few feet up and then was then got blasted off.

"Look Sasuke-kun I did it" Sakura said.

"Hn" replied a frustrated Uchiha.

"Good Haruno-san it seems that you have perfect control compare to us however your reserve is way less than both of us. The second benefit of charka exercise other than control is it built up your reserve so keep going until you get tired. As for you Uchiha you need to calm down getting frustrated won't help and also make it hard to do. So if do get frustrated stop, take a breath and wait until your mind is clear to start again" Naruto told them.

"Okay" both replied.

"So what will you be doing while we work on this?" Sasuke asked.

"A little bit of tree walking exercise to improve my control some more then I will be learning how to fly" Naruto said with a straight face.

"Seriously what are you going to be doing?" Sasuke asked.

"Seriously I will be learning how to fly" Naruto replied.

"You are actually telling the truths aren't you" Sasuke deadpanned.

"Yeah" Naruto replied.

"Yahoo 'Air Naruto' is open for business" Cloud cheered.

"Why?" Sasuke asked.

"Because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of aerodynamic and also it for a jutsu that I am developing" Naruto replied.

"Hn" Sasuke said.

While Sasuke and Sakura continue the tree walking exercise Naruto after doing the same exercise began the first stage of learn how to fly which is lift. Naruto channel some wind chakra to bottom of his feet in order to levitate off the ground but due to the fact that today was the first day he attempt this exercise he either have a light breeze blow from his feet to his face or was blow up into the sky and then painful came crushing down.

"Well Kakashi is two hour late already so I guess now will be a good time to stop and rest for now, for we will have about an hours or two left until our late sensei arrive" Naruto said a few hours later.

"Okay" "Hn" said his wearied teammate.

"Anyway I pack a lot of foods so let eat" Naruto said.

"What but didn't Kakashi-sensei said not to eat any breakfast" Sakura said.

"Well he did say that but he didn't order us not to eat, he just said not to or we will throw up so I consider it as an advice I choose not to follow. Beside right now is not morning anymore and it is too early to been noon so I don't consider what we having is breakfast but brunch and if we do end up throwing it is better to do that than be tried and hungry for what Kakashi will have us do" Naruto said digging in along with Mokona.

At the growled of both of their stomach both Sasuke and Sakura join in too.

"So since we will be working together I decide what part we play in our team formation" Naruto said during their meal.

"What are talking about dobe?" Sasuke asked.

"Well think of the team as a veteran warrior and each member of the team as a tool use by that warrior. For example since Kakashi will be our jonin-sensei he will be the horse that the warrior will mounted because he will be the leader of our team that will not only lead us to battle but support us when needed. As for me due to my large stamina and my ability to make a bunch of solid Kage Bunshin I will be the shield that will protect the warrior and at the same time wear down the enemy by stopping or reducing his blow. As for you emo you will be the sword that the warrior wield because you like to cross sword" Naruto said with a grin.

"NARUTO!" Sasuke growled and Sakura screeched while blushing.

"What is it chicken butt with a brother complex and no interest in the opposite sex and his scary pink hair sidekick with a chicken butt fetish?" Naruto asked innocently.

"SASUKE-KUN IS NOT A FETISH" Sakura screeched again.

"I do not have a brother complex and I am interest in girls but not weak and annoying fan-girls" Sasuke growled again.

"Okay, okay I was only joking, partly anyways. Yeah so with the skill that teme possess he is the sword that the warrior wield because you will do the most damage to the enemy and be the one to deliver the final blow. As for you Haruno-san hmm, the only thing left is the armor which the warrior wears to ensure that they survive so you job will be to support the team. So to recap our team for the most part will work like this Kakashi will lead us, I will be the one to weaken the enemy, while emo teme will be the that will strike them down when they are at their lowest and Haruno-san will make sure we don't do anything stupid that will get us killed unless you guys have anything to add or said" Naruto said.

"Huh I always figure you be the one who always wants to be the one in all the action" Sasuke said.

"Oh I will be don't be mistaken, I will take down as many enemy as I can in a battle but you be the one to make sure they stay down" Naruto said.

"Hn it not that bad of a plan so I guess it can work" Sasuke said.

"It doesn't matter to me because no matter what happen Sasuke-kun will always be the one to recuse me" Sakura said with star in his eyes causing Sauske to twitch and Naruto to sweat-drop.

"Well if we do become a team we will have find some way to knock that fan-girl attitude out of her or it will get us or her kill" Naruto sighed and whispered to Sasuke.

"We better or else we will be short one team member by my hand" Sasuke said.

"Yo it look like you guys are getting along nicely now" Kakashi said.

"YOU'RE LATE!" Sakura yelled.

"Four hours late to be precise" Naruto deadpanned "And from now on I will keep a record of it and so far four hours is your current record for how late you are".

"That nothing once he was late for a whole day, hell the reason he not in his grave right now is because he late for his own death" Sakumo the ghost of Kakashi father said from behind him.

"Sorry I got lost on the path of life" Kakashi replied.

"That is somewhat true, he was mourning over friend at the memorial again" Sakumo said in a sad tone.

"Ah the path of life which lie between beach of broken hearts and the park of epiphany and also if you take a path to the right of it you will reach the Chamber of Not So Lost Technology from Alternative Universe or C.N.S.L.T.A.U for short" Naruto said.

"Baka don't encourage his lie" Sakura said.

"How do you know if he is lying?" Naruto asked.

"Because there no such thing as the path of life" Sakura replied.

"Really then they should change that sign for that path because everything I walk by it, it always say 'the path of life'. Now since Kakashi-sensei is here I think I should get ready for battle" Naruto said as pull off his hoodie and his clothes are replaced with a yellow armor v shape vest with an armor gantlet and knee pad, and skull mask over his face (Think of the scorpion from the Mortal Kombat games).

"What up with the costume change?" Kakashi asked.

"Because I want this battle to be awesome and this costume is the embodiment of awesomeness" Naruto replied.

"Dobe have you been wearing that underneath your clothes all this time?" Sasuke asked.

"Don't be silly teme it was seal in my necklets, all I did was active the seal to switch the clothing" Naruto replied.

"Okay let get this test started now I set the clock for noon. Your task is to take one of these two bells from me by noon. Those who can't get the bell by noon get no lunch and I will be tying them to one of these stumps and be eating my lunch right in front of them" Kakashi said wait for their stomach to growl but it didn't happen.

"You guys ate breakfast didn't you?" Kakashi asked.

"Nope we ate brunch and you said not to eat breakfast but didn't said anything about brunch" Naruto replied.

"Point, now you need only one bell to pass however if you don't get it then you will fail and be send back to the academy. So come at me with the intended to killed" Kakashi said.

"But you will be in danger if we do" Sakura said.

"Hmm if we kill will it count as voluntary manslaughter or second degree murder because I need to know what to tell my ninja lawyer if you end up dead sensei" Naruto commented.

"You know in the real world only those with no talent often boast like that, well ignoring what Mr. Dead Last comment and start when I say so" Kakashi said.

"Dead last huh" Naruto said then he pull out a kunai and charge at Kakashi.

"Whoa slow down there I haven't even said start yet" Kakashi said as he quickly got behind Naruto and stop his attack by grabbing Naruto's hand and point Naruto own kunai to the back of his head.

'No way I couldn't even see what he did' Sakura thought.

'So this is what a Jonin is like' Sasuke thought.

"Ah but a real ninja won't wait for his opponent to say they are ready to attack in order to attack, they attack their enemy when they least expected" Naruto replied.

"You make a good argument there and from the look of it you are prepared to come at me with the intent to kill, it seem that I'm beginning to like you guys" Kakashi said.

"Well as long as you like me as a friend or a student because I don't swing that way and I have a police to horribly maim and kill pedo on sight. Also Kakashi-sensei you said start" Naruto said as Kage Bunshin jump from behind Kakashi and try to get the bells but miss and dispel when Kakashi dodge and attack it.

'A Kage Bunshin huh and he created one and got it behind me with me barely noticing it, he more skill then I thought' Kakashi mused.

"Right I did say start so good luck and began" Kakashi said as the genin went to hide.

"Yoh Kakashi come and fights me!" Naruto exclaimed.

"You're a little bit off aren't you" Kakashi commented.

_With Sasuke_

"I can't believe that moron and for a moment I thought he have some skill when he make the Kage Bunshin and show me how to do the tree walking exercise" Sasuke said.

"From you I take that as a complement" Naruto said from behind Sasuke.

"What? When did you get there?" Sasuke asked.

"A few moments ago and I send a clone to get Haruno-san here to plan out an attack" Naruto said.

"Then the Naruto Kakashi is fight out there is a clone?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah and there more around to take its place if it get dispel, so we will have time to plan thing out" Naruto said.

"But there are…" Sasuke began but was interrupted by Sakura was tackling him.

"You know we are hiding here and make noise defeated the purpose there anyway let brainstorm on some idea for how to do this" Naruto said.

"But there are only two bells and one of us will have to fail" Sasuke said but thought 'maybe I can get rid of this creepy annoyed fan-girl'.

'There no way I will be separated from my Sasuke-kun' was on Sakura head.

"I don't think that the real objective of the test" Naruto commented.

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked.

"Tell me how many genin teams only have one or two genin in them?" Naruto asked them.

They stared blankly at him.

"Little to none, the only reason a team consists of a jonin and genin is if that jonin take that genin as his or her apprentice which is highly unlikely because he is testing all of us. The other reason a genin team has only one or two genin in them is either one or two of the pervious genin teammate are dead, retired or promoted after being on the team" Naruto answered.

"So you said that either all of pass or none of us pass" Sakura said.

"Right" Naruto said.

"Then what the main objected and how do we all passed?" Sasuke asked.

"Well, let think of this scenario you are being pursued by three enemy ninja and you need to take them down in order to survive and their two ways to do it one is to take all three of them out at once and the other?" Naruto asked them.

"The other way is to separated them from each other and take them out one by one which is what Kakashi is doing by having fight for those two bells when there are three of us" Sasuke said.

"Right doing so it make it easy for him to take us down because no normal genin will have a chance to take down a jonin however if we work together it make harder for him to do. So with that said do you know the main objective for this test?" Naruto asked.

"Teamwork, who thought you have a brain dobe" Sasuke muttered.

"Hmm maybe I heard how to pass this test from one of my ghostly friends" Naruto said.

"Did you" Sakura asked.

"Who know so do you guy have an idea on how to do this?" Naruto asked.

"I do let Sasuke-kun use his cool skill to beat Kakashi and get the bells for us" Sakura said.

"Umm no because that defeated the purpose of the test and you are delusional and we need to fix that if you are in our team because that kind of attitude will either get us or you kill" Naruto stated.

"You right kid she really need some sense know into her or it be trouble later on" Nanashi said beside him.

"Ero-seishin, Hikari-hime, mom, dad, Hashi-ojiisan and Tobi-ojiisan what are you guys doing here" Naruto asked blood and pseudo family.

"We can to see how you are doing with the test" Nanashi replied.

"So Hikari-hime drag you three pervert to keep you from peeking again right" Naruto deadpanned.

"Correct sorry we couldn't take you with us" Nanashi said.

"There no way in hell I would go Ero-seishin" Naruto replied.

"Um Naruto who are you talking to?" a confuse Sakura asked.

"My parent and people who I consider family" Naruto replied.

"There no one here so does that mean that they are you know" Sakura said.

"Ghost, yeah any back to what we are planning" Naruto replied.

"Doesn't it creepy you out that he is talking to the dead Sasuke-kun" Sakura whispered to her crush.

"Not really I mean he get a second chance to be with his family" Sasuke replied with a sad tone.

"You know I can hear you guys and it not my second chance but my first because they died right after I was born so I never got the chance to meet them until recently and you will get you second chance soon Sasuke but for now focus on the test. So here what I am thinking, we let my Kage Bunshin fight him, to analyze his skill while at the same time tired him out. Then we will wait for an opening than we shall strike me with my wind jutsu and teme with his fire jutsu because combine those two element will make the attack stronger than normal. Haruno-san you will back us up with genjutsu or kunai and shuriken. While he is dealing with us three one of my clones will try to get the bells" Naruto said.

"Hn, I guess we go along with that plan for now, so now let see what he and your Kage Bunshin can do" Sasuke replied.

_Back with Kakashi and the Kage Bunshin_

"The basics of being a ninja is to hide yourself well, what you are doing it not very ninja like" Kakashi stated.

"Ah but because I am such an uber-ninja that I can hide in plain sight" Naruto said as he got in his Muay Thai stance.

"Ninja fighting lesson number one Taijutsu, I'll teach you all about it" Kakashi said as he pull out an orange Icha Icha Paradise book.

"That book why the hell are you reading that book in front of me, especially while when we are fighting right now" Naruto said pointing at Kakashi with an eye twitch.

"Why? Because I want to read what happens next but don't worry because it won't make a difference against you guys" Kakashi said flip the page.

"That it once my book is publish next week I make sure it out sold that one and also I going to kick your ass Ero-Kakashi" Naruto said as he became calm and his blue eyes which look like it hold the endless blue sky narrowed while a corporeal of a legendary warrior appear behind him.

_With the Real Naruto and Other_

"Why Kami why do all my sensei have to be pervert" Naruto said crying to the heaven with anime tears.

"**Because your life is a comedy"** Kami replied.

"Everyone is out to corrupt me and turn me into a smut reading, bathhouse peeping, skirt chasing pervert" Naruto said rock back and forth.

"Yes so join us we have cookies, hot mouthwatering cookies" Nanashi said.

"NEVER" Naruto yelled at Nanashi.

"Okay forgetting the mental breakdown you having right now what fighting style are you using, it doesn't look like the academy style or any I see before also what with that thing behind the clone?" Sasuke asked.

"The fighting style is Muay Thai as for the thing behind the clone it is a result of my Kekkei Genkai, it cause an image of something to appear that reflect my emotions state" Naruto replied.

"Muay Thai?" Sakura said.

"Yeah or also known as 'Art of Eight Limbs' and you will see why, it was taught to me by Ero-seishin" Naruto said.

"A ghost taught you hand to hand combat, how aren't they like intangible" Sakura said.

"Yeah, we may never fought hand to hand but he show and correct me on the stances and moves while I practice it on my Kage Bunshin" Naruto said while munching on some popcorn.

His teammates stare at him when they saw that he was eating.

"Umm you guys want some?" Naruto asked.

"Why the hell do you have popcorn dobe?" Sasuke asked.

"More importantly how much food do you carry with you, first the big lunch yesterday, then this morning brunch and now popcorn" Sakura added.

"To answer your question to why it is because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of enjoying quality food when they watch a show like the one that we are about to see. As to how much food I have I don't know off the top of my head as I carry almost everything with me including the kitchen sink and haven't recently taken in the inventory. So do you guys want some" Naruto said.

"Hn" Sasuke said grapping a handful of popcorn.

"Sure" Sakura said.

_Back to Kakashi _

"Get ready Ero-Kakashi, here I come" Naruto said as charge and did a jumping punch but Kakashi block while still reading his book.

"Ero-Kakashi what happen to Kakashi-sensei huh?" Kakashi as he blocked Naruto's spinning heel kick.

"You get the sensei title back once you become our sensei and teach us something" Naruto said with an elbow slash which Kakashi dodge and got behind him.

"Well if you want me to teach you something then I shall teach you that a ninja isn't supposed to get caught from behind" Kakashi said behind with a tora hand seal.

"Konohagakure Hiden Tijutsu Ogi: Sennen Goroshi (Leaf Village Secret Finger Jutsu: One Thousand Years of Death)" Kakashi poking Naruto's bottom which cause him to fly and then poof into smoke because it was a Kage Bunshin.

'Another Kage Bunshin huh so that what he means when he said that he was hiding in plain sight, he made me think that I was fighting him when he actually hiding in the shadow, he more talented than what the academy report said' Kakashi thought.

_With the Other_

"I can't believe he just did that he would never do something like this when we were a team" Obito in crow form said.

"Oh he is so going to pay I get all the memory of the clone so now my butt have phantom pain. Okay all KB-unit show him to mercy" Naruto said to a clone and dispel it to send the meassage to the other Kage Bunshin.

"On the bright side he shows me a new way to humiliate my enemies, mahaha" Naruto laughed as corporeal of the Grim Reaper appeared behind him.

'They are both insane' his other teammate thought.

"Anyway you guys should get ready, wait for the signal and then attack" Naruto said.

"What the signal?" Sakura asked.

"A booth to the face" Naruto said with a foxy grin.

"A what?" Sasuke asked.

"A booth to the face just wait and see" Naruto replied.

_Back with Kakashi_

One of Naruto's Kage Bunshin steps out while shaking.

"Huh didn't figure you be the one to get scared but you need to get one of these bells if you want to pass" Kakashi said but then saw he was not shaking with fear but was laughing.

"Bells, pass, you think after what you did that I am concern about that, no what I want is retribution, what I want is for you to pay. Mugen no Sora, and you will pay me back tenfold" Naruto said while continue to laugh and unleashing a little kill intent causing corporeal of the Grim Reaper to appear. With Mugen no Sora in his hand he looks like he became the Grim Reaper.

"A staff huh do you think it will make a different?" Kakashi said.

"Oh this is no ordinary staff" Naruto said channel chakra to it cause a blade to appear at the top of it, then Naruto charge at him.

"A scythe huh, well Ninja fighting lesson number two Genjutsu, Magen: Narakumi no Jutsu(Demonic Illusion: Hell Viewing Technique)" Kakashi said while doing a few hand seal and trapping Naruto in an illusion.

"Oh Ero-Kakashi when you said that a ninja isn't supposed to get caught off guard from behind you should follow you own advice" Another Naruto said appear next to him.

"A squirrel?" Kakashi said when he saw behind him a woodland creature.

"Not just any squirrel but one of my suicide squirrel squad, Bunshin Daibakuha (Shadow Clone Explosion)" Naruto said causing the cute woodland creature to explode forcing Kakashi to jump out of the way.

"They are a part of my exploding woodland creature series, I also have the zoo and chibi animal series and recently working on farm animals" Naruto added.

'He created a series of jutsu by combing the Bunshin Daibakuha (Shadow Clone Explosion) and Henge no Jutsu (Transform Technique) to created exploding animal, somehow I feel this will led to something bad' Kakashi thought.

"Making thing explode is not the only thing I can do it just something I like to do. Now to bind you, Chakurachen (Chakra Chains) get over here" Naruto said making a kunai attach to chain shot out of his hand toward Kakashi but he jump back to dodge however more of Naruto's Kage Bunshin appeared.

"Now get a taste of my Futon: Kaze-ju Surasshu (Wind Style: Wind Beast Slash)" each of the Kage Bunshin said as invisible claw like scratch appear from each of them when they slash with their scythe.

"Ninja fighting lesson number three Ninjutsu Doton: Doryuheki (Earth Style: Mud Wall)" Kakashi said blocking the attack with a wall of earth.

"Wind Release huh, though I wonder who taught you that jutsu because I never seen it before" Kakashi said he put his book away and charge in for an attack.

"Yeah it my elemental nature affinity as for who taught me that attack it was my tiger friend from the forest" Naruto replied blocking the attack with his scythe. Then another Kage Bunshin jump above from the Naruto in front to do downward swing which Kakashi jump only to have another Kage Bunshin to appear from the side to slash his arm.

"Hmm it seem that you attack did not hurt or cut for that matter but it leave a strange seal on it" Kakashi said observing the place where Naruto slash at him.

"Oh it didn't because I didn't want it to cut or hurt but that mark there will sever a purpose, Nise no Genjitsu: Tobu e no Buto no Jutsu (False Reality: Boot to the Head Technique)" Naruto said as a boot appear out of thin air and came flying toward Kakashi's face.

"Kai" Kakashi said thinking it was genjutsu but when it didn't dispel he try to dodge it but the boot change it trajectory in midair and slam into his face.

_With the other_

"That was the signal right" Sasuke deadpanned

"Yep" Naruto replied.

"Let go then" Sasuke signed.

"Right" Saukra replied.

"Ah he learns to like that jutsu as I do" Nanashi mused.

_Back with Kakashi_

'Okay that was not a genjutsu because my face is bruise and there is a shoe imprint on my face too, so what kind of jutsu make a boot appear and for what reason, maybe a space and time jutsu' Kakashi ponder but did have to think on it as the rest of the genin appear and began their assault.

Sakura threw a bunch of shuriken follow by kunai and senbon at Kakashi.

"Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu (Fire style: Great Fireball Technique)" Sasuke said blowing a huge fireball at Kakahsi.

"Futon: Kaze-ju Toboe (Wind Style: Wind Beast Howl)" Naruto said adding the howling wind attack to the fire make the attack bigger and burn hotter. Once the attack clears Kakashi disappeared.

"Where is he?" Sasuke asked.

"Be careful he's underground and going to attack one of us from below. When I said…" Naruto began but was stop went a hand from below gap his leg.

"Doton: Shinju Zanshu no Jutsu (Earth Style: Double Suicide Decapitation Technique)" Kakashi as he drag Naruto down.

"Nice try Ero-Kakashi" the real Naruto appear behind him stab him in the back with Mugen no Sora in spear form.

"Hehe now that you are marked I going to make you pay for what you did to me, Seishin o Kowasu Mono: Tipotto no Pafomansu (Spirit Breaker: Teapot Performance)" Naruto said with an evil grin.

"I'm a little teapot, Short and stout," Kakashi began to sing unable to stop himself.

"If I let him go he won't be able to do anything until he finishes 'The Teapot Song', however as long as leave the charka blade of the spear in him I can feed my chakra to the receiver that I mark on him to continue to cast the jutsu on him and keep him from doing anything. So you two get the bells now while I hold on to him" Naruto said.

"Here is my handle," Kakashi continue to sing with one hand on his hip as Naruto's other teammate move closer.

"Here is my spout," Kakashi sing with the other arm out with elbow and wrist bent as Sasuke and Sakura gap the bells.

"When I get all steamed up, Hear me shout," Kakashi sing and Naruto let go.

"Tip me up and pour me out!" Kakashi finish up by lean over toward spout arm while a clone got it all on tape from a distance.

"That a scary jutsu you have there, Naruto I couldn't stop what I was doing. I didn't know you have a jutsu to control people action" Kakashi said.

"The jutsu didn't force you to do anything, it amplified you desire to perform such action, so deep down in heart somewhere there the desire for you to perform 'The Teapot Song' and the jutsu just brought it to the surface" Naruto stated.

'Huh an unusable jutsu but funny to use on people I wonder if it is possible to learn such jutsu" Kakashi thought.

"And the thing about it, it is a Kekkei Genkai based jutsu so unless someone has the same Kekkei Genkai as me they can't use it against me" Naruto said.

'Damn but did he said he have a Kekkei Genkai, hopeful we get to know what it is I wonder if it has something to with the mark he made when he stab and cut me with his staff' Kakashi pondered.

"Oh Ero-Kakashi you don't think your punishment is done yet for what you did to me, the receiver I mark is still there meaning I still can perform one more jutsu on. So take my Nise no Genjitsu: Yokujo no Fantaji (False Reality: Bathhouse Fantasy)" Naruto said causing Kakshi to be in a giant bathtub surrounded by busty attractive women cover in nothing but towel which cause him to fall back due to the blood shooting out of his nose and pass out.

"Now that he is knock out I will accomplish the super double S-rank mission of finding out what under Ero-Kakashi mask. Hmm a seal to keep people from see I can deal with that" Naruto said getting rid of the seals.

"So this is why he wears a mask without it he will end up getting rape by fan-girl" Naruto said taking a picture of Kakashi handsome face that will cause fan-girl to rape him.

"Now with that done let get some prank and blackmail picture that we can use against him then head to Hokage to see if we pass or not. You guys want to help" Naruto said to his other teammate.

"Hn" Sasuke said as he and Sakura join in blackmail their unconscious sensei.

_At the Hokage Tower_

"Now since Kakashi an hour late so far and going to be late a few more hour let being with which genin team pass or fail" the Third said.

"Man even when he unconscious and us dragging him he still manages to be able to be a least an hour late" Naruto said enter the room with an unconscious Kakashi in a pink dress follow by his other teammate.

"Do I want to know what happen here Naruto" the Hokage asked while other looks on with amused on their faces.

"Well I could tell you but it is funnier if I show since I got it all on tape" Naruto said as he pull out a scroll and unseal big screen plasma TV attached to a chakra power electric generator.

"You weren't kidding when you said you carry everything including the kitchen sink" Sasuke deadpanned and sweat-dropped along with everyone else.

"Yep I carry everything with me" Naruto replied as he connects his camcorder to the TV.

"Now let's skip when he molest my clone and get to where we own him" Naruto said as he fast-forward.

"Molest your clone?" Hokage asked.

"Konohagakure Hiden Tijutsu Ogi: Sennen Goroshi (Leaf Village Secret Finger Jutsu: One Thousand Years of Death) but a least I got a new way to humiliate my enemies, also it is a good thing it was my clone and not me because if it was then he will be dead and horribly maimed" Naruto replied while everyone sweat-drop again.

"I have to talk to Kakashi about let you know such jutsu" the Hokage sighed.

"Ah but that where I get my kick and giggles anyway here where we made Ero-Kakashi look like a noob" Naruto said playing the video where Kakashi did "The Teapot Song" and everyone laughs their ass off when they saw.

"Okay let see which of my classmate pass then wake up Ero-Kakashi so he can pass my team" Naruto said.

"Why are you calling Kakashi Ero and what make you think you team pass when he haven't tell you yet" Kurenai asked.

"Because he read that orange smut that my novel will out sold once it come out next week in front of us and he will pass us if he know what good for him" Naruto said while Kurenai frown when she heard him mention that Kakashi read smut in front of them.

"Kid, are you threating your jonin sensei" Asuma asked.

"No I would of think of doing such thing I actually going to blackmail him" Naruto replied innocently as everyone stare at him.

"What if we are able to blackmail a jonin then that mean we have enough skill to be genin" Naruto replied.

"The kid got a point there though I wonder what he has on Kakashi" Anko said.

"Anko nee-san you here and it look like I don't get those episodes when I see you but for some reasons I still do when I see spork. Anyhoo do you have snack for me" Naruto said.

"Just these bag of treat I stole from some brat here Naru nii-chan" Anko said handle Naruto the bag of candy.

"Thank" Naruto said digging into the sweet while Kuernai stare at her friend.

"What?" Anko asked.

"You stole candy from children" Kuernai deadpanned.

"If he wanted them he should of use better skilled to hold on to them" Anko replied.

"Naruto remember your legal sugar intake level" the Hokage stated.

"Okay, oh yeah I also forget I accomplish the super double S-rank mission of finding out what under Ero-Kakashi mask, here the picture of it" Naruto said shocking everyone there.

"Hehe I see why he were a mask now" the Hokage said while other took a peek from behind causing many kunoichi to blush.

"Now let get back to who our new genin will be" the Hokage said.

"I, Kurenai Yuhi jonin sensei of Hyuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba, and Aburame Shino pass team 8. Though Hinata have self-esteem issue, Kiba is really reckless and Shino is really silent but with Hinata Kekkei Genkai and tijutsu, Kiba sense and Akamaru and Shino bugs they work well together and make a great tracking team" Kurenai said.

"I, Sarutobi Asuma jonin sensei of Yamanaka Ino, Akimichi Choji, and Nara Shikamaru pass team 10. Shikamaru is really lazy but is a genius, Ino is bossy but skill in her family jutsu and Choji like to eat a lot but is strong. They have exceptional team work and may become the new Ino-Shika-Cho formation" Asuma said.

"Huh where am I and how come I am in a dress" Kakashi said just waking up.

"Because it clash with your eye Ero-Kakashi" Naruto said sitting next to his teammate in the back while Kakashi glared at him.

"Nice of you to join us Kakashi so did you team pass or not?" the Hokage asked.

"Well I don't know should I let them pass or not" Kakashi pondered.

"Hey Ero-Kakashi if you don't pass the whole village will see how youthful you are" Naruto said.

"You didn't" Kakashi said while paling.

"Oh I did" Naruto said handling him a picture.

"What to keep me from destroying this picture?" Kakashi asked.

"Who said that the only one or that I have the negative with me" Naruto said.

"Fine I, Kakashi…" Kakashi stated but was interrupted by someone kicking in the door.

"Konoha Senpu (Leaf Whirlwind)" Guy said entering the room.

"Now that I am here we just have to wait for my hip rival Kakashi" Guy said.

"Hey Guy" Kakashi said pull out Icha Icha Paradise book.

"Oh no I am later than my hip rival" Guy said crying anime tears.

"Hey Bushier Brows Sensei how you doing" Naruto greeted him.

"Ah Naruto-san my Lee's Kohai what are you doing here?" Guy asked.

"Huh sorry Bushier Brows Sensei did you say something" Naruto said digging out another sweet and popping in his mouth.

"Ah damn you Kakashi infecting the youth with you young and hip attitude" Guy said pointing at Kakashi.

"Huh sorry Guy did you say something" Kakashi replied while everyone else was sweat-dropping and worry if Naruto will follow Kakashi late habit.

"Anyway Kakashi back to what you were saying about you team" the Hokage said.

"Right because they were able to work together I pass team 7" Kakashi said shocking other that he final pass a team.

"Really now" the Hokage said raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, Sakura who I wasn't able to see much of her skill was able to work together with the other by provide back up by using shuriken, kunai and senbon doing their team attack. Sasuke was able to perform a high level fire jutsu when they were attack together while Naruto enhanced Sasuke's fire jutsu with his wind jutsu. Now Naruto skill is what surprises me the most because his ability was different from what I conclude from the academy report" Kakashi.

"Yeah right, the Uchiha most likely did all the work I bet the demon…" A random jonin started but was silence by Anko with a punch to the face.

"Don't you dare said such thing about my nii-chan or else" Anko said with an evil grin.

"Thank for having my back Anko nee-san" Naruto said.

"Back to what I was saying while they were hiding Naruto made Kage Bunshin, who I thought was him to, stand out in the open to engage in a tijutsu battle with a style I never seen before" Kakashi said.

"Muay Thai or Shaolin Kung-Fu Naruto-san?" Guy asked Naruto.

"Muay Thai for hand to hand combat than Shaolin Kung-Fu when I use my staff" Naruto replied.

"So you the one who taught him to tijutsu style huh Guy" Kakashi said.

"No I not the one who taught him those style but I see him use them when he spar with Lee from time to time" Guy said.

"Right after I…" Kakashi continued.

"Molest my Kage Bunshin" Naruto stated.

"Use that tijutsu move he send in another Kage Bunshin who pull out a staff and channel chakra to it and form a blade to make the staff into a scythe which I swear I saw the image of death behind him. Anyway I put that Bunshin in a genjutsu but he send another more out and one of them was Henge as a squirrel that explode next to me, did you know he made a series of jutsu for exploding animals" Kakashi said.

"Unfortunately yes because of his unusual interest in explosion he is not allow to test out his new explosive tags within a hundred kilometer of Konoha" the Hokage said.

"And took the funs of using my colorful and destructive art of explosion from me all because someone accidently confused a tracking seal with one of my untested explosive tag that was use on a missing-nin. You guy did catch him in the end alive and that explosion was awesome, I mean come on it create a fiery crimsons phoenix raining thousand fireball down to earth" Naruto said while everyone sweat-drop at such a flashy display of firework.

_Somewhere in the Element Country _

"Someone out there possessed the art of explosion that rival mine hm. I must meet him um" said Deidara the explosive missing-nin of Iwagakure.

"Your explosion is not art, art is eternal" Said Sasori the puppet master.

"Art is a bang" Deidara said.

_Back at the Hokage Tower_

"Come on I know someone here appreciate my explosive arts" Naruto stated.

"Hey can I get some of those explosive tags?" Sasuke asked.

"Ah I knew you appreciate them, sure I give you some and give you a teammate discount" Naruto said.

"What I have to buy them I thought you give them to me for free" Sasuke said.

"I would but sealing ink is not cheap nor tag paper" Naruto said. 

"Yeah back to what happen during the test after the exploding woodland critter he tries to bind me with Chakurachen (Chakra chains) but miss then move to using wind jutsu combine with using his scythe. When he slash me it didn't cut nor hurt but left a strange mark which I believe he used to be able to use his unusual jutsu that cause a boot to hit me in the face" Kakahsi said.

"Hmm so did you master the Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) based jutsu that Nanashi taught you Naruto?" the Hokage asked.

"Yeah I master all that Nanashi taught me and now creating a few of my own" Naruto said.

"Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God)?" Kakashi asked.

"Naruto's Kekkei Genkai which we shall revealed during the council meeting right after this and if you want to know you can come along to the meet and your teammate can come too if they want Naruto" the third said.

"Sure it beat having to talk about multiply time" Naruto said.

"Okay after that they attack together and I try to catch them off-guard by attacking from underground but make the mistake of attacking of Naruto's Kage Bunshin which get him to use one of his special jutsu" Kakashi said.

"And make Ero-Kakashi sing the 'The Teapot Song'" Naruto added as everyone snicker at the memory of it.

"Yeah that anyway he give the opportunity for his teammate to get the bells and can you call me sensei now since I pass you making me your sensei now" Kakashi finish off.

"Yeah sure Ero-Kakashi-sensei" Naruto said.

"I guess that the best I could do, anyway from what I see I believe Naruto to be prodigy like Sasuke but doesn't show it in the academy for some reason" Kakahsi said.

"Well ninja is a master of deception and I just doing what a ninja is required to do and also lessen the abuse from those who hate me believe I am not a threat" Naruto stated.

"You really don't have hold yourself back because of other" the Hokage said.

"I know and also I not a prodigy it just I have to deal with a lot of perverted sadist sensei with high expectation of me and a lot of free time with nothing to do but train, it like I have a lot of friends to hang out with or a family to spend time with" Naruto said.

"Naruto you should really stop train until you collapse from exhaustion, you really scary me the last time I found you asleep in the Forest of Death" the Hokage lectured.

"What I am friend with those forest tiger and they won't let anything happen to me" Naruto pouted.

"I know, I know but it still worries me sometime, now with that done you all are dismissed. Now Team 7 let head to the council meeting" the Hokage said.

_The Council Meeting Room_

'Wow there are a lot of clan heads here and I have to make a good impression as the future Hokage' Naruto thought.

"Whazup my ninja" Naruto exclaimed to everyone as his new sensei and teammates face fault to his antic while the Hokage just chuckled.

"Baka" Sakura said.

"Dobe" Sasuke added.

"We need to work on your tact" Kakashi stated.

"Uzumaki-san what are doing here we are having a council meeting right now" Hiashi Hyuga said.

"Oh the meeting is about me Hyuga-sama" Naruto said.

"So you do have some tact" Kakashi said.

"Yes but I don't do it much because it is boring and make me feel old" Naruto stated.

"Is it about it" Inoichi asked.

"Huh no it not about furball, well it is related to it but does not involved it. Beside you guys should not worry about it because it had been taken care of a long time ago" Naruto stated confusing his teammate about it.

"And what do you mean it has been taken care of a long time ago?" Danzo asked come in follow by the civilian council member.

"Ah creepy one-eyed old dude what the hell is he doing he, oh also the civilian council members too, because what we are dealing with here is ninja business so only ninja council members needed to be here" Naruto said.

"Watch your tongue demon brat" one of civilian council member stated.

"Okay but I don't know why" Naruto said stick out his tongue and try to watch causing some of the people there to snort.

"That what I want to know too, I called the ninja council to deal with ninja business" the Hokage stated.

"Hokage if it about it, it will affect us civilian" another civilian council member stated.

"Yeah and my daughter is teammate with him" Sakura's mother stated.

"I don't know why civilian council is here but I am here for my own reason and still waiting for an explanation from Uzumaki-san" Danzo stated.

"Hmm don't feel like telling you creepy one-eyed old dude because you look like some evil villain that work from the shadow planning evil deeds" Naruto stated while other try not to laugh at his statement.

"You should show respect to your elder Uzumaki-san" Danzo said.

"Respect should be earned creepy one-eyed old dude" Naruto stated.

"You are trying my patience boy now tell me what do you mean when you said it has been taken care of" Danzo growled.

"You know if you talk about it Ojiisan can have you arrested" Naruto stated.

"What is it that everyone is talking about" Sasuke asked.

"We can't tell you Uchiha-sama for fear of execution" A civilian council member stated.

"Ojiisan because they are my teammate I was going to tell them about it eventually but you might as well tell them now" Naruto sighed looking away.

"Are you sure Naruto?" the Hokage asked.

"Yeah and if they don't want to be my teammate after this you can make arrangement for any changes that are need to be made" Naruto said looking down.

"Okay Sasuke-san and Sakura-san what I about to tells you is a village secret that you cannot talk about nor tell anyone about or you will face execution do you understand" the Hokage stated as both nodded.

"As you know 12 year ago the Kyuubi no Kitsune attack the village but was defeated by our Fourth Hokage but the Kyuubi wasn't killed but instead seal in a child. That child to this day is protecting this village by being the jailer of the Kyuubi no Kitsune and keeping it contain. In order for him to live a normal life it was kept a secret form the younger generation and a law was pass to keep other from talking about it" the Hokage said.

"So you saying is Naruto is that child right" Sauske said.

"Yes but you must understand that he not the Kyuubi but it jailer" the Hokage said.

"The thing that you said that you didn't want to talk about was this huh dobe?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes I was afraid that you guys will hate me for it just like everyone else or think I was the fox" Naruto said.

"Well I know you are definitely not the fox because it definitely orange jumpsuit wearing idoits like you" Sasuke replied.

"Hey, that jumpsuit was good for stealth training and repels fan-girls" Naruto stated.

"But Hokag-sama wasn't it dangerous for him walk around with the fox seal in him, it could of break free or possess him" Sakura said get a disappointed look from Kakashi and Sasuke while Naruto just look sad.

"Not really the seal was created by the Fourth who was a seal master and it work perfectly allowing a small amount of it chakra to mix with my. The only way the fox will ever have a chance to influence me before and it was really was a small chance was when I was in a life-threatening situations or if I was really anger. I mean every time some idiot was trying to beat me to death because they thought they were kill the demon I swear I could hear it laughing said that it be free soon thank to the idiot that dooming himself" Naruto said.

"Should have killed you when we have the chance" Someone muttered.

"Well killing me would cause the fox to be dead for some time but it will live again" Naruto said.

"What do you mean it would live again, should it be gone once it dies?" Kakashi asked with interested.

"Well from what Kurama said he is a living forms of chakra and chakra is energy and energy can't be made or destroy just converted, so because of that if I ended up dead Kurama chakra would be displace around where I die but over time it will reform and he will be reborn and you have to find someone to seal it again to contain, however he stated that unless the host is the same as me that person won't live long or will not be able to contain it. The only reason he does not want to die is because after he is reborn he will be weaker than the Ichibi and there no way he let that happen" Naruto stated.

"Uzumaki are you saying that not only do you know the name of the demon but also talk to it?" Danzo asked.

"Che he doesn't said much other than complain how weak I am or what prank to do" Naruto said.

"Naruto should be careful with dealing with it, you can't trust it" Kakashi said.

"Like I said there nothing to worry about I took care of it" Naruto said.

"And what do you mean you took care of it?" Danzo pressing on.

"Well if you really want to know I took Kurama chakra from him essentially his power away from him so he can't influence me, so have total control over him and I can draw from his power without worry. After I took his chakra a new seals was form so the fox for the most part can't do anything without my said so and it is back by the deal with the Shinigami, here I show you how powerless he is now Kurama no Mon: Reberu 1 Ririsu (Gate of Kurama: Level 1 Release)" Naruto said as he called out Kurama.

"**I am the Kyuubi no Kitsune fear me"** Kurama said as everyone else was blinking at the chibi fox.

"Yeah the chibi look is working against you" Naruto said.

"**Curse you Shinigami look at you reduces me to"** Kurama cry anime tears.

"Not was that really necessary" the Hokage rubbing his forehead.

"I just show them they have nothing to worry about and hopeful stop placing their hated on me, oh and Kurama apologize to everyone for attacking the village" Naruto said.

"**But I told you it wasn't my fault I was under control by that teme"** Kurama whined.

"I know however there was a lot of destruction and death so do it for good faith and if you don't I will put you in the box of believe it" Naruto said.

"**Damn you no one should here you said 'believe it' for hours. Fine I sorry to I cause so much destruction even though it was not my fault that I was under someone control" **Kurama said.

Once that happen all the ninja try to perform kia while the civilian jaw dropped.

"Hmm this meeting more interesting than I thought it would be" Naruto said sitting down on a comfy chair he unseal while eating some snack he brought with him.

"Hokage-sama is this really happen and it some big prank set up by Uzumaki-san" Hiashi Hyuga said.

"I am afraid not" the Hokage stated.

"So now everyone knows it not a threat anymore can we excuse the creepy one-eyed old dude and civilian council so we can get back to ninja business" Naruto said.

"And this ninja business wouldn't have to do with your Kekkei Genkai would it Uzumaki-san?" Danzo asked shocking people there.

"Wow you really well inform but I guessing you don't know what it is or what it can do" Naruto stated.

"No but now I know you possess a Kekkei Genkai so tell what it" Danzo demanded.

"Kekkei Genkais I have two and no I won't tell you" Naruto said.

"Watch your tongue boy and I will make you tell me by any means" Danzo threaten.

"How by using your stolen Kekkei Genkai you bloodline thief" Naruto said glaring at him shocking people there.

"Naruto what would make you said such time?" the Hokage asked.

"Because it is true, I know what you are hiding under those bandage of your because you are not the only one who work with ghost in this village" Naruto said glaring intently at Danzo.

"You boy know too much and need to be dealt with" Danzo as he took off his bandage revealing his implants as he use genjutsu on everyone and Kotoamatsukami (Distinguished Heavenly Gods) to enter Naruto mind to control him.

_Inside Naruto mindscape_

"What the…where am I" Danzo said to himself. Looking around he saw that he was stand on the surface of endless sea that reflect the sky. As for the sky it was the strangest twilight sky he ever saw for one side was total day with a bright sun and clouds, the other was total night with a bright moon and countless stars, and at the middle both side bled into each other like a cosmic maelstrom. At the center was giant sphere floating about the surface of the water and when looks at it he saw he was look at council meeting room.

"I went with the twilight sky because with it I can enjoy both the wonder of night and day" Naruto said as his voice could be heard all around.

"Boy well the hells are we and where are you" Danzo growled.

"I thought it was obvious after all you use that jutsu to enter my mind to control me" Naruto replied from everywhere.

"So we are in your mind, where are you" Danzo said.

"Here" Naruto said as what was thought to be a city surfacing but turn out to be multiply island as ascending to the sky as they float above the sea freely as birds. Naruto was sitting on the edge of the largest sky island at the center.

"And yes we are in my mind, well the other layer you know the stuff we think about when we space out while all my memory and juicy stuff are inside the island and city. Anyway coming in here wasn't a smart move for two reasons, one is that I have better gasp on my mind because reason two" Naruto said.

"And what is reason two?" Danzo asked.

"That I also thought was obvious because my body share two souls meaning two minds, so not only do you have to deal with me but my roommate too which is bad for you because the jutsu you use only work with one mind one body scenario" Naruto said.

"Other mind you don't mean…" Danzo began but stop when a large shadow cast over him. Behind him was a great ancient forest but that wasn't what caught his eye, it the mountain size nine-tailed fox that was moving close to him and with each step it took the forest follow by bleeding into the sea.

"That right there also Kurama or as you know him as Kyuubi no Kitsune, anyway Kurama once you done using the creepy one-eyed old dude as a chew toy spit him out of our mind" Naruto said.

_Outside Naruto Mindscape_

Danzo collapse and scream in pain giving Naruto the opening to throw a chakra knife at him marking him with a seal.

"So that what happen to you after you becomes Kurama chew toy, phantom pain and a really bad hangover anyway. Fune o Noroi: Muryokuna Cho Taikoku (Curse Vessel: Powerless Superpower)" Naruto said as the jutsu deactivating all of Danzo stole Mangekyo Sharingaan and ten regular Sharingan breaking everyone out the genjutsu.

"You bastard why the hells do you have so many of my clan Kekkei Genkai" Sasuke growled as every glared angrily at him.

"Danzo I can't believe you did something like this" the Hokage growled.

"Not only does he have the Sharingan implant in him but also First Hokage cells too, so he also stole Mokuton (Wood Style) Kekkei Genkai too. However the way here attains it make it imperfect compare to the original" Naruto said causing everyone to look at Danzo with murder glares as Danzo began to make hand seal to escape.

"Oh no you don't, Tree let show how a true Mokuton work" Naruto said soul linking with Tree.

"As you wish Naruto-sama, I shall lend you my power" Tree said.

"Okay Mokuton: Chakura no Kyuketsuki no Ki (Wood Style: Chakra Vampire Tree)" Naruto said as a tree grew out of the cells of First Hokage in Danzo right arm binding him and drain his chakra shocking everyone that Naruto use Mokuton.

"Those eyes don't belong to you so let take them away from you Mokuton: Bodirchiburanchi (Wood Style: Body Leech Branch)" Naruto said as the branch of the tree extract the eyes and dumping them into a sack the tree grew once it was done the tree roll the sack to Naruto,

"Here Ojiisan you deal with this" Naruto said giving the Hokage the sack.

"Yeah, yeah I can do what the great 'Holy Log' can do but I don't have it gift, I tell you all how I can do it once I deal with this trash" Naruto said as he wrote a seal on a piece of paper and wrap it around a kunai and then threw it at the tree that bind Danzo.

"Fuinjutsu: Kekkei Genkai Ukketsu Fuin (Sealing Techniques: Bloodline Limit Stasis Seal), okay that should make the stolen Kekkei Genkai lie dormant unless he does a certain something to himself then all trace of the stolen Kekkei Genkai is destroy and it will be painful for him to take a number one" Naruto stated.

"Could you use a safer Fuinjutsu?" the Hokage asked.

"Yes if I did care about how the side effect affect him but I don't" Naruto said.

"You won't get away I won't let a weapon like you get away from me, Root!" Danzo said as Root agent came out.

"Hmm the ghost people are coming out in the open huh well I guess Operation: Rebirth is a go" Naruto said.

"Hai Naruto-taichou" said most of the Root ninja as they began to take out the member that didn't response to Naruto.

"Umm Naruto is there something thing you want to tell me?" the Hokage asked.

"Well I accidently discover the Root headquarter in the bowels of Konoha, de-brainwash and give back the humanity of most of the root agents, remove the cursed seal on their tongue, turn them against Danzo while at the same time loyal to Konoha and right know they are take down Root and free themselves from Danzo control" Naruto said with a straight face.

"You know you been do the impossible lately" the Hokage said.

"Oh I know" Naruto replied.

"Naruto-taichou what are you order?" a soon to be former Root member asked.

"Continue with the plan, take the prisoners which include Danzo to ANBU to be interrogated and have all the members who are loyal to Konoha to wait for the Hokage to see what will happen next" Naruto said.

"Umm Naruto I am the Hokage so I will give the order and my order is to follow what he said" the Hokage said to make it look like he still in charge.

"Damn you not only did you took me down but also my organization and Konoha two greatest Kekkei Genkai. With two Kekkei Genkai of your own I can only image how powerful you, I could have made you the greatest weapon there is if only I can get my hand on you" Danzo said.

"It is pointless to make me into something I already am. I am a weapon however I am not a weapon to be used for the sake of you, the Hokage or the village but villagers that live here, mainly the innocent one that treat me decently. Sure most of the villagers treat me like crap but the village function the way it does because of them and make it lively which make those who I care for me and I for them have happy and peaceful for place to called home. The people I care for are precious to me and the fact that they are willing to share their happiness with me makes my pain bearably to live with. A weapon, a demon, a monster called me anything you what to called me because I will be any of those if it means that I can protect them and keep them safe however what I won't be is someone like you, you who ruined people life and casually sacrifice other for you own selfish desires. I will stop you because as long as I live I will protect as many innocent people I can and keep other from living the curse life that I live" Naruto said as everyone hang onto his word.

"Sacrifices are necessary and shinobi should be willing to risk their life for the village" Danzo said.

"What you said may be true however you are will to threw away live like cheap kunai to gain what you want and not for the village, I however try my best to preserve as many life I can while trying my best to accomplish a goal because the more people there are the more there is to fight for" Naruto said.

"You are foolish to not only hold onto such notion but to continue for fight for other who hate you. Join me and I can give you a greater purpose to live for that you never got from the village" Danzo said as last desperate attend to get away.

"Join you because you can give a purpose in life ha, I already have a purpose in life and that is to be a protector. This a path that I was born to fulfill, destine to walk and choose of my own free will to take. I may be foolish to continue to protect other who doesn't deserve it but I shed so much blood and tear for them already a little more make no different. Now I am done talking to scum who plague village take him away to be dealt with so he can never poison this village again" Naruto said as Danzo was drag away.

"Naruto when you said those things you look so much like your father" the Hokage said to him.

"Naah I more awesome than that baka, now can we back to the meeting because there is something important that we must attend to once I tell you everything" Naruto said with a serious tone as he pause for dramatic effect.

"Troublesome what is it Uzumaki-san, is about your Kekkei Genkai. You were able to perform Mokuton but you said you don't have the extinct Mokuton Kekkei Genkai so I assume that you were able to do such thing because of the Kekkei Genkai you do have" Shikaku Nara stated peeking everyone interest on what he have to said.

"What you said is true but the important I mention is not about my Kekkei Genkai, it something more important and it is dinner" Naruto stated calmly while everyone else face fault.

"How is that more important learning what your Kekkei Genkai is?" Kakashi asked.

"Because we need food to survive but not know what my Kekkei Genkai won't kill us so that is how it is more important" Naruto replied earnestly.

"Let just get this meeting started" the Hokage sighed.

"Okay but where to started" Naruto said.

"**How about I help you out kid"** the Shinigami said as he appearing in front of them.

Omake:

~Saga of the Orange Prankster, Trickster: Initiation Konohamaru~

_Hokage Tower_

"Okay Private Konohamaru if you want to join me in my S-rank prank mission you must follow tradition and accomplish our initiation rite" Naruto said to him.

"How many time do they have these meeting Hokage-sama" ANBU bunny asked.

"Three time per week" the Hokage said.

"What do I have to do boss?" Konohamaru asked.

"You must publicly humiliate yourself" Naruto said.

"I have to do WHAT!" Konohamaru asked.

"As I said you must publicly humiliate yourself, in order to have the right to laugh at other you must laugh at yourself first and learn to let other laugh at you" Naruto said.

"I bet that you didn't publicly humiliate yourself boss" Konohamaru grumbled.

"Oh but I have here is a picture when I was four and I ran around butt naked" Naruto said show him the picture.

"Naruto-sama didn't you said that happen because the no one at the orphanage was willing to help you put clothes on" Tree said.

"Oh yeah I forgot about that" Narut said.

"Why does he carry that everywhere with him?" Bunny ANBU asked.

"He does not have a lot of childhood pictures, so whatever pictures he does have he carries with him. That picture was taken by an ANBU who thought it look cute" the Hokage said.

"Hmm, how about this one when I was five where I'm dressed in this girly dress?" Naruto asked.

"You didn't have anything other than that to wear" Cloud said.

"Why did I have a dress in the first place?" Naruto asked.

"It was one of the clothes you were able to find" Tree answered.

"Hmm hey about this one where dress up in this weird white suit and disco dance to disco?" Naruto asked.

"I think that one count as publicly humiliate yourself because people were making fun of you for week" Cloud said.

"There you have it, Konohamaru an example where I publicly humiliate myself, now it is you turn" Naruto said.

"Fine what do I have to do boss?" Konohamaru asked.

"Well I do have an idea but I need to find a ukulele, coconut bra and grass skirt" Naruto said with an evil grin.

"Something tells me that I going to regret this" Konohamaru said.

The next day we see Naruto playing on a ukulele while Konohamaru was doing the hula dance dress in nothing but his short and a grass skirt while wearing coconut bra.

"Come Konohamaru move those hip" Naruto said while still playing on the ukulele while anyone who saw them point and laugh.

"Shut up boss" Konohamaru muttered.

"ANBU are you taping this" the Hokage asked.

"Yes Hokage-sama" the Bunny ANBU replied.

"Good this will be a funny story that my great-grandchildren will hear and see about" the Hokage said.

A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger if you don't like cliffhanger I did want to make this charter longer than it is, anyhoo Peace out Sayonara no Jutsu


	8. Chapter 8 Mission Possible, Genin Equals

Land of Wave and Zubuza's Sword that Can't Cut through Reinforce Rice Paper Arc:

Chapter 8~Mission Possible, Genin Equals Cheap Labor~

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me or other random reference

A/N: May contain spoiler if you don't like don't read

"normal Speech"

'thoughts'

**Demon and other uber being**

Different language 

_Last Time_

"Let just get this meeting started" the Hokage sighed.

"Okay but where to started" Naruto said.

"**How about I help you out kid"** the Shinigami said as he appearing in front of them.

_Now_

"Huh, oh hey boss what are you doing here?" Naruto asked.

"**I'm here to back up my number one living employee"** the Shinigami said.

"Aren't I'm your only living employee?" Naruto asked.

"**Well yeah in this world but that just minor detail"** the Shinigami replied.

"Umm who are you and what are you doing here, we are kind of in an important meeting right now" Choza said.

"**I am the Shinigami and I'm here for the kid"** the Shinigami replied.

"Yes Kami-sama has sent his agent to rid us of the demon brat and send it to hell" one of the civilian members stated.

"**Wow you have to deal with this crap all your life and yet you haven't snapped it is a miracle. Anyway no I am not here to take his soul, like I said I am here to help him because by having him alive means there less paperwork for me to deal with"** the Shinigami said.

"Hey I know that we here to talk about my Kekkei Genkai but is okay to talk about it with the civilian council here and let them know about you Shinigami, most of them hate me because of Kurama and less likely to help me out. What if my Kekkei Genkai is something valuable like it has the ability to steal Kekkei Genkai, but the villagers hate for me cause them to tell other villages in order to get me kidnapped, and what if every village out there want to kidnap me in order to breed that Kekkei Genkai for their village which cause them to fight over me and because of that it started the Fourth Shinobi World War and man that was really cynical view on thing I really feel sorry for anyone who think that way" Naruto said.

_Someway in Kumogakure_

Omoi sneezed.

"Someone is talking about me, what if they are planning to kidnapped me, then when they get me they will torture me for information and I couldn't handle it and told them all the secret of Kumo, which cause the downfall of Kumogakure then I be forever known as the person who brought down Kumo" Omoi said.

"Shut up Omoi you baka" Karui said as he bonks him on the head.

"My teammates are so not cool" Samui said.

_Back to the Meeting_

"**Yes you were very pessimistic there but as for involving the civilian council it was your parents and sensei idea not my, because they are tied of the way you are treated and want both side of the council and village to know that they are pissed"** the Shinigami said.

"So are you telling me that they are going to come here?" Naruto asked.

"**No they are already here"** the Shinigami said as all the pervious Hokages, Kushina, Nanashi and Hikari appeared right in front of them.

"I ask you to do one thing and one thing only yet you choose to ignore it" Minato said unleashing his killing intent.

"Hmm a level 89 killing intent not bad" Naruto said.

"**I can go higher anyway Blondie you might want to lower it or you going to kill them with a heart attack"** Kurama said.

"**Hopefully there will be some blood"** the Lord of Hell said appearing next to Naruto.

"Lord of Hell what the hells are you doing here?" Naruto asked him.

"**We know each other good enough for you to call me by my name Beelzebub and not by my title"** the Lord of Hell said.

"How about Beel?" Naruto asked.

"**That work and I here for the show, can't wait to see them wet themselves"** Beel said.

"But we did, we make sure that the demon brat is punish for what it did" one of the foolish council member stated.

"He is not a demon you fool. I ask you all to treat him as a hero for saving the village by holding back the Kyuubi but most of you disregard it. He was beat up constantly" Minato said.

"Which increase my pain tolerance and toughen my body over time" Naruto stated.

"Attempt on his life has been made" Minato continue.

"Force me to be more aware of my surrounding" Naruto added.

"Food given to him is either rotten or poison" Minato stated.

"I didn't appreciate the rotten foods but the poison ones that I end up eating cause me to develop immunity for them now" Naruto said.

"Shop refuse to sell him anything or they over charge him" Minato said.

"Well that was actually kind of mean and hurtful" Naruto said.

"Dobe, how the hell can you be so casual about the way you were treated?" Sasuke asked.

"Because dwelling on the pain and anger doesn't change anything nor does it helps" Naruto said.

"Not only did all of you made an innocent child suffer for nothing but my only son" Minato stated shocking the people there.

"Great work baka, all of Ojiisan hardwork to keep your enemy away just went out the window" Naruto said with a face-palm.

"What! We would never do something like that and don't speak to the Yondaime-sama like that demon brat" stupid council member number one said.

"Not only would we treat him with kindness and respect but with great honor" stupid council member number two said.

"Yeah by the way who is you son anyways" stupid council member number three said.

"Okay I may have spoken too soon, man there are a lot of idiot here did someone plant them here in order to control the village…wait Shin-san" Naruto said.

"Hai Naruto-taichou" ex-Root member Shin appearing next to Naruto.

"Hey Shin, how are you and Sai doing and can you get a list of people that Danzo has key interest in" Naruto asked.

"Me and Sai are doing okay as for the list I'm on my way" Shin said.

"My son is Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze the jinchuriki of Kurama the Nine-Tailed Fox you idiots" Minato said.

"There no way that the demon brat is your son Yondaime-sama" stupid council member number one stated while Minato look like he was going to murder him.

"Dad you can't hit him" Naruto sighed.

"See no demon would defend anyone that insulted him" Minato said.

"No I mean that since you are a ghost you can't physically hit him but you can still do ninjutsu so try not to destroy this place" Naruto said.

"Naruto is the son of Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki Namikaze and is the only known member of the Uzumaki clan in Konoha, I have his birth certificate to prove it" the Thrid said.

"If he really the son of the fourth and the last of his clan then we can force him in the CRA" stupid council member number two stated with the idea of trying to get political power from Naruto.

"No you can't, if I choose not to do it you can't make me and the only one who have the power was the Hokage but I doubt Ojiisan would force me to do something I don't want. Also the Daimyo made a decree that you can meddle in my personal life" Naruto stated pulling out a copy of the decree.

"Son, how did you get the Daimyo to make such a decree" Minato asked.

"I taught some of his chefs and give him some of my famous dessert recipe that he likes. And they say political is hard" Naruto stated.

"Anyways I am disappointed in what most of you have done and make me question if I should have save this village at all. From now I want you all to stop disgracing the village and stop mistreating my son because right now I lost all faith in this village" Minato said while most of the people there felt guilt and shame.

"Yeah if any of you continue to hurt my little baby I will come back from the afterlife and remind you why I am known as The Red Death dattebayo" Kushina said.

"Really mom you have to call me your little baby in front of everyone, how can I be a kickass ninja if you do that" Naruto said.

"My brother and I also wish for you all to stop mistreating Naruto for he is not only our student but we also see him as part of our family" Hishirama said.

"Aren't my clan a distant relatives of both Hashi-ojiisan's and Tobi-ojiisan's clan so aren't we already family" Naruto stated.

"Well I guess that is true" Tobirama said.

"**Now if we done with that can we get back to what we here for, not that I don't mind the short vacation here"** the Shinigami said.

"You are as lazy as always boss but yeah let get started and I guess the civilian council can stay for it if they want, I don't really care right now" Naruto sighed.

"So one of the Kekkei Genkai that I have is called Kitsune no Iyashi (Fox Healing) that I got from Kurama which give me an amazing healing ability that range from a slightly increase regeneration to resistance to most poison once someone cut off my finger and it grew back the next day. As for my second Kekkei Genkai it is called the Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) that I got from the Shinigami, it allow me to connect with a targeted soul and manipulation that soul to a point where I can affect the mind, body and spirit of that target. Also it allow me to communicate, see and sense the spirits around me as a side effect of having that Kekkei Genkai, plus upgrade, I got when I took control of Kurama's chakra and a new seal was place, which created an image that reflect my emotional state that I'm in every time I'm experiencing an extreme level of emotion" Naruto stated.

"What do you mean that you can affect the mind, body and spirit of a person, Uzumaki-san?" Hiashi asked.

"I will show you, hey Ero-Kakashi-sensei come over here so I can demonstrate" Naruto replied.

"Why me?" Kakashi asked.

"Because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of humiliating his sensei and because I am not done pay you back for what you did to my clone" Naruto replied.

"Okay but after this we are even" Kakashi said.

"Fine, okay to begin with from the Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) has four style of jutsu that are developed from it. In order for these jutsu to work I need to mark my target first with a receiver" Naruto said throw a chakra dagger at Kakashi which cause a seal to appear when it hit him.

"I created these draggers for the sole purpose of acting as a receiver so it won't hurt them unless I want them to. Now the first style is Nise no Genjitsu (False Reality) an example of this style is Nise no Genjitsu: Tobu e no Buto no Jutsu (False Reality: Boot to the Head Technique)" Naruto said doing the jutsu that strike Kakashi in the head with a boot.

"If you keep doing to me I'm going to get brain damage" Kakashi complained.

"Ero-Seishin has been doing this to me for years and I turn out find. As you can see it created an illusion like genjutsu but unlike it, it makes the damage real because Nise no Genjitsu (False Reality) alter the minds perception of reality. Next style is Fune o Noroi (Curse Vessel) an example of it is Fune o Noroi: Yotta Baka (Curse Vessel: Drunken Idiot)" Naruto said causing Kakashi to sway and become tipsy.

"Why father, sensei, Kushina, Obito, Rin why did you leave me. I so lonely but hey everyone I became a sensei for a genin team. Naruto is a prankster like Obito while Sasuke is arrogant teme like I was oh and Sakura is an annoying fan-girl like Rin but they are good kid so please watch over them" Kakashi said while crying.

"Of coursed however stop acting all emo and move on with your damn life baka. Seriously you need to find a girlfriend and me and Naruto are going to help you since you too much of emo baka to do it" Obito said in human form beating some sense into Kakashi.

"Wow Kakashi is a sad drunk who knew, anyway as you see Fune o Noroi (Curse Vessel) affect the state of the body making the person drunk as a fool, tired to the point of collapsing, weak that they can be beaten by an infant, strong beyond their limit, or put them at death door. The third style is Seishin o Kowasu Mono (Spirit Breaker) and example of this is Seishin o Kowasu Mono: Furadansu (Spirit Breaker: Hula Dance)" Naruto said causing Kakashi to hula.

"Huh why do I feel like I have a hangover and thought I saw Obito" Kakashi while still hula dancing.

"You did baka and it is fun seeing you act this way" Obito said.

"Obito but how?" Kakashi asked.

"Tell you later" Obito said.

"Seishin o Kowasu Mono (Spirit Breaker) affects the very soul of a person making feel thing that lie deep within them. I can make them feel everything from hopeless to pure bliss or in this case the urge to hula dance. The last style is Danketsu no Tamashi (Unity Soul) and an example of this is Danketsu no Tamashi: Chibi Modo (Unity Soul: Chibi Mode)" Naruto said causing Kakashi to become a chibi.

"Hehe pinkie is flat as a board and wear teddy bear underwear" Chibi Kakashi said flip Sakura skirt causing her to chase Kakashi in rage.

"Even as a kid he is a pervert, anyways Danketsu no Tamashi (Unity Soul) combine all three of the style or a mix of two of the three, any question?" Naruto said.

"Yes, what is the relationship between you and the Shinigami, a dead Uchiha, three pervious Hokages and um I think you call him the Lord of Hell and what are they doing here" Inoichi asked.

"Well the Shinigami is my boss who I work for part time helping him help spirits crossover to the other side and hunt down immortal that use forbidden art to become immortal. Obtio Uchiha is my supervisor and trainer in the whole death business. As for the Hokages one of them is my dad as you know the other two are as far as I know distance relative who has been my sensei for the past years. And Beel you can call him my pranking buddy" Naruto replied.

"How were you able to perfom Mokuton Uzumaki-san?" Shikaku asked.

"Firstly called me Naruto, Uzumaki-san makes it sound like I am in trouble secondly to answer your question my familiar Tree-kun here is the reason. He is a forest spirit that not only has the Mokuton ability but can also manipulation plant life of all kind. Because of my Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) Kekkei Genkai and Tree-kun becoming my familiar we forge some kind of ancient and sacred bond so I can borrow his power from time to time as well as my other familiar Cloud who have the power over air and wind" Naruto replied.

"So there more of them in this world, so if that is true can you get more of them to also lend you their power?" Hiashi asked.

"Yes they exist alongside us in this world unseen and unknown unless you have abilities like my mine or created a medium like I did for Tree-kun and Cloud-kun in the form of dolls which allow them to interact in this plane of existence. As for getting more of them to work for me, it is true that I can make a hundred or more of these medium to allow them to interact in this world but as for them working for me or this village for that matter I can't said that because I do not have power over them. Tree-kun and Cloud-kun work for me because they choose it out of their own free will and I can't force them to do anything they don't want to do. If I break the scared oath between familiar and master or mistreated them not only can they stop being my familiar and punish me for such action but the Shinigami can take away my Kekkei Genkai. For that matter in order for my descendent to have the Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) the Shinigami must approve it and they must make the same deal with him as I did, so to breed me for that ability is mostly out the window" Naruto said.

"**Hell, if anyone end up making the kid into a breeding machine in order to get that power not only will I rip the Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) Kekkei Genkai from any offspring that are born but the Kitsune no Iyashi (Fox Healing) Kekkei Genkai too and I have the ability to back it up. The power that I give out is sacred and I will judge who have the right to them or not"** the Shinigami said.

"Didn't I get the Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) from you by accidents" Naruto asked.

"**Yes but it doesn't make it less of a blessing from me if it was purposely given to you or not. I not only judge that are you worthy of having it but the way you threat the spirits you meet I can't think of anyone better than you to have it"** the Shinigami said.

"What about the Uchiha-sama?" a stupid council member asked.

"**No offence chicken-butt but with your hunger for power, which I hope the kid can knock some sense in you like he doing so far and your destructive ambition, not only would I see you mistreating the spirits but also not willing to help them like I required the kid to do"** the Shinigami said.

"What Sasuke-kun is the kindness soul there is and that power would be worthy of him" Sakura said with stupid council member nodding in agreement.

"One I wish you guys stop calling me chicken-butt, and two dobe is right Sakura you are really delusional because I treat all of my fan-girl like you less than thrash to get you to leave me alone but you never do. As for help other it is something that I will not go out my way to do so that power is something I might want but the requirement for it is not something I can't fulfill but the dobe can" Sasuke said.

"Wow teme admitted that their something I can do that he can't" Naruto said.

"Shut up, dobe and keep your promise" Sasuke said.

"Hai, hai after this meeting you can meet your parent, so anything else you guys want to asked me" Naruto said.

"If you don't mind I want to asked from my predecessor, Naruto said you three teach him along with other but what I want to know is what he know so I can get an idea what kind ninja he is and it will help his new sensei to know what he can teach him" the Third asked.

"Well I go first I taught him the basic of being a ninja that the academy for the most part wasn't willing to teach him until Iruka came along. Some fuinjutsu that those who work for the Shinigami are required to know and thing that required to fulfill his job as agent of the Shinigami" Obito said.

"I taught him his Kekkei Genkai based jutsu since I am the only that know any along with the wonder of peeking" Nanashi said while everyone face-fault.

"I keep this idiot from corrupting Naruto-kun and anything I know from my Suiton jutsu to how to live on his own. I may be a princess but that does not mean I can't fend for myself or that I am not kickass" Hikari said while other sweat-drop.

"You two make a unique couple" Naruto said.

"And someday you will find that someone special and become a unique couple yourself, maybe that certain blue hair brunet girl with lavender pearl eyes that you like to make blush" Hikari teased.

"I have no idea who you are talking about but it sound fun to do such thing to the person you are talking about and mostly like do if I do find such a person" Naruto said while people sweat-drop again.

'What he is doing sound cute and whatever but I kind of almost feel sorry for Hinata' all the spirits in the room along with the Thrid, Hiashi and other who know of Hinata crush.

"As for me I taught him our clan history, clan jutsu and clan fuinjutsu for he is my son therefore the legacy of my clan" Kushina said.

"I taught him all my jutsu which include a lot Suiton jutsu" Tobirama said.

"I taught him all my jutsu too mainly Mokuton that he can use when he is with Tree-kun" Hashirama said.

"As my son and my legacy I taught him all my jutsu" Minato said.

"Wait you mean he knows about the Rasengan and Hiraishin no Jutsu (Flying Thunder God Technique)" the Third asked.

"Know them, he can do them also he found a way to complete the Rasengan but I told him not to use them until he at least a chunin or higher, don't want my enemy after him yet" Minato said.

"It is not competed until I find a way to make it a distance attacks the backlash from using it close range is dangerous" Naruto said.

"What those jutsu are too good for the demon brat and should be given to someone more worthy" an idiot council member stated.

"NO ONE BUT MY SON SHALL KNOW THOSE JUTSU BECAUSE AS MY SON IT IS HIS BIRTHRIGHT TO KNOW THEM" Minato yell with a killing intent that silent any more protest.

"How cans the council fall to such an unsightly stated?" Minato asked.

"Hmm I can answer that from the report that Shin just given me, like Root Danzo has been pulling the string by letting a bunch of idiot be on the council in order to control the village from the shadow. What he does so far is bribe the member he has in his pocket to ensure certain law are pass, limiting how much the Hokage can help me so he can get me be his weapon eventually, stealing money for his plans and give the Hokage way more paperwork then it was supposed to be" Naruto said while most people there grew anger and the guilty party coward in fear.

"Naruto do you have of list of these people that Danzo have in his pocket?" the Hokage asked with anger.

"Yes here it is" Naruto said giving the paper to him.

"Oh Danzo you and the people on this list are going to pay so much for so many paperwork" the Hokage said with an evil grin.

"If he live long enough to be punish" Naruto said.

"What do you mean Naruto" the Hokage asked.

"Well that list was found by a kunoichi next to Danzo's Icha Icha book collection and photos of kunocihi that make a pervert very happy and one of those photos is of that kunoichi that found that list" Naruto said.

"So that means he broke rule number four" the Hokage said.

"Yep rule number four never ever, ever piss them off a woman, and him following rule number three won't do anything and rule five right now is not an option for him" Naruto said.

_With Danzo_

"Prepare for hell, teme" a kunoichi said.

"I'm sorry" Danzo said weakly.

"No amount of apologize will save you" another kunoichi said.

"AHHHH" Danzo scream as he was getting beat to a bloody pulp ten time worst then the time a certain blonde Sannin did to a certain pervert white haired Sannin for peeking on her.

_Back to the Council Room_

"Ouch sounded like Danzo in a lot of pain" Naruto said.

"Yes but it won't stop me from punish him along with those idiots" the Third said point to about half of the civilian council member getting drag away.

"Well hopeful some new blood will help the village" Naruto said.

"Well since there're no more questions the meeting end here and I asked that all of you to keep Naruto lineage and the fact that he can perform his father jutsu a secret to protect him from Minato's enemy or else you will be execute without a second thought" the Hokage said.

"You know that won't stop them just like it didn't stop most people from talking about me being a jinchuriki" Naruto said.

"I know but can only hope" the Third said.

"Wait there one more thing I would like to know the fox stated that he was under someone control and that that person forces him to attack the village I want to know who he is and what danger he pose to the village?" Shikaku asked

"Yeah that teme, because of him me and my wife are dead and never get to see our son grow up" Minato said with a scowl.

"Oh him well I can't because that liar claim to be someone he not" Naruto said.

"What do you mean?" Inoichi asked.

"From the bit of memory that I was able to get from exploring my mindscape and what I got from Kurama, I was able to see who did it but the name I obtain of who he is was not right. I can show you guys if you want but I have to pull you guys into my mind with Nise no Genjitsu (False Reality)" Naruto said.

"Then please show us" the Hokage said.

"Okay let me set up seal to do it" Naruto said as he created clone and place seal around the room.

"Okay here I go Nise no Genjitsu: Yume no Sekai (False Reality: World of the Dreamer)" Naruto said as room shifted became the world of Naruto mindscape as everyone enter his mind.

_Naruto Mindscape_

"Dobe I know there a lot of empty space in your mind but this is ridiculous" Sasuke said.

"Will people stop make crack about my intelligent when they enter my mind" Naruto said.

"This is amazing I never see a mind like this" Inoichi said.

"Thank I plan to add more interesting thing to this place" Naruto said.

"Wait you said you created all this?" Inoichi asked.

"Yeah why is there a problem?" Naruto asked.

"No it just it is rare for most people to have control over their mind like this" Inoichi said.

"I have years to practices and having a neighbor in your mind to share with is a great motivator" Naruto.

"**And speaking of neighbor I have graciously greet you all, hi I am the Kyuubi no Kitsune fear me" **Kurama said releasing a lot of killing intent that scared everyone but Naruto and his spirits company.

"Okay Kurama thank for making everyone piss themselves now if you don't mind I would like to get to the tower of memory and get this done" Naruto said.

"**Che fine ruin my fun"** Kurama said.

"The last time I have you have fun was helping me plan a prank which ended up with half the villagers after my head" Naruto said.

"**But it was really fun"** Kurama stated.

"True but it getting late and I want to get this done soon, so chase some rabbit and chicken here" Naruto making a bunch of Kurama favorite food appear running around.

"**Can do"** Kurama a said chasing it prey.

"How the hell are you not frozen in fear Naruto" Kakashi asked.

"I got use to it, beside he forces me to endure it for hours to train me to get us to killing intent but when that sadistic teme does it he use his full level of killing intent , what he just use was not way less than a percent of his full killing intent. Now let get going" Naruto said taking them to a tower within the city of his mind. Inside there were thousand upon thousand scrolls that contain his memory.

"Okay I will go look for that memory wait here and don't touch anything especially the scrolls. They contain my memory and there are some memory that you don't want to see" Naruto told everyone and went to search for what he was looking for.

'Che 'there are some memory that you don't to want to see' yeah right, he probably doesn't want us to see any of his embarrassing memory of himself, let find some of those embarrassing moments as payback for waking me early and making fun of me and Sasuke-kun' Sakura thought as she look explored the room.

"Seventh birthday huh I bet we get to see him crying for not getting want he want for his birthday" Sakura said as she open it.

"Sakura don't" Sasuke said when he saw what she was doing while the other turn to her when they hear the commotion. However it was too late as the memory flood the room as they saw a seven year-old Naruto walking down the street. He was walking home when suddenly mob appeared, called him names and began to beat the helpless child break bone and making him bleed horrifying everyone that view the memory. Then some ninja appear most sighed relieve think that they would help but to their horror they pull out kunai with an evil grin and close in to stab the child but a bunch of ANBU came and stop them. Before anyone see what happen next the memory fade as Naruto appeared and close the scroll.

"Next when I said don't do anything in here you should listen" Naruto sighed as he put the memory away.

"How, how can you not hate this village after all that happen" Sakura asked with tear in her eye after seeing the memory along with most people there.

"I do hate this village for the most part but this place is where I was born and is the place where I live most of my life in along with a few people I do care about so I may hate this place but I won't let that hate consume me and make me do something that I will regret or bring me down. Anyway here the memory of that night" Naruto said as he open the scroll. When he did it show the scene of a masked man holding Naruto as a hostage while making a demand from Minato. Then Minato battle with the masked man to get Naruto back. Next the scene change to where the Kurama was being extracted from Kushina then the masked man using the Sharingan to control the fox and order it to attack Konoha. Then it show Kurama being seal in Naruto while Minato and Kushina said their goodbye to their son and the memory ended. With that Naruto drag them out of his mind.

"That was the man who was responsible for the Kyuubi attack. Last time he was seen a spirit I met said he claim to be Madara Uchiha which would make sense because he was an Uchiha know to be able to control Kurama" Naruto said while many fear that Madara Uchiha is still alive and a treat to the village.

"However the Shinigami told me that Madara Uchiha is really dead, so all we know now is that an unknown masked individual with the Sharingan has the power to control Kurama, the most power Buji, and is responsible for what happen. Who he really is and where is, is something that none of us know right now. For all we know he could be some random ninja with a grudge against Konoha that stole a Sharingan" Naruto said.

"Thank you Naruto for the information you provided. It was helpful, the meeting is over all of you are free to go but kept in mind what I told you to do" the Third said.

"Okay well Ero-Kakashi-sensei, teme pack up you camping gear and meet me at Ichiraku, because we are camping out at certain place in the Forest of Death tonight so that you two can meet some spirits who want to see you" Naruto said.

"The Forest of Death how come we headed there?" Kakashi asked.

"Because I set up a special place where spirits can be seen in there that only I know about, don't worry as long as you are with me you won't get lost or killed" Naruto replied.

"So we are going to meet my family?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah so let go" Naruto said.

"Hey guys can I come along?" Sakura asked.

"No, because there is no spirit that I meet that need to see you so you have no reason to be there. Also you didn't follow my instruction when we were in my mind so as punishment you not allow to come and don't think of following us because without me with you there a chance you might die because the forest is really dangerous. We will meet you early tomorrow for morning training so goodbye" Naruto said and left.

"Sensei, Sasuke-kun can you do something I really want to come along?" Sakura asked 'so I can spend more time with Sasuke-kun.

"No you did this to yourself" Sasuke said and left too.

"Sorry but he right you should leave Naruto alone for now and think about what you did" Kakashi said and left too.

"Maybe I shouldn't have done that" Sakura said dejectedly.

_The Forest of Death _

"I can't believe you can eat that much ramen without exploding, dobe" Sasuke said walking in the woods.

"Ramen for me is like alcohol for Mokona" Naruto said next to him.

"Sake is liquid happiness" Mokona said.

"And that was not even close to the record number of ramen he can eat" Iruka said.

"No one can out eat me when it comes to dango" Anko added.

"Umm I know that Naruto asked me and Sasuke to come but what are you two doing here?" Kakashi asked.

"Naruto and I plan this camping trip days ago" Iruke replied.

"I didn't have anything to do so I decide to hang out with your guys" Anko said.

"Okay we are here just let me just open the door, Tree-kun do it" Naruto said in front a wall of trees.

"Hai" Tree said as he parted two trees to form an opening.

"It through here" Naruto said going through the opening.

"Man kid you know all the good spot to hang out in the forest" Anko said.

"I agreed a large hidden meadow with a crystal clean stream running through it great place to camp but with that cottage and garden it look like someone live here" Kakashi said.

"The cottage and garden are mine this is one of my secret bases that I come to stay when I want to get away from the village to allow myself to rest. Now let me active the seal so we can meet our spirited friend" Naruto said as he place his hand on a stone in the center of the meadow and channel chakra through it. Once he did glowing marking appear on it and on the stones that are place around the perimeter of the meadow creating a large array. Once done all kind of spirits appear.

"Okay teme I send Obito to get your parent he…" Naruto started but was tackle by big an orange forest tiger. Upon seeing the animal everyone got into an attack stance.

"It nice to see you Kato but if you don't get off you going to crush me" Naruto said.

"Sorry about that kid, it just that I haven't seen you in a long awhile" Kato the tiger said.

"So is he a friend of yours?" Kakashi asked putting away his kunai.

"And it can speak?" Iruka added.

"Yes it he my friend and yes he can speak but I think Mokona is translating it for us, anyway how are you Kato" Naruto replied.

"Fine I'm just visiting when I saw you, so are those jutsu I taught you working out for you?" Kato asked.

"Yeah they great thank for taking you time to teach me" Naruto said.

"No problem well sees you later" Kato said as he left.

"So you learn jutsu from an animal mine me asking what kind" Anko asked.

"Wind jutsu and it seems you parent are here teme" Naruto said.

"Sasuke" Mikoto said.

"My son" Fugaku said.

"Tou-san, kaa-san I miss you both so much" Sasuke said.

"Sasuke my son I miss you too and I am sorry for what we did to you and your brother" Fugaku said.

"What do you mean?" Sasuke asked.

"Our clan was partly responsible to our own demise. It all starts after the Kyuubi attack there was a lot of tension between our clan and Konoha Council" Fugaku said.

"Especially the league of unholy miserable old people known as Homura, Koharu, and Danzo" Naruto added.

"They suspect someone from our clan to be responsible for the attack, since the last time it happen it was due to Madara Uchiha, so we were watch heavy causing the tension to grow over time. Due to my resentment and spite for the way that our clan was treated cause us to plan a coup d'etat" Fugaku continued.

"Which could have started the Fouth Shinobi World War, which Konoha could have lost due to still recovering from the Kyuubi attack" Naruto added.

"So to keep a war from break out your brother Itachi chooses to side with Konoha and stop the coup by massacring our clansmen. Due to the foolish choice we made you and your brother suffer for that we our sorry and no matter what both you decide to do we are proud of you both. I telling you this because you have right to know" Fugaku said.

"We both love you and your brother very much and we apologize for not being able to be with you guys" Mikoto said.

"Sasuke there one more you need to know before I leave you to catch up with your parents. Your cousin Shisui after failing to stop the coup himself due to Danzo stealing his right eye as you saw during the meeting" Naruto said.

"Yes and I hope he get what coming to him" Sasuke said.

"Yeah I never like that old fool when I was alive" Fugaku said.

"Anyway after that he entrust Itachi to protect both the village and your clan name he became a ghost that to this day is watching over your brother. I met him when he was watching over you one day and he told me that after Itachi was order to massacre your clan and prior to doing the act Itachi met that masked man who was responsible to for Kyuubi attack. He poses as Madara to start a war but Itachi made a deal to spare the village and you in exchange for the death of your clan" Naruto said.

"So the one who is responsible for the death of both our parent is this guy right?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah and he the one I want to stop because of him me, you and a lot other suffer so much, that why I do every in my power to stop him so there won't be more like us" Naruto said.

"Hn well you not going to do it alone because of him I lost a family too, so I going be there fighting next to you to make him pay" Sasuke said.

"I wouldn't have it any other way, now I need to talk to Ero-Kakashi-sensei and my family" Naruto as he left Sasuke with his family.

"Damn Naruto nii-chan you did tell me your mom was Kushina, she the most kick ass kunoichi every" Anko said.

"Um thank Anko nee-san anyway Ero-Kakashi-sensei you dad want to come here to see you" Naruto said.

"My dad?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah my Ero-son you grew up a lot when the last time I saw you alive. Anyway I here to tell you how proud I am of you and sorry for what happen" Sakumo said.

"It okay I understand it now" Kakashi said.

"Well I leave you guys here so I can say goodbye to my teachers and parent" Naruto said.

"What?" Kakashi said.

"We have no reason to stay here so we moving on to the afterlife so be a good teacher to my son and look after him or else we will haunt you" Minato said.

"Right sensei" Kakashi said and went to talk to his own father.

"Naruto know that we are proud of you and that we love you so take care of yourself" Minato said.

"Naruto-chan we wish that we could have been there for you when you were growing up but never forget that we are always watching over" Kushina said.

"Make us proud and become the greatest Hokage ever hopeful soon before Sarutobi die from too much paperwork" Hashirama said.

"Yeah paperwork is always a pain to deal with anyway we place our trust in you and we know you will do great thing" Tobirama said.

"Family is not only those who have the same blood as you but also those who love you with all their heart so don't forget that we are your family and everyone here loves you Naruto-kun" Hikari said.

"Go peeking at the girl side of the hotspring" Nanashi said.

"No" Naruto replied.

"Go on a pantie raid" Nanashi continued.

"Never" Naruto responded.

"Use the super pantie and bra stealing technique that I taught you that can steal a women undergarment while they are wearing them" Nanashi said.

"Not even if my life depends on it I can't believe you were able to teach me that technique by trick me to believe it was some high speed disarm technique" Naruto said.

"Well you were able to disarm your opponent but it wasn't weapon you were disarming" Nanashi said.

"Perverted baka" Naruto said.

"I am not just a pervert baka I am a super pervert baka and you will be one of us" Nanashi said.

_Somewhere in Near a Hotspring_

"Someone who perverted level is equivalent to mine is trying to corrupt my godson to be a super pervert like us, POWER TO THE SUPER PERVERT" Jiraiya said with a fist up in the air which alert the women bathing there.

"Kyahh pervert get him" a woman said.

"I am not a pervert I am a super pervert and you won't get me once I use my super jutsu, Hentai no Jutsu: Ranrakikuheru (Pervert's Technique: Run like Hell)" Jiraya said leaving a dust trail.

"After him" they scream and chasing after him.

_Back with Naruto_

"Baka stop trying to corrupt him and give him you goodbye" Hikari said hitting Nanashi head.

"Yeah, yeah so kid followed the way of the awesomeness, be kickass with what I taught you, let your perverted instinct take over you…" Nanashi said.

"I won't be a pervert ever" Naruto replied.

"…live a good life and we will always be with you in spirit" Nanashi finish off.

"Thank I do my best" Naruto said.

After everyone was done talking to each other and the ghost said their goodbyes to the living the Shinigami took them to the afterlife. Everyone there than turn in for the night as they all slept outside under a starlit night.

"So Kakashi it seems that you finally taken a team in to teach anyway take of Naruto for me" Iruka said.

"Yeah make sure you look after him or else you know why most people fear me" Anko said.

"Guys I am not kid any more I can take care of myself" Naruto pouted.

"We know but it won't keep us from worry about you" Iruka said.

"Yeah what he said" Anko replied.

"I understand why Iruka is close with you but how did you get Anko, Naruto?" Kakashi asked.

"Well other than the one time I save her from some jerk trying to take advantage of her I dealt with Anko's curse seal" Naruto said.

"Wait you got rid of it" Kakashi said.

"No I modify it, got rid of Orochimaru's chakra and his little of his consciousness that was in there and replace it with natural energy, so the snake-teme no longer can affect her in anyway and she get a cool power up with an awesome transformation" Naruto said.

"Does the Thrid know about it?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes but only him and us now know about it for certain reason" Naruto said.

"What reason, it sound like a great thing to have, unless there some side-effect that we should be worry about" Sasuke said.

"It is an amaze seal and there are no side-effect to worry about so long as built in limited is working so that the person doesn't turn to stone for using too much natural energy. But the problem is same as the original and that getting can it can risk the person life, it has a low survival rate so I will only use it to modify those who already got Orochimaru's cures seal to protect them from him. The reason me and Ojiisan doesn't want anyone to know before was because of Danzo, if he know he would use it on is Root agent kill a lot of them to get powerful tool. Also Orochimaru is still out there and it best that he doesn't know we can dealt with his little invention so we can pull one on him" Naruto said.

"Huh point taken. So Nauto a lot people hate you because of the fox right how do you deal with it" Sasuke asked.

"Try my best to prove them wrong and that I am not it. Also find people that can see pass it and see me for who I am, how about you how do you deal with you devoted fans" Naruto said.

"I just ignore them they are annoying, so the masked guy is strong huh?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah stronger than anyone we know, he was able to take control of Kurama but we will get stronger and we will defeat him" Naruto said.

"Yeah we can't let him win after what he did" Sasuke said.

"Anyway you should go to sleep now because we have to get up early and get Haruno-san for our morning training" Naruto said.

"Morning training huh wants me to join?" Kakashi asked.

"No because when you arrived for it we would have been done already" Naruto deadpanned.

"I am not that bad" Kakashi said.

"Yes you are" Iruka and Anko said.

"No fair you all against me" Kakashi said with anime tears.

"Sleep under the stars is nice" Iruka commented.

"It okay" Anko said.

"Hmm I wonder if I could use it in my excuse for being late" Kakashi said.

"Hn" Sasuke said.

"Yeah that why every chance I get I come here to get away from everything" Naruto said.

_The Next Day_

After their morning workout Sasuke and Sakura arrive at training ground seven and saw Naruto and a bunch of his clone training. Some of them were doing tree walking or water walking exercise, other were cutting leaf and rock in their hand, last only one the original Naruto was meditating.

"Bunshin no Jutsu (Clone Technique)" Naruto said coming out of his meditation as two dead looking clones appear causing Naruto to twitch.

"Damn it, I can get my control to a decent level but it never enough to make a single decent normal Bunshin, sure I can make a lot of Kage Bunshin no problem but when it came to normal one they always end up look like this. It like the Bunshin no Kami forsaken me when it comes to making normal Bunshin" Naruto said to the heaven.

"**There is no Bunshin no Kami, all ninja related stuff fall under Shinobi no Kami and he has not forsaken you rather he very fond of you"** Kami replied from the heaven.

"What do you mean you can't make a normal Bunshin didn't you make for the gradation exam and what with the voices?" Sasuke asked.

"I didn't use Bunshin no Jutsu (Clone Technique) for the gradation I use a Nise no Genjitsu (False Reality) technique to fake it as for the voices that was Kami" Naruto replied.

"Frist the Shinigami now Kami you know a lot powerful being" Sakura said.

"Not my fault that my path crosses theirs. Now since we are officially a team I have some advice and stuff to give out. Firstly put these on around your wrist and ankle" Naruto said hand them some wrist and ankle band.

"What are they?" Sasuke asked.

"Low range weight seal, the darker bar there are the heavier it is. We will work on speed, strength and stamina, these weight seal will help and you will have them on at all the time except two day per week, one day to see how much they help and the other for rest. Next once you master the tree walking exercise you will ran laps around Konoha on the wall that border the village during the morning exercise. This will help improve both chakra control and reserve by a lot. Now onto individual work I have some scroll I create with help from my ghostly friends. First up Sauke here is a scroll on many different basic taijutsu moves which you can integrate towards your for power and speed, also some scrolls on some useful genjutsu which I was able to get but not use due to the fact I have Nise no Genjitsu (False Reality) and my control is not good for most of the technique due having such a high reserve" Naruto said.

"What no ninjutsu?" Sasuke asked.

"Well right now I having you work on having an edge when fighting another Sharingan user by increase you speed to move faster than your opponent can counter and some more weakness later on considering who our future enemy is. I also have you working on fighting without using the Sharingan because not only do you not have it now but when you do I don't want you to be too depended on you in case there are time when using it doesn't help or would be a disadvantage to use it. A good ninja doesn't depend on one move but have many trick up their sleeves to help them and beside once you do get you Sharingan Kakashi will help you train in it, that why he became your sensei" Naruto said as a puff of smoke appear nearby.

"Yo" Kakashi greeted them.

"YOU'RE LATE!" Sakura yelled.

"Two hours and five minute to be exact, I don't know if that is an improvement or not consider it is you" Naruto said.

"Well you see the night sky was so beautiful that I lost track of time from observing it" Kakashi said.

"It almost noon" Sakura deadpanned.

"What can I said it was very captivating" Kakashi replied.

"I know looking at a starlit night make you feel so little but at the same time make you feel that you are a part of something greater" Naruto commented.

"You know he lying, right" Sakura said.

"Yes but I don't see any point in proving him wrong so might as well go with it, anyway where was I with our discussion" Naruto said.

"Something about Kakashi being assign to our team because of me, it that true?" Sasuke asked Kakashi.

"Yes because I am the only one in Konoha who have the Sharingan but that does not mean I will neglect Sakura or Naruto training" Kakashi said.

"Anyway no ninjutsu right now beside your clan library probably have more on that than me" Naruto said.

"Yeah I should go and check it out now since I was finally told how to get in it, stupid rule that said I not allowed to knows about how to get in until I became a genin and then the massacre happen and I thought that I will never be able to know until I given a chance to meet my parent's ghost" Sasuke grumbled.

"Huh speaking of clan library I should go and see my dad's library with all of his jutsu and unfinished project but mainly to use it as a bachelor pad that he use in the past to hid from mom when she was anger and pregnant with me. Anyway most of my ninjutsu is either related to my Kekkei Genkai or wind jutsu that I created due to my element affinity, I know the Uchiha are big on fire jutsu but that does not mean that your affinity is fire so until Kakashi test our element affinity you just have to wait for some ninjutsu scroll from me however it does not mean I can't give you this yet" Naruto said hand him a scrolls and sword.

"Huh, what up with the scrolls and the chokuto?" Sasuke asked.

"That chokuto have special seal on it and is made with a special chakra metal so you can channel you elemental chakra into it, the scroll contain basic kenjutsu move along some fire basic kenjutsu attacks. Thought it be useful for you to learn it" Naruto said.

"Thank dobe, it really a cool sword" Sasuke said.

"No problem I found it next to a corpse in the Forest of Death and re-forge it once I got it" Naruto said.

"So you went grave robbing" Kakashi deadpanned.

"I see no point in wasting a good sword like that and beside it not like anything a ninja wouldn't do" Naruto replied.

"Touché" Kakashi said.

"Hey don't take Iruke catchphrase" Naruto said.

"Sasuke-kun so cool wielding a sword" Sakura said with heart in her eye which earn a whack from a stick in Naruto hand.

"Ouch what the hell was that for baka?" Sakura asked.

"As I told you last time we will get rid of your fan-girl tendency or it will get either us or you killed. So in order to deal with it I took a page from my formal sensei book and decide to beat it out of you, just like how Ero-seishin beat the catchphrase that I no longer dare speak of out of me" Naruto said.

"Oh and what was the catchphrase?" Kakashi asked.

"I can't tell you because I no longer dare speak of it for fear of the boots of pain, so from now on I will beat the fan-girl tendency out of Haruno-san. Also I will beat the arrogant and emo tendency out of chicken butt because it really annoying and I get the feeling that it will cause him to so something stupid someday like go and follow some evil pedo lord because he offer him power like candy, his vengeance tendency won't be a problem once his arrogant and emo tendency are gone because emo amounted to nothing or in teme case cause him to do something stupid like go follow some evil pedo lord because he offer him power like candy. Hopeful once his emo side is gone he spend less time sitting around brooding about vengeance and more time training until he collapse for vengeance which is more productive" Naruto said.

"I am not emo" Sasuke brooded which earn him a whack on the head.

"No brooding it a sign of emoism" Naruto said.

"Why mention him following some evil pedo lord, that was oddly specified?" Kakashi asked.

"I don't know I just feel it was the right thing to say" Naruto replied.

_In Otogakure_

"ACHOO!" the snake Sannin sneezed.

"Someone is talking about me, it probably Sarutobi-sensei saying something about how he fail to stop me anyway back to what I was doing" Orochimaru said.

"KYAHH! Sasuke-kun your body will be mine" Orochimaru said while his minions stare at him.

"Umm you didn't see or hear me squeal like a girl" Orochimaru said.

"I did" one of his stupid minion said which cause Orochimaru to kill him.

"Anyone else?" Orochimaru asked.

"No" they are said.

"Good, now back to what I was doing, kukuku Sasuke-kun your body will be mine" Orochimaru said looking all creepy while plotting his evil plan.

_Back with Naruto and the other_

"Someone creepy is thinking about me, I guess it one of my fan-girl" Sasuke said.

"It probably her" Sasuke stated taking a glance at Sakura who have heart in her eye when she saw him looking at her which earn another whack from Naruto.

"Okay now that I am done with teme it is your turn Haruno-san to begin with a few scroll on some advance taijutsu moves to add onto the taijutsu you learn from the academy. Because you have prefect chakra control but reserve is really low right now you will learn some basic genjutsu and medical ninjutsu. If you want to learn more jutsu I suggest you go research at Konoha's library which I don't know how much information they have because I not allowed there" Naruto said.

"Not allow there?" Sakura asked.

"Because of furball that seal in my gut so most of the jutsu I know I got from ghost or created myself" Naruto said.

"Creating your own jutsu already huh" Kakashi commented.

"Yeah but most of them are a work in progress because I still stuck on the basic, so now that told them on what to work on is there anything you want to added, Ero-Kakashi-sensei" Naruto said.

"Hmm what you plan is not bad however what I want to know is what you have plan for your training Naruto and also have an in-depth test on Sakura and Sasuke skill that I wasn't able to get during the bell test" Kakashi said.

"Well for one thing train in my Kekkei Genkai based jutsu so I have them master to a point and not get rusty in them. Next for genjutsu like I said I don't have good enough control to perform them but mostly likely train in detecting them and dispel it too. As for taijutsu continue to condition my body to be a human weapon and practice my Muay Thai and Shaolin Kung-Fu moves along with staff technique. Now for ninjutsu I will work with wind technique since I have it for my affinity along with water and earth technique because it good to have an element or two that different than your main one for backup" Naruto said.

"A sound plan Naruto. Now Sakura we will have a light spar first than it will be Sasuke turn, after that we will do some D-rank mission" Kakashi said.

"Great D-rank mission" Naruto said solemnly.

"What wrong with doing mission that what we do" Sakura said.

"Nothing however you will see why I dislike D-rank mission" Naruto said.

"Aright step up Sakura so we can begin" Kakashi said as Sakura went to face him.

"So teme, how are you dealing with what you learn and what are you going to do about your brother?" Naruto asked.

"It a lot to take in but I dealing with it the best I can. As for my brother I don't really know right now" Sasuke said.

"Want my advice on what to do, you don't have to follow it if you don't like it" Naruto suggested.

"Hn" Sasuke said.

"Taking that as a yes grunted, what I suggest you do is train to get stronger in mind, body, soul and maturity like you are doing now then once you are ready go find your brother and talk to him about it. Once you do that then decide on what to do then kill him, beat him up for being an idiot and drag him back home or whatever but whatever you do don't regret it and the team got your back" Naruto said as they saw Sakura get overwhelm by Kakashi.

"Well I got your back, Sakura is still fan-girl crazy over you so she follower you to the depth of hell and we can bribe Ero-Kakashi-sensei with smut or blackmail him. Anyway what I saying is figure out your life first and think about yourself for a moment while forgetting about what other want out of you so you have clear idea on what to do" Naruto said.

"I guess you right but we still take out the masked guy no matter what right?" Sasuke replied.

"Damn right there no way that teme is getting away" Naruto said as Sakura who looks like she was on the verge collapse from exhaustion and Kakashi finish their spar.

"Okay Sasuke you next" Kakashi said as Sasuke went to face him while Sakura went as sat down next to Naruto. Naruto close his eye and went into a meditated stated while Sakura was observing the fight and casting worry glance at Naruto from time to time.

"…"

"…"

"Yes Haruno-san" Naruto said.

"Nothing it just that there something I what to tell you" Sakura said nervously.

"What it is?" Naruto asked.

"I want to apologized for what I did in your mind it was wrong of me to look through you memory, I should have follow your instruction and not done that" Sakura said.

"Yes it was wrong of you to do that" Naruto said.

"So do you accept my apologized?" Sakura asked nervously.

"Yes" Naruto replied.

"Are you still angry at me" Sakura asked.

"Yes but I won't let it get in the way of the team or mission that we are doing today" Naruto replied as Sasuke and Kakashi finish their fight.

"Okay let go pick a mission to do" Kakashi said.

_First Mission Cleaning the River_

"Whoosh" Naruto said standing on top of the surface of the water swing his net catching all kind of trash that Tree trap in a ball of water and levitated around Naruto.

"Use the force Naruto-kun" Mokona said.

"No join the dark side we have cookies, delicious grandma homemade cookies full of evil chocolate chip chuck" Cloud said.

"Baka what are you doing?" Sakura said.

"Other beginning my path as a Jedi knight, I am working on my chakra control while at the same time fine tuning my staff technique" Naruto replied.

"So you can do the water walking exercise huh Naruto?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah but my control is still around high genin or low chunin not good enough to make one good normal Bunshin" Naruto said.

"Wait then how you graduate?" Kakashi asked.

"Fake it with Nise no Genjitsu (False Reality) are you going to send me back to the academy for that?" Naruto asked.

"No if you could pull something like that off you deserve to graduate" Kakashi said.

"Hey how do you do the water walking exercises?" Sasuke asked.

"Well you suppose to learn after mastering tree walking but I guess you can get started with this. For water walking exercises do the same thing as tree walking but you have to constantly emitted chakra to the bottom of your feet to create a strong surface tension on the water to stay afloat. Remember to stay calm and clear your mind" Naruto said as both his teammate began the exercise.

_Next Mission Dog Walking_

"Danketsu no Tamashi: Chibi Modo (Unity Soul: Chibi Mode)" Naruto said turning to his mini self.

"Naruto what are you doing now?" Kakashi asked.

"Well just walking the dogs sound boring so I decide to change from walking to race and by me changing into my chibi form so I can ride them, right Bolt" Naruto said mounting a giant golden retriever.

"Right Naruto" Bolt said.

"Who are you going to race Dobe?" Sasuke asked.

"Me and Cujo" Yami Naruto in chibi form said on top of a doberman.

"Yeah you won't beat me Bolt" Cujo said.

"Don't forget about me and Bull" Chibi Naruto on top of a bulldog.

"Race, race let get it started" Bull said.

"Naruto you can't do this Kakashi-sensei won't let you" Sakura said.

"Alright place your bets who will win the living lightning Bolt, the dark terror Cujo or the adorable Bull" Kakashi said to the gathering crowd of ninjas scream out bets including the Hokage and the clan heads.

"Are you ready" Kakashi asked.

"Hai" Naruto, Yami Naruto and Chibi Naruto said.

"Okay on your mark, get ready, set, go" Kakashi said as the Narutos and dogs began the race.

"I hope Naruto win because I put a lot of sum on him" Sasuke said.

"How can you let this happened Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked.

"Hmm I get a cut from the bet made" Kakashi replied.

_Few Mission Later Childcares 101_

"Okay you and your team will help me take care of the children until their parent come to pick them up" said the child care provider at the daycare then her eye fall on Naruto.

"Umm is it safe to have him here the demon brat might end up eating the children" care provider whisper to Kakashi.

"Nah I prefer adult you know more meat on the bones" Naruto said sarcastically causing the care provide to step back.

"Man I can't even joke about that" Naruto sighed.

"You don't need to worry, what you hear about him is wrong he really a good person and beside I am keep an eye on them" Kakashi said as the child care provider relax a bit.

"Umm Ero-Kakashi-sensei you can't read your Icha Icha books in front of children or else I will tell all the kunoichi about it and they will murder you. I won't have your corrupt innocent children now" Naruto said.

"He right Hatake-san if you read such smut in front of them you will die" the care provider said glaring at Kakashi.

"But what am I supposed to read then" Kakashi said crying anime tears.

"Didn't you reread the current volume a hundred times and now waiting for the sequel that will come out in half a year from now" Naruto said.

"Yes but I still need my smut to keep me entertain while I keep an eye on my minions" Kakashi said continue to cry anime tears.

"Fine you can read the book I wrote, it will be release next week but my publisher give me a few copies so I can promoted them and it not smut so it is okay to read in front of kids" Naruto said hand him a book.

"_Heart of the Mage Ninja: Book 1 Academy Day_ by Orange Writer a pen name huh. What the book about?" Kakashi asked taking the book.

"Well it is the first in it series and it about a young hero who live a curse life due to the fact that his heroic father sacrifice himself to bind the soul of nine tail catastrophe dragon, who under control of an evil lord, to the soul of our hero in order to save his kingdom. The hero lives a life full of people hating and fearing him because he became the living prison for the nine tail dragon. Now he is on a quest to earn the respect of other by became the greatest ninja mage in history and on his journey he will find friendship, love, happiness and the place where he belong. Original the hero has only one love interest but my editor said it will be more interesting to make it into a harem, so his love interest became the main girl in the harem" Naruto said.

"Nine tail dragon huh so you use your real life as inspiration" Kakashi said thumbing through the book.

"Nothing can influence you like real life" Naruto said as they went to meet the child that they going to watch.

"Okay kid we have some ninja join us today" the care provider as the kid stare at them. One girl who was closest to Sasuke staring intently at him and in responded to any females that invaded his person space he glared at her causing her to cry.

"Shh, shh don't cry little girl do some Sasuke-kun" Sakura said fail to calm the girl down while Sasuke look at her with a face that said 'like what'.

"Kakashi-sensei help" Sakura said.

"Narukaze don't give up on love yet you need it to be the hero you're destine to be, Lady Hina you the only one that can help him now" Kakashi said total engross in Naruto's novel to notice anything around him.

"How about you Naruto?" Sakura asked.

"Okay fine. Hey little girl look at the nice necklace I have here I give to you if you stop crying" Naruto said give her the necklace.

"Wow the butterfly flapping it wing is it a magic necklace?" the girl asked with wonder in her eyes.

"Yes and if you cover your hand over it and look at it, it will glow in the dark" Naruto said.

"Wow it does" she said.

"Hey where do you get some like that" Sakura asked.

"It is a bunch of trinket I made with low level seal that take in small amount of ambient chakra to power it and do the thing it does" Naruto said.

"Hey I want one" "Yeah me too" the other kids said.

"Okay get in line and I pass them out" Naruto said.

"Now for the rest of the day let play ninja tag" Naruto said after hand out his knickknack to them.

"Okay" they all said.

"Ninja tag?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah it tag ninja style, everyone break up into team of under my, emo or Haruno command then we spend the rest of the time catching Mokona" Naruto said.

"Mokona the yellow pork bun?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah Mokona is good at kid game so it be really hard to get him" Naruto said.

"Yep, yep I am the King of Kids game" Mokona said.

"Che he doesn't look that hard to catch" Sasuke said.

"Famous last word emo" Naruto said as they divide into team, the girl that Sasuke made cry went along with Naruto and some of the others while rest disappointing went to Sasuke and Sakura. After hours of play is was time for the parent to pick up their children while a unhappy Uchiha admitted defeat for being unable to catch Mokona.

"I can't believe that I was not able to get that little pork bun" Sasuke said waiting with the other for the parent to pick up their children.

"I told you but no you did listen but it was a good work out and you learn a few things about tracking and pursuit" Naruto said while the parents there glare at him for being near their child which Naruto ignore.

"Bye everyone" the care provide, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi said. Then the kids tackle and grab a hold of Naruto not letting go horrify and confusing a few parents there.

"No we want to hang out with you more" they all said giving a combine puppy eye making it unbreakable as they continue to pull on Naruto.

"Ero-Kakashi-sensei helps me please" Naruto said giving Kakashi his puppy eye no jutsu.

"Fine, you know you know a lot of none lethal dangerous jutsu. Anyway kids how about if we come once a month when we don't have any out of the village mission will you let Naruto go and go home" Kakashi said.

"Everyday" the kids replied.

"Once every two week" Kakashi countered.

"Okay" they said and went to their shell shock parent.

"You really great with kid Naruto" Kakashi said.

"That because I still one at heart anyway you said we will visit them once every two week but not anything about them coming to visit us so I guess they be sneaking to see us" Naruto.

"So you said I got trick by a bunch of kids" Kakashi said.

"Yep" Naruto said.

_Current Mission_

"Okay team 7 will look for the daimyo's wife cat Tora" the Hokage said.

"Tora huh okay" Naruto said as he unseal a grill and began to cook some fish. While the fish is cooking he fans it causing Tora to appear.

"Did he just catch the demon Tora under 30 minutes" a chunin work there said as fish was done cooking and Naruto put it on a plate for Tora.

"So how is it" Naruto asked Tora who dig in it.

"Meow" he said.

"Five star not bad" Naruto mused.

"Oh Tora it nice to see you again" Madam Shijimi said genteelly petted Tora.

"Greeting Madam Shijimi it seems like you took my advice on cat care, Tora looks happier and healthier" Naruto said.

"Ah little Naruto-kun yes those book really help and letting him run around while letting little ninja like you to find give him some good exercise, now he fit for the cat show. Also thank you for those dessert recipes and training our cooks they now make the best meal that are envy of the other country. It was nice seeing you again and I will leave you a little tip for the job but don't tell anyone" Madam Shijimi said.

"Okay thanks and good luck with the cat show" Naruto said.

"Naruto you just catch Tora in recorded time and without receiving any damage how?" Kakashi asked in amazement along with everyone there.

"I made a deal with him which he agree to when I help him with his little problem and now he has a no scratch policy with me but for some reason it doesn't applied to other ninja something about not giving him food or treating him with respect" Naruto replied.

"Well since you are done with that how about another mission, let see there babysitting an elder's grandson, shopping for a neighboring village or help out with potato digging" the Hokage said.

"None we been doing chores for week and I am running out of idea to do them in a way that help me in my training and make them more interesting or fun, I mean there a number of time you can host a dog race until it lose it interest" Naruto said.

"Baka you are just a rookie you have to start off with simple duties and work your way up like everyone else" Iruka said.

"It doesn't mean you have to use us like cheap labor worker" Naruto said.

"*sigh* Look like I need to explain to you how mission work and are assign. Every day the village receives numerous requests from babysitting to assassination, then it is written down and divided into A,B,C or D rank based on it difficulty. Based on you skill and rank you will be assigned the mission of a certain rank that fit your skill level. Because you guys are genin D-rank mission fit you best" the Hokage stated.

"Hmm bribery, threat or blackmail. I got nothing that I can bribe him with yet and I should save those incriminating photos for later so all I left with is threats" Naruto said ignoring the Hokage lecture.

"Naruto! Listen when others are talking to you" the Hokage said with a tick mark.

"Yeah, yeah geez all you do is lectures me but you should know that I no longer troublemaking brat that found 101 way to up in detention that you still think I am. Also in my defense it was quite an accomplishment I mean how many people can find 101 different ways to end up in detention in one school year" Naruto said.

"I still don't know how you got the address of a missing-nin and befriend them in one letter" Iruka deadpanned.

"I have my ways" Naruto replied.

"I afraid to ask but who is the missing-nin that you befriend?" Kakahshi asked.

"Well as of now I am the pen pals and long distance best friend of Uchiha Itachi, also I been sending exploding package to one missing Iwa-nin name Deidara who for some odd reason enjoy them plus a few other" Naruto replied with carefree grin.

"What! You have been writing to my brother?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes and oh yeah he wants me to tell you something when I told him that you were on my team. He me tell you word for word quote 'Foolish brother stop being emo because emos don't amount to anything' end quote" Naruto said.

"I am not emo" Sasuke said with his eyes twitching.

"I wonder if they got my letter and gifts that I send recently" Naruto ponder.

_Akatsuki Headquarter_

"Hmm look like Uzumaki-san send his recently gift to us, he a good kid because of him I always have a supply of pocky to enjoy" Itachi said.

"Pocky? So the Kyuubi jinchuriki newest gifts just arrive huh so where my fired shrimps" Kisame asked.

"Over there and it look like he finish writing the book he told us about because he send each of us a copy. Cheesecake flavor pocky you are a genius Naruto and when the time come I make sure Akatsuki don't get you so you can continue to make the miracle know as pocky" Itachi said.

"What was that Itachi?" Kisame asked taking a bite of fried shrimp.

"Nothing" Itachi replied.

BOOOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"A chain reaction exploding package that created one giant explosion launching a bunch of mini explosion such a beautify form of art" Deidara said with tears in his eyes.

"That not art it an assassination attempt that you keep encouraging" Sasori deadpanned.

_Back to Mission Hall_

"So Ojiisan you better give us a C-rank mission or else something unpleasant will happen to your collection of Icha Icha book that you have hidden in your secret desk drawer" Naruto said.

"Naruto you can't just threaten people especially the Hokage to…" Sakura began but was interrupted.

"Okay anything you want just please don't hurt my precious Icha Icha collection" the Hokage said causing everyone to sweat-drop.

"I mean I will assign a C-rank mission if your sensei thinks you are ready" the Hokage said.

"Well…" Kakashi ponder.

"Oh Ero-Kakashi-sensei tenth wooded floor board from the window in your bedroom" Naruto sing.

"Yep they are really ready for C-rank mission please give it to us I don't want anything to happen to my precious Icha Icha collection" Kakashi while everyone else sweat-drop again.

"Naruto is either a good extortionist or is everyone really perverted" Sakura stated.

"Both and thank Ojiisan for the C-rank mission. Oh, here Ojiisan and Iruka I finish the book I wrote" Naruto said hand them his novel.

"It is a good read even though it has no smut it is as good as the Icha Icha series" Kakashi said.

"Really now well I will give it a try anyway your mission is to guard someone, come in and introduce yourself" the Hokage said.

"What this? A bunch of brats, none of them look like ninja especially the short one with stupid stupid-looking face" the client an old drunk said piss off Naruto but behind him Naruto can see the ghost of a young men.

"Short huh? Well you don't look like much of a drunk without your drink, here Mokona some sake" Naruto said give Mokona the stolen sake.

"My sake" the client cried.

"Ah Wave country fineness" Mokona sigh after drink all of the sake, while Naruto stare at the ghost behind the old men.

"You can see me?" the Ghost asked and Naruto nodded yes to him.

"My name is Kaiza please you have to help my father and family, our country need the bridge to be free so please make sure it is built" Kaiza said.

"I do what I can" Naruto whispered to Kaiza.

"Damn you brat anyway I am the super expert bridge builder Tazuna and you will proctect me until I get back to my country and complete the bridge" Tazuna said.

"Cool but once you are done you have to have the bridge name after me" Naruto said.

"Why?" Tazuna asked.

"Because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of having historic or soon to be historic structure name after them. Also I am that awesome that I need something like a bridge name after me" Naruto said.

"You are really weird you know" Tazuna stated.

"Yes, yes I am" Naruto said.

Omake:

~Academy Days Naruto 101 Ways of Getting Detention: Number 1 to 10 Reason Why I Am Not In Class Today~

_Number 1 Ramen Festival _

"Naruto how come you are not in class right now" said a very irritated Iruka while someone was placing a ramen bowl crown on Naruto.

"Iruka you expect me the number one ramen enthusiast to sit in class while there an annual ramen festival going on?" Naruto asked.

"Well I guess you have a point there but you know that you have a week worth of detention for this" Iruka said.

"You know that I will take a year worth of detention for ramen" Naruto countered.

"True but come on you have to get back to class" Iruka said.

"I will once I get a kiss from the ramen princess" Naruto said as a pretty girl gives him peck on the cheek.

"Lucky teme I can't believe he beat us" Kiba said while Shino, Choji and Shikamaru all nodded.

"That the ramen princess maybe next year I take a day off and come with you, also Kiba, Shino, Choji and Shikamura you have detention too" Iruka said.

"Worth it" Kiba, Shino, Choji and Shikamaru all said together.

_Number 2 I Lock Myself In_

"Naruto answer the door and explain why you are not in class again" Iruka said banging on the door.

"Iruka is that you I need help, I lock myself in and can't get out that why I am not in class so can you help me" Naruto said from inside.

"You really do need help if you can't unlock yourself from the inside, anyway come and open the door" Iruka said.

"I can't because I lock myself in so you have to come in and help me" Naruto said.

"Naruto quit playing around" Iruka said.

"I not" Naruto replied.

"Find then, I'm coming in" Iruka said as he broke the door.

"Iruka was that necessary the door was unlock" Naruto said.

"If it was unlocked then why can't…" Iruka began but stop when he saw Naruto head stick out of a chest with multiply locks on it.

"Naruto what the hell happen?" Iruka asked.

"I told you I lock myself in. It happened when I was practice my escape routine then I accidently lost the keys and forgot how to escape" Naruto said.

"May I ask how you lock yourself in the chest by yourself?" Iruka asked.

"You may but I can't answer because I don't really know myself" Naruto replied.

"Okay I get some back up to help you out but you will have to serve detention for this" Iruka said.

"For not being in class today?" Naruto asked.

"Yes but also for being stupid enough to lock yourself in" Iruka said.

_Number 3 Doctor's Note_

"Naruto how did end up in an insane asylum when you supposed to be in class right now?" Iruka asked.

"Didn't you get my doctor's note?" Naruto asked.

"Yes but all it say was you were diagnoses with dissociative disorder and send to an insane asylum until you get a grip on reality and it was diagnose by a foot doctor. Can you explain why you have a foot doctor and how come he diagnoses you with dissociative disorder when it should be done by a psychologist?" Iruka asked.

"Well the ANBU want to check my feet out to find out if I have a foot Kekkei Genkai because they can't seem to catch me for some reason so the send me to a foot doctor to check it out. But once I got there I claim that he was a doctor that cannot treat or diagnose me even though he was a license doctor. Then that argument went on for an hours until he stated that I have dissociative disorder and said I need to be treated for it" Naruto said.

"Let me get this straight he was a license doctor right?" Iruka asked Naruto nodded yes.

"But you claim that he that can't treat or diagnose you?" Iruka again asked Naruto nodded yes.

"Why was he unable to treat or diagnose you?" Iruak asked.

"Well I may not be a ninja but I am a ninja in training so I still entitle to some of the ninja rights, like going to a ninja school, do ninja training and have ninja day. That was why he was not able to treat or be my doctor in any way because he was not a ninja doctor" Naruto said straight face.

"I getting this straighten out but you got detention for missing class and ending up in an insane asylum, also since we here we must as well find a psychologist because you have problems" Iruka sighed.

"It better be a ninja psychologist or else they can't treat me" Naruto said.

"You know what I don't know if anyone can really treat at all" Iruka deadpanned.

_Number 4 Log Day_

"Naruto what are you doing out of class and carry a log for that matter?" Iruka asked.

"Praise the Log Iruka" Naruto said.

"Amen, now explain" Iruka said.

"Well I want to honor the great Log so I decide to dedicate a day for the honorable Log and pick the first day a week from the first day of spring for it to be Log Day for spring is when all plant grow and tree bloom. And since it is a holiday today there should be no school today" Naruto said.

"Naruto I agree with you but until you petition it and the Hokage agree to it, it not an official holiday so you can't take the day off. I'm afraid I have to get you detention for today" Iruaka said.

"Damn okay let go but can I take Log#7 with me he my first best friend?" Naruto asked.

"Okay and we can start on that petition to make Log Day an office holiday during detention" Iruka said.

"Okay let go Log#7" Naruto said.

_Number 5 Career Change _

"Naruto what are you doing here and not in class again for the hundred times?" Iruka asked.

"I am here to give my inspirational speech dattebayo" Naruto said.

"Dattebayo" everyone there said.

"Dattebayo?" Iruka asked.

"Dattebayo" everyone said again.

"It is the word that my speech based on and the one I use to inspire us, dattebayo" Naruto said.

"Dattebayo" everyone said.

"Naruto what the hell is going on you not starting a cult are you because that is a bad thing" Iruka said.

"No I actually exploring my career option in case this ninja thing doesn't work out and decide my next best career choice would be a motivational speaker. Right now I trying it out by information people about the power of dattebayo, dattebayo" Naruto said.

"Dattebayo" everyone said.

"Are they going to do that every time and why did you choose dattebayo?" Iruka asked.

"Yes and I use dattebayo because believe it didn't work out, dattebayo" Naruto said.

"Dattebayo" everyone said.

"Now that I know believe it didn't work I somewhat glad but you still have detention for this, I don't know what this is really but you have detention for this dattebayo" Iruka said.

"Dattebayo" everyone said.

"Dattebayo?" Naruto said.

"Dattebayo" everyone said.

"Dattebayo" Iruka replied.

"Dattebayo" everyone said.

_Number 6 Cat-sit_

"Naruto why are there tiger cubs with you" Iruka asked a safe distance away.

"Well I have to cat-sit them for a few hours and decide to bring them to class but lost them somehow on the way to class and spend the rest of the day looking for them. Now that I found them it is time to take them home and that what I am doing right now" Naruto said.

"How I taking care of tiger cubs count as cat-sitting?" Iruka asked

"Tiger are of the big cat family so they are cats" Naruto said.

"Touché but you have detention for this" Iruka said. 

_Number 7 It Not Saturday _

"Naruto wake up you have detention again for sleeping in and missing class today" Iruka said.

"What, class? But isn't today Saturday meaning we no class because it is the weekend?" a sleepy Naruto asked.

"Naruto today is Monday, how you think it is Saturday escape me" Iruka said.

"Man, what happens to weekend?" Naruto asked.

_Number 8 When Did Sunday Change_

"Naruto wake up you have detention again for sleeping in and missing class today again" Iruka said.

"What it is not Sunday today?" Naruto asked rubbing his eyes.

"No it Wednesday" Iruka replied.

"When did they change Sunday to be some other day other than today?" Naruto asked.

"I think since every, I really need to get you a calendar Naruto" Iruka replied.

_Number 9 It My Day Off_

"Naruto wake up you have detention again for sleeping in and missing class today again, this is the third time it happen and I know for sure that you didn't mistaken today for the weekend since I got you that calendar" Iruka said.

"What Iruka-sensei didn't you get my notice I am taking a day off today" Naruto yawned.

"What do you mean a day off?" Iruka asked.

"Well I been really stressful out from all of the school work so I did what any normal person who overwork does and take the day off" Naruto said.

"Naruto you are an academy student you don't get to take a day off" Iruka said.

"We should" Naruto said.

"But you don't" Iruka said.

Number 10 I Can't Pay for Bail

"Umm I here because I got a note that stated Uzumaki Naruto was in jail" Iruka said to the two ANBU guarding the jail cell.

"Hey Iruka-sensei I been in prison for so long that it change me, I not the same man I once was" Naruto said.

"Uzumaki-san you have been in here for an hour" the bunny masked ANBU said.

"It is the longest hour in my entire life since ever but hey look I already started a prison gang with Log#7 and Mr. Pillow. Log#7 is in here because he robs a paper store saying something about crime against tree kind while Mr. Pillow kills someone" Naruto said.

"Naruto did you forgot to take you ADD meds again?" Iruka asked.

"Maybe" Naruto said.

"So what did he do this time paint a nobleman face, put itching powder in council member underwear or dump syrup…" Iruka asked.

"Maple syrup, the maple makes it special" Naruto interrupted.

"Dump _maple_ syrup on store owners. So what crime did he commit to end up in jail for?" Iruka asked.

"Well he did do all those things plus some other more but he not in any major trouble for any of those thing, what more he not a criminal he is by the order of the Hokage to be send here to sever time out in this prison cell for refusing to cleaning his room" the cat ANBU said.

"Wait time out?" Iruka asked.

"Yes" the bunny ANBU said.

"For not cleaning his room?" Iruka asked again.

"I know it seen a little extreme for that but once you look at the mess you agree that he really need to clean it and having him sit here and think about until he do it is the right punishment" the cat ANBU said.

"Then why does the note said he need bail money?" Iruka asked.

"Because I do" Naruto said.

"Naruto you're not really severing time in jail you're in an extreme form of time out" Iruka said.

"I know but I still doing some hard time" Naruto replied.

"Then what you are asking is not bail but bribery" Iruka said.

"What the different?" Naruto asked.

"Bail is money you pay for letting you out of jail but promised that you will return for your court date bribery is money you pay for others to look the other way when you do something wrong" Iruka said.

"But bail become bribery when you don't return for court and that what I doing Iruka-sensei so please lend me some bribery er I mean bail money" Naruto said.

"You miss class for this, you know what not only do you have detention once you out you can rotted in here until you decide to clean up your act and clean your room, until then they can throw the books at you" Iruka said.

"You know since he is not really a criminal we can't actually do that" the bunny ANBU said.

"When I said throw the books at him I mean literally throw the book at him, now Naruto goodbye and see you on the outside" Iruka said.

"Wait you can't do that where my rights" Naruto said.

"It either this or real jail and all thing consider this is a fair punishment" Iruka said.

"Wait I'm innocent it wasn't me who did it, it was Mr. Green with a lead pipe in the kitchen I tell you" Naruto said.

"What is he talking about?" the cat ANBU asked.

"I really don't know sometime but I think he need to take his ADD meds and he should get back to normal, well as normal as he ever will be" Iruka said.

A/N: To the people out there Sayonara no Jutsu


	9. Chapter 9 A Sword that Can't Cut through

Land of Wave and Zubuza's Sword that Can't Cut through Reinforce Rice Paper Arc:

Chapter 9~A Sword that Can't Cut through Reinforce Rice Paper~

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me or other random reference

A/N: To my loyal follower thank for your patient, been busy month among other things. My beta is currently working on the pervious chapter.

"normal Speech"

'thoughts'

**Demon and other uber being**

Different language 

_At the Front Gate of Konoha_

"Oh Great Spirit known as the Creator, Mother Earth who watches over all living thing, Kami, Shinigami, Lord of Hell, Lady Luck, Fate, Destiny, the Log, Shinobi no Kami, Inari Okami, Ramen no Kami and all others divine deities I, Uzumaki Naruto, am about to go on a journey and pray that those who are not too busy with their holy duties to bless us and watch over me, my team, my sensei and my client so that we may have a successful mission. I offer my 'Oh My Kami Frosted Triple Layer Chocolate Fudge Cake' which I place at the alter for you all and the ashes from a noble log that became wood chucks after it save the life of a ninja, praise the Log, which I shall give in the form of the tradition ritual dance in honor of the Log and Mother Earth so that the ashes may enrich the land and bear new trees that will be made into a more noble logs" Naruto said in strange wardrobes dancing a strange dance as throw ashes left and right.

"Dobe, what the hell are you doing?" Sasuke asked.

"Praying for a successful mission to all kind of deities it is part of my religious practices" he answered.

"Most of those deities are not from the same religion" Sakura said.

"I take any deities that are willing to offer their blessing to me because miracles are really rare. Now I need to make a bet to further the successfulness of the mission" Naruto said as he walked to a chibi piggybank of himself with a word bubble that said 'I bet you will have a successful mission'.

"I bet that I will have a successful mission and return with a kickass hat" he said as he deposited a 100 ryo in it.

"Okay explain that now" Sasuke said pointing at the piggybank.

"Oh that, well people use to use my luck for a safe and successful mission by making bets on their mission with me but I got tired of them waking me up at night or when they would bug me when I was busy so I set up this piggybank as a substitute, all the money goes to ninja family who lost a member of their family in the line of duty. Just make a bet so we can have some luck on this mission" he said.

"I don't need luck I have Sasuke-kun with me" Sakura said with heart in her eyes which earn a whack from Naruto's wooded stick.

"No going fan-girl, bad Haruno-san" Naruto said.

"Yo, it looks like the gang is all here. Naruto we are going on a long journey you should have pack more stuff than what you are carrying right now" Kakashi said as he appeared with Tazuna next to him.

"I did and consider that I carry everything with me I brought more things than needed. The only reason it looks like I am carry almost nothing is because I seal it all in storage scrolls and I also have a key to a subspace universe that hold an entire city that link to me by Mokona. Anyways I thought that by using a storage scroll I can travel lightly while still carrying the same number of supplies" he said.

"Storage scrolls damn it why didn't I think of that. Naruto do you have extra storage scrolls that we can use" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah you can pay me back when you get the money" he said as he hand them the scrolls.

"Pay you?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah pay me, scrolls and inks are not cheap also Haruno-san put this beanie on, your hair color stand out too much and emo goggle for you so don't lose your precious clan's eyes" he said handing them the items.

"My hair what about you, your blond hair and orange colored clothes stand out more than pink" she stated while Sasuke put on the goggle because he didn't want to lose his eyes.

"One, the orange I have on is a dark and earthly colored so it can blend with the environment very well and two, until you can pull a prank behind the ANBU back while wear neon orange you cannot comment me on such matter" he countered.

"Hmm you do tend to prank the ANBU a lot and manage to get away with it" Kakashi stated.

"Well if I didn't I wouldn't have gotten pay for my S-rank mission" he said.

"Naruto stop making stuff up only jonin and ANBU get S-rank mission" Sakura stated.

"And me but all of them so far is village security evaluation" he said.

"What?" she asked.

"I prank the villagers and find flaw in the village security which is fun to do which I was planning on doing if I have to do one more D-rank mission but now that we have a C-rank mission I do it when I come back and you guys can help but you must go through the initiation first" he replied.

"Even though doing an S-rank mission as a genin sounds great my instinct however are telling me that the initiation is something I will regret" Sasuke said.

"Oh you will however we worry about that later for now let's go!" Naruto said excitedly.

"What are you so excited about?" Sakura asked.

"Cause this is the first time that I left the village willingly, the first time I left the village was when someone stuff me into a potatoes sack and put me in a cart that was leaving Konoha. To make the long story short I ended up joining the circus in order to get back home" Naruto said.

"Kid, you're joking right?" Tazuna asked.

"Nope that really did happen and I failed my second attempt of becoming a ninja because I miss about a whole year worth of learning" he stated with a straight face.

"Am I going to be safe with this brat?" Tazuna asked.

"Well depend on how much you piss me off. If you want to be safe and still have your sake with you, you shouldn't piss me off so much" he said with an evil grin.

"I be good" Tazuna said hugging his liquor.

"Good now let go get our first Ninja badge" Naruto said tilting a baseball cap that suddenly appear on his head.

"Pika pika" Mokona said.

"Naruto should I asked what the hell you are doing?" Kakashi asked.

"Sorry, I'm still going through my cosplay phase anyway let hurry so we can get to the diner before morning" he said.

"Diner? Naruto we are headed to the Land of Wave that our destination" Kakashi stated.

"Yeah I know but it is tradition that we should stop by any diner on the way for pancakes" he said.

"Naruto we can't because we don't have time" Kakashi said.

"What no pancakes?" he said with a face that looks like someone told him there no such thing as the saint log that give out present for the good boys and girls for the winter holiday Log-mas.

"Sorry we can't but how about on the way back we will stop by one for pancakes" Kakashi said.

"Okay let do this mission for pancakes" he said.

"What about me, I the one paying you" Tazuna said.

"And with each bite of the yummy pancakes I will be remaindered of the drunk who money pay for the pancakes" Naruto said.

"Either I end up dead or this brat will drive me insane" Tazuna said.

_On the Way to Land of Waves_

"Hmm Naruto you are oddly quiet I figure that you would be complain or throwing a tantrum by now" Kakashi commented after a few hours into their journey.

"…"

"Naruto?" he asked due to the lack of response.

"…zzzZZZ" 

"NARUTO!" he yelled eye twitching after he turn and saw Naruto sleepwalking with his eyes open blowing a snot bubble.

"Huh? Oh Kakashi sorry about that I tend to sleepwalk with my eyes open if I fall asleep while walking. Don't know why it happen but for some reason it happens" Naruto said rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes.

"Are there any more strange habit that you have that I should know about?" Kakashi asked.

"I might have a few more but I don't really keep track of them to know what to tell you" Naruto replied.

"Anyway Naruto I didn't get the chance to asked sooner but has there been any situation with the villagers that needed to be dealt with since the meeting with the council about your heritage and about your furry little problem?" Kakashi asked.

"I don't remember mentioning anything about project cotton tail during the meeting" he replied.

"Project cotton tail?" Sasuke asked.

"Something that Naruto did that forbid him from every having any more cute and fluffy animal as pet unless a certain condition is met and no Naruto I was talking about Kurama, not that" Kakashi said.

"Oh that 'furry little problem' sorry about that and as for any situation that needed to be dealt with well there an increase in the number of assassins that are following me but I figure that it will eventually die down now that I am currently out of the village" he said.

"There are assassins following you?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah, well at least that what I concluded from observing them" he said.

"And what did you observe from them?" Kakashi asked.

"Well they are all female around my age. Currently they are observing and gather information on me by following me everywhere I go and dumpster driving through my trash. They're not very skilled since I can detect them nor are they very stealthy since I can hear them making sound and for some strange reason giggling when they are retreating. And I assume that they are assassins due to the sense of dread and impending doom that I sense from being near them" he said.

"Naruto those are not assassins they are fan-girls and I think some of the council member told or mention something about your heritage and now they are having their daughter or a female family member pursuit you. The different between an assassin and fan-girl is that an assassin mission is to destroy your life because they were hired to do so while fan-girl destroy your life due to an obsession they have for you, you got to remember that" Kakashi said.

"If I am given a choice between the two I would rather face an assassin than fan-girl" Sasuke said shivering when he stole a glance at Sakura.

"Ero-Kakashi-sensei, they can't be fan-girls because I am the village pariah and I don't get to have fan-girls" Naruto replied.

"Deny is the way to go dobe if you ignore them hopeful they will go away" Sasuke said.

"There no point in telling Sasuke that his method will never work or Naruto, that like his father, it is in his genes that he will have a lot of girls falling for him" Kakashi sighed.

"But at least it will be entertaining to watch them learn that fact, now let see what happen next" he said as he when back to reading the novel that Naruto wrote.

"Umm Kakashi-sensei since we are headed to Wave country I was wondering if they have ninja in that country? Is there a chance that we will encounter enemy ninja?" Sakura asked.

"No there are no hidden villages in Wave and since this is a C-rank mission there's little chance we will meet any ninja at all, the most trouble we most likely encounter will be a few bandits" Kakashi said.

"Unless some missing-nin took the wrong direction and end up crossing path with us" Naruto said.

"How did you come to that conclusion, usually the main reason that most ninjas encounter an enemy missing ninjas on a C-rank mission is due to the client lying or lack of information" Kakashi asked unnerving Tazuna .

"Because they have the word missing in their title so I thought they got the title because they miss the right turn a lot or the word missing they use is related to the word lost" he said.

"Naruto missing-nin means they are runaway shinobi, not lost or miss the right turn shinobi" Kakashi deadpanned.

"So that what their title means huh…oh hey look a puddle in the middle of the road on a sunny day when it hasn't rain in days that could only mean one thing" Naruto said.

'What the big deal' Tazuna thought.

'What is Naruto doing now' Sakura thought.

'It just a stupid puddle…wait he said it hasn't rain in days and it is a sunny day something wrong here' Sasuke noted.

'So Naruto notice but I wish he didn't announced it, now the enemy will be on guard oh well I guess I will have to get ready for battle now' Kakashi mused.

'How did he found out' the mist ninja hiding in the puddle thought.

"Skipping rocks?" Tree asked.

"Skipping rocks" Naruto replied.

"Skipping rocks" Mokona agreed.

"Skipping rocks!" Cloud cheered.

"Skipping rocks" Obito responded to their antics.

'Skipping rocks' everyone else thought as they sweat-drop.

"Okay here I go" Naruto said as he throws a pebble size rock that hit the puddle then sink and strike one of the mist ninja painfully.

"That didn't work let try a bigger rock now" he said as throw a fist size rock that hit the puddle with a lot of force then sink again this time striking the other mist ninja causing some brain damage along with a big bump on the head all the while Kakashi look on with amusement.

"Okay third time the charm this time with an even bigger rock" he said as he throw a giant body crushing boulder which miss and hit the ground next to them cause the earth to shake.

"I miss" he said as the two mist ninja wet themselves which cause them to jump out of the puddle because they didn't want to swim in their own urine.

"People coming out of a small puddle like that could only mean one thing" he said.

"That right Naruto, now everyone gets into formation" Kakashi said.

"It was a magical puddle and now I can get my wishes granted" he said causing everyone to face-fault.

"The only wish that we grant is your death wish" Gozu one of the mist ninja said.

"You will pay for what you did brat" Meizu the other mist ninja said.

"So I guessing that it wasn't a magical puddle" Naruto said.

"No it wasn't Naruto" Kakashi replied.

"And I won't get my wish granted will I" he stated.

"No you won't" Kakashi answered.

"Also they are enemy ninjas and now we have to face them right?" he asked.

"Right" Kakashi said.

"So I guessing that I should not tell you about the bad news right now" he said.

"What bad news?" Kakashi asked.

"Well I kind of lost my untested custom made explosive tags that I am not allow to test within a hundred kilometer of Konoha" he said.

"Where was the last time you have them?" Kakashi asked.

"Well I have them on me during my second attempt at skipping rock…oh wait there they are" he said pointing to a block of explosive tags in front of Gozu and Meizu.

"And it is a good thing that we are way pass the hundred kilometer limited of Konoha" he said.

"And why is that Naruto?" Kakashi said.

"Because the tags are lit and the untested custom made explosive tags will be tested" he said as the tags explode causing a pillar of fire to erupt send the two mist ninjas into the air. Once in the air another explosion went off in the form of a fiery phoenix send them crashing down. Then the phoenix send a shower of fire down on them giving them second to third degree burn however they live through that but was in a lot of pain.

"Okay those are keepers once I get back I'm going to make more of them" he said.

"When you do save some for me so I can buy some" Sasuke said.

"Sure why not, now let see what we got here hmm only 50000 ryo man you missing ninjas must be falling on hard time oh well maybe I can find some use for your gauntlets and masks" he said digging into the missing ninja pockets.

"Naruto what are you doing now?" Kakashi asked.

"Spoils of war" he replied.

"Okay anyway you guys stay here while I interrogate them for some answer" Kakashi said.

"If they don't talk I got more explosive tags to test Ero-Kakashi-sensei among other thing" he said.

"We talk don't let him near us" the two mist ninja said point at Naruto.

"Aw why does everyone want to ruin my fun" Naruto said.

"Well it seems that they were after you Tazuna care to explain how a C-rank mission is now a B-rank mission" Kakashi said sending a glare at him after interrogating the missing ninjas.

"That because I didn't have enough money to pay for a C-rank. You see Wave country is poor due to the control Gatou have over it who is most likely the person that send those ninja. Gatou who officially runs a large shipping company but sell drugs and other illegal items in the background used money and violence to get what he wants. And about a year ago he came to Wave country and took control of it by the same mean, now the only chance this country has is the bridge that I am building. Well now you know I guess you will quit the mission and if you do I will definitely be killed but don't worry if I die my cute ten year-old grandson will just cry for a few days and my daughter will live a sad life hating Konoha ninja forever. But it won't be your fault" Tazuna said.

"Old man there no needed to guilt trips us, I continuing this mission even if I have to do it by myself. I made a promise and I won't go back on it" Naruto said.

"What! Naruto are you crazy this is way out of our league, we have to turn back it is too dangerous for us to continue" Sakura said.

"Yeah it is dangerous to continue, what you point?" Naruto asked tilting his head.

"My point is that we can die you baka" she said.

"So?" Naruto replied.

"So, how can dying not be a big deal for you are you suicidal or are you that stupid" she said.

"Dying is not a big deal for me because the day I became a ninja I knew that I will have to take a mission that might be my last for that is the life of a ninja. Knowing full well of this I accept it and continue to walk this path without regret because I am doing something worth dying for. Beside there are other fate worsts than death. For instance living a life full of fear and hate, living a life where everyone you love is death because you are unable to save them or living a life of loneliness, compared those to death, death is a blessing rather than a curse. I will continue to do this mission with or without you because it is not only the right thing to do but also I would rather die than regret living a life knowing full well that I could have save a lot of innocent people but didn't" he said.

"Well it look like Naruto wants to continue so how about the rest of you, we decide by a majority vote?" Kakashi asked.

"I said we continue" Sasuke said.

"If Sauke-kun wants to continue than I think we should go with what he said because he will protect me" Sakura said with heart in her eyes which earn whack from Naruto's wooded stick.

"No going fan-girl now tells us what you really think" Naruto said.

"Well I think it is really dangerous to continue but we are the only one that can help them so we should continue" Sakura said.

"Look likes we are continuing this mission but if it becomes too dangerous we will turn back" Kakashi said.

"Well how about sending a message back to Konoha for some back up before we continue" Naruto said.

"That is a good idea why didn't I come up with it?" Kakashi stated.

"Because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of coming up with great idea and since you didn't think of it Ero-Kakashi-sensei that must mean you not much of a ninja that you thought you were" Naruto said.

"That really hurt Naruto" Kakashi said with anime tears.

"The truth hurts Ero-Kakashi-sensei, the truth hurts" Naruto replied.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Technique), alright Pakkun I have message that I need you to send to the Hokage" Kakashi said to the little dog that he summon.

"Wait can he sends this too?" Naruto asked pulling out a letter.

"What is it Naruto" Kakashi asked.

"My will that stated who get my stuff and what they can do as a tribute to my memory" he said.

"So some big ass overkilled of a prank in honor of you after your death?" Kakashi asked.

"Yep" he replied.

"Know what your pranks are like I really hope that you don't die anytime soon or at least before me, anyway yeah I can send it" Kakashi said taking the letter and giving it to Pakkun.

"Okay I will get this to him as soon as I can" Pakkun said.

"Did that dog just talk?" Sakura asked.

"Yes, now let head out" Kakashi said.

"Okay but since it will get more dangerous from here on out I think we could use some extra pair of eyes, ears and nose Kurama no Mon: Reberu 1 Ririsu (Gate of Kurama: Level 1 Release)" Naruto said summoning Kurama out in his one tail chibi form.

"**I am the Kyuubi no Kitsune fear me"** Kurama said as he appeared.

"Do you have to do that every time I call you out?" Naruto asked.

"**No but it fun"** he said.

"And people say I'm crazy" Naruto muttered.

"**Because you are, now what do you want not that I don't mind getting out of your head from time to time I mean it is pretty spacious in your mind but I like some fresh air too"** he said.

"Well first some mocking my intelligent and second use your super sense as an extra pair of eyes, ears and nose to warn us if an enemy is nearby" Naruto said.

"**Okay but can you at least let me do it in a cooler form other than my chibi form" **he asked.

"No you are okay as you are now but if the enemy is stronger than we can handle then I might give you a power up" Naruto said.

"**Fine at least I get to get out more"** he said.

"Umm Naruto are you sure this is a good idea?" Kakashi asked.

"It fine he will behave right Kurama or does Mugen need to teach you a lesion again and there the box of believe it" Naruto said.

"**Yes I will behave and also what you are doing should be count as animal abuse"** Kurama said.

"Yeah but you are more of a chakra being than an animal" Naruto said.

"**But it still cruel and unusual punishment"** he stated.

"Well like me you did a lot bad things in your past life to earn such misfortune" Naruto said.

"**Well I did cause a lot of chaos and calamity along with destroying a few towns here and there before I was seal"** Kurama pondered while a confuse client, a cautious team seven other than Naruto continue their journey with Naruto, Kurama, Cloud, Tree, Mokona and Obito moving along without a second thought.

_Back at Konoha_

"Kakashi is right Naruto's novel is as good as Icha Icha series even without any smut. Speaking of Naruto this is his first time out of the village and I wonder how he is doing right now" The Thrid Hokage pondered while his clone dealt with his paperwork.

"Well his first time out of the village willingly" he added as an afterthought.

"Yeah it didn't take long for him to grow on you but if their anything to worry about it what he will do to any opponent that he might have to face" one of the clone stated.

"I fear for the people that become Naruto's enemies, for their wellbeing and their sanity" another clone stated.

"Right I mean look what happen when he was on a sugar high and accidently enter Konoha Strict Correctional Facility and TI headquarter" the first clone stated.

"Man we got a lot of information out of those prisoners that we didn't have before that day but after meeting Naruto in that stated they were never the same again" the second clone said.

"And on that day he ended up in many of the village's bingo books even before he became a ninja, I mean how many people can do that" the thrid clone stated.

"Yep he got a lot strange moniker and it may not be a 'flee on sight' but he did get a 'don't bet on sight'" the first clone said.

"All I can hope for is that he didn't end up doing anything that will end up with me having to do more paperwork than need like conquering some foreign land" the second said.

"Hey I got a message from Kakashi and Naruto's will" Pakkun said appearing in front of the Hokage.

"Naruto's will what happen to him?" the pale Hokage asked.

"Nothing he is fine he said to send it just in case" Pakkun said.

"Okay that good, now let sees what the message said. Hmm look like team seven ran into some trouble and want some backup" the Hokage mused as he look over the letter.

"Wonder who to send, now let look at Naruto's will…oh no if this is Naruto last request I must send backup to make sure he doesn't die before me. If only the villagers know how creative and fearful his prank can be they would be less likely to try to kill him" the Hokage said.

"Hey dad do you have any mission for us to do" Asuma said as he and team ten entered.

"Yes I just got one right now and it is of the utmost important, take a look at this" the Hokage said handed his son the will.

"What it is?" Asuma asked.

"It Naruto's will" the Hokage replied.

"Naruto's will!" Asuma and team ten said.

"What happen?" Asuma asked.

"Is he okay?" Ino asked.

"Did he die?" Choji asked.

"What troublesome thing happens to him?" Shikamaru asked.

"He fine he just sends that just in case what I want you look at is his last request" the Hokage said.

"His last request…oh no this is worse than what he has plan in his last will" Asuma said.

"I know and I plan to have that request rated and written down in our top secret dangerous battle strategy. What I want you and your team to do is back up team seven and make sure Naruto doesn't die before me" the Hokage said.

"If this is what he have plan for his last request than I make sure he doesn't die before me" Asuma said.

"Yes I get to be with Sasuke-kun" Ino said.

"How come Naruto last request have you guys on edge?" Shikamaru asked.

"His last request is for his ultimate prank to be pulled after his death in memory of him" Asuma said.

"Troublesome if that what he wants than he definitely not dying before me" Shikamaru said.

"Yeah we make sure he live" Chouji said.

"Okay what the big deal here" Ino asked.

"Let said the pranks Naruto pull so far is nothing compare to what he can really do" Shikamaru said.

"Also when you meet him do evaluations to see if I should worry about any increase paperwork" the Hokage.

"Okay dad, team get pack and really to head out" Asuma said.

_Back to Team Seven_

"ACHOO! I never get sick so why am I sneezing so much today" Naruto said.

"**I know idiots like you don't catch cold maybe someone is talking about you behind your back"** Kurama said.

"Maybe…hey stop calling me an idiot" Naruto said.

"**Hmm let me think about it ah no, considering that it took you a few second for you to notice that I insulted you, you deserved to be mock"** Kurama said.

"Teme" Naruto said.

"**Baka"** Kurama said.

"Teme!"

"**Baka!"**

"Teme!"

"**Baka!"**

"Okay you definitely have to admitted that Naruto and the Kyuubi arguing like a bunch of little brat is really a strange sight to see" Sakura said.

"The Kyuubi?" Tazuna asked.

"Nothing that you should worry about Tazana and yeah Sakura it is really weird but we will eventually get used to it along with any strangeness that comes with Naruto" Kakashi said.

"Hn" Sasuke said.

"Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream… " Naruto began to sing while they travel across the river.

"Naruto please don't sing that song it is annoying" Sakura said as Naruto stop singing and began to hum the song.

"Dobe!" Sasuke growled as Naruto stop humming and began to whisper the song.

"Naruto did you remember to take your medication this morning?" Kakashi asked.

"Maybe" he said.

"Naruto!" Kakashi said.

"Okay I forgot" he said.

"Medication, wait Naruto is really insane" Sakura asked.

"No he but he is diagnosis with AHAD. Naruto please take them now we don't need you to be all hyper, the last time that happen you trash an entire district and we ended up having to force feed you your medicine and then put you into a padded room until you calm down" Kakashi said.

"Fine and by the way cool bridge" Naruto said as they all saw the bridge that was being built.

"Yeah that my pride and joy" Tazuna said.

"Hey could you make it orange?" Naruto asked.

"Orange?" Tazuna asked.

"Yeah orange it is a warm color anditwillmakethebridgestando ut" Naruto said.

"Naruto take you pill now you are beginning to speaking hyper speed" Kakashi said.

"Okay" Naruto said as he took his medicine and went all quiet.

"We should have a few hour of silent now" Kakashi sighed.

"This is as far as I can take you" the ferryman said once he got them to the other side.

"Thank, okay let go we are almost there" Tazuna said.

"There is a disturbance in the force" Naruto stop to say after traveling some distance.

"**Yeah I can feel someone watching us"** Kurama said.

"There!" he said as he threw a shuriken at the bush.

"It only a rabbit you baka" Sakura said when Kakashi check the bush and saw that Naruto almost hit a snow white rabbit with the shuriken.

"We can prepare that season confuse rabbit later for dinner since I am not allow to have cute fluffy animal as pet any more due to project cotton tail but right now I have to find where the enemy is, Mugen no Sora" he said calling out his scythe and taking out another shuriken.

"Baka there're no enemy here, stop trying to act cool" Sakura said.

"Yeah stop trying to scare us brat" Tazuna said.

'Season confuse rabbit? Wait Naruto right that a snow rabbit and it only white during winter but it is spring now which mean it kept in a cage to use for substitution so the enemy is already here' Kakashi mused.

"There!" Naruto said throwing another shuriken.

"Damn they dodge again I have to try something new" he said as he warp a tag onto his kunai and threw it which explode on impact in the form of a lion head when it hit the tree.

"Oops" Naruto said.

"Oops? That doesn't sound good especially coming from you" Sasuke said.

"Well it wasn't supposed to explode what I meant to do was release a paralyzing spore to bring down the enemy or a least weaken them. I guess I mistaken them for one of my custom explosive tags" he said.

"How many different dangerous seal tags did you make so far" Sasuke deadpanned.

"A lot" he said.

"Every get down" Kakashi said as he and everyone but Naruto duck down as a large broadsword came hurling toward them. Naruto out of instinct use his scythe and successfully deflect the sword into a nearby tree.

"Man that was close I saw my life flash before me and I have to say my life really suck…oh hey, look a free sword" Naruto said as he about to head toward the sword to collect it.

"Naruto why did you do that instead of dodging it, you could have gotten cut in half?" Kakashi said.

"Because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of not dodging and also if I dodge then I get the dread boot to the head" he said.

"Boot to the head?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah that what Ero-seishin use to do. He said why dodge when you can block which give you a chance to follow up with an attack" Naruto said.

"You know I'm not him and dodging work well in this situation" Kakashi said.

"Yeah sorry" he said.

"Ah Kakashi of the Sharingan I can see why the demon brother were defeated so easily" the bandaged face mist ninja said appear on top of his sword.

"It, it, it…" Naruto muttered.

"Ah it seem that the brat have heard of me" the mist ninja said.

"It hammers time!" Naruto said causing everyone to sweat-drop.

"What?" mist ninja said eye twitching.

"Weird for some reason I was compelled to say that" Naruto pondered.

"Must be the pant that Mummy-face is wearing" Mokona stated in a matter-as-fact tone.

"Yep, yep Mummy-face wear some weird pant" Cloud said.

"Not only his pant but also his outfit, Mummy-face wear some strange outfit too" Tree added.

"I know only Mummy-face there would be shitless in mist like this, I mean is he a ninja or a male model" Naruto said.

"Mummy-face! MUMMY-FACE! Stop calling me that I have a name you know and it even in the bingo book too" the mist ninja said eye twitching with big tick mark.

"Well sorry but it not like we know who you are, it not like we can said "Hey look it Zabuza Momochi Demon of the Hidden Mist who killed one hundred of his classmates to earn that moniker, wield the Kubikirbocho, one of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist and now is a missing ninja of Kirigakure after his failed attempt at assassinating the Mizukage in a coup". Maybe if you tell us who you are than we can stop calling you Mummy-face, Mummy-face, so who are you?" Naruto asked.

"I am Zabuza Momochi Demon of the Hidden Mist, you insolent brat" Zabuza said eye twitching even more.

"Really I thought that Zabuza would have more of an impressive sword than that" Naruto stated.

"What the hell is wrong with my sword?" Zabuza asked.

"Well it looks like it can't cut through reinforce rice paper" he stated.

"This is the Kubikirbocho, the Decapitating Carving Knife, a giant butcher knife earning the title of "Seversword" made to cut through flesh and bone cutting rice paper is the least of your worry" Zabuza said.

"Reinforce rice paper and you didn't said anything about it cutting through it so it must be as weak as I think it is" he said.

"Brat I will kill you!" Zabuza screamed.

"Not without going through me he may be an annoying brat but I can't let him die before me not with what he have plan for his last request and also it my responsibility or something along that line" Kakashi said.

"Yeah go Ero-Kakashi-sensei go beat him and his dumb vampire sword" Naruto said.

"Vampire sword?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah the stupid sword keeps saying it want to drink my blood and stuff, Mugen want to cut it in half for saying such thing to me" Naruto said.

"Right anyway you guys surround and protect Tazuna, I will deal with Zabuza by myself" Kakashi said revealing his Sharingan while team seven got into formation around Tazuna.

"Well, let see how Copy Ninja Kakashi who master a thousand jutsu handle me Zabuza Momochi Demon of the Hidden Mist, Suiton: Kirigakure no Jutsu (Water Style: Hiding in Mist Technique)" Zabuza said as he disappear while the mist that suddenly appear and got thicker.

"Eight choices liver, lungs, spine, clavical vein, neck vein, brain, kidneys, heart which one should I go after?" Zabuza said in chilling voice around them.

"You know a normal person have two lungs and two kidneys so there more than eight choices and since you are taking requests I pick my left kidneys since it been on bad side. My right side is my good side especially when the light hit the right angle" Naruto said.

"Naruto, please don't encourage the blood crazed killer ninja" Kakashi reprimand.

"Brat I teach you to fear me" Zabuza growled increase his killer intent.

'What incredibly killing intent it feel like I'll be killed if I make a single move. The intensity of a jounin battle, it feel as if my life being squeezed, I can't take I rather die now and get it over with' Sasuke thought rising his kunai.

"Man that some killer intent it around a level 75 but my gut's killing intent is way stronger right gut" Naruto said snapping Sasuke out of his suicidal state.

"**Don't refer me to that, baka kit but yeah my is way more intense though I find insulting that he claim himself to be demon with that level of killing intent I mean even the weakest demon can put out a greater killing intent than that"** Kurama said.

"And umm don't worry I'll protect you guys even if it kills me. I don't let my comrades die" Kakashi said turning to them given his eye smile.

"Umm that great and all but Ero-Kakashi-sensei you should keep your eyes on the enemy" Naruto said.

'Damn it Naruto you stole my thunder' Kakashi thought.

"We'll see about that" Zabuza said appearing inside their formation to attack. Then Naruto push Tazuna and his teammate out of the way while Kakashi charge in to help. No one was dealt a deathly blow and Kakashi manage a lethal blow to Zabuza however Zabuza was able to cut off Naruto's right hand before Kakashi was able to stop him.

"Naruto!" Kakashi said seeing his student lose his hand and was bleeding from it.

"It aright Tree can stop the bleeding, also I still have my left hand and am ambidexterity so I still have one good hand on me no pun intended" Naruto said while Tree cause some kind of plant to grow and warp around Naruto's bleed stump in order to treat his wound.

"But Ero-Kakashi-sensei you should know that…" Naruto began but Zabuza appear behind Kakashi and slice him in half.

"…that Zabuza is a water clone" Naruto finish saying as the Kakashi that was slice turn to water as another appear behind Zabuza with a kunai to his neck.

"Impressive you copy my Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu (Water Clone Technique) and used it to attract my attention while the real you hid in the mist, nice plan but you have to try hard than that to beat me" Zabuza said as he appear behind Kakashi again while the one Kakashi had at kunai point turn to water. Zabuza tried to slice Kakashi again but he dodges only to get kick to the river.

"Suiro no Jutsu (Water Prison Technique)" Zabuza said trapping Kakashi in a sphere of water.

"Now I got you trap here I will deal with the brat Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu (Water Clone Technique)" Zabuza said make a water clone.

"Hehe, foolish brats do you believe that wearing forehead protectors make you a real ninjas. But you know what when you've hovered between life and death so many times that it doesn't faze you, you may be called a ninja. When you've become so deadly that your profile has been entered into my bingo book, then you may have earned the title ninja" Zabuza said.

"Bingo book which edition do you have?" Naruto asked.

"Last year Kirigakure edition what is it to you?" Zabuza asked.

"Check for the name Uzumaki Naruto" Naruto said.

"Hmm let see Uzumaki Naruto ah here is it: Rank: civilian. Moniker: Konoha Orange Little Devil, Demon Chibi, Naruto of the Kawaii Eye, Nose-bleeder, Drunken Casanova. Bounty: 500000 ryo. Note: don't bet on site and sugar intake level is 200 gram. What the hell is this?" Zabuza asked.

"That my bingo entry well last year since my sugar intake level is 10 gram higher than before and I am a genin now but I have no idea where the Drunken Casanova came from" Naruto said.

"**Remember that one time you overheard someone saying something about how fun it is getting hammer and you want to see if it was true. After that you went and drink ten bottle of sake then woke up the next morning in a jail cell and didn't remember what you did last night. Well you got that name during that incident"** Kurama said.

"Oh" Naruto replied.

"How the hell did you get your name in the bingo before you became a ninja?" Zabuza asked.

"It happen during one of the most crazy day that I ever have which involved a long story that I don't have time to tell you right now, but the point is since I'm in you bingo book means I am a ninja in your eyes" Naruto said.

"Wait Nose-bleeder you the kid that took down the Mizukage Yagura with that one move" Zabuza said.

"Yeah I remember that, it was during my time when I was travel with the circus I took him down along with entire member the Seven Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist even the female. Also there was someone there that looks a lot like you only cooler" Naruto said.

"Brat again that was me because I was there, wait there was female in the group" Zabuza said.

"Yeah the girly looking one, you probably didn't notice because you know you play for the other team, not that I or anyone is judging" Naruto

"Brat you are so dead, do you think someone as foolish as you who joke and play around think they earn the right to be a ninja. A ninja faces death since the day they walk that path which a baka like you will never understand because I'm going to kill you slowly and painfully so hopeful you understand the lesson in your next life" Zabuza's water clone said as kick Naruto with enough force that his forehead protectors fall off.

"Guys take Tazuna and run away, you have no chance of beating him as long as he's keeping me trapped inside this prison he can't move. The water clone can't go very far from his real body just run away now" Kakashi said.

"No I won't let the very few people that give a damn about me die without a fight nor will I let this teme get away with insulting me or the people that believe in me" Naruto said as he got up, pick up his scythe and remove his sever hand than drew some seal on it.

"No don't Naruto you already lost one of your hand meanings you can no longer do hand seal, you only chance is to run away" Kakashi said.

"I don't need to do hand seal to perform ninjutsu and genjutsu nor do I need both of my hand to fight him because day I was born I was curse to be a weapon so I have everything I need to fight him. As for the hand he cut off I think it time for him to talk to it" he said as he threw his severed hand at Zabuza's water clone which smacked him in the face.

"Insolent brat you can still laugh and joke around well you won't be doing it for long" The water clone said pull Naruto's severed hand off his face.

"Hehe the only reason that I laughs and jokes around is because it a habit I developed from having so many people trying to kill me most of my life. I been at death so much that we become good friend and he like it when I deliver people to him so let go meet death Mummy-face" Naruto said with an devilish grin as the corporeal of the Grim Reaper to appear behind him.

'What the hell kind of genjutsu is this it feel like death descended around here and my soul is being pull by that thing. Why the hell does it feel like I looking at nothingness or the void when I stare into that hooded face' Zabuza thought with fear.

"Also you should be careful of what people 'hand' you" Naruto said as his severed hand began to glow causing Zabuza's clone to throw as it explode in a bright flash.

"NAA-A-RUTO UZZ-ZUM-MAKI!" he yelled as he charge at the Zabuza's clone

"Futon: Kaze-ju no Ikari (Wind Style: Rage of the Wind Beast)" he said continuing to charging at the water clone while claw like scratch of wind dance around Naruto. The water clone dodge at the last second as claw like mark cuts the ground behind him.

"Futon: Kaze-ju Toboe (Wind Style: Wind Beast Howl)" Naruto said as he blast the water clone with a deafening wind attack destroying it.

"Now that I got my hitai-ate back we can work on freeing Ero-Kakashi-sensei and then go back to kicking Mummy-face ass, now let's get wild. Okay the last part was kind of lame note to self, work on my banter" he said as he using his mouth and one good hand to tie the hitai-ate on his right shoulder.

"Damn punks I make sure you go down for good, Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu (Water Clone Technique)" Zabuza said as a dozen water clone appear.

"What are you doing run away! Our duty is to protect Tazuna, did you forget that?" Kakashi said.

"Well the best way to protect Tazuna is to free you don't you agree old man?" Naruto asked.

"I the one who cause this and I have no right to say what you can or can't do so all I can do in the end is trust you guys to do whatever you can" Tazuna said.

"Right, so dobe do you have a plan?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes, do you remember that attack we make to take on multiply enemy well I think it time to test it, then from there we improvised" Naruto said.

"You guys are nothing but a bunch of kid still going around "playing" ninja. When I was your age, my hand were already soaked in blood, after all the blond baka told you about my graduation exam were I killed one hundred of my classmates" Zabuza said terrifying all of them but Naruto.

"Well when I was six I devoured countless peeps, those poor little sugary marshmallow they were so young and tasty especially Peep Pep you were my friend" Naruto said crying fake anime tears.

"Blond…Baka…Brat…Must…Kill…Will…Die" Zabuza said through clench teeth, eye twitching wildly and tick mark so big it look like it was about to burst while everyone look at Naruto with sweat-drop.

"**There nothing you can do to make him fear you after all this baka was able to weaponize cuteness and drive cold-blooded killer ninja tears at the sight of orange" **Kurama sighed.

"Yeah good times, good time" Naruto said.

"I promise he will die" Zabuza growled.

"**They all said that but it never ever happen"** Kurama sighing again.

"Do it teme let get rid of the water clones" Naruto said.

"Katon: Hosenka no Jutsu (Fire Style: Phoenix Sage Fire Technique)" Sasuke said creating a volley of small fireballs.

"Futon: Sora no Tori no Mure (Wind Style: Flock of Sky Birds)" Naruto said creating a flock of birds made of wind.

"Ka-futon: Fenikkusu wa Kaenbin o Mure (Fire-Wind Style: Phoenix Flock Firebomb)" Naruto and Sasuke said together as the wind birds hit the small fireball and they igniting to become fire-birds that dive-bomb at the water clone. Once they hit them the clones were destroy and burst into a wall of steam.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique), Futon: Kaze-ju no Ikari (Wind Style: Rage of the Wind Beast)" Naruto said as his clones jump out of the wall of steam each attacking the remaining water clone with the destructive wind move.

"Kage Shuriken no Jutsu" Sasuke said jumping into the air to throw his shuriken.

The shuriken pass the fighting clones and headed toward the real Zabuza. "So you're aiming it at the real me huh" Zabuza said.

"That won't work" he said as he grabbed the shuriken.

Another shuriken appear out of the shadow of the first one. "Another one in the shadow of the shuriken" he said

"Still not good enough" he said jump to dodge it.

"How about this Kunai Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Kunai Shadow Clone Technique)" Naruto said changing back from being shuriken and landed on the water surface while throwing a kunai at Zabuza which multiply to a thousand causing him to move his hand out of the water prison freeing Kakashi.

"Damn you brat" Zabuza said as he about to attack Naruto while the free Kakashi move in to stop him.

"Maul Kurama" Naruto said as each of the kunai burst into a cloud of smoke and a chibi fox appear. The army of chibi Kurama began to claw and bite Zabuza making Kakashi rescue attempt of Naruto unnecessary.

"Great plan Naruto and nice teamwork but did you have to ruin my moment to be cool" Kakashi said.

"Ero-Kakashi-sensei your coolness was ruin when you got caught in that stupid water prison in a really dumb way" Naruto said.

"You don't have to be cruel about it" Kakashi said.

"Damn it I just got…ouch…distracted, hey don't bite there" Zabuza said as Kurama continue to maul him.

"Okay let me hand this now" Kakashi said.

"Okay but in case you are stupid enough to get trap again I have this place surrounded" Naruto said as a bunch of farm animal appear out of brushes around them.

"A bunch of farm animal what can they do?" Zabuza said.

"Not any farm animal but my exploding farm animal series" Naruto said.

"Naruto you know you have enough to level this entire place right" Kakashi said.

"Yep it to make sure he won't win" Naruto said.

"Are you ever afraid that he might take you down with the enemy?" Zabuza said.

"Well on one hand he really a big fan of explosive but on the other hand he really a big _fan_ of explosive, but let get back to our battle" Kakashi said as they and stare down each other while western gun duel song play in the background.

"Naruto is the background music necessary?" Kakashi asked.

"Sorry but watching you guys face down in a staring constant is boring and when I extreme bored to point dying from it, my Kekkei Genkai act up" Naruto said.

"Kekkei Genkai?" Zabuza asked.

"Nothing that you should worry about" Kakashi said as both of them perform a hundred hand seals with great speed.

"Suiton: Suiryudan no Jutsu (Water Style: Water Dragon Bullet Technique)" Both Kakashi and Zabuza said at the same time creating a serpent like dragon made out of water that crash into each other generating tidal waves.

"Gah!" Sasuke grunted as the tidal wave hit.

"Kyaa!" Sakura scream.

"Uwaa!" Tazane cried.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Naruto shouted stand on top of the surface of the water as the tidal wave pass.

"This is more fun than the time we were at that water park in Kirigakure" Cloud said.

"We should go back there some time soon" Tree said.

"Also their one in the city inside the subspace universe that is link to you along with other amusement park" Mokona said.

"That kid has problems" Zabuza deadpanned.

"Yeah but none of the things we done so far help so we just leave it as is it" Kakashi said as he mimic Zabuza movement.

'My movements, he's completely…" Zabuza thought.

"…reading them" Kakashi said.

'What, did he read my mind? Damn! That…' Zabuza continue to think.

"..Freaky eye is pissing me off, right?" Kakashi said.

"All you're doing is copying me" Zabuza said.

"You can't beat you teme" Zabuza and Kakashi said together.

"Damn it I will shut your mouth forever" Zabuza said as he and Kakashi began to make hand-seal again.

'What it is not possible! Is this one of his genjutsu' Zabuza thought.

"Suiton: Daibakufu no Jutsu (Water Style: Great Waterfall Technique)" Kakashi said as a great surge of water hit Zabuza dragging him to dry land as his back slam into a tree and Kakashi pin him with Kunai.

"How, can you see the future?" Zabuza asked.

"Yes and you're going to die" Kakashi said pulling another kunai out.

"Not before you do a little number for us" Naruto said as he threw a chakra knife at Zabuza making a seal appear on him.

"Seishin o Kowasu Mono: Hanmataimu (Spirit Breaker: Hammer Time)" Naruto said as "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer play in the background and Zabuza was unpin and began to dance a famous 90's dance from an alternative universe from the one that Naruto is in.

"Did you have to do that" Kakashi asked.

"Yes because humiliating the enemy before defeating them is my thing and I have an image to up hold" Naruto said.

"Brat I will…" Zabuza began to say but was cut off when two senbons pierce his neck.

"Hehe you're right. He did dead" a mist hunter ninja said as he appeared.

"He's really dead" Kakashi said as he went to check Zabuza's pulse.

"Aw why did you do that he didn't do the finisher yet" Naruto said.

"Sorry but it my job as Kirigakure's Hunter-nin to track down and kill ninja like Zabuza" the Hunter-nin said.

"Yeah that what you do if you were a Kirigakure's Hunter-nin which you are not, hmm some ryo, kunai, solider pill…" Naruto said as he rummages through Zabuza pocket.

"Naruto what are you doing and what do you mean he not Kirigakure's Hunter-nin?" Kakashi asked.

"Checking for loose change and the mask guy is not…" Naruto began but was interrupt by team ten.

"Hey Kakashi we are the backup you send for, we thought you be he from the chakra spike and from the look of thing it was some battle" Asuma said appearing with his team.

"Hmm is anyone else going to show up…seems like that everyone" Naruto said.

"We just face Zabuza missing-nin of Kirigakure who just kill by the Hunter-nin here" Kakashi said.

"He not dead, well once I cut off his head he will be and also decrease the chance of him coming back as a zombie" Naruto said as he pulling his scythe with the blade across his neck.

"Um you don't need to do that it is my job as Kirigakure's Hunter-nin" the Hunter-nin said.

"Yeah sorry you can't lie to me when I can see through your soul I know you are Mummy-face's friend anyway once I take care of him it is your turn" Naruto said as he pull his scythe up and then bring it down to decapitate Zabuza but miss when the Hunter-nin grab him and pull him always.

"So you were able to see through our trick no matter we just fall back for now but will meet again" the Hunter-nin said.

"No you don't, I won't let you" Naruto said as his entire body began to be shrouded in yellow chakra. In a blink of the eye he disappear and then appear next to the Hunter-nin as he deliver a power blow from his fist knock the Hunter-nin with Zabuza back with a lot of force.

"You're strong and fast but I don't have time to deal with this now so goodbye Makyo Hyosho (Demonic Mirroring Ice Crystals)" the Hunter-nin said as mirror appear behind him and he along with Zabuza enter the mirror. Naruto charge at the mirror hitting with such force that it shatter but it was too late as they were already gone.

"Damn it" Naruto said.

"Naruto what going on" Kakashi asked.

"Huh oh that Hunter-nin was really working with Mummy-face and I try to stop them but they got away" Naruto said.

"I can see that but what I was talking about is you and the yellow chakra" Kakashi said.

"Oh that well once I took care of my furry little problem, I was able to access his…er my special chakra. When I do I go into this mode. However this is currently one of my last resorts because I have not even come close to mastering it or been training with it. Due to that I can only do this for a few minute before the failsafe seal active and…" Naruto said before the yellow chakra dissipated and he collapsed.

"Naruto" they all said.

"**Baka, don't worry he not dead just pass out from exhaustion. Like the baka kit was saying because he haven't master it when he use my…er his special chakra he can only do it for a few minute before the failsafe seal active cutting off the special chakra. He pass out from exhaustion because when he use his special chakra his regular chakra is be drain too so the failsafe are there to keep all his chakra from being drain and him from dying. Due to fact he has not master using it the drain rate is way faster than it should be so that why the time limit is so short. Now someone carry this baka and let find a place to rest, he will wake up in about a day or so"** Kurama said.

"Um that good to know but what and who are you, cute little fox" Ino said.

"**I am not cute I am a cold-blooded killer"** Kurama said with a tick-mark.

"It umm Naruto's personal summon animal?" Kakashi said.

"You can have a personal summons?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yes anyway we should get going now so we can find a place to let Naruto rest" Kakashi said pulling down his forehead protectors to cover his Sharingan eye.

"Well we almost to my house so let take him there" Tazuna said.

"Alright let…" Kakashi began but collapse too.

"Umm guys it look like you have to carry me and Naruto there, my body won't work for a week or so due to the stress the Sharingan put on me" Kakashi said.

"Hmm I think I'm about to collapse too, look like someone else has to also carry me there" Shikamaru said.

"Oh no you don't you lazy bum" Ino scolded.

"Troublesome" Shikamaru said.

"Ino help Sasuke and Sakura guard the client until we reach his home Choji and Shikamaru carry Naruto, while I get Kakashi" Asuma sigh as they head out.

Omake:

~Academy Days Naruto 101 Ways of Getting Detention: Number 11 to 20 At That Time I Thought It Was a Good Idea ~

_Number 11 Biggest Bowl of Ramen_

"Why the hell did you fill the school poor with ramen?" Iruka asked.

"Well I was really hungry and didn't think an Ichiraku Naruto's special super-size ramen was big enough to make me full but a swimming pool size ramen might work" Naruto said.

"So you decided to fill the school pool with ramen" Iruka deadpanned.

"Yeah, I thought it was a good idea at that time" he said.

"Where the hell did you get enough ramen to fill up the pool?" Iruka asked.

"Ichiraku they help me out, now we hold the world record for the largest bowl of ramen and with that done I will now dig in" he said.

"Naruto you have detention for this" Iruka said.

"Worth it" he said as he finish eating all of the noodles and drink all of the broth.

"Did you just finish eating all of that under a minute?" Iruka asked.

"Yes and since I recorded that I also have the world record for eating the most ramen in the shortest amount of time" he said.

"Your stomach is not human when it comes to ramen even the Akimichi Clan can't do what you just did" Iruka deadpanned.

"So true oh hey Iruka I was wondering why does a ninja academy have a school swimming pool anyway?" he asked.

"For the elective course in water polo" Iruka said.

"We have elective courses?" he asked.

"Yes but for some reason no one ever taken them" Iruka said.

"I don't remember you saying anything about them" he said.

"Hmm now that I think about we might have forget to tell all of you about it" Iruka said.

"That maybe way no one took them" he said.

"Maybe" Iruka said.

_Number 12 Torture and Interrogation Secreat Weapon_

"The horror! The horror!" A prisoner said rocking back and front.

"Naruto detention for a month" Iruka said.

"Aw but he was an enemy prisoner" Naruto said.

"Keep that monster away from me" the prisoner said as he was drag away by the TI force.

"You not getting detention for what you did to the prisoner you getting detention for being at the TI headquarter. What the hell possess you to come here?" Iruka asked.

"Well after my sugar high incident, some of TI people thought I would fit in with the TI force so at that time I thought it would be a good idea to intern for them" he said.

"Breaking into TI headquarters and torturing a prison does not count as interning for the TI force" Iruka said.

"It doesn't?" he asked.

"No it doesn't" Iruka replied.

"But it doesn't mean you can't come here and help us out. Because you are not part of the TI force you get to do all the work without us needing to deal with the paperwork" Ibiki said.

"Please don't encourage him, he cause enough chaos and mayhem on his own that I don't need someone like you to encourage him to keep at it" Iruka said.

"I visit when I can" Naruto whisper to Ibiki.

"Good and we won't let anyone know you here so you won't get into any trouble" Ibiki said.

"I can hear you guys" Iruka said.

"We're only joking right" Naruto said crossing his finger.

"Right" Ibiki said doing the same.

"Well I visit sometime next week" Naruto said as he left.

"NARUTO!" Iruka yelled.

_Number 13 Naruto's Theme Song _

Naruto was walking into class while an upbeat and pleasant music played in the background. Iruka was looking around for the source of the music and found it coming from Naruto.

"How come I'm hearing music coming from you, Naruto?" Iruka asked.

"Oh I place some complex seal on my cloth that plays background music based on what I am currently doing. I use the audio and visual room to make the sound and music once you told me about the elective classes that are offer along with rooms for them. Right now you are hearing my walking, traveling and good day music but it nothing compared to my theme song" Naruto said.

"Theme song?" Iruka asked.

"Yeah it awesome and really kickass" he said.

"What were you thinking?" Iruka asked.

"Well it was something I came up during one boring day in class. At that time I thought it was a good idea to do it to gain some variety in my life" he said.

"Naruto…" Iruka said staring at Naruto as intense fighting music began to play in the background.

"Iruka…" Naruto said as the music continue to play.

"Detention" Iruka said as victory music play for him.

"What why?" Naruto asked as defeated music play for him.

"Because you didn't make a theme song for me" Iruka said as he heard laughter in the background and raised an eyebrow at Naruto.

"I also make some background studio audience sound too" Naruto said. 

"Just take a seat and you will server your detention after class" Iruka said.

"Okay" he said walking to his desk while a sad song was playing.

_Number 14 Fun with Super Glue _

"Naruto, do you every think before you do anything at all?" Iruka sighed.

"Yes and when I did this I thought it was a good idea" Naruto said.

"How was this in any way a good idea?" Iruka asked.

"Well I thought that if I created a good enough work of art that it would be enough to save the art program because ninja need more than the killing art in their life" Naruto said.

"How in the hell is super gluing everything and everyone including yourself in a strange arrangement considered a work of art" Iruka said.

"Hmm well this piece is lifelike and kind of abstract" Naruto said.

"Naruto once we are free you have detention" Iruka said.

"Okay we're here to free you" an ABNU coming inside the classroom said.

"Though it is a shame to take down a great work of art such as this" his partner said.

"I know it is so abstract and the most lifelike piece I ever saw" the first ANBU.

"Yeah and a bit post-modern too" the second ANBU said.

"Can you be critic after you free us" Iruka deadpanned.

"Fine" both ANBU said.

_Number 15 Breaking into ANBU HQ_

"Explain" Iruka said.

"Well after today lecture about how ninjas needed to be stealthy I thought it was a good idea to test my skill at stealth by breaking into the most secure place in Konoha" Naruto said.

"So to do this you try to break into the ANBU headquarter" Iruka said.

"Yep" he replied.

"As a pizza delivery boy" Iruka said rising an eyebrow at his student.

"Yes, who would suspect a pizza delivery boy" he answered.

"Oh I don't know maybe a village where there no pizza chains within a mile of it" Iruka said.

"Now that I think about we really should have in the village" he said.

"Yeah" the ANBUs all said while eating a slice of pizza.

"Don't change the subject Naruto and since you broke into the ANBU headquarter you have detention" Iruka said.

"Yeah that should show him for not having any Hawaiian style topping" one of ANBU said.

"That because I couldn't find any pineapple around here" Naruto said.

"Hmm maybe I can find some on my next mission" he said.

"They care more about pizza topping than the fact that an academy student was able to break into their own headquarter, how the hell is this village still standing is a mystery to me" Iruka sighed.

"Hey save some pepperoni for me" he said.

_Number 16 Breaking into ANBU HQ Halloween Edition_

"The ANBU headquarter again" Iruka sighed.

"I thought it was a good idea to have a Halloween party at the ANBU headquarters since everyone is already wearing their costume" Naruto said dress in a black hooded robe, holding his scythe and wearing a skull masked askew on his head.

"They are not wearing costume they are wearing their standard ANBU uniform that all of them are required to wear" Iruka said.

"Actually this is a costume, my regular mask is bear now I am wearing a bird mask" the ANBU with the bird masked said.

"And my regular mask is cat" the bear masked ANBU added.

"We all wearing a different mask than what we regular wear" the dog masked ANBU said.

"You all think that wearing a different mask than what your regular mask count as wearing a costume?" Iruka asked.

"Yes" they all said.

"Well if you can't beat them join them and Naruto you have detention again" Iruka said.

_Number 17 Breaking into ANBU HQ Log-mas (Christmas) Edition_

"So you broke into the ANBU headquarter again just to put up Christmas decoration because you thought it was a good idea at that time?" Iruka asked.

"Of course not" Naruto said.

"You didn't put up these decorations?" Iruka asked with an eyebrow raise.

"I did" he said.

"Then why did you say you didn't" Iruka said.

"I said I didn't put up Christmas decoration because they are not Christmas decoration, because I nor anyone here is Christian. What I put up is Log-mas decoration because we are ninja and ninja celebrate Log-mas also it was a good idea at that time" he said.

"Well I am happy that you are getting into the Log-mas spirit but you will have detention for breakings into the ANBU headquarter again after the holidays" Iruka said.

"Thank and merry Log-mas Iruka-sensei" Naruto said.

"Merry Log-mas too" Iruka said.

_Number 18 Breaking into ANBU HQ Valentine Edition _

"I don't want to ask but I have to so why are you wearing that outfit Naruto oh and why did you break into the ANBU headquarter again for the hundred time?" Iruka asked his student who was wearing a diaper and fake wing while carrying a bag of letter and bow and arrows.

"Well at that time I thought it was a good idea to make some extra money" Naruto said.

"Explain please" Iruka said.

"Because it is Valentine day some guy thought it was romantic to have cupid to send a love letter to his girlfriend written by him but the girlfriend is a ANBU agent so in order for that to happen he have to pay someone who was willing to dress up like this and be able to enter the headquarter. In the end I fit the job description however once I did it the girlfriend went on and on about how romantic his boyfriend for doing it. Long story short I end up having to deliver a lot of love letter all over the place include the ANBU headquarter" Naruto said.

"Wow must been a hard day for you" Iruka said.

"It was" Naruto said.

"And it will get harder because you have detention for breaking into the ANBU headquarter" Iruka said.

"Man I don't get a break must learn about this union thing" Naruto said.

_Number 19 Breaking into ANBU HQ Easter Edition_

"Naruto, I thought you weren't Christian so why are you dress up as the Easter bunny and breaking into the ANBU headquarter to give out chocolate eggs?" Iruka asked.

"At that time I thought it was a good idea and it was because now I all cute and fluffy" Naruto said causing Iruka to sweat-drop.

"As for being here I have nowhere else better to be so I can here, as for the chocolate eggs I have a bunch of them for reason I do not know so don't ask and decided to give them out. So I guessing I have detention for this" he said.

"Yes, detention" Iruka replied.

_Number 20 What the Hell Were You Thinking_

"WHAT. THE. HELL. WERE. YOU. THINKING." Iruka yelled.

"I thought it was a good idea at that time" Naruto replied.

"How is covering everyone's body in class with peanut butter and unleashes a bunch of wild Kung Fu squirrel at them in anyway a good idea?" Iruka said as dodge a kick from one of the squirrel.

"Well now that I think about it doesn't really seem like a good idea" Naruto said.

"You have to figure out that now, detention Naruto and pray that you will learn not to do things like this but something tell me you won't" Iruka said.

"Yeah I most likely won't" Naruto said.

A/N: Nissan, Mitsubishi, Honda, Sayonara no Jutsu


	10. Chapter 10 Learning Things Other Than Ni

Land of Wave and Zubuza's Sword that Can't Cut through Reinforce Rice Paper Arc:

Chapter 10~Learning Things Other Than Ninja Politic~

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me or other random reference

A/N: Up to chapter 4 been beta by my beta.

"normal Speech"

'thoughts'

**Demon and other uber being**

Different language 

_Dream World_

"Alright son today is your first day attending the ninja academy. You are on your way to being a cool and kickass ninja like me" Minato said to his son.

"I won't be a cool and kickass ninja like you, no I will be a cooler and more kickass ninja than you than I will kick your butt so that I can take that hat from you and become the Hokage" Naruto said to his father.

"Really now" his father said.

"Yeah" he said pumping his fist up into the air.

"Well I hope you make some friends and find a girl to be your special someone" Kushina said winking at his son.

"Eww mom girls have cootie" he said to his mother.

"You didn't said that about a certain blue hair brunet with lavender pearls eyes that you like to make blush in many different ways" his mother said.

"Well she different" he said while blushing.

"Well I hope you figure out what make her so different soon because I don't want to wait forever to be a grandmother" she said.

"MOM!" he yelled.

"Don't worry son your mom is just being a mother, you know that we love you" Minato said.

"Yeah we really love our Naru-chan" Kushina said hugging his son.

"I love you guys too but that doesn't mean that you can embarrass me in front of others" Naruto pouted as his parent laughed.

"Naruto" Minato said.

"Naruto" Kushina said.

"Naruto…"

"Naruto" Kakashi whispered as Naruto's eye open, staring up at the ceiling as tears ran down his face.

"Naruto are you alright? Did you have a nightmare?" Kakashi asked with concern in his voices.

"No it wasn't a nightmare it was one of the most happiest dreams that I can ever have but it was also an impossible dream that why I was sad, I dream a dream that can never happen" Naruto said as he wipe the tears from his face.

"So where are we?" he asked looking around.

"After you pass out and I collapse from exhaustion everyone took us to Tazuna's house and that where we are at right now" Kakashi said.

"Oh. Umm hey this may sound strange but for some strange reason everything seem to be bigger than before?" Naruto asked.

"Well it might have something to do with the fact that you got smaller" Kakashi said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I could tell you or you could go to that mirror over there and see for yourself" Kakashi said as Naruto went to the mirror to inspected himself. What he saw was that he has a bushy fox's tail, little fox's feet and fox's ears. Also he was a chibi in size and looks.

"SWEET HOLY LOG, I'M A KAMI FORSAKEN CHIBI HANYOU!" Naruto yelled.

"I guess the dobe is up and saw what happen to him" Sasuke smirked while coming into the room.

"How…how the hell did this happen? Shinigami come down here and tell me what the hell is going on" Naruto said.

"**Ah so you finally saw the aftereffect of over using Kurama's chakra"** the Shinigami said.

"Explain this now" Naruto growled.

"**Well…Every time you over use Kurama's chakra to the point where you active the failsafe, this side effect will occur. You will turn into this form for a certain period, about three to four days depend on how exhausted you are then you will turn back to your original form. In this form everything will be pretty much the same and you still have the same power as your original form except you are smaller and can't use the henge to transform to your original form"** the Shinigami said.

"Couldn't you do something about this?" Naruto asked.

"**Well I could"** he said not looking at him.

"You didn't add this effect to the new seal on purpose did you?" Naruto asked.

"**No, no I didn't add this effect to the seal to get a date with a hot goddess who like cute chibi human/animal hybrid and wants to see you in this form"** he said.

"You curse this form on me for a DATE!" Naruto growled.

"**Oh look at the time I have to go, see you later"** he said as he vanishes.

"Come back here and fix this" Naruto yelled at him.

"**Now you know how I feel when you summon me as a chibi"** Kurama said.

"No, how can I, when you are a chibi fox and I'm a chibi hanyou, there a different here" Naruto stated.

"**You are the king of baka"** Kurama deadpanned.

"I guess it suck to be you, dobe" Sasuke smirked.

"No actually it suck to be you, now did you forget that your two biggest fan-girls are sleeping under the same roof as you. You have to sleep with one eye open or else you will be rape by them, good luck with that" Naruto said as Sasuke paled.

"Naruto stop scaring Sasuke and Sasuke panic about your innocent later, I need you to gather everyone here so we can plan on what to do next" Kakashi said.

_Somewhere in Wave_

"So you've come back to life already" the Hunter-nin known as Haku said.

"Damn not only did I get beaten up by Kakashi but also maul by a chibi fox, insulted and force to do a strange dance by some genin brat" Zabuza said.

"He was able to discover that I was working with you. Also when he was cloak in that strange chakra it seems that his strength and speed increase greatly" Haku said.

"Strange chakra huh, the brat is stronger than he seems and it seems that he process Kekkei Genkai too. I wonder what it is, we have to be careful of him" Zabuza said.

"I will but next will you be alright?" Haku asked.

"Next time I will defeat all of them" Zabuza said.

_Back at Tazuna's House _

"Protect me meat shield" Sasuke said holding Naruto in front of his top two fan-girls.

"Sasuke with a cute accessory oh my Kami" Ino squealed with hearts in her eyes.

"Sasuke is so hot" Sakura said falling into fan-girl mode and have hearts in her eyes too.

"You have to use me as a human shield now there will be yoai doushinji of you with me as a hanyou and it entirely your fault. Also I am a living breathing human being not an item and no going fan-girl" Naruto pouted as he smacked Ino and Sakura with a wooded stick.

"Kawaii aren't the most adorable thing ever, trying to act tough and all" Ino said as he smothered Naruto with a hug.

"Unhand me girl" Naruto said with his eye twitching.

"Okay stop harassing Naruto and let get this meeting started" Kakashi said.

"Before that the Hokage wanted me to asked Naruto the standard fallout question. So Naruto have conquered any sovereign lands?" Asuma said.

"No" he answered.

"Did you destroy any sovereign land?"

"No"

"Did you test any of your custom explosive tags with a hundred kilometer of Konoha?"

"No"

"Did you killed, attack or prank any political leader or politically important people?"

"No"

"Did you do anything that will make the Hokage have to deal with additional paperwork?"

"I don't think so"

"Okay Kakashi we can get back to the meeting" Asuma said.

"What the hell was that about?" Sasuke asked.

"The Hokage want to be forewarn about any additional paperwork that Naruto might cause" Asuma said.

"He not worries about the action that causes the paperwork?" Sakura asked.

"No because we can't stop Naruto from doing it even if we wanted to" Asuma said.

"Anyways our mission now is for both team seven and ten to protect Tazuna and his family from Gatou. As you saw Zabuza was defeated as team ten just arrive to back us up, however he is still alive" Kakashi said.

"WHAT!" Team ten, Sakura and Sasuke yelled.

"It's true, you can tell by how his soul still hasn't departed from his body" Naruto said.

"Or you can tell by how the Hunter-nin use senbon, which have a low killing probability but useful in putting someone in a momentary death state, on Zabuza or the fact he that he didn't deposed of the body on sight" Kakashi said.

"You can rely on your science and logic but I think I will stick with my mystical power" Naruto said which earn him a smack on the back of his head from Kakashi.

"Force Naruto and oh this is for stealing my thunder during the battle" Kakashi said as he smack him again.

"Anyway with the chance of facing Zabuza or a new stronger hired shinobi, you guys will receive training to prepare for what to come" Kakashi said.

"So you going to teach us how to blackmail the majority councils and the remaining two unholy miserable old people known as Homura and Koharu to buy us cool kickass ninja gear" Naruto said.

"Naruto you know I teach you guys more than ninja politics" Kakashi said.

"True other than ninja politic, teamwork, basic ninja workout, skill and strategy, you also taught us how to read and walk at the same time" Naruto smirked.

"Also you taught us how to giggle like a pervert" Sasuke added.

"And how to make excuses for being late" Sakura join in.

"How to avoid being arrested for exposing minor to smut" Sasuke continue.

"Avoid an anger mob from beating you to death for exposing minor to smut" Sakura said.

"And how to scare minor with smut" Naruto finish off.

"Okay I get it I could have try harder in your training but did you all have to gang up on me, I bet no other jonin-sensei have to deal with this" Kakashi pouted.

"Nope only you Ero-Kakashi-sensei are special enough get to be the jonin sensei of homicidal emo with an unhealthy relationship with his brother, a fan-girl with some serious need of anger management, and a hyperactive borderline insane or sane, depend on how you look at it, brat who share a special bond with an incarnation of a natural disaster" Naruto said.

"Of all the students I could of have gotten, I ended up with you three" Kakashi said while crying anime tears.

"Well look on the bright side" Naruto said.

"What the bright side?" Kakashi deadpanned.

"You only have to be our sensei until we become chunin or until you die" Naruto said.

"So my choices are death or training you guys to be the elite, hmm I kind of like living right now so I guess I have to help all of you to become chunin as fast as I can. Since you know how to do the basic chakra exercise I will teach you some useful jutsu I know" Kakashi said.

"My former sensei already taught me the Peek at the Bathhouse jutsu already, a jutsu I won't ever use" Naruto said.

"I not going to teach you that, nor do I know that jutsu" Kakashi denied.

"You know that I know that you do know that jutsu" Naruto said.

"You know that I can make you wait a long time before teaching you anything" Kakashi said.

"And you know that I can blackmail you if you do that" Naruto said.

"Damn you right. Anyways I'm going to teach you all jutsus that are based on your elemental affinity" Kakashi said.

"Element affinity that pretty advance stuff, I thought that you would teach them something along the line of chakra control like water walking exercise" Asuma said.

"I would of if they didn't already know it" Kakashi said.

"I thought they said you hardly taught them anything?" Asuma asked.

"Well…" Kakashi said.

"Naruto taught us it" Sakura said.

"Ah that seem most likely, well I guess I will teach my team the water walking exercise once they finish the tree climbing one first. It been weeks and they still haven't gotten it down" Asuma said.

"You really got that exercise down already?" Ino asked Sakura.

"Yeah and the water walking exercise too, with how hard Naruto is making us train we could do those thing in our sleep" Sakura said.

'Damn it I can't believe Forehead is surpassing me, I have worked harder or I will lose to her and Sasuke-kun won't notice me' Ino thought.

'It looks like Ino is more motived due to the rivalry between her and Sakura, now only if I can a way to motive the other two' Asuma thought.

"So now that we know the plan any question?" Kakashi asked.

"I have one, where did you get that beanie Forehead?" Ino asked.

"From Naruto, why do you ask?" Sakura stated.

"Why because that beanie is an exclusive Storm's Eye beanie from their Winter Flower line. With three beautiful five petals Sakura designs on it along with environment blending seal you look good wearing it anywhere and temperature control seals keep you cool while looking cool. There are only twenty of them in the world and I can't believe I see one first hand" Ino said.

"Oh my kami I can't believe I miss the logo, I thought it was a cheap knock off" Sakura said looking at the symbol of the Uzumaki spiral with a blue slit eye at the center.

"And Sasuke-kun is wear a rare stylist Storm's Eye goggle from their Blazing Summer line. It has multi-vision function, made with near indestructible glass and metal, with cool blue flame running on the edge of the frame and band. There are only ten of those goggle in the world" Ino said.

"The flames make you look like you are going fast" Naruto said.

"Okay what is this Storm's Eye and why are the two of you making a big deal about this?" Kakashi asked.

"Storm's Eye does not only created the best ninja's clothes and gears but also the most fashionable. You can find something to make you a deathly killer with a killer look. All the ninjas shop from them and if you are wearing their top line you become the envy of ninja world. So now tell me how on earth team seven is able to get their hand on some of Storm's Eye exclusive line products" Ino demanded.

"That is a good question and now that I think about it Naruto, your entire outfit is complete set from the Fallen Autumn line. There only five of that set in the world how are you able to get them, let alone afford it?" Sakura asked.

"Because I am the owner and created of Storm's Eye industry. I also design many of the exclusive top items" Naruto said with a calm tone while emitting a tranquil aura and sipping on some green tea.

"WHAT!" Sakura and Ino yelled.

"Like said I own Storm's Eye industry along with Happy Wacky Snack, Nintech Electronic and Home Appliance, Toy-world and some hot spring, hotel and restaurant chain in Konoha and varies location in the Element Country" Naruto said while everyone but Tree, Cloud, Mokona, Obito, Shikamaru and Choji stare at him.

"He joking right" Ino asked.

"Nope, me and Choji own a share in each of the company that Naruto own" Shikamaru said.

"When did you get into business, Naruto?" Kakashi asked.

"Well I wasn't able to buy any toy, treat, or anything fun when I was younger because the majority of the store in Konoha refuses to sell them to me so I use that money to invest in some small project that grew into successful businesses" Naruto sadly at the memory of his childhood.

"Forget about those idiots Naruto because of their stupidity not only did you become more successful than them but also contribute to a quarter of the income for Konoha. Right now you have Konoha eating out of your hand" Choji said patting Naruto on the back.

"Thank Choji and you right. Now if the council ever wanted to threaten me, I can pull this on them and it will be a big surprise since hardly anyone but my closes friend and those I consider family know about this" Naruto said.

"I can't believe that you are a successful businessman, dobe" Sasuke deadpanned.

"So I guess you don't want to know how I became your brother long distance best friend or how he became Captain Pocky the mascot of Happy Wacky Snack" Naruto said.

"I don't know what is worst, me taking this long to figure out how much of a weakness pocky is to my brother or him being called Captain Pocky" Sasuke said while his eye is twitching.

"I kind of interested in how you became friend with an S-rank missing ninja and ended up making him the mascot of your snacking industry" Kakashi said.

"Well I remember it like it was yesterday when I was young and without a care in the world…" Naruto started.

_Flashback no Jutsu_

"Here are the reports for the annual revenue for Happy Wacky Snack" said the sexy secretary named Miss Secretary.

"Ah thank you Miss Secretary" Naruto said at his desk in his big comfortably CEO chair.

_Flashback Break no Jutsu_

"Wait you have a have a sexy secretary named Miss Secretary?" Kakashi asked.

"Well it not her real name it is just what she wants to be call" Naruto said.

"And you have her wear that tight fitting suit?" Kakashi asked again.

"No it what she want to wear and there really no dress code for my company yet" Naruto said.

"How come I don't have a sexy secretary who wear tight fitting suit" Kakashi said while crying anime tears.

"Because you are not billionaire and owner of Multinational Corporation" Naruto deadpanned.

"No fair I want a sexy secretary who wear tight fitting suit to take advantage of" Kakashi said.

"I don't take advantage of any of my employer, as for Miss Secretary I hired her because she was the most qualify applicant, by work for me she was able to pay for her college tuition through the grant I offer and now she managing the Land of Bean Jam branch of Happy Wacky Snack. Now if you are done asking me question let me get back to my story" Naruto said.

_Back to Flashback no Jutsu_

"From the look of things it has been good year, but we still need to find someone to be our Pocky sampler" Naruto said.

"Didn't you mention that someone in ANBU was Pocky fanatic?" Miss Secretary asked.

"Oh yeah Uchiha Itachi but he is missing ninja now however I think I can get his mailing address. I will work on that while you gather some info on our evil world domination snack food competitor that we need to save the world from" Naruto said.

"Yes sir" Miss Secretary said.

_Hokage Tower _

"Hey Ojiisan can you give me the mailing address of one missing ninja name Uchiha Itachi, I need to send a letter to ask him to be a Pocky sampler for my company" Naruto said coming in the room.

"Sure Naruto, also can you send some report I have for him and instruction to continue to spy on Akatsuki for us, I would do it myself but am really swamp with paperwork right now" the Hokage said forcing on his paperwork while ignoring every else around him. The ANBU guard there sweat-drop at how easy Naruto got the Hokage to give up such info and decide to never mention the incident.

"Thank Jiji I hope he accept if not at least he get to try a sample of our Pocky" Naruto said.

_A Week Later_

"Hey Ojiisan he accept, now not only does Happy Wacky Snack have an official Pocky sampler but Itachi also said he will be my long distance best friend for giving him such a wonderful offer" Naruto said barging in.

"That nice Naruto I am happy for you, now if only I can get this dreaded paperwork done with so I go get some ramen with you then today would be a great day for the both of us" the Hokage said too force on his paperwork to notice what Naruto said.

"Yes that would be really great but I know that we all have our obligation to fulfill. Anyway I hope that our company will be really successful with our newest addition" Naruto said while the ANBU guards once again decide to ignore the situation and agree to not only invest in Naruto's snack company but buy snack from them because if he lucky enough to get this far he lucky enough to succeed in it.

_Another Week Later_

"Hey Jiji ever since Itachi became Captain Pocky and we release Captain Pocky's collection card with a package of our products, Happy Wacky Snack is now the leader in the world snacking industry. Plus we also defeated the evil Bittersweet Corporation however the evil Rotten Teeth Inc. has raised to power but we will defeat them like Bittersweet. Anyway I have to go back and plan an attack against them now" Naruto said as he left.

"Okay…wait Itachi, evil Bittersweet Corporation, Captain Pocky? On second thought it probably better if I don't get involved. Now paperwork you will die" the Hokage said getting back to work while the ANBU guard were happy snacking on Happy Wacky Snack product over the succeed of their business investment and not caring about the war between the good and evil of the snack food industry.

_End Flashback no Jutsu_

"And that how I got a missing ninja to become my official Pocky sampler and long distance best friend" Naruto said finishing up his story.

"It was that easy to find out where he was" Sasuke said eye twitching more wildly than before.

"What about him becoming your snack food company mascot, you mention it but didn't explain it in an in-depth detail" Kakashi said.

"Well about that, it all started with…" Naruto started.

_Flashback no Jutsu_

"You won't get away with this Mr. Bittersweet" Naruto said hanging upside down over a tank that is filled sharks that shoots laser beam.

"Ah you not in any position to make threat now are you Mr. Uzumaki" said Mr. Bittersweet a bald evil looking hook handed man with a monocle.

"Really now well I think…" Naruto began but was interrupted by a ringing sound.

"Sorry but I have to get this" he said freeing one of his arm in order to answers his communication devices.

"Oh come on you have to do this now I was having my evil villain moment" Mr. Bittersweet said.

"Well unlike you I am a man of many talents and I have better things to do with my time than hang out with someone who doesn't have a life" Naruto said.

"I so do have a life" Mr. Bittersweet said.

"And yet you are the one who is trying to take over the world through snack goods, now if you don't mind us adult have to do adult work. Hello, Naruto Uzumaki speaking" Naruto answering his cellphone that he got from reversed engineer one he found in C.N.S.L.T.A.U.

"Ah Naruto, is me Miss Secretary I am calling because I recently got report of bandits and cannon fodder henchmen attacking our Pocky shipment" she replied.

"Cannon fodder henchmen, Bittersweet you teme" Naruto said.

"Ah yes I have my cannon fodder henchmen and few hired bandits to sabotage your profitable popular Pocky shipment and there nothing you can do about it because you about to die Mr. Uzumaki" Mr. Bittersweet said evilly.

"You were saying" Naruto said somehow able to free himself and at the same time took out all the henchmen there and feed them to the shark that shoots laser beam.

"What? When? How did you get free?" Mr. Bittersweet asked.

"A good spy/ninja in the making/philanthropist never reveal his secrets" Naruto said.

"Well you may have freed yourself but you won't escape from…where the hell did he go?" Mr. Bittersweet wonders as he looks around to only to find a note for him that said:

_Dear Mr. Bittersweet,_

_I didn't want to stick around to hear your stupid rant so I decided to escape while you were distracted._

_Love, _

_Naruto Uzumaki _

_P.S. I going to blow this place up sky high just so you know._

"Oh bugger, curse you Uzumaki" Mr. Bittersweet said as bomb that litter the compound went off.

_Outside_

"Miss Secretary don't worry about the Pocky shipment I have the man for the job" Naruto said as he walk away slowly and epically as the compound erupted into a ball of fire.

_Akatsuki Headquarter_

"Why did Naruto send me this costume?" Itachi wonder as he open the package and letter that was send to him.

_Dear Itachi,_

_Mr. Bittersweet of the Bittersweet Corporation has been sending bandits and cannon fodder henchmen to attacking our Pocky shipment. So in order to stop them I decide to send you the best man for the job to do something about it and because you are a missing ninja I provided a disguise to keep the hunter ninja off your back._

_From you long distance best friend & Pocky provider,_

_Naruto Uzumaki_

_P.S. I also send a costume for your partner Kisame too and the key to the air-to-land-to-water ship or A.L.W. ship for short to get around._

"Those fiends they won't get away with it, I will make sure of it" Itachi said and began to put on the costume.

_At a Pocky Shipment Facility_

"Okay let blow this place up" said a cannon fodder henchman.

"Not so fast you vile fiend" Itachi said on top of the A.L.W. ship in sailboat mode dress as a pirate with a trench coat, a feather captain hat, eye patch and a cutlass pointed at cannon fodder henchmen. Next to him Kisame was dress in a shark plush costume with his head stick out of the mouth.

"Who the hell are you guys?" one of them asked.

"How the hell can that ship move on land" another asked.

"They look like the missing ninja Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshigaki but they can't be because Itachi is not a pirate and Kisame may look like a shark but doesn't wear a shark plush outfit" a henchman said with the other agreeing with him.

"I am Captain Pocky and this is my first mate Sharky. We are here in the name of Pocky to stop you fiends" Itachi now Captain Pocky said while pulling out a Pocky and eating it dramatically.

"Umm Ita…er I mean Captain Pocky why are we here helping the Kyuubi jinchuriki's company, aren't we suppose to capture him sometime soon?" Kisame now Sharky asked.

"Sharky you know that your favorite seafood flavor chip 'Seafood Paradise Chip' are made by Happy Wacky Snack which also market the best Pocky ever which are being destroy by these cannon fodder henchmen. So if this continue Happy Wacky Snack will go out of business and there will be no more Happy Wacky Snack's Pocky or Seafood Paradise Chip" Captain Pocky stated.

"Those fiends I would let that happen" Sharky said as he get into blood frenzy and began to bite and cut down the cannon fodder henchmen.

"Yeah we won't let them destroy our precious Pocky" Captain Pocky said as pirate battle music play and he swing down from the ship to cut down the cannon fodder henchmen with his cutlass.

_End Flashback no Jutsu _

"A few months later the cannon fodder henchmen problem was dealt with and afterward Captain Pocky and Sharky began to pose for our trading cards that come along with each package of the food snack product that we sell. Since the trading cards cause our snack to increase in sale, especially in the females and kids who like comic hero demography, we decide to release a new card each year for collectors" Naruto finished off.

"Those trading cards are really cool, look I have one where Captain Pocky is surfing on a sea turtle's back" Choji said.

"Captain Pocky…Sharky…Trading cards…Sea turtle" Sasuke said eyes still twitching wildly but now foaming at the mouth too.

"So you are saying that you are not only a ninja of Konoha but also philanthropist and part time spy that fight evil corporations?" Kakashi asked ignored the stated that Sasuke is in.

"Sasuke I think you should have that foaming at the mouth check out and Kakashie ask me no question and I will tell you no lie" Naruto said.

"Hmm so not only are you rich but also the owner of my favorite clothing retailer stores who can get me free sample from Storm's Eye, hey have I ever tell you how cute your whisker mark are, Naruto-kun" Ino said moving close to him.

"Hey Ino-pig don't hit on my teammate" Sakura screamed.

"Why can't I, he not taken beside I just healing his heart that you broke back when we were academy student" Ino said moving an inch close while Sakura look downcast at what she did in the past.

"I got over that a long time ago if she didn't what to be my friend back then, than that her problem but if you don't mind could you not mention it again" Naruto said.

"Wait friend? You want to be _only_ friend?" asked a confused Sakura.

"Well yes, friend. Did you think I was trying to win your heart or something?" Naruto asked.

"Yes" all the genin there said.

"Wow you guys have some strange thoughts" Naruto said.

"But you were blushing a lot and always said nice thing about me plus you added –chan at the end of my name back then" Sakura said.

"Well that because I was really nervous due to the fact that I never have a friend before through if you did spit on my offer it might have developed into a crush but now we never know. Also what wrong with attaching –chan to a girl's name I do it all the time even if they look at me strangely when I do" Naruto said.

"Hmm I could tell him but it might be more entertain to not" Kakashi mutter under his breathe.

"You don't use it for my name anymore" Sakura said quietly.

"Well you were mean to me also I thought that calling you Haruno-san was a good way to address you when you ask me to do that favor for you" Naruto said while Sakura lower her head.

"Anyways I'm not mean and I like it when you call me Ino-chan" Ino said trying to change the subject while at the same time trying to seducing Naruto.

"Umm look Ino-chan you not my type and there someone else that I am interested in" Naruto said moving away.

"I don't mind sharing" Ino said while Kakashi giggle like he reading one of his Icha Icha novel.

"Look a distraction" Naruto said pointing at some kid who enter the room while he quickly move away when everyone look away.

"Inari, come and said hello to everyone. Everyone this is my grandson Inari" Tazuna said.

"There no point they are going to die" Inari said.

"Yes all things that live will die in the end very philosophical but a strange way to start a conversation" Naruto nodded sagely while his sensei and teammate give him a look that said you one to talk.

"There's no way you can win against Gatou" Inari continue.

"Well it a good thing that we here to kill him instead of play card games with him. It the duty of hero who will become a Hokage someday like me to deal with guy like Gatou" Naruto said.

"What are you stupid or something? There's no such thing as a hero!" Inari said.

"Nope like I said I am hero who will one day become a Hokage I'm also a ninja, philanthropist and part time spy that fight evil corporations" Naruto said.

"I am going to look at the ocean from my room. If you guys don't want to die you should leave" Inari said as he when to his room.

"Sorry about that" Tazuna said.

"That poor kid he more angst than teme here" Naruto said with mock sadness.

"Dobe" Sasuke growled.

"Teme" Naruto cheered.

"So Naruto where were before we were distracted" Ino said once more inching close to him.

"You know Ino-chan you have the most striking blue eyes I ever saw" Naruto said causing Ino to blush and look down with her hand in her cheek.

"Oh Naruto-kun you kidder…huh where did he go" Ino said as Naruto unexpectedly disappeared.

"He escaped when you were looking away" Asuma said.

"Damn why didn't I think of that when she was in her bossy mode?" Shikamaru said only to be answer by a note from Naruto that stated 'because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of dealing with the lady, you on the other hand are not ninja enough to think of such thing'.

"Damn it Naruto come back here and steal this fan-girl from me" Sasuke said.

"Oh Sasuke-kun you don't have to worry about losing me I can always be yours or Naruto's mistress" Ino said now inching close to Sasuke.

"Umm I notice that your hair is very beautiful" Sasuke said causing Ino to blush and look away again.

"Oh Sasuke-kun…damn it, it happen again" Ino said as Sasuke disappear.

_Upstairs_

"Dad…" Inari said while crying.

"What hope he has, he lost it on the day that I die. I pray that you can do something about it, until then my soul can't move on from this plane of existence" Kaiza said outside Inari's room.

"I promise I will and I keep my promise so don't worry I will do everything that I can do to get back his hope even if it mean I have to beat it into him" Naruto said as he walk away from the room to only end up meeting Sasuke at the stairs.

"Dobe you got to help me I don't what to get rape in my sleep" Sasuke said with fear in his eyes.

"Calm down teme you can sleep in the tent with the rest of the guys and I can active the barrier to keep your fan-girls from taking your innocent" Naruto said.

"Can I buy one from you in case I have to go on a mission and you not there for me to use your super anti-fan-girl tent" Sasuke said.

"Yes you can buy one from me and it not a super anti-fan-girl tent it a standard mobile home tent set that have built in barrier seal along with other feature" Naruto said.

"Well I don't care what it called as long as it keeps them away" Sasuke said.

_The Next Day _

"Where were you last night Sasuke-kun I didn't see you in your room when I went to umm check up on you" Sakura said causing a chill to run down Sasuke spine while they head out to the forest to train.

"Yeah, now that I think about it none of your guys where in your room" Ino said moving close to Naruto.

"Ino-chan please stops trying to seduce or I might have to tie you to a tree and no I am not asking if you are into bondage in a roundabout way" Naruto said releasing a little killing intent causing her to back off a bit.

"I only want some free clothes from Storm's Eye" Ino muttered.

"I can't give out free clothes for you because you will take everything on the line and I will end up bankrupt. However I can give you a lifetime discount and put you on our exclusive mailing list announce when our new products come out and deliver free ticket for our major events" Naruto said.

"Deal" Ino said as she went to cling onto Sasuke.

"Damn it would it kill you to take her away from me?" Sasuke said.

"Like I said as the village pariah I don't get fan-girls" Naruto said.

"What is he talking about doesn't he know that he have one of the biggest fan club second to Sasuke and it growing" Choji said.

"No, I once told him and he thought it was a joke" Shikamaru said.

"Anyway where were you guys" Ino said.

"We were all camp out in my tent" Naruto said.

"What? How comes?" Sakura asked.

"It has a roof window with a great view of the night sky and an entertainment system with the greatest sounding speakers" Naruto said.

"It has a mini fridge stock with near limitless foods" Choji said.

"It has the most comfortable futon that you can't help but fall asleep when you laid down on it" Shikamaru said.

"It protected me from you monsters" Sasuke said pointing at Ino and Sakura said.

"How come you did tell us about the super cool tent" Kakashi and Asuma asked.

"Because you didn't ask me" Naruto said.

"Can we join you guys?" Ino and Sakura asked.

"No, rape teme on your on time beside it not something we want to see" Naruto said.

"WE ARE NOT GOING TO RAPE HIM! We're going…hehe" Ino and Sakura said together.

"Right so Ero-Kakashi-sensei, what are going to do first?" Naruto asked.

"You three are going to take these chakra papers and channel chakra in them to see your element affinity like this" Kakashi said as the paper between his finger crinkle.

"As you can see the paper wrinkle for me so I am lightning type, now if your paper burn your affinity is fire, cut is wind, crumble earth and damp for water" he said.

"And while team seven is doing that team ten will continue on chakra exercise" Asuma said.

"All right you guys get started so we can see what nature affinity you have, and Naruto since it seems that you can do jutsu without hand seal I guess we can find a way around you being one handed" Kakashi said.

"Oh right it been about a day since I lost it, I think I should be okay now. So Tree-kun can you do the honor and remove the plant cast" Naruto said.

"Yes Naruto-sama" Tree said as the plant like cast came off of his once sever hand to reveal a new function non-sever hand.

"Ah as good as new" Naruto said as he flex his hand while everyone there gape at him.

"How we all saw it got cut off" Asuma said.

"Did you forget about my Kitsune no Iyashi (Fox Healing) and it regenerated property. Combine it with Tree-kun healing ability I able to get most body part like finger, feet or whole arms back after losing it. I don't know about organ though but I am in no way willing to see either if it is possible to grow them back" Naruto said.

"Okay now that we don't have worry about Naruto condition because he can grow spare body parts…" Kakashi began.

"I still a chibi hanyou you know and will be for a few more day" Naruto deadpanned.

"Beside that fact that he still chibi hanyou for a few day, let get our training started by find what your element affinity is" Kakashi said.

"Hmm that weird" Naruto said as his paper split in half as one half crumble and the other became damp then a stem grew out of it while the other gape at him.

"Oh I know, hey Tree-kun, Cloud-kun can you guys get off of my shoulder for a moment I think you guys are interfering with the paper. Ah now it work" Naruto said as his paper only split in half.

"So when you link with your familiar with the Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) not only do you get their ability you get their element affinity it seem" Kakashi said.

"Yeah it seems like it, now that I think about it water and earth jutsu are easy to use when linking with Tree-kun" Naruto said.

"You never notice before?" Kakashi said.

"Not really I was more concerned with the jutsu working than anything" Naruto said.

"Point, now let see what element you two are" Kakashi said.

"Look like I got fire and lightning" Sasuke said as his crinkle and then burn.

"Water and earth for me" Sakura said as her paper got mostly damp while remaining part crumble.

"Well it look like all of you have more than one elements" Kakashi said.

"Correction I have multiply elements conditionally" Naruto said.

"True but the point I am making here is that you have a secondary element to fall back if your opponent use an element that is to a disadvantage toward yours" Kakashi said.

"What do you mean sensei?" Sakura asked.

"Each element is weak toward one element while at the same time stronger than another. Fire for example is strong against wind but weak against water, while wind is strong against lighting and weak against fire, lighting strong against earth but weak against wind, earth strong against water weak against lighting and water is strong against fire and weak against earth. Now that we know what element you have we work on how to control them" Kakashi said.

"I already know how to use fire jutsu" Sasuke said.

"Yes I know most Uchiha learn some fire jutsu at a young age but by learning how to control your nature affinity not only can you use the jutsu better but also be able to create your own jutsu" Kakashi said.

"Ero-Kakashi-sensei is right I was able to create all my wind jutsu through nature transformation exercise like leaf cutting exercise" Naruto said.

"You learn that exercise already who taught you that?" Kakashi asked.

"Cloud-kun since he is a wind elemental he know lot of wind control exercises, currently he been teaching me how to cut rock with my palm and foot" Naruto said.

"Well since you know it would you mind show your teammate what they most likely be doing" Kakashi said.

"Sure. Okay my affinity is wind, which good for brute force and cutting or slashing damage, the cutting leaf exercise is a good way for me to train" Naruto said as cut a leaf in half between his palms.

"Right since leafs are similar to the chakra papers that was used to determine your element is a good place to start. Sasuke since already good at fire jutsu I recommend that start with the leaf burning exercise and after you burn five leaf to ashes move to your training your lighting affinity by crinkling five leafs. As for Sakura I recommended that you do water dew exercise first, which draws the moister from the air on to the leaf, since it seem that your main element is water. Once you gather enough water to fill this small cup move on to earth by crumbling five leafs to dust. Naruto since you already good with wind I want you to do what Sakura is doing without the help of Tree-san to developed a secondary and possible a third affinity. Once you get pass this I give some jutsu related to your element" Kakashi said.

"So you know some wind jutsu huh?" Naruto asked.

"Well actually that the only element that I not really good at, I do have a few scroll on some wind jutsu but I think Asuma here can help you in that department. Through I might be able to help you with more wind control exercise to better you wind jutsu. Also you mention that you were close to complete the Rasengan so can you show me how far you got?" Kakshi asked.

"Sure but because I still haven't find a way to deal with the backlash yet it only safe for me to use it as little as possible and are you sure Asuma can help me?" Naruto asked.

"Sure if you can get Choji and Shikamaru to finish their chakra exercise" Asuma said.

"Good luck with that no matter how much I boss them they won't do what I want them to do" Ino said.

"Hmm I know hey Choji if you finish the tree walking exercise I will give 50 bags of the limited edition barbeque chicken flavor Nin-chips that Happy Wacky Snack makes and if you finish the water walking exercise you get 50 bags of the limited edition teriyaki flavor Nin-chips. And Shikamaru you know that the fast you finish the exercise the more time you have to relax and do nothing but look at clouds" Naruto said.

"Really alright must finish for the yummy Nin-chips" Choji said getting pump and began to work harder.

"Well if that the case I better get this done with" Shikamaru said as he began to work better and now almost at the top of the tree.

"I can't believe this you were able to motive them" Asuma said.

"It not that hard if you understand them, positive reinforcement work well with Choji so if you promise him treat for his accomplish he would work hard for them. As for Shikamaru he will work hard to not work hard. Oh also Shikamaru already master tree walking exercise and Choji is not that far off from mastering since they train with me from time to time" Naruto said.

"WHAT!" Asuma and Ino yelled.

"Damn it Naruto did you have to tell them" Shikamura said.

"Yes because now that they know you know more there less thing for you to learn meaning more time for you to do what you want" Naruto said.

"Good point how come I didn't think of that?" Shikamura asked.

"Because you were too busy sleeping" Naruto replied.

"Hmm that must be it" Shikamura said.

"Naruto are there any more teaching tip you can give me for these two. If you do I teach you as many wind technique that I can" Asuma said.

"Deal" Naruto said.

_A Few Hours Later_

"Okay Naruto-sama all thing that living like plants, animals and even humans will one day die and decay, returning nutrient to the world" Tree said.

"Thank for the lesson in the circle of life but thinking of such thing is kind of morbid" Naruto said.

"That not the point here, the point is that you are forcing the leaf to decay in order for it to become dirt or earth. Like the purpose of the dew leaf exercise that you completed, it is to draw the water in the air when you not near any body of water, the purpose of this exercises is to draws the earth in all its forms around you. So forces and you will eventually get it" Tree said.

"I think I got it" Naruto said as the leaf in his hand turn to dust.

"Good job Naruto-sama I knew you can do it" Tree said.

"Yes, good work team, look like I can start teaches you all some jutsu tomorrow" Kakashi as he looks at his student surrounded by either by burn and crinkle leafs or damp and crumble leafs.

"So what jutsu do we get sensei" Sakura asked.

"Well for you Sakura I will teach you a few c-rank water and earth jutsu. A defense, short, mid, and long range jutsu for each element. For Sasuke since you know a lot of fire jutsu for Uchiha library I will teach you more lighting jutsu. You also got a handle of channel fire through your chokuto now we work with lighting and be able to switch between the two fast in battle. As for Naruto well I guess we can…" Kakashi said.

"Actually Ero-Kakashi-sensei there this wind jutsu that I am working on and I want to complete it, so I thought that I work on that and you can get me some pointer on it" Naruto interrupt to say.

"That fine with me and I kind of curious to see what you working on but anyway let call it a day and work on them tomorrow. Before we go Naruto you said you going to show us how far you got to completing the Rasengan so let see it before we go back" Kakashi said.

"Yeah let see how great this jutsu is" Asuma said follow by team ten.

"Okay but you better stand back" Naruto said making two kage bunshin.

"Kage bunshin?" Kakashi inquired.

"It all part of the proceed" Naruto said as one clone shape the chakra shaping it to look like fuma shuriken with sphere at the center while the other add in the wind-natured chakra making loud bell-like screech.

"Futon: Rasenshuriken" Naruto said slam it into the boulder obliterating it and creating a large crater while everyone look on with awe.

"That definitely an S-rank…Naruto let me see your arm" Kakashi said as he saw Naruto's arm shake badly.

"Now you see why I want to make it a mid to long distance attack, it okay right now so long as I don't use it too much to cause permanent damage" Naruto said as Kakashi perform a diagnosis on his arm.

"Naruto until you able to do make it a mid to long distance attack, I ask you to never use it unless you have no other choice" Kakashi said.

"What, why not it looks like an incredible jutsu how come he can't use whenever he want?" Sasuke asked.

"The attack is very devastating creating countless microscopic wind-blade that destroy the body at a cellular level that can damage the chakra circulatory system which current medical ninjutsu can't fix however when using it close range it also damage the user meaning it does the same damage to Naruto's arm" Kakashi said.

"And if I keeps this up my arm will be damage beyond repair to the point that I will lose my arm and wouldn't be able to do jutsu anymore. Even my Kitsune no Iyashi (Fox Healing) can't do anything about it since it depended on the chakra circulatory system to works" Naruto said while others were shock at the consequence of the jutsu.

"All that power for such a price how troublesome" Shikamaru said.

"Aright let head back before it get dark and Naruto it is good to see that you are training hard to be a great Shinobi but remember that you don't need to do it until you reach your breaking point" Kakashi said ruffling Naruto's hair.

"I know" Naruto said.

_Zabuza Hideout_

"Some demon you are, getting defeated by a bunch a brat. So what do you have to say about that" Gatou said.

"…"

"Hey answer me" Gatou said as he moves his hand toward Zabuza.

"Don't you dare touch Zabuza-sama with your filthy hand" Haku said grasping and breaking Gatou's hand while his bodyguards draw their sword to save their boss.

"You don't want to pissed me off right now" Haku said appearing between them taking their sword away from them and point back at them.

"Fail again and it will cost you" Gatou said as he and his bodyguard left.

"You didn't have to do that Haku" Zabuza said.

"I know we have to be patient, once we deal with the bridge builder we can deal with Gatou" Haku said.

_The Next Day _

"Finally free at last, free at last! I am a real boy again I'm a human I'm me and not a Kami forsaken chibi" Naruto cried to the heavens in his regular form.

"Okay we get it you're happy that you are not a chibi anymore but can you shut up for a minute so we know what we are doing for today training" Sasuke said.

"Now that I have everyone attention let gets started. Sakura the two jutsu that you are starting with are Doton: Doheki (Earth Style: Mud Wall) and Suiton: Baburushirudo (Water Style: Bubble Shield) basic defense jutsu, good start for supporter type like you. Sasuke you will work with channeling lighting through your chokuto than works on switching between fire and lighting instantly, afterward work on channeling both elements. As for Naruto show us what you working so I can give you some hint" Kakashi said.

"Right" Naruto said as he releases chakra from every part of his body and causing the wind to flow around him making him float above the ground.

"Flying, wasn't that what you were working on before we did the bell test?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes but flying is just a side benefit of this technique that I am working on, use your Sharingan to see what I am really doing" Naruto said.

"I still don't know if I should be glad that I unlock all tree tomoe of the Sharingan fully maturing it from the crazy spar we did or murder you for almost killing me multiply in that spar" Sasuke said as he turn on his Sharingan.

"What do you see Sasuke?" Kakashi asked.

"It seem like the chakra around him is breathing in and out of his body. From what I can tell it he creating a current system of chakra around his body and he is floating by controlling the wind around him to lift him up" Sasuke said.

"Let me show you the potential of this jutsu" Naruto said as wind around them pick up and then he punch a nearby boulder causing an explosive of dust on impact, once it was clear they saw a hole in the boulder that look like it was drill through.

"I guessing that the little gust of wind has something to do with what just happen" Kakashi said.

"Yeah before the dobe punch the rock the current system around him began to draw the surrounding air and pull it toward his fist, when he hit the boulder he release all the wind-natured chakra energy that was gather" Sasuke said.

"The purpose of this jutsu is to control and bend the flow of the air in the environment around me to the point that I can cloak myself in an armor of wind, fly, enhance my futon (Wind Style) jutsu or generate weapon of wind. This jutsu as Cloud stated, who is also the one that inspired and help me created it, it will help me understand the very essence of the wind element and I will come close to being one with the air around us" Naruto said.

"That jutsu seems to use a lot of chakra" Kakashi said.

"It costs way less than half of what it takes to make one shadow clone but you have to constantly have it on does drain a lot out of you especially when you are on the offensive with it" Naruto said.

"Well based on the chakra cost, it capability and power I said this low A-rank jutsu. Hmm, 12 years old and my little genin is already creating his very first A-rank jutsu I'm so proud" Kakashi said as he wipe a teardrop from his eye.

"Please tell me you aren't one of those ninja dads that cheer for their kid loudly to kick the other one's ass" Naruto deadpanned.

"Hey is it possible to use an element other wind for this jutsu" Sasuke asked.

"Yes it is but I only use wind because that is my main element" Naruto said.

"Hn it will take time to reach your monster size chakra reserve so I can't have an armor of fire or lighting anytime soon but it is possible to get a part of it like a fire or lighting gauntlet. This has a lot of possible so can you teach me it?" Sasuke asked.

"Well once I master it I can give you a scroll on exercises and methods enable for me to do this jutsu however for the element aspect of it you are on your own" Naruto said.

"That fine with me, it might help me come up with some stuff on my own if I do it by myself" Sasuke said.

"Are you sure you are okay with giving your jutsu that you created to Sasuke not that their anything wrong with it but I thought you want to keep as one of your own personal technique for yourself?" Kakashi asked.

"Well I not really giving it to him just the process and ideas that help me created that jutsu and beside exchange ideas is a good way to make friend, not that teme here will admitted to it" Naruto said.

"I said that you are somewhat tolerable to be around when you are not in one of you insane states" Sasuke stated.

"See what I mean anyway this also helps me form allies that I need when I have to deal with polities" Naruto said.

"Oh yeah we still have to deal with the remaining two member of the league of unholy miserable old people known as Homura and Koharu, couldn't we just kill them and be done with it?" Sasuke asked.

"No it won't be any fun if they die too soon beside we are not done with torturing them yet" Naruto said.

"Okay ignoring your murder plot have you come up with a name for your new jutsu?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes in the memory of my father own special jutsu I decide to called it Hiko Fujin no Jutsu (Flying Wind God Technique) and the name work because I can actually fly" Naruto said.

"It a good name for it and your father would be proud of it too" Kakashi said ruffling Naruto's hair.

"Well the only problem I have with it is this" Naruto said as he tries to turn in mid-air but send flying toward a tree.

"Still have trouble controlling how much wind power I should be output so this doesn't happen so I need more on wind control exercises" Naruto said.

"Well I know a few like the rock and waterfall cutting exercises but since you are working on control the wind around your body I recommend you do them with your hand first then your feet. For the waterfall cutting exercise I suggest once you are able to do it with your hand work on walking up the waterfall with chakra then try cutting it with your feet this way you also get more control on your chakra along with nature transformation" Kakashi stated.

"Alright I will start with cutting rock in half" Naruto said as he and his team began to train.

Omake:

~Academy Days Naruto 101 Ways of Getting Detention: Number 21 to 30 I Want See What Would Happen~

_Number 21 Baking Soda and Vinegar Do Mix Well_

"Naruto I know this is definitely your fault so explain why did you do this and what I am giving you detention for?" Iruka asked outside the academy which is now flood with a foaming substance.

"Well considering what happen when you mix baking soda and vinegar, I wanted to see what happen when you do it on a bigger scale" Naruto answered.

"So you decide to dump a butt load of vinegar and baking soda into the classroom and end up blowing up the school" Iruka said.

"The good news was no one got hurt because I choose to do it on the weekend where no one was inside expect for Mizuki for reason unknown who in the hospital for nearly drowning in the mixture but I don't like him so it doesn't matter" he said.

"Beside the reaction was not an explosive one but a fizzing one" the bunny mask ANBU said.

"That talk sound like the work of chemistry which is blasphemy because we do not learn such thing in ninja's science" Naruto said.

"You haven't learned about chemistry because you don't learn about it until next term Naruto" Iruka said.

"Really, yes next term I get to play with dangerous and deadly chemical of all kind" Naruto cheered.

"I have a bad feeling about next term" Iruka said.

"And I will go warn the Hokage about it" the bunny ANBU said.

_Number 22 Bacon Boxer Make a Fashion Statement_

"Naruto do you have anything to do with the fact that Mizuki is being chase by a pack of ravenousness dogs?" Iruka asked as a screaming Mizuki ran pass him follow by a pack of ravenousness dogs.

"Hmm it might have something to do with the fact that he is wearing bacon boxer which he does not know about since I genjutsu them to look like regular boxer" Naruto said.

"Why would you do that?" Iruka asked.

"You mean beside the fact that I hate him and keep getting a bad guy vibe from that teme?" he asked.

"Yes" Iruka said.

"Well I also wanted to see how long he can run from a pack of ravenousness dogs" he said.

"Holy Kami one of them bite my butt" scream Mizuki from a distance.

"And from the look of thing not very long" he said.

"Did you also release those ravenousness dogs at him?" Iruka asked.

"Momma they bitten mini-Mizuki we have a man down send in the medic" Mizuki screamed in a high pitch voices.

"Nope I only release half of those ravenousness dogs at him, I don't know where the other half comes from" he said.

"That not the point here" Iruka deadpanned.

"So weekend detention or weekday detention?" Naruto asked.

"Weekday detention, I need a break from you from time to time" Iruka said.

_Number 23 Catapulting Perverts _

"Come on go get you smut you perverted" Naruto said from the bushes.

"Naruto what are you doing in the bushes?" Iruka asked.

"Shh be very, very quiet I'm hunting perverts" he said.

"What now?" Iruka asked.

"Shh just watch and you see what happen" Naruto said as he and Iruka look on. They saw a sliver hair ninja walk to pick up an Icha Icha Paradise book at the center of an X painted on the ground, once he did the platform that the X was paint on launch him across the village.

"Yes it work" Naruto cheered pumping his fist up in the air.

"Naruto" Iruka sighed.

"Huh oh, I just want to see if there a stupid pervert out there stupid enough to fall for a trap likes that one" he said.

"Ever though that person deserve that you still have detention for what you did" Iruka said.

"Deserve to be catapult for being stupid enough to fall for the trap or for being a perverted?" he asked.

"Both" Iruka said.

"Okay but I do hope that I did end up kill him" Naruto said.

"I sure he fine" Iruka said not knowing how wrong he is. That person, who was Kakashi, end up being catapult into a hot spring full of Kunoichi. Once they saw who he was and what he was holding the angrily beat him up to the point that he forgot about that day so he never learns the danger of being a pervert.

_Number 24 Mime in the Invisible Box_

"Hmm not much different except that now I can see the actually invisible box which is a contradiction in itself. Better stick with saying it is a glass box" Naruto said as a mime pounded on the wall of a glass box.

"Naruto?" Iruka asked in a really worried voice.

"Oh hey Iruka-sensei I just seeing what a mime would do in a actually invisible box so I found one and put him in a glass box" Naruto said look at the glass box.

"Umm I think the mime is suffocating inside there" Iruka said as he saw the mime began to fall to the ground.

"Hmm might have to do with not pulling any air hole for him" Naruto said as the mime fall to the ground.

"Naruto he going to die if you don't set him free" Iruka said.

"Well then there will be one less mime in the world. As you know mime are the nature enemy of us ninja also they are evil" Naruto said (I do not promote mime violence).

"Naruto set him free please" Iruka said.

"Fine but why does no one believe me when I say mimes are evil. I mean they are silence and deadly like us ninja but those black and white face paints are the sign of evil" Naruto said as he broke the glass box.

"Mahaha now that I am free you will feel the wraith of the league of evil mime as I will do evil thing to you because we mime are evil" the mime said after he gasp in some air.

"Hey you talk" Naruto said.

"Oh no a mime is forbidden to speak if they do they will die. I'm dying, dying" the mine said as he fall down and die.

"So want to go blow up some evil mime before I have to sever the detention for this?" Naruto asked.

"Sure let go" Iruka said.

_Number 25 Rocket Power Chair_

"I HATE YOU MIZUKI, YOU STOLE MY ROCKET POWER CHAIR AND ONE CHANCE TO FLY TO SPACE YOU TEME" Naruto yell to Mizuki as he flow off to the sky.

"SOMEONE GET ME DOWN" Mizuki yelled.

"Naruto explain what happen" Iruka said.

"Well I wanted to see how high I can fly on my rocket power chair until Mizuki teme stole it" he said.

"Naruto detention" Iruka sighed.

"What why Mizuki is the one that stole the chair by pushing the button on the chair that ignite the rockets, even when I put up a sign that state not to sit on it or push the button" Naruto said.

"Really" Iruka said rising an eyebrow.

"Well if I put up a sign that said 'don't sit down' and 'don't push the button' people will do the opposite of what it say so I put a sign that said 'Please sit down' and 'Please push the button'. Does that get me out detention?" Naruto asked.

"No and what more you get an extra day of detention for it" Iruka said.

_Number 26 Raider of the Lost Scroll_

"Naruto why are there peoples with foam coming out their mouth litter around a box with a sign that next to it that said 'Super-Secret Information of Konoha Here'" Iruka asked.

"Well I wanted to see how many people would come if I pass out flyer that stated that there is a box that contain super-secret information of Konoha that will be place out in the open. So I did that and soon a lot of foreign ninja came and open the box, once they did they began to foam at the mouth and later pass out soon after" he said.

"Naruto what is in the box?" Iruak asked.

"It contains a seal the force the person who opened it to see one of the most horrifying memory that I ever saw that involved one of my senpai who dress in a green jumpsuit and his sensei also in a green jumpsuit embracing in a manly hug. I was able to survive experiencing it because my mind exists on the borderline of sanity and insanity" Naruto said.

"Naruto you have detention for bring about this unholy artifact" Iruka said.

_Number 27 The Nightmare Where You Are Stand In Front of Everyone in Your Underwear_

"Okay my report on the art of Taijutsu" Naruto said in front of the class while his male classmate were laughing at him, the female where ether laughing, blushing or pass out with a nosebleed (Hinata was in the group that pass out with a nosebleed), and Iruka was face-palming.

"Naruto where are your article of clothing other than your underwear?" Iruka asked.

"At home" he said.

"Why?" Iruka asked.

"Well, I was really nervous about speaking in front of the class to the point that every day since then I keep having the dream where you are standing in front of the class in your underwear. Well I decide to face my fear by do the presentation in my underwear and see what the big deal was. Now that I did it I don't know what I was afraid of" Naruto said.

"Naruto detention and put on some clothes before people start to think that you are an exhibitionist" Iruka sighed.

_Number 28 Why Underage Drinking Is Bad_ (I don't promote underage drinking)

"Naruto why are you in jail again and why does your breath smell of alcohol also why are there a bunch of Kunoichis and women outside trying to kidnap you and yelling for the right to bear your children" Iruka asked.

"I don't know all that I do remember is that I drink a bunch of sake last night because someone said getting drunk is fun and then the next I remember is waking up in a jail cell with a major hangover, kiss mark all over my face, my clothes torn and fruity taste in my mouth with the taste of alcohol" he said rubbing his forehead.

"I don't know what happen but I know you did something stupid that earn you the detention that you are getting right now" Iruka said.

"Also we are required to put out a red alert for every time you decide to go out to drinking" the bunny masked ANBU said suddenly appearing.

"You randomly appear because it fun to do right?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah kind of" the bunny ANBU said.

"Um why is there a red alert for Naruto when goes out drinking?" Iruka asked.

"Because he got his name in the bingo book and now a bunch of Kunoichis and women is out to kidnap him and ravish him due to his drunken escapade" the bunny ANBU said.

"Okay next time you go out drinking I'm coming with you" Iruka said.

"Me too" the bunny ANBU said.

_Number 29 Time and Space Is All Fun and Game until Someone Become Their Own Grandfather_

"Naruto what is that?" Iruak asked pointing at a portal that was emitting a lot of electrical discharge while the other students move far away from it as possible.

"That Iruka-sensei is a tear in the space-time continuum" Naruto being the only who still in his seat said as if it was an everyday conversation.

"Explain why there is a tear in the space-time continuum in my classroom" Iruka said.

"Well I wanted to see if I can travel through time so I began to mess with the fabric of reality with my special seal and end up accidentally causing a rip in time and space" he said.

"Nartuo you of all people should never play with the fabric of reality. If world doesn't end you will serve detention for this" Iruka said as the bright pillar of light explode from the portal and once it dissipate a baby Tyrannosaurus Rex stood where the portal was.

"A dinosaur kickass, I so keep as my pet" Naruto said.

"NO!" Iruka and all the mortal and immortal being that knew how bad this decides will turn out yell. So in order for the universe to correct itself, with a pop the T-Rex was send back to the past from which it came from.

"Aw I wanted a pet dinosaur" Naruto pouted.

"Something aren't meant to be" Iruka said.

"Well I can create another tear in the space-time continuum and hopeful get a pet dragon this time" he said.

"NO! Naruto mess with time and space is dangerous you could end up becoming my grandfather" Iruka said.

"Don't you mean becoming you own grandfather?" he asked.

"No if you did end up becoming you own grandfather that would explain a lot actually however if you ever end up as my grandfather it will cause a trauma that will take years of therapy to deal with" Iruka said.

"Hey I not that bad, I would be a good grandfather to my grandchildren right Hinata" Naruto said to Hinata which cause her to think of Naruto being a father of a lot of cute and happy children and over time a grow old and becoming a grandfather, which cause her to think of her being the mother of Naruto's children, which cause her to think of the act of making those children that is done with Naruto, which cause her face to go really red and pass out.

"Wow the idea of me becoming such an awesome grandfather causes her to pass out from the awesomeness" Naruto said.

"Naruto I pray for your descendent and hope that my prayers are answer because they need it" Iruka said.

_Number 30 Saturday_

"What are you doing here it Saturday and you don't have class today?" Iruka asked.

"I wanted to see what it is likes to come to class on the weekend and I got to said it's really boring" he said.

"Of course it is you baka there nothing for you to do here" Iruka deadpanned.

"So how about you why are you here?" he asked.

"I left something behind" Iruka answered.

"Ah I see so what will today lecture be about?" he asked.

"I just going to ignore that fact that you want to learn for right and tell you just to go home now and deal with the detail of your detention on Monday" Iruka said.

"Hmm do I have to?" he asked.

"Naruto just go" Iruka said.

A/N: …Sayonara no Jutsu


	11. Chapter 11 Close Encounter with the Effe

Land of Wave and Zubuza's Sword that Can't Cut through Reinforce Rice Paper Arc:

Chapter 11~Close Encounter with the Effeminate Kind~

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me nor dose any of the other random reference in this story

A/N: I'm still alive and haven't been kidnap by any pan-dimensional being to be abandon on some strange world to fight against the rule of some mystic kingdom.

"normal Speech"

'thoughts'

**Demon and other uber being**

Different language 

* * *

><p><em>The Mobile Home Tent near Tazuna House<em>

"Time to wake up Naru-Naru" said a strange blue hair boy around the age of 8 sitting atop of Naruto's chest.

"Can you get off it is kind of hard to breath when you are crushing my lungs" Naruto gasped.

"Sorry" he said getting off.

"I didn't know that Tsunami-chan has another antsy brat" Naruto said.

"I'm not antsy nor am I a son of Tsunami-chan" the boy said.

"Then who are you and what are you doing here?" Naruto asked.

"My name is Ju, I'm here because I was searching for you and now I finally found you" Ju said.

"Why were you looking for?" Naruto asked.

"Can't tell you because you are not ready to know it yet however what I can say is that it's time for breakfast so get up and make some waffles" he said.

"Damn troublesome brat making so much noises this early in the morning, Naruto, who's the kid and what does he want?" Shikamaru asked.

"His name is Ju and he wants waffles so I guess we are having waffle for breakfast" Naruto said.

"Waffles!" Choji cheered.

"Chocolate chip with blueberries and strawberries topping for me" Ju said.

_Kitchen _

"We have a waffle maker?" Tsunami asked while everyone else was sitting at the table eating or waiting for their waffle.

"Nope, I have a waffle maker" Naruto said.

"And you carry it with you everywhere?" she asked again.

"Yep" Naruto replied.

"How come?" She asked.

"Never know when you need one, so what do you want on your waffle?" Naruto asked.

"You really don't have to do that, you already done a lot for us so you don't need to provide us extra food" she said.

"Nonsense, beside I know how it feel to not have enough food to eat and starve so I don't mind helping those who are less fortune than me" Naruto said.

"Alright then I will have strawberries on it" she said.

"Where my blueberries waffle?" Kakashi asked.

"In a second" Naruto replied.

"Okay since we got some training in we should start guard duty so now we need to decide who should guard Tazuna at the bridge today while the other get in some last minute training" Kakashi said.

"I can do it since I was planning on training by the sea today" Naruto said.

"You were?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah, since crashing into the water hurt ways less than crashing into the solid ground even though I will have my clones do it for the most part. Beside I can make a lot of kage bunshin meaning I can train and guard at the same time" Naruto said.

"Okay so Naruto will guard Tazuna, while every else continue to train and I will get some last minute rest" Kakashi said.

"And since I have nothing else to do I shall follow Naru-Naru" Ju said.

"So umm who is this kid again?" Kakashi asked.

"Other than knowing that his name is Ju, I don't really know" Naruto replied.

"What is he doing here?" Kakashi asked.

"He said that he was searching for me for some reason that he can't tell me yet" Naruto said.

"Is he an enemy ninja?" Kakashi asked.

"I don't think so" Naruto replied.

"So you going to keep him like some lost puppy?" Kakashi asked.

"I guess" Naruto said.

"Well then make sure he well feed and water also that he is house train too" Kakashi said.

"What do you think I made waffle for" Naruto said.

_At the Bridge_

"To the right" Ju said on Naruto's back as he glide through the air.

"No left" Cloud said also on Naruto's back.

"Right" Ju said.

"Left" Cloud said.

"Right"

"Left"

'Splash'

"Okay no more backseat driving or I will turn myself around and leave you two at the bridge with my clones" Naruto said getting up after crashing into the sea.

"Okay" Cloud and Ju said.

"The things ninja can do." Tazuna mused.

"Yep we have many talented" one of clone guarding Tazuna said.

"Tazuna, can we talk for a minute?" one of the worker asked.

"What is it Giichi?" Tazuna asked.

"I've been doing some thinking and decide to stop working on the bridge" Giichi said.

"What! Why?" Tazuna asked.

"If we continue this Gatou will notice it and if we get killed then what is the point of it all? I want to help you but it is getting too dangerous" Giichi said.

"Fine you don't have to come anymore now if you excuse me I have some work to do" Tazuna said.

"I'm sorry" Giichi said as he left.

"Seem like you could use an extra pair of hand" Naruto said arrive at the bridge.

"You're volunteering?" Tazuna asked.

"Well I'm not a professional but can be handy at time" he replied.

"Sure why not I can use all the help I can get" Tazuna said.

"Alright a hundred should do if you need more tell me, well I have to get back to training" he said.

"A hundred is more than enough, okay I assign each of a task" Tazuna order as Naruto went back to training.

_Marketplace_

"You don't know how bad it is until you see it firsthand, Gatou really did a number to this place" Naruto said.

"Yeah, almost everyone here have lost all their hope that why we need the bridge to return everyone's courage so thing goes back like it was before Gatou came. Anyway let hurry and pick up some foods" Tazuna said.

'There's hardly anything to buy in here' Naruto thought entering the market.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique) okay Tazuna my clones will escort you back home and here take this scroll it contain all kind of foods seal inside it, Tsunami can take anything she want and as much she want just asked Ero-Kakashi-sensei to unseal it for her" Naruto said making three clones.

"What? You already done so much for us we can't ask you for more" Tazuna said.

"It fine you don't have to worry about it just leaved some leftover for me oh and take Ju-kun home with you, well see you all later I'll be back soon" Naruto said.

"Wait, where are you going?" Tazuna asked.

"Can I come please?" Ju asked

"I'm going to have some fun at the red light district so no Ju-kun you can't come with me" Naruto said ruffling Ju's hair and then left.

"Wait isn't he a bit young for that?" Tazuna stated.

"Not that kind of fun, come on let head back already" one of the clone said.

"Aw I don't see why I can't go too I know all about the birds and the bees" Ju pouted.

"You do" one of the clone asked.

"Yes, birds sing and bees sting" Ju said.

"I don't think that exactly it" the clone said.

"Then what is it exactly?" Ju asked.

"Something you learn when you are older and it will be less traumatic for you then it was for me" the clone replied.

_The Red Light District _

"Okay which one of you loser are Gatou's worthless Yes-man?" Naruto ask kicking in the door of the bar that was one of Gatou's men local hangout that he learn of from an illegal gambling den that he visited to gain some info and win a lot of money from.

"Brat that was very foolish, it the kind of foolishness that will get you kill" a henchman said as he and another one got up from their chair.

"So you two, alright better get to work then" Naruto said as he got behind them and knock them out.

"You didn't see anything and these are not the droid that you are looking for" Naruto said waving a hand and then left carrying the two henchmen to a secluded location to be interrogated while the other ignored the scene they just saw.

_Rocky Sea Cliff _

"Okay I have some question and you will answer them" Naruto said to the two tie-up henchmen hanging upside down over the edge of a rocky sea cliff.

"And if we don't answer them then we will be swimming with the fishes right?" one of the henchmen asked.

"Of course not what make you said that?" Naruto asked tilting his head.

"Oh I don't know maybe the fact that you hanged us upside down over a freak'n cliff where you can just cut the rope that is holding us and drop us to our watery grave" the other henchman said.

"Oh this is just for dramatic effect, truth be told I have a jutsu that can get the information I need so this is total unnecessary" Naruto said.

"You are insane aren't you?" the first henchman asked.

"Borderline insane my good sir borderline, anyways let get this interrogation started Seishin o Kowasu Mono: Shinjitsu no Ken (Spirit Breaker: Sword of Truth)" Naruto said marking them with his chakra dagger once the jutsu active sword of light piece through the body through the mark seal.

"What the hell is this?" asked one of the henchmen who was freaking out having a sword of light cutting through his body.

"Shinjitsu no ken or sword of truth, it won't hurt you or do any damage but it will compel the person it effect to speak the truth so any question I asked you will be answer truthfully. So let began how many mercenaries and ninjas does Gatou have in his service?" Naruto asked.

"A few hundred mercenaries but the only ninja he only hired are Zabuza, his apprentice and the demon brothers" the henchman said.

"He didn't hire anymore ninja?" Naruto asked writing down the information down on a notebook that he pulled out from somewhere.

"No they are too expensive to hire a lot of, hell even Gatou hired a few more mercenaries to get rid of Zabuza and his crews once he finishes killing off the bridge builder, you and your team so that he doesn't have to pay him in the end because it is cheaper to hire a few mercenaries than one missing ninja" the henchman said.

"Hmm maybe I can use that information to my advantage somehow. Okay next question where is the location of your headquarter?" Naruto asked.

"On the first island northwest from here" the henchman answered.

"Now what is the most embarrassing thing that you have ever done?" Naruto asked.

"I farted in front of the girl that I was about to confess to because of that I ran away from home to become a mercenary" the first henchman said.

"I like to were dresses and call myself Betty because it make me feel petty" the other henchman said.

"Okay that was deeply disturbing" Naruto said.

"What was the point of the last question?" the henchman asked.

"No point, I just ran out of thing to ask so I just started asking random question for no reason. Anyway since we are done here I will wipe your memory of our meeting and set you free to buy us some more time and to keep your boss from getting suspicious Seishin o Kowasu Mono: Kossetsu Memori (Spirit Breaker: Fracture Memory)" Naruto said knocking out Gatou's two henchmen.

_Tazuna House_

"Hmm it getting late and Naruto still not back yet where did you say he went off to, Tazuna?" Kakashi asked.

"Well if I remember right he said something about having some fun at the red light district" Tazuna said.

"WHAT!" Sakura, Ino and Tsunami yelled.

"So he developed that kind of interest already" Asuma mused.

"Hehe Naruto my student I so proud, you already taken you first step toward manhood" Kakashi said crying tears of joy.

"Yo! Sorry that I am late, I ended up meeting some people and one thing led to another and let just said that I had a busy day and I'm really exhausted right now" Naruto said.

"Sure you are" Kakashi said winking his only visible eye at him which look like he blinking.

"Ero-Kakashi-sensei is there something wrong with your eye?" Naruto asked.

"No there nothing wrong, anyway did you have _fun_ after you split way with Tazuna?" Kakashi asked.

"NARUTO WHERE THE HELL WHERE YOU AND WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?" Sakura growled.

"Well I went to the red light district to gamble, won a million ryo, found the local bar where Gatou's men hang out at, capture, interrogate and wipe the memories of two of Gatou's henchmen. Then on my way back I ended up playing the Good Samaritan by cooking foods, donating clothes and building shelter for the homeless population of Wave, offer free medical treatment for the sick and help a bunch of old ladies cross the street. And that is why I am exhausted and late coming back" Naruto stated.

"You expected us to believe that?" She asked.

"I believe his excuses" Kakashi stated.

"That's because you are going to steal those excuse to use for yourself when you are late again" Sasuke stated.

"True if he lets me" Kakashi said.

"Sure whatever" Naruto replied.

"So what kind of info did you gather" Kakashi asked.

"It all in here, also I made some note on what course of action to take base on what info was gather" He said handing Kakashi the notebook.

"You actually interrogate Gatou's men?" Sakura asked.

"Yes I told you did, didn't I" Naruto stated.

"You're planning to take out Gatou?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes in order for me to expand my business here I need to get rid of him" Naruto stated.

"Would dad let you do such thing" Asuma asked.

"Well Ojiisan policy for allowing me to do political and business assassination for the benefits of my company is it is okay so long as I find a way to benefit Konoha too without cause any international incident. So I was thinking if I can get treaty sign to open a trade route between Wave and Konoha and get a discount on import and export between the two would fall within the parameter of the policy then he will be fine with it" Naruto said.

"The Hokage have a policy for when you do this kind of assassination attempts?" Kakashi asked.

"He has all kind of policy for me to follow in order to remind me that if I going to cause trouble that I should do it in way to help the village in the end rather than cause problem for it later on" Naruto said.

"And how many times have you done something that falls within this situation?" Kakashi asked.

"A few times" Naruto replied.

"Ten time to be exact" Asuma stated.

"Naruto can do some troublesome thing from time to time" Shikamaru stated.

"But that what make life so interesting" Naruto said.

"Yeah but it is still troublesome" Shikamaru stated.

"Well wash up dinner will be ready soon" Tsunami said.

_After Their Meal_

"Hey why is this picture torn up, who was in it?" Sakura asked after dinner.

"It was my husband" Tsunami answered.

"And also the man who was called the hero of this city" Tazuna added which cause Inari to get up and leave the room.

"Inari! Father I told you not to talk about that in front of him" Tsunami said who also got up and left the room.

"Well not be outdone I going to leave too" Naruto said getting up.

"Wait don't you want to know what this is all about?" Ino asked.

"Hmm oh I already know the whole story since Kaiza told it to me. Anyway I'm not in the mood for a tragic story right now so I think I will go out and play tag with Cloud, Tree and Mokona, Obito stay here in case of an emergency. Oh also Kurama is coming with us since he has nothing better to do than to come with us so he can run around in the woods" Naruto said.

"**That's not true"** Kurama said.

"So you have something better to do than come with us right now?" Naruto asked.

"**No"** Kurama replied.

"I'm coming too" Ju said.

"Okay, well then I guess we will see you all later" Naruto said as he, Cloud, Tree, Mokona, Ju and Kurama left the house.

"Playing tag what kind of ninja plays tag?" Ino asked.

"Troublesome it is Naruto's unique way of training he tried to find fun or challenging way to train to keep it interesting" Shikamaru stated.

"Tag for Naruto usually has his familiars constantly attacking him and trying to tag him while he does nothing but dodge using all the skill he has. We play it with him once and it was fun, well until one of us was it then it was very painful" Choji said.

"How does he know about Kaiza?" Tazuna asked.

"He told us that he talk to him" Kakashi answered.

"But he's…" Tazuna began.

"Dead?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes" Tazuna answered.

"Well it seems that his spirit hasn't move on to the afterlife and Naruto met his ghost" Kakashi stated.

"You ninjas can see spirits is that normal for you?" Tazuna asked.

"No as far as I know the only living person that can see spirits is Naruto, as for him being normal from what I can tell he was never normal to begin with. Anyways tell us about Kaiza" Kakashi said.

"Right it all begins with…" Tazuna began his story of the hero of Wave who lost his life fighting Gatou.

_In the Forest of Wave_

"Give me your best you guys" Naruto said facing Tree, Cloud and Mokona while Kurama explore the forest with Ju following him.

"Mokuton: Maruchi Mori Yari (Wood Style: Multi Forest Spears)" Tree shouted as multiple wooden spears erupted from the ground to pierce Naruto while he jumped, flipped and do all kind of acrobatic move to dodge them.

"Futon: Kuki Gyorai (Wind Style: Air Torpedo)" Cloud said zooming in making Naruto sway to the right to avoid him.

"Mokona kick!" Mokona said doing a jump kick while Naruto sidestep to the left to avoid the attack.

"Futon: Kaze Kojun (Wind Style: Descending Wind)" Cloud said flying to the ground to head-butt Naruto while the other move in and tag him.

"You were able to avoid being tag for an hour and thirty-one minute, Naruto-kun" Mokona stated.

"Okay five minute break then we doing it again" Naruto panted. Afterward that the four continue on with the game until late in the night before Naruto pass out and fall asleep in the forest.

_The Next Morning_

'He the ninja from before' Haku thought as he came into the clearing to where Naruto and the other were sleeping.

"You know it kind of creepy to stare at someone while they are sleeping Hunter-san" Naruto said waking up but his eyes were still shut causing Haku to move back in a defensive stance.

'How the hell did he know, damn it I didn't bring any of my weapons with me so now I'm in a real bind right now' Haku thought.

"I wonder if I miss breakfast, oh and good morning Hunter-san" Naruto yawned.

"How did you know who I am?" Haku asked still on his guard.

"Like I told you last time I can see into the depth of your soul" Naruto said while tilting his head.

"So you not going tell me huh just like a true shinobi" Haku said.

"What are you talking about I just told you how, I can see into the depth of your soul. For example from what I can see from your soul is that you are very loyal to Zabuza but I also see a lot of pain and suffering from your pass plus you like to cross-dress which is kind of disturbing considering how effeminate you look" Naruto said.

"I don't like to cross-dress it just that I don't mind. Anyways you shouldn't under estimate me" Haku said.

"Of course I won't considering that your Hyoton ability can turn me into a human Popsicle" Naruto said.

"You also know that from looking into my soul?" Haku asked.

"Nope I figure that out from how you are able to attracted ice elemental and the fact that you created an ice mirror to escape our last battle" Naruto said.

"So what if you know my ability you won't beat me, I won't failed Zabuza-sama" Haku said.

"Okay anyways my name is Naruto Uzumaki what's your?" Naruto asked.

"Haku" he replied.

"And I'm Ju aren't I the cutest kid you ever saw" Ju added because he didn't want to be left out.

"Sure anyways how come you're not getting up aren't we going to fight?" Haku asked.

"Nope don't feel like it" Naruto said.

"What aren't we enemies?" Haku asked.

"Well from what I found out I wonder if we are" Naruto said.

"And what did you found out Mr. All Knowing Ninja?" Haku asked.

"Frist I'm not all knowing if I was I wound know how to make vegetable tasted like miso ramen and secondly what I know is that Gatou plan to hire a bunch mercenaries to get rid of Zabuza and you once he finish killing off the bridge builder" Naruto said.

"What? Wait, how do I know if you are telling me the truth or not?" Haku asked.

"You really don't but considering how greedy Gatou is, it mostly what will happen and if you want to know for sure you can always kidnapped one of his men in secret and interrogated them that how I found out. Other than that all you can do is trust me" Naruto said.

"And why should I trust you?" Haku asked.

"Because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of being trustworthy, well actually that not true however considering that I haven't attack you or the fact that if I wanted you dead I could of killed you when you thought that I was asleep at least give you enough reason to hear me out" Naruto said.

"Fine I will hear you out" Haku said sitting down.

"Okay I want you to tell Zabuza that I want to make a deal with him" Naruto said.

"What kind of deal?" Haku asked.

"Join forces to eliminating Gatou since he is a common enemy seeing as he trying to kill the person we are guarding while at the same time going to stab you guys in the back but if you want proof then we can wait until does the act and then deal with him. Once that out of the way I can negotiate with Zabuza to aid him in his quest to overthrow the Fourth Mizukage" Naruto said.

"And what would you gain from help us?" Haku asked.

"Many things connection to people in high places for one, I mean if this work and Zabuza become the new Mizaukage than I gain some political power. Also if he the new Mizaukage then I can expand my business to Kirigakure and I gain a profit from it. Also it gives me a place to run away to if I ever get exile or worst. There a lot of ignorant and prejudices idiots in the village that don't like me but thing been getting better however I should prepare for the worst just in case" Naruto said.

"You are hated in your village, how come?" Haku asked.

"Well not everyone hated me there but the one who does is due to the burden that I bear" Naruto said.

"That answer is kind of vague you're not going to give me a clear answered are you?" Haku asked.

"Nope, so do we have a deal or what?" Naruto asked.

"Well it is up to Zabuza-sama since he is the one in charge" Haku said.

"Alright than I shall wait for his answer" Naruto said.

"So you are out here training to get stronger is there someone who is precious to you?" Haku asked.

"Haku look you may be pretty and all and also I'm currently not with anyone right now, not because I can't get anyone but because I'm twelfth and not looking for romance right now, however I have no interest in guys, I'm into girls. So sorry but I can't go out with you but we can still be friend right" Naruto said.

"And beside Naru-Naru is Hin-Hin's boyfriend" Ju said.

"Hin-Hin? He must mean Hinata-chan wait I'm not her boyfriend I told you a minute ago that I wasn't with anyone right now and beside we are just friend" Naruto said.

"For now" Cloud, Tree, Mokona, Ju and Kurama said.

"And how do you know about Hinata-chan, Ju-kun" Naruto asked.

"With the power of friendship?" Ju answered.

"What kinds of person answer a question with a question?" Naruto asked.

"You" everyone but Haku replied.

"What the hell baka I wasn't asking you out" Haku said.

"Then what the hell is all this talk about precious people?" Naruto deadpanned.

"I'm just asking if you have people that are precious to you and that you care a lot about because I believe that when a person has someone important to protect then they can be truly strong" Haku said.

"Oh then yes I do have people that are precious to me both living and dead also I have elemental spirits, animals and chakra being that are also precious to me too" Naruto said.

"**Aw kit I didn't know that you care about me"** Kurama said.

"Did that fox just talk?" Haku asked.

"Yes, yes it did and Kurama you may be an annoying, the incarnation of destruction and the main reason that I am hated in my village but we been together for so long that you kind of grew on me" Naruto said.

**"That may be true but I still view you as a pathetic human"** Kurama said.

"And I still view you as egotist kitsune and the most vain creature in existence" Naruto said.

"**As long we understand each then that fine"** Kurama said.

"You know that you are really weird" Haku said.

"Normalcy is overrated" Naruto said.

"Beside Naru-kun is incapable of being normal" Cloud said.

"I can so be normal" Naruto countered.

"No you can't Naruto-sama" Tree said.

"Definitely not" Mokona said.

"No fair you all against me" Naruto said crying anime tears.

"Arguing with talking dolls and rabbit like creature definitely the strange person I ever met though I wonder how the dolls can talk" Haku said.

"Anyway we need a way to stay in contact so we can finalize the deal, now which one should I give you hmm since you have the Hyoton Kekkei Genkai this one should work" Naruto said as he pull a pale human shape doll in a white kimono holding a fan while sit on top of a snowflake shape platform.

"You're using a doll as a communication device?" Haku asked.

"It not just a doll, now which one of you wants to sever as a contact between them and me?" Naruto asked the ice element that follow Haku.

"I will" one of the ice element said as it possess the new doll.

"Okay what your name?" Naruto asked.

"Snow" the ice element answered.

"Did you just create life?" Haku asked.

"No and considering that I got my power from the Shinigami I don't I am capable of such feat" Naruto said.

"Shinigami?" Haku said.

"Cool can I get a built in friend too?" Ju asked.

"We can talk about that later Ju-kun, now Haku you will take Snow because he can see and speak with all the elemental spirits that normal human or somewhat normal people like you can't. His task will be replaying and taking any message I send to you through my wind elemental allies" Naruto said.

"Why would I take this with me for all I know it has a tracking seal on it?" Haku said.

"Because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of giving people kickass gift also I am currently having my wind elemental allies survey the location of Gatou's base and I can and will be sending one to follow you back so I can know where you are anytime I want. Plus I told you a bit of my ability so it should count for something" Naruto said.

"So you can really see ghosts and spirits any that I would know?" Haku asked.

"Yes your mother's ghost" Naruto said.

"What! How long has she been here?" Ask a surprise Haku.

"Tell him that I have always been with him" the ghost of Haku's mother said standing next to Haku.

"She said that she has always been with you and you know what I just let her tell you Danketsu no Tamashi: Shea no Okurimono (Unity Soul: Share Gift) you have a few hours together" Naruto said.

"Mother" Haku said.

"Haku, my son" she replied as the two shares a mother and son moment together and talk to each for hours.

"Of course you are more than a mere tool seriously you and Zabuza have mess up relationship and I need to knock some sense into you both with my Therapy Jutsu or both you end up dead or worse emo, anyways that jutsu is about to run out soon so finish up what you want to said" Naruto said a few hour later.

"Any know that I always love Haku" she said.

"I love you too" Haku said as the jutsu end and his mother vanishes from sight.

"Thank you Naruto-san but I must leave now and I tell Zabuza-sama about the offer, come along Snow-san" Haku said as he got up and left with Snow following him.

"I still think that he is way too pretty to be a guy" Naruto said as he saw Haku vanishes in the distance.

"**I know what you mean"** The Shinigami said appear right next to him.

"Do you make a habit of randomly dropping in boss?" Naruto asked

"**Well I try not to be random but somehow it doesn't end up working"** He said.

"Hey Shin-Shin-sama how are you?" Ju asked.

"**I'm doing find and how about you?"** He replied.

"I'm doing great anyway I finally found Naru-Naru and I think he the right chosen one" Ju said.

"Chosen one what are you talking about?" Naruto asked.

"Sorry you can't know yet" Ju replied.

"So you know who this kid is, boss? Naruto asked.

"**I do. I also know the reason why he was searching for you"** He said.

"And?" Naruto inquired.

"**And I wouldn't tell you because I not my job beside this fall with the realm of another deity so it is their responsible to inform you when you are really or in this case when he sober up and remember he has a job to do"** He said.

"How many deities have a vested interest in me anyways?" Naruto asked.

"**A few"** The Shinigami replied.

"Great and I bet they are just as eccentric as you are. So what's up why are you here?" Naruto asked.

"**There are reports of certain immortals nearby that are on the hit list"** He replied.

"And you want me to take care of them?" Naruto asked.

"**No, I do want you to take them down eventually but at your current level right now the best you can do is drive them away so that you can fight them another day"** He replied.

"So you came here to warn me about them" Naruto clarify.

"**Yes but also to give you a gift to help you out with your job. Now I need you to take out Mugen no Sora to get this gift"** Shinigami stated.

"What kind of gift?" Naruto asked getting out his scythe.

"**The ability to summon my familiars, beings from the death clan, to aid you in battle and just so you know the only mortals that is granted this right are those who are under my services, which you fall under"** Shinigami replied

"Umm you know that I already have a summoning contact with tigers, after all when Kato made me an honorary cub he give me the summoning contact left by his ancestor to give to brave and noble warrior which he decided that I fit the bill" Naruto said.

"**Of course and that summoning tattoo that they give you on your left arm is proof of that but that doesn't mean you can't have multiply summon. That why I'm asking you to take out your scythe because it is through Mugen no Sora that you will be able to summon my familiars"** Shinigami said.

"Okay but I should asked permission from Byakko first before I do anything. I don't want to do anything that will dishonor them or piss them off or they might cancel the contact or worst make me into a scratching post" Naruto said.

"**True"** Shinigami said.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Technique)" Naruto said as he bit his thumb drawing blood and wiping it on the tattoo on his left arm to summon a giant white tiger with black stripe in samurai like armor with a katana on each of its side carrying a sashimomo (Japanese banners carry by samurai warrior when they go into battle).

"**Kon'nichwa cub, how are you doing today?"** Byakko asked.

"Kon'nichwa Tora Oyabun (Tiger Boss), I'm doing fine and you?" Naruto replied.

"**I'm also doing okay"** Byakko replied.

"Big kitty!" Ju said.

"Not kitty Ju-kun tiger" Naruto said.

"Okay big tiger then!" Ju said.

"**I didn't know you have a child, cub"** Byakko said.

"He's not my kid beside I'm only twelfth in human years. What he is, is some kid that show up and I ended up somehow adopting as a little brother or to tell the truth he ended up adopting me as his big brother even though we only just met yesterday" Naruto said.

"Well I do need a good male role model in my life" Ju said.

"**A half-sane ninja who has an obsession for ramen and explosion is good role model?"** Byakko inquired.

"Compare to others in the ninja world he can do worst" Naruto said.

"**Anyways what reason did you have for summoning me for, cub"** Bayyko asked.

"Well the Shinigami is giving me the chance to be able to summon his familiars and I call you to ask for permission to be able to summon the Shinigami's familiars along with the ability to summon from the tiger clan" Naruto said.

"**Hmm I see no problem with that, actually I was anticipating that this would happen after hearing your life story and how you end up working with the Shinigami himself. I Byakko boss of the tiger clan give you the right to summon from both the tiger clan and the death clan. Now all you need is permission from the other clan then when you summon you must state which clan you are summoning from"** Byakko said.

"**You will have permission to summon my familiar once I place the seals on Mugen no Sora however to get anyone to show up from the death clan once you perform the Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Technique) you must go to the spirit realm make an agreement with them for traditional reason"** Shinigami said.

"The spirit realm how will I get there and what kid agreement do I have to make, do I have to offer my life-force or something?" Naruto asked.

"**No but certain members of the clan might asked for a tribute, usual gift or certain items, others require a test similar to the one you did for becoming the summoner for the tiger clan and others required you to do a certain ritual"** the Shinigami said as he focusing his power on to the scythe causing a seal array to appear on it.

"**As for entering the spirit realm you need to draw and wipe some blood on the seals. This is the same way for summoning my familiars but instead of performing the Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Technique) you need to preformed the jutsu that will open a doorway to the spirit realm which is the Hantaisoku e no Hashi (Bride to the Other Side) and slam you scythe on the ground"** Shinigami said.

"Hantaisoku e no Hashi (Bride to the Other Side) okay what do I do next?" Naruto asked after performing the jutsu causing a glowing magic circle to appear with a throne at the center.

"**You need to sit on the throne at the center of the altar and it will take you there and if anyone what to go with him they have step within the circle"** the Shinigami said.

"**Um I think it is too small for me"** Byakko stated.

"**Just touch the circle and that should do it, oh I almost forgot do you have any kind of coins with you Naruto?"** the Shinigami asked.

"I have some ryo coin and notes with me, why do you need to borrow some money?" Naruto asked.

"**Umm no but the coins will be important for your trip, well later I have business elsewhere"** The Shinigami said as he disappear.

"Okay let get going then" Naruto said as he went to sit down at the throne while the other follow him into the circle and Byakko lie down with his paw on the circle.

"Okay what…" Naruto began but a blinding white light consume them.

_The Spirit Realm_

"…now" Naruto said as the light dies down to reveal a midnight world with luminous tree, will-o-wisp floating around and their body surrounding by a strange halo.

"I guess this is the spirit realm" Naruto said.

"**No duh"** Kurama said behind him in his true nine-tail form.

"Kurama you got big" Naruto said.

"**I guess in this realm you appear in your true form but I still seal inside of you if this means anything"** Kurama said pointing at the chain that attach to him and Naruto.

"That explains why I'm in my human form" Mugen no Sora stated.

"So what do we do now?" Naruto asked.

"Find the keyblade and defeat a Darkside" Cloud said.

"We're in the spirit realm not my heart, Cloud-kun" Naruto said.

"Actually what you have to do next is go to the clan house so you can make agreements with Shinigami-sama's familiars" a hooded man on the flying boat said descending down to them.

"Who are you?" Naruto asked.

"I'm Charon, the ferryman and one of Shinigami-sama's familiars and I shall take you to the clan house" Charon said.

"On that boat I don't think Kurama or Byakko would fit" Naruto said.

"There they shall stay in that form until we get there" Charon said with a snap of finger both Kurama and Byakko are in their chibi form.

"Okay let go" Naruto said getting on the boat.

"Umm you have to pay me to get there and you should also know that you can summon me anytime to aid you from now on however you have to pay in order for me to do any task you ask of me, that shall be the agreement between us" Charon said.

"A businessman huh, aright how much do you want?" Naruto asked.

"A few coin should do" Charon said.

"Coin you don't take any paper money?" Naruto asked.

"No because of tradition I only take coins" Charon stated.

"Okay here but I got to wonder, what do you do with them?" Naruto asked.

"Collect them or get drink and snack from vending machine, it help that I have the ability to magical exchange one form of coin currency to another" Charon answered.

"So I guess you would be my first summon that I can summon from the death clan" Naruto said.

"Yep now let head out" Charon said as the boat floated away with them on it.

* * *

><p>Omake:<p>

~Academy Days Naruto 101 Ways of Getting Detention: Number 31 to 40 I Thought It Would Make Me a Better Ninja~

_Number 31 Traditional Ninja Dress In Black_

"Naruto, why are you dress up in that outfir?" Iruka asked.

"How do you know if am Naruto, what proof do you have that I'm him?" Naruto said in a traditional ninja suit that was all back with a face mask.

"Because you sound like him and is sitting down at his desk" Iruka said.

"Well I could have been an enemy and assassinated him and at the same time impersonated him" Naruto said in somewhat a deeper voice.

"What kind of enemy would do all of that and come to the academy, only you Naruto who do something this dumb and make up such a lame excuse for the fun of it" Iruka said.

"Hey it not dumb" Naruto countered.

"So you finally admitted that you are Naruto huh?" Iruka asked.

"Hai" Naruto replied.

"So explain why?" Iruka asked.

"We are ninja, well ninja in training, but currently our fellow ninjas seem to forget about the way of the ninja. So in order to remind ourselves and other of the way of the ninja I chose to dress up in the traditional way of the ninja of the old days. This outfit represents the true embodiment of a ninja, a deadly warrior of stealth and speed that strike from the shadow. So by wearing this I am on the path of better myself as a ninja" Naruto said.

"Okay that a nice speech and all but mind telling us the real reason" Iruka said.

"Today is laundry day and this was the only thing I have to wear" Naruto said.

"What do you have that in the first place?" Iruka asked.

"It was for the ninja parade last week" Naruto replied.

"There was a no parade last week" Iruka stated.

"A true ninja is invisible to the world so since you didn't see any ninja during the parade we know now that it was a success" Naruto said.

"You making this up to waste time so that I won't any time to assign homework" Iruka stated.

"Hai" Naruto replied.

"Detention for being a baka" Iruka said.

"Hai" Naruto said dejectedly.

_Number 32 Tap-Dancing Pineapples_

"1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3 come move those leg" Naruto said still in his traditional ninja outfit and will be for the rest of this omake while a trio of pineapples were tap-dancing their fruity hearts away.

"Naruto does these pineapples have legs?" Iruka asked.

"Hai" Naruto replied.

"And it is tap-dancing?" Iruka asked again.

"Hai" Naruto replied.

"I would asked how but right now I'm more concern with why, so Naruto why are these pineapples tap-dancing?" Iruka asked.

"To better myself as a ninja who is currently a ninja in training" Naruto replied.

"How does this make you a better ninja?" Iruka asked.

"Because a tap-dancing pineapple is a strange sight to see and it will distract the enemy long enough for the pineapple to tap-dance close to them and set off the explosive tags on them" Naruto said.

"That actually made sense, it makes a good enough sense that it can be the reason you are doing this so tell me the real reason" Iruka said.

"Okay the true is I found a supplier who was able to provide enough pineapple to make some Hawaiian style pizza however I ended up order too many pineapples and must find a use for the left over or else they will rot soon and I end up wasting them. So since I been studying seal I decided to created one to make pineapple tap-dance for the heck of it" Naruto said.

"You have detention for doing the strangest thing I have ever seen so far" Iruka said.

"Oh I'm capable of doing stranger thing than this" Naruto replied.

"I know you can anyways they really have good footwork" Iruka said.

"Thanks" Naruto replied.

_Number 33 Carrots Doing the Mambo_

"Okay swing those hip you orange abomination that I created" Naruto said as two carrots with arm and legs did the mambo.

"You're creating dancing carrots now?" Iruka asked.

"Yes, I wanted to see which dance better fruit or vegetable" Naruto said.

"The truth is that you just didn't want to eat your veggie" Iruka said.

"Well yeah they are icky and stuff" Naruto said.

"Naruto you have to eat your veggie or you won't grow up healthy" Iruka said.

"No and you can't make me" Naruto said.

"You will and if you don't I will shove them in your mouth, now stop finding weird ways to play with your food and eat them" Iruka said.

"You can't…" Naruto began but was cut off when Iruka shove a carrot in his mouth. The carrot was dancing in his mouth not from the flavor but because it was one of the carrot that was doing the mambo.

"There that wasn't so bad oh and you have detention to remind you to eat your vegetable" Iruka said.

"M mon't meat mem(I won't eat them)" Naruto mumbled due to that fact that the carrot was still in his mouth.

"Good you learn your lesson" Iruka said misinterpreted what he said.

_Number 34 Mission Impossible_

"Target acquired" Naruto said suspended above his desk during class while the mission impossible theme song was playing in the background.

"A little lower, a little lower, a litter…" Naruto said to the Tree and Cloud who was operating the pulley that was holding him.

'BANG'

"Too low" Naruto said as he crashes down on his desk.

"Naruto what in Kami name are you doing now?" Iruka yelled.

"Infiltrating this place, ninja styles" Naruto said.

"You go to this school what the point of doing this?" Iruka asked.

"Because all the cool ninjas are doing it" Naruto replied.

"And if all the 'cool ninjas' jump off the bridge would you do it too?" Iruka asked.

"Hell yeah than I can be as skill and cool as them all" Naruto replied.

"Naruto you have detention so you can learn when to and when not to follow the example of others" Iruka said.

"Okay but can I go and jump off a bridge first I hear all the cool ninja are doing it?" Naruto asked.

"NO! Didn't you pay attention to anything I just said?" Iruka asked as he smacked Naruto's head with a book.

"Yes, it was something about making smarts choice and not follow other like a sheep but I don't see how it is related to jumping off a bridge" Naruto said.

"Naruto I'm really worry about you sometime, I really do" Iruka said.

_Number 35 Parachuting_

"GERONIMO!" Naruto yelled as jump off of the Hokage Monument and half way down he pull the string of his parachute to open the chute so he can slowly descended to the ground.

"Naruto what did I tell you about jump off of the Hokage Monument?" Iruka asked.

"Not to do it without adult supervision" Naruto replied.

"I never told you that" Iruka said.

"Well you should because jumping off of high places is really stupid and dangerous, I was lucky that I have this parachute with me" Naruto said.

"Detention Naruto and where the hell did you get that parachute anyways?" Iruka asked.

"From a secret abandon ANBU base" Naruto replied.

"You broke into a secret abandon ANBU base" Iruka said with a 'you are in so much trouble' tone.

"No, no of course I didn't. I sneaked in as the ANBUs were leaving" Naruto said.

"I thought you said it was a secret abandon ANBU base?" Iruka asked.

"I consider it abandon when some of them abandon the place for lunch" Naruto replied.

"They didn't abandon it, they were on their lunch break, you baka" Iruka said.

"Same different" Naruto said.

"It not, it really not the same different" Iruka said.

_Number 36 Hiding In the Shadow_

"Uzumaki, Naruto" Iruka said as he took roll for class.

"Here Iruka" Naruto said stepping out of the shadow in the back of the room on the far right corner then stepping back to it.

"Naruto why are you not in your seat?" Iruka asked.

"Because I am honing my skill as ninja by hiding in the shadow" Naruto said stepping out of the corner behind Iruka and stepping back again.

"Naruto will you stop doing that?" Iruka asked.

"I can't because it is dangerous for a ninja to be out in the light due to a high chance of being killed by the enemy when they are out in the open. Ninja are like vampire except that ninja are alive, almost all don't drink blood and they defiantly don't sparkle" Naruto said poking his head out of a tile he open from the ceiling.

"Sparkle?" Iruka asked.

"Yeah it was in one of the book that one of teme fan-girls left behind in class" Naruto said poking his head from underneath his desk.

"You read that book?" Iruka asked.

"It was during the detention when your punishment was for me to sit still in my desk and do something quite, it was torture and I was so bored that I have nothing better to do but read that book" Naruto said appearing behind Iruka on his left side.

"I'm sorry?" Iruka said.

"You should be but after reading that book I began to wonder if teme here is a vampire or not" Naruto said appearing behind Iruka on his right side.

"Why would you think I am a vampire dobe" Sasuke asked.

"Well you are really pale, brooded a lot and girls irrationally fall for you even when you are cold to them" Naruto said appearing behind Sasuke.

"Please I am way better looking than Edward and beside I'm for team Jacob, werewolf kickass" Sasuke said.

"Okay that is deeply disturbing" Naruto said stepping out of some random person shadow.

"No I can't be Sasuke, you must join team Edward" half of Sasuke's fan-girls said.

"No he made the right choice for join team Jacob" the rest of Sasuke's fan-girls said.

"Edward"

"Jacob" The fan-girls argued.

"Naruto you have detention for starting this meaningless argument" Iruka said.

"What! They start their argument when teme told us the disturbing information about himself. Beside I'm not even a fan of that series, I don't really care what supernatural being a flaky girl chose to be her lover. Beside I'm a Harry Potter fan, you know Hogwarts for life" Naruto said stepping out from behind the door.

"Yeah but it kind of suck that Sirius got killed" Iruka said.

"I know who J.K. Rowling thinks she is Kami" Naruto said somehow sticking his head out of Iruka's desk drawer.

"For the Harry Potter universe that is written by her she is" Iruka said.

"Oh yeah just like Masashi Kishimoto is Kami for the real Naruto universe" Naruto said poking his head out of the window from outside.

"Wait was that?" Iruka asked.

"What was what?" Naruto asked poking his head out of the loose and open wooden board on the floor.

"About what you said about…on second thought it might be better for me if I don't know" Iruka said.

_Number 37 Smoke Bomb_

"Okay everyone quiet down and find a seat so we can begin class" Iruka said.

"Hai" Naruto said who threw a smoke bomb down on the ground and once the smoke was clear he disappear from the entrance of the classroom only for smoke to erupt from his desk and once that clear he appear there sitting down with his arm cross.

"Okay, let began" Iruka said ignoring what happen so hopefully he won't have to deal with that.

_A Few Hours Later_

"Okay lunch time" Iruka said.

"Hai" Naruto said as he threw the smoke bomb again and once again disappearing to appearing in a puff of smoke outside on a tree branch.

"Don't ask, don't ask and maybe he stop" Iruka muttered.

_At The End of Lunch_

"Hai" Naruto said appearing at his desk in a puff of smoke.

'I guess I have asked him about that soon' Iruka thought.

_At The End of Class_

"Okay Naruto why are you using smoke bomb to appear and disappear today?" Iruka said when Naruto was about to use his smoke bomb again.

"Oh because I saw a ninja appear and disappearing in puff of smoke and thought it would be fun to be able to do it too" Naruto said as he threw the smoke bomb and disappear again.

"Damn it he didn't pay attention when I told him to think for himself and not follow the bad example of others but at least he practicing his jutsu, however I wonder where and from who he learn the Shunshin no Jutsu (Body Flicker Technique) from" Iruka wondered.

"Wait there is an actual jutsu that allow you to disappear and appear in a puff of smoke?" Naruto asked appearing in a puff of smoke.

"Actually Shunshin no Jutsu (Body Flicker Technique) is high-speed movement jutsu that make it look like you are teleported but you are actually moving really fast and when a ninja do it something smoke appear" Iruka said.

"High speed movement jutsu, got to learn that jutsu so I can get to Ichiraku fast which mean less time getting there and more time eating ramen" Naruto said.

"Wait if you doing Shunshin no Jutsu (Body Flicker Technique) then how are you appearing and disappearing in puff of smokes?" Iruka asked.

"Oh by throwing smoke bomb around and running really fast at inhuman speed without using chakra enhancement" Naruto replied.

"How can you run at that speed without enhancing your leg with chakra?" Iruka asked.

"With the power of ramen, anyway I have to go and learned the Shunshin no Jutsu (Body Flicker Technique) so that I can get to Ichiraku faster from now on and spend more time eating ramen" Naruto said disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"Learn a jutsu so he can spend more time eating ramen he so getting detention for that" Iruka said.

"Hai" Naruto said appearing and disappear in a puff of smoke.

_Number 38 Dramatic Stare_

"Uzumaki, Naruto" Iruka said as he took roll.

"…" Naruto turn from staring out of the window to stare intensity at Iruka with a look that seems like he waiting to make the first move in a battle.

"Here" Naruto replied a few minute later.

"Okay what are you doing now?" Iruka asked.

"…" Naruto stare at Iruka with such vigor like he is anticipating his next move.

"What are you talking about sensei?" Naruto asked.

"The whole staring then pausing then speaking thing, what are you doing?" Iruka asked.

"…" Naruto stare at Iruk with a look like he found The Ultimate Question to the answer 42, which he didn't.

"I am practicing my battle stare that professional ninja do in battle" Naruto said.

"Have you been watching those classic martial art movies again?" Iruka asked.

"…" Naruto stared with a look like he wondering if he forgot turn off the oven stove or not.

"Yes" Naruto replied.

"Okay you have detention for this week because I don't like the look you are given me" Iruka said.

"…" Naruto stare with a confuse look on his face.

"What look?" Naruto asked.

"The same look that a homeless prophet give me on a mission where I and my team experience strange occurrence that we will never talk about ever again" Iruka said.

"…" Naruto stare at Iruka like his brain has entered the ice age.

"Okay" Naruto replied.

_Number 39 Silent But Deathly_

"Uzumaki, Naruto" Iruka said as he took roll.

"…" Naruto give a look that said 'here'.

"Okay what are you doing now?" Iruka asked.

"…" Naruto give a look that said 'I practice being silent like an elite ninja'.

"So you're capable of being quite when you need to huh?" Iruka asked.

"…" Naruto give a look that said 'Yes I can but most of the time I chose not to be, anyways how do you know the non-talk look language?'

"I have a friend who is a mute, anyways you have detention this week" Iruka said.

"…" Naruto give a look that said 'For what reason'.

"For all the time I want you to be quite but you didn't" Iruka said.

"…" Naruto give a look that said 'The one time I chose to be quite in class I get into trouble'.

Number 40 Straw Dummy

"Uzumaki, Naruto" Iruka said as he took roll.

The only replied was a straw dummy that was dress in the same black outfit that Naruto was wearing throughout this omake with a sign that said 'Here'.

"Damn it Naruto skipping class again, you are getting detention for this and how long has that been there?" Iruka asked.

The straw dummy now holds a sign that said 'Before class began'.

"How does it change signs?" Iruka asked.

The straw dummy now holds a sign that said 'Ancient ninja secret'.

"Okay straw dummy where is the real Naruto at?" Iruka asked.

The straw dummy now holds a sign that said 'I became self-aware and eliminated the original to take his place so I'm Naruto now mwah ha ha ha ha'.

"…" Iruka stare at the straw dummy dumbfound.

The straw dummy now holds a sign that said 'Psyche, I'm only kidding the real Naruto is at Ichiraku eating ramen'.

"You don't mind if I go and check?" Iruka said walking back away slowly.

The straw dummy now holds a sign that said 'No go ahead and tell the original to hurry so that he can give me the mask with me eating ramen, I kind of getting hungry.'

"Okay I just go now" Iruka said.

The straw dummy now holds a sign that said 'Okay, goodbye'.

A/N: Sayonara no Jutsu


	12. Chapter 12 Bad News Is Best Taken with A

Land of Wave and Zubuza's Sword that Can't Cut through Reinforce Rice Paper Arc:

Chapter 12~Bad News Is Best Taken with A Full Stomach or Was That Alcohols~

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me nor dose any of the other random reference in this story

"normal Speech"

'thoughts'

**Demon and other uber being**

Different language 

_The Spirit Realm_

"Spirit Realm the final frontier, final in the sense that you come here when your life has finally ended. These are the voyages of the passengers on Charon's boat," Naruto said sitting in the front seat of the boat looking out, as he and the other travel above the land of the spirit realm.

"How come Shinigami-sama always pick the weird ones to be our summoner. Well consider what Shinigami-sama is like and most of the beings in the clan are like it should be expected," Charon sighed.

"Hey ferryman after I meet the clan members can I go and visit my parents, Ero-seishin, Hikari-hime, Hashi-ojiisan and Tobi-ojiisan?" Naruto asked.

"No, you can't because they are all up in Heaven, even Nanashi it turns out that his perverted ways were not bad enough to send him to the other place. Well that not true actually your father could be there or he could be at the office doing paperwork for Shinigami-sama or somewhere here in the Spirit Realm doing some manual labor," Charon replied.

"Wait the Spirit Realm is different from the Afterlife?" Naruto asked.

"Yes the Spirit Realm is different from the Afterlife. Let me give you a brief introduction to the kind of realms that we and Shinigami-sama work in. Frist there is the Physical or Natural World that the living, you, existed in. Next there is Afterlife, Heaven and Hell, where souls go when they move on. Then there is the Spirit Realm which is the mirror reflection of the natural world where the vast majority of earthbound spirits live in and also where the doorway to Purgatory, the place between life and death, is at," Charon said pointing at the diagram that appear out of thin air.

"Oh I thought that I could see how they are doing right now but I guess I can't," Naruto said.

"Well I can take and give you message from them after all I can travel between those realms, it is the advantage of being the ferryman for souls of the departed," Charon said.

"Really thanks," Naruto said.

"No problem I am one of your summons after all so as long as you pay me I will do the job you ask of me," he said.

"You and your coins," Naruto said.

"Hey, I have to followed tradition now don't I," Charon said.

_The Death Clan Compound _

The boat descended to the ground near the large building that was the Dearth Clan compound. The visitors were greeted by the sight of a huge house size three-headed dog that guards the colossal door behind it.

"Ah Cerberus inform the others to gather at the town center so that they can meet our new summoner," Charon said.

"So you are the one that is chosen by Shinigami-sama huh," all three of head of Cerberus said.

"It was more of an accident than a choice anyways I'm guessing you are a member of the Death Clan, so what kind of agreement do I have to make with you in order for you to show up when I summon you?" Naruto asked.

"None I automatically aid anyone who is chosen by Shinigami-sama, even if it by accident, in any ways that I can. My skills are in the field of offense especially against large opponent or a group of smaller opponents. Now let's go and meet everyone else," the center head of Cerberus said opening the door.

The group arrived at the town center to be greeted by all assortments of creatures from the Death Clan.

"Okay now that everyone is here meets our new summoner, Naruto. We will now go around and each representative will tell him about your group and what agreement he can make with them," Charon said.

"I shall go first, my name is Jack and I'm the alpha of the Hellhound pack. We are skill in tracking and hunting. For the right to have us aid you in battle we request that you to summon us to the Physical World so we can roam it freely from time to time," Jack a jet black dog with pale white bone armor, blue flame coming out of it mouth and glowing blue flaming for eyes said.

"Okay I'm fine with that besides having a pack of specter dogs will probably freak people more than the time that I have Kato walk with me through town," Naruto said.

"You are mischief one aren't you, anyway my name is Phantom leader of the herd of the Pale Steed. We provide transportation. Our required are the same as Jack," Phantom a skeleton horse with bat like wing said.

"Sure coming into battle with you guys would be epic," Naruto said.

"Same with us, I am Night leader of Death's Messenger. We specialize in illusion and act as messenger bird," said Night a black bird that has shadow dancing around it.

"Greeting Naruto-sama I am Shade the leader of the Grave's Guardian. We specialize in defense and creating barrier. As the name suggested we guard the grave of the dead so for our arrangement we request you to summon us when you visit a graveyard and burial ground in order for us to bless the place," Shade a dark specter with a white mask said as he took a bow.

"I'm Alexander one of the Fallen, we are warrior who has not yet find peace because we didn't die a warrior's death. So until we fight enough battles to earn a warrior's death we shall remind to aid you in battle. The required we ask of you is to spar with us from time to time to test ours skills as well as your," Alexander a skeleton warrior in armor said.

"And finally me, I'm Soul head of the Death Dragon and the powerhouse of the Death Clan. The required for me and my kind is that you pass our test in order for us to assist you," Soul, the Biju size skeleton dragon with blue flame coursing through it body said.

"What kind of test?" Naruto asked.

"I will look at your soul and see if it meets our standards. Now do I have your permission to do so?" Soul asked.

"Go ahead," Naruto said as Soul stare at him with his growling blue eyes.

"I see that you endure many hardship and burden yet you don't let them drag you down. You are a fierce warrior at heart but bear a kind heart too. Also you are really weird, have a strange obsession for ramen, prank and bit for red bean soup and for the most part you are either half sane or half insane, depend on how you look at it, but you are good person by ninja standard anyways. So all thing considering I find you are worthy in my eyes so me and my kind will aid you in battle," Soul said.

"Great I can't wait to summon you all," Naruto said.

"Yes it seems like we befriend some good allies here," Byakko said.

"Anyway take this time to get to know each other then you have to go back to physical world," Charon said.

_Back at the Physical World_

"I'm alive!" Naruto exclaimed coming back to the Physical World.

"You were never dead," Ju said.

"I consider out-of-body experience or astral projection to be half dead so what I said counts," he stated.

"Dobe there you are I brought you some breakfast since…it that a giant tiger?" Sasuke ask coming into the clearing.

"Well I said it is a titan size tiger but if you can make an argument for your opinion I might take your side and go with giant," Naruto said.

"It's a summons isn't it?" Sasuke asked.

"Well unless there are a race of titan size tiger running around that I don't know about then yeah it is a summon," Naruto said.

"And it's your right?" he asked again.

"I didn't conceive him but I'm his summoner. So do you want a summons too?" Naruto asked.

"You're going to let me sign the tiger contract?" Sasuke asked.

"Hell no tigers are my thing, I was thinking of chickens they will definitely complement with your hairstyle," Naruto said.

"Yeah your hair might cause some problem like you getting eaten by us because we mistake you for an actually chicken," Byakko said.

"Lay off my hair and I'm not going to choose chickens as my summons," Sasuke said eye twitching.

"Fine let me check my storage warehouse to see what I have, Mokona key please," Naruto said.

"Okay," Mokona said as he open his mouth and a keyblade shoot out of it.

"Okay let's kick some heartless butt," Naruto said striking a pose with the keyblade. "Sorry anyways 'Naruto's Storage Warehouse'," he said pointing the keyblade as a beam of light shot out of the tip of it causing a door to appeared.

"What is that?" Sasuke asked.

"A door to a subspace universe that hold an entire city that link to me by Mokona, it is something that I was given as a gift for working with Mokona here," Naruto said.

"Why don't I get a key that open a door to a subspace universe that hold an entire city," Sasuke muttered.

"Because you are too emo to be the hero of the story," Mokona said.

"I'm not emo and what this about being the hero of the story?" he asked.

"Something that you do not understand because you do not understand nor believe in the fourth wall theory," Mokona said.

"Stop trying to define the universe and let get going," Naruto said as he and the rest of the gangs went through the door.

_Subspace Universe's, Also Known as BOB1, Storage Warehouse District _

"Why is your subspace universe called BOB1?" Sasuke asked.

"Don't know asks Mokona," Naruto said.

"Hey why didn't you answer the why question with 'because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of' things you always do?" Sasuke asked.

"Because it stop being funny a long time ago and if Ero-seishin doesn't like the fact that I stop doing it he can sue me," Naruto said.

_Heaven_

"Okay my almost corrupted pupil stops following rule number one that I asked of him so he stop answering why questions with the 'because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of' thing so now I must hired some angel lawyer and sue him," Nanashi exclaimed.

"Ero-baka stop being an idiot and let him be," Hikari said smacking Nanashi in the back of the head, "beside that joke stop being funny a long time ago."

"Fine but I'm still going to corrupt him from here," Nanashi said.

"Fine but if he end up a super pervert like you I will re-kill you then you will be re-send to heaven so that I can beat you up for eternity. I wonder why you are not getting kick out of here for corrupting the innocents," Hikari said.

"Oh because it will be really boring without him here and beside he not doing much harm here," Kami said.

"Can I still beat him for being a pervert?" Hikari asked.

"Sure we encourage it," Kami said.

"Naruto you are thinking perverted thought, Naruto you are thinking perverted thought…" Nanashi said send corrupting wave to his pupil which earn him a beating from Hikari.

_BOB1's Storage Warehouse District_

"Damn it Ero-seishin stop trying to corrupt me it hard enough with me going through puberty," Naruto yell to the heaven.

"What was that about?" Sasuke asked.

"Nothing you want to know about, anyways why did we name our subspace universe BOB1, Mokona?" Naruto asked as they enter through the door that was label Armory.

"Because Steven1 was taken and also it was too long of a name," Mokona replied.

"That make no sense what so ever," Sasuke said.

"We're ninjas we aren't required to make sense. Anyhow let me stop by somewhere first before we get you a summons," Naruto said as head through another door label Seal Tags and Scrolls.

"How big is this place?" Sasuke asked.

"Don't know. Ah I was right, it is here," Naruto said as he picks a pack of tags from a cabinet from a shelves label Explosive Tags.

"What are they?" Sasuke asked.

"Special explosive tags called 'Meteor Rain Bomb', want some?" Naruto asked.

"Sure but what do they do?" Sasuke asked.

"Make it rain explosive meteors like fireball. I really need to take an inventory of this place because I almost forgot about these tags I made. Okay let pick a summons for you," Naruto said as the left that room and head toward the shelves label Summon Scrolls.

"How did you get so many summoning scrolls?" Sasuke asked.

"Bets, fallen shinobis, various places around the village, deals with lost summons also the lost and found bin," Naruto answered. "Now which summon to give you chicken, squirrel, rabbit, bear, lion, mouse oh I know hawk."

"So I just have to sign the hawk contract and get to summon them?" Sasuke asked.

"Well after you sign the contract you are require either pass their test or do something for them in order to be able to summon them," Naruto said.

"What do I have to summon hawks?" Sasuke asked.

"Don't know let get out, have you sign it and summon one to find out," Naruto said.

_Later Outside _

"This breakfast sandwich that Tsunami made is really good," Naruto said eating on top of Byakko's head.

"You should ask her for the recipe," Byakko said.

"I think I will," Naruto replied.

"There you are Naruto we were…um are you sitting on top of a titan size tiger?" Kakashi asked coming into the clearing along with Sakura and team ten.

"Hah I told you he was a titan size tiger, take that teme," Naruto shouted.

"Speaking of Sasuke, where is he?" Kakashi asked.

"Well…" Naruto began.

"NOW IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME BAKAAAAAAA!" Sasuke yelled as he zoomed by on a hawk that was flying at high speed in the air.

"Oh he is nearby _'hanging'_ out with a new friend he made," Naruto said.

"I see," Kakashi said.

"Oh my god Sasuke-kun got kidnapped by a hawk and he going to get eaten," Ino and Sakura said together.

"Frist of all it is Kami, if you going to commit blasphemy pick the deity that you worship. Secondly the hawk wouldn't eat teme because he all emo and emo don't taste good from what I hear," Naruto said.

"I AM NOT EMO!" Sasuke said zooming by again.

"Baka! Sasuke-kun doesn't taste bad he is quite delicious," Sakura said defending her crush.

"Hmm I was joking about the whole raping thing I didn't know you actually committed the act already," Naruto said.

"I didn't mean it like that, I was just defending him," Sakura said.

"Sure you were," Naruto said not convinced.

"Um so that tiger you on is your summon right?" Kakashi asked.

"Yep," Naruto replied.

"And the hawk is Sasuke?" Kakashi asked again.

"Well if he doesn't fall in the next few minute and live then yes," Naruto said.

"Where did you two get your contact from?" Kakashi asked.

"I got my from my tiger friend Kato while teme got his from me which I found, well more like it found me because I got it when it fell from the sky and hit me on the head when I was walking around one day," Naruto said.

"Okay forgetting the weirdness that is your life any reason why you just handed Sasuke a summoning contract?" Kakashi asked.

"Truth be told, I thought it would be entertain to give him one and it is," Naruto said.

"Okay kid you pass, I will tell the others about you," the hawk said vanishing in a puff of smoke.

"Never again," Sasuke said with spiral for his eyes as he pass out, causing his two fan-girls to go and check on him.

"Well I have to get going too," Byakko said vanishing into a puff of smoke too.

"Well once Sasuke wake up we can head to the bridge and take turn guarding or training," Kakashi said pulling out his book to read.

_Zabuza's Hideout_

"Okay let me get this straight you met the annoying blond hair idiot with a death wish who is one of Kakashi's students in the wood?" Zabuza asked.

"Yes Zabuza-sama," Haku replied.

"He somehow found out that you were the fake hunter-nin, that you have the Hyoton Kekkei Genkai and that you are working for me but instead of killing you, he let you go?" He asked again.

"Hai," Haku replied.

"But not before warning us that Gatou is going to betray us and offer to aid us to overthrow the fourth Mizukage if we let the bridge builder live, help them eliminate Gatou and let him expand his business in Kirigakure," Zabuza stated.

"Un-huh," Haku replied.

"Did I miss anything?" Zabuza asked.

"Other than the fact that he has special powers from the Shinigami, let me meet my dearly departed mother and can see spirits and into our souls?" Haku asked.

"Yes but I going to ignore those things for now because they are too crazy to deal with right now," Zabuza said.

"Well as I was leaving I think I hear him said something about me being too pretty to be a guy also I felt a chakra spike and when I turn around I saw a titan size tiger standing around where I met him," Haku said.

"Titan size tiger might be his summon and if he able to summon something that size, it might pose a problem if we have to fight him. As for the pretty comment I quite agree sometime I have to remind myself that you are a guy, you really need a haircut and wear more manly clothes. I know you like to cross-dress and all, I have no problem with that but it doesn't hurt to wear something more masculine," Zabuza said.

"I don't like to cross-dress it just that I don't mind," Haku said gritting his teeth.

"Anyway the kid must be really insane if he willing to negotiate with someone that was trying to kill him and me for that matter if I going to accept the deal," Zabuza said.

"From what the wind elementals told me of him he borderline insane," Snow said who was being hold by Haku.

"Haku what the hell is that?" Zabuza asked.

"It is a doll Zabuza-sama," Haku replied.

"I can see that but why and how is it talking?" Zabuza asked.

"Well the kid, Naruto-san, give me this doll here for Snow-san, who is an ice elemental, to possess so that we can contact and communicate with Naruto-san through him," Haku said.

"I either need more bed rest or a drink, maybe both," Zabuza sighed. "Anyway why did you bring it with you here, Haku? For all we know it can have a tracking seal on it or might be a trap," Zabuza said.

"Well he mention something about his wind elemental allies tailing us and scanning the area so worry about a tracking seals is pointless since he can find us easy," Haku said.

"As for me being a trap that is ridiculous because the wind elementals told me that if he wanted you two to be dead this place would have been level already," Snow said.

"What make your windy friends think the kid can kill us that easily?" Zabuza inquired.

"Something about a thousand upon thousand Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique), Bunshin Daibakuha (Shadow Clone Explosion) and his strange obsession with blowing things up," Snow said.

"They're kidding right?" Zabuza asked.

"Nope they are surprise that he hasn't destroy a village yet the biggest thing he level so far is an average size bandit's fortress," Snow said.

"Well not being the enemy of someone who can created limitless number of bomb seem beneficial to my health," Zabuza mused not liking the idea of being blow up, "but how do we know that he can back up his word of financing our cause."

"He is the owner of Happy Wacky Snack amount other industry," Snow said.

"What Happy Wacky Snack the maker of my favorite shrimp flavor Seafood Paradise Chip," Zabuza said.

"And Minty Mint Chocolate Chip Cookies Zabuza-sama we can't let anything happen to him or our favorite snack food will disappear," Haku cried.

"If Naruto-sama every wanted to take over the world it would be really easy for him to do consider how much power his snack food has," Snow deadpanned. "This feeling, damn it they're here. Hey you two it look like Gatou hired two really dangerous people and they are coming here. It is best for both of us if they don't know about Naruto-sama so I will pretend be a doll until they are gone or until I think otherwise."

"Snow-san what do you…" Haku began but was interrupted by the door opening as Gatou and others enter.

"Ah gentleman after your failure attempt and the loss of two of your men I thought it was necessary to hired a few helping hand," Gatou said.

"We don't need help from any other ninja," Zabuza said.

"Good because I am nothing as savage or as ignorant as you ninja are. I Dr. Victor Von Frankenstein am a man of science," a goggle man with stiches all over his face and body wearing a white lab coat said as he took a bow. "And you Momochi Zabuza Kirigakure no Kijin (Demon of the Hidden Mist) are a fine specimen, I really want to dissect you in order to study every aspect of you," he with a grin that send chill down their spine. "Though not as interesting as your Hyoton user friend here and that doll he is holding," he said as he stare intently at Snow, "make him look quite girly more so than he already is."

"And we are not imperfect as you human are," said one of the five cybernetic robotic samurai in a distorted voice.

"We are better than you," said the armor one to the left that just spoke.

"We are perfection," said the one to the right that spoke first.

"We are Legion," the one on the far left.

"For we are many," said the last one.

"Now I want you all to go to the bridge as soon as possible and finish the bridge builder once and for all," Gatou said as he and the new hired left.

"The one with the stiches is really creepy and why were the armor ones speaking as if they were one person?" Haku asked.

"Because they are," Snow said.

"Snow-san, do you know who they are?" Haku asked.

"The question you should ask is not who but what for you can't consider those abominations human after how they defile life and the natural order," Snow spat.

"The doll is right, asking what they are is the right question and here I thought they were nothing more than urban myth, ghost stories that are told to frighten little genins. For it to be standing there right in front of you is unnerving," Zabuza said. "As for your question Haku the one with the stiches is Victor Von Frankenstein also known as The Mad Scientist and The Harvester of Body Parts. The ones in the armor is Legion known as The Undying Army or The Immortal Army. And from what I can tell they are defiantly not here because of Gatou money"

"They are immoral and immortal being that steals the life force of other, I will have one of the wind elementals inform Naruto-sama of them," Snow said.

"What can the kid do about those things?" Zabuza said.

"Most likely not much but Shinigami choose him for a reason well somewhat chooses him but the only one with a chance to deal with them is him," Snow said.

"Something tells me that I won't have much of a choice and mostly likely I will end up taking the kid's deal," Zabuza muttered.

"You making it sound like it a bad thing," Snow stated.

"And you claim he is borderline insane," Zabuza shot back.

"You make a good point there," Snow said.

_At the Bridge_

"'Achoo', damn it someone is taking about me behind my back again, anyways yahoo! I finally did it without crash or hitting a tree," Naruto said pumping his fist in the air while flying in the air. "Bow before my awesomeness land walkers for I am The Sky Lord. Now since I'm up here there only one thing to do. 'I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky, I think about it every night and day, Spread my wings and fly a…' ah." (A/n: Disclaimer: The song 'I Believe I Can Fly' sings by R Kelly does not belong to me) Naruto screamed as he dodged a bolt of lightning.

"Dobe no singing," Sasuke said on the ground charging his chokuto with electricity.

"You're just jealous that I have a better singing voice than you," Naruto stated.

"…"

"You are aren't you," Naruto exclaimed.

"Well who would have expected you of all people can sing," Sasuke said.

"He does have point there you really have good vocals," Kakashi said.

"I been taking singing lesson from Cloud-kun for some time now," Naruto said.

"Those lesson were really worth it and we got two hit albums from the band we were in to prove it," Choji said.

"Ah yes one of the crazy shenanigans we got ourselves into," Naruto reminisced.

"You mean one of the crazy shenanigans you got us into because you were bored. Do you remember how troublesome that one Christmas misadventure was?" Shikamaru stated.

"What happen?" Ino asked.

"That story is for another time anyways it not my fault that I have the attention span of a goldfish, ooh that cloud look like a bunny rabbit," Naruto said. "Man being up here is really amazing you can see so much of the world, I wonder if this is why Kurama nii-san true form is so big," Naruto pondered.

"I told you to stop calling nii-san baka-kit," Kurama telepathically reply from the ground. "And I'm big because I am a living mass of chakra not because I like the view I get from being that size."

"Yep Kurama nii-san true form is so big is because of the view," Naruto said.

"Don't go and decide on how I think baka-kit," Kurama growled.

"Sorry to bother your brotherly bonding moment Naru-kun," Cloud said.

"We are neither bonding nor brothers," Kurama growled.

"But I just received a message from Snow-kun," Cloud said ignoring Kurama protested.

"Okay what the message?" Naruto asked.

"Snow-kun encounters the immortals that Shin-sama warns us about," Cloud replied.

"Really who are they?" Naruto asked.

"The Mad Scientist Victor Von Frankenstein and The Undying Army Legion," Cloud replied.

"Well crap this is really bad. Oh well better tell everyone after dinner because bad news is better taken with a full stomach or was that alcohols," Naruto mused.

_Tazuna's House_

"Okay now that everyone has eaten it was be easier to digest what I have to tell you next," Naruto said.

"What is it?" Kakashi asked.

"I just receive some bad news from Snow-kun, the spirit that I send to be our contact with Zabuza so we can strike a deal with him to get him on our side to take out Gatou," Naruto said.

"When did you do this?" Kakashi asked.

"This morning when I met the fake hunter-nin, Haku, I send Snow with him when we parted," Naruto answered.

"Why did you do that instead of taking him as a hostage?" Kakashi asked.

"Well if my plan work our job become easier, I gain more political power and expand my business to Kirigakure if not then we just be back were we started," Naruto said.

"Okay so I guess the bad news is that he didn't take the deal?" Kakashi inquired.

"No, that not it he hasn't decided yet. The actually bad news is something else but before I tell everyone we must be on the same page which mean that everyone should know the truth about Kurama nii-san. When I said everyone I mean Ino, Tazuna and his family," Naruto said.

"Kit stops it with the nii-san crap," Kurama growled.

"Well how about furball?" Naruto asked.

"No way," Kurama growled.

"Okay fuzzy-butt," Naruto said.

"KIT!" Kurama yelled.

"Wait Shikamaru and Choji know about it, I understand that Sasuke and Sakura know because they are your teammate and were with us doing the council meeting but how do they know?" Kakashi asked.

"Well I kind of told them to try and end our friendship so that they don't receive the village's spite for associating with me but it didn't work out that way," Naruto said.

"We will never stop being your friend over something like that," Choji said.

"Tsk as troublesome as your situation is it is more troublesome to end our friendship because of that," Shikamaru said.

"Okay what is the big secret and why am I the only ninja here that doesn't know it?" Ino asked.

"It is an S-rank secret that only the Hokage or Naruto can talk or tell others about though I didn't expect him to actually tell anyone about it. I wonder if you told Choji and Shikamaru about it who else did you tell," Asuma said.

"Just all the genin on team eight and Lee-senpai," Naruto said.

"Gai's mini-clone knows too huh?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah I kind of got caught in the moment when Bushy Brow Senpai and I made a promise to fulfill our goal no matter what was standing in our way. It was quite a youthful moment," Naruto said with a smirk.

"NOOOOOOOOOO! You are my student and are on my team so you are supposed to have a cool and hip attitude like me ah damn it, you got me talking like them now," Kakashi said.

"Enough with the crazy and tell me what is this S-rank secret and why I'm the last one to know," Ino demanded.

"You know it is an S-rank secret so you can't gossip about it unless you want to permanently remove your head from your body, knowing that do you still want to know?," Naruto asked.

"Yes I promise I won't tell anyone, not like I have a choice," Ino said.

"Same goes for you and your family Tazuna you guys can step out until we done if you want," Naruto said.

"Nah we won't betray your trust after everything you done for us," Tazuna said.

"Okay the super big secret is that I really like Hinata-chan when she dress up in a maid's outfit, when she does that I can't help myself but hug her while thinking how cute she is," Naruto said with a faint blush while everyone else face-fault. "Oh also Kurama here is the Kyuubi no Yoko (Nine-tail Demon Fox) that attack Konoha on the day that I was born because some evil villain was being all evil and villainy by extracting Kurama from the last host, my mother, putting him under a genjutsu and forcing him to attack the village which got Kurama here seal it his new host me," Naruto said sipping on some tea as silence and sweat-drop descend upon them.

"Baka-kit," Kurama muttered.

"WHAT!" Ino yelled.

"Ah yes cute girls in maid's outfits I understand the feeling. You are definitely my student and you make me proud to be your sensei," Kakashi said with tears running down his one eyed, "But did you have to say the second part like it was a trivial matter," Kakashi deadpanned.

"I thought it would make taking in the news much easier," Naruto said.

"He's joking right? I know that the fox there can talk and all but it can't be the Kyuubi, I mean it only has one tail and if he is why the hell did you set it free?" Ino asked.

"Kurama nii-san is really the Kyuubi, he only have one tail now because he only have access to level one of his power so he is in his chibi form or one-tail form," Naruto said.

"How many levels can he access?" Kakashi asked.

"I can grant him all his power which means he can get back his true from, the nine-tail form, so nine levels but I have yet to find a reason to go that far," Naruto said.

"Well you can do it for the fun of it," Kurama said.

"As fun as it is to freak the villager with the sight of a fully power Kyuubi I don't want to get kick out of Konoha for give half the villager a heart attack. Also he not free because his chakra is still seal inside me but I can let his soul stretch his legs from time to time," Naruto said.

"All thing considering Ino is taking this well though I was kind of hoping she would have a major freak out then it would be funnier than Hinata reaction," Choji said.

"Yeah Hinata-chan reaction I remember how you take advantage of her Ero-Kitsune," Naruto said glaring at Kurama.

"Hey I was the one who was taken advantage of and if you wanted to use her chest as pillow all you have to do is asked, I bet she wouldn't mind," Kurama said.

"Damn it what with pervert trying to corrupt me," Naruto said to the heaven.

"It is the path all man must walk so Naruto join the perverted side we have smut," Kakashi said sagely causing everyone stare at him strangely. "Um I mean why was it necessity to tell everyone about Kurama being seal in you?"

"To understand why I was almost killed by a mob of Konoha's villagers at the age of five which caused me to meet both Kurama and the Shinigami and learn of the gift and burden I carry. To understand gravity of the bad news I'm about to tell you all I need to start at the beginning and the beginning starts there," Naruto said pausing for a moment before continuing. "You see as far as I can remember I was able to see things that other couldn't, things such as ghost and spirit. I never know why until that day when the Shinigami told me of my kekkei genkais. One of which let me see ghost as a side-effect by having it which I accidentally gain from him when I was unintentionally expose by his essence during the sealing."

"Whoa! Having a demon seal in you, gaining a kekkei genkai from the Shinigami your life is full of surprises isn't. Next you will be telling us that you are the heir of some important clan, prince of a fallen nation or maybe you're the lost son of the fourth Hokage," Ino said.

"Well since I'm the only known Uzumaki in Konoha that makes me automatically the heir of the Uzumaki clan also Konoha's shinobi uniforms and flask jackets carry the Uzushiogakure's symbol due to Uzumaki clan being a distant relatives of the Senju clan. However the fact that my grandpa Uzu was the leader of Uzushiogakure doesn't mean that I am the prince of the fallen village of Uzushio right?" Naruto asked.

"It kind of does," Kakashi said.

"Damn it well I can't let my assassins know about this or they will be more active in their attempt," Naruto said.

"For the last time Naruto those girls are not assassins they are fan-girls but it is true that they will be more active if they learn about this," Kakashi said.

"And the lost son of the fourth Hokage," Ino asked not believing what she is hearing.

"Damn I though she forgot about that um well Ero-Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked.

"Um we can't answer that question because of another S-rank secret," Kakashi replied.

"Wow just wow, and here I thought Sasuke-kun was the one who was a mysterious but we learn of all kind of secrets surrounding Naruto," Ino said.

"Teme is not a mysterious he really simple to understand. After all it only takes one look at him and you know that he is an emo antsy duck-butt haired boy with a brother complex," Naruto said.

"DOBE!" Sasuke said glaring at Naruto.

"Also some anger problem too. Now back to our conversation, after learning about my kekkei genkais from the Shinigami I was told that in order for me to keep my gift from the Shinigami I must fulfill my duty to him, which is in a sense to maintain the natural order of life and death. My duties range from small things like helping souls move on to the afterlife, because too many of their presents can distort the world somewhat, to big thing like sending back any evil spirits that escape from hell who tend to cause major problem for us," Naruto said. "But that's the spiritual side of things, there also the living aspects of things in which the livings cause trouble by messing with cycle of life and death. They do this by stealing the life force of other to prolong their own life or to attained immortality. When I come across a person or being like them I am required to take them down and executed them for their crime."

"Ah, so you are telling us this because the bad news you have for us involved your duty to the Shinigami," Shikamaru said.

"Yes the bad news that Snow-kun informs me is that two of the immortals that are on the Shinigami hit list, that the Shinigami himself warn me beforehand that they were in the area, are now working for Gatou," Naruto said.

"And do you know who these two immortals are?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes, the Mad Scientist Victor Von Frankenstein and the Undying Army Legion," Naruto replied causing the genin and non-shinobi to have a confuse look on their face while the two jonin paled at the information.

"Holy Log they exist and they are here," Kakashi said.

"I thought dad told me those story to scared me, I can't believe they are real," Asuma said.

"Okay what going and who are these two anyways?" Sasuke asked.

"I can't really give you a clear answer to that because what I know about them are only legend and rumors but maybe Naruto have something on them since he works for the Shinigami," Kakashi said.

"Of course since the Shinigami have me train to deal with these kinds of things he forces Obito to teach me about all about my potential enemies. Obito bring the scrolls that have the data on them and I will tell the others what I know," Naruto said.

"Okay," Obito said and with a wave of his wing a stack scrolls appeared.

"Let's see, Victor Von Frankenstein was once a brilliant man of science but his obsession with the inner working of life to the point of being able to create it and unlocking humanity full potential drove him to madness. He turns to grave robbing and murder to collect corpse and body parts for his experiments and his homunculus, artificial created human. Now who know about Jiongu (Earth Grudge Fear)?" Naruto asked.

"I heard it is some kind of kinjutsu of Takigakure," Kakashi said.

"Yes it is a kinjutsu of Takigakure and what it does is it makes the user's user body into something like a rag-doll. With it they can extend their life by stealing organs, like hearts, and integrating them into their own body giving them a form of immortality. They can even gain the elemental affinities of the person who they stole the organs from," Naruto said.

"So are you saying that this Victor Von Frankenstein know the Jiongu (Earth Grudge Fear) troublesome," Shikamaru said.

"No the Jiongu (Earth Grudge Fear) is the bastardization of the discovery that he made with his experiments. He discovers the equation of life and created the Kenja no Shiki (Philosopher's Formula). It does the same thing as the Jiongu (Earth Grudge Fear) plus more. With it he can seal the essences and memories of the person who organ he is stealing it from in that organ, by doing so he gain all the techniques and knowledge of the owner of the organ. And not only does he gain the elemental affinities of the stolen organs but he can also combine them creating advance elemental transformation like Hyoton (Ice Release) or Yogan (Lave Release) that normally take a Kekkei Genkai to do," Naruto said.

"Wow the thought of facing some that powerful is scary no wonder Asuma-sensei and Kakashi-sensei are afraid," Choji said.

"Well hearing what he can do does scare me senseless but what we were afraid of is the other moniker that he goes by," Asuma said.

"His other moniker what's so scary about a name he goes by?" Sasuke asked.

"The other moniker that he goes by is the Harvester of Body Parts because he enjoys dissecting his victim and collecting their body part for his experiments," Naruto said almost causing them to lose their lunch.

"Okay I might regret this but what about the other immortal Legion what do you know about him," Sakura asked hesitantly.

"The Undying Army Legion also known as the Immortal Army is a genius of sealing and technology but he despised the entire human race viewing it as flaw and imperfect to the point that he rejected his own humanity. So in the end he built himself a new long lasting mechanical body of metal and machinery and seal his consciousness in it," Naruto said.

"So we he to fight a metal-man it tough but nothing compare to the other guy," Ino said.

"There's a reason both of his moniker has the word 'army' in it. He traveled in a group of four or five durable mechanical soldiers but each soldier has a copy of his consciousness seal in them so they all share the same mind. But these four or five Legions are just a fraction of him because there is an entire city that is said to house millions of him, so if one of the bodies falls there's a battalion of them ready to replace the one that fallen hence the Undying Army. Also each of the body use to be human, a person until Legion 'converted them' as he put it. He suppresses their consciousness deep within their mind when he seal his own in them and used their life force as a power source to power the new body," Naruto said.

"And since both of them are working for Gatou we will be facing them, troublesome," Shikamaru said.

"Yep so now this C-rank mission turns B to A-rank mission is now an S-rank mission," Naruto said soberly as seriousness of the situation silence the room. "Ha I knew that I was awesome and now getting a S-rank mission when I am a genin fresh out of the academy proof it," Naruto with a big grin on his face.

"Baka, do you know how bad thing are why are you not freaking out?" Sakura asked.

"Of course I know how bad thing are but freaking out doesn't help with the situation beside I going to have to face them someday since I am employer of the Shinigami it just happing sooner than I expected," Naruto said casually.

"Are you really suicidal or something, how can you be so nonchalant about this, we could all die," Sakura said.

"Meh I work for the incarnation of death and been at his door so much that the idea of it barely phase me anymore. If I going to go I will go big and take as many sucker with me as I can then I can kick it in the afterlife or be reincarnate into some awesome," Naruto said.

"Well unless you have a great plan or something kicking it in the afterlife is what mostly will happen here," Shikamaru said.

"Well I more of think on your feet kind of guy and not the plan ahead kind of person but the Shinigami did let me sign his awesome summoning contact," Naruto said.

"So you can summon the Shinigami into battle?" Asuma asked.

"No just his familiars," Naruto said.

"And what are the Shinigami's familiars?" Kakashi asked.

"A ferryman for the dead, a giant three-head dog, a pack of furious hellhounds, a herd of winged skeleton horse, a flock of illusion casting birds, a bunch of barrier casting shadows, an army of skeleton warrior and a biju size specter dragon," Naruto said.

"Okay we might survive this after all," Kakashi said.

"Why bother, what you are doing only will get you killed," Inari said.

"Whatever kid I'm not like you," Naruto said.

"Well I'd hate to be like you," Inari stated.

"Well I'd hate to be like you, not only are you are a coward but also an ungrateful baka," Naruto said glaring at Inari and unleashing some killing intent. "You sit there playing the tragic hero dwelling over all the bad things that happen in your life while at the same time you don't appreciate the good things enough to protect them. So what if your father is dead as least he love you enough to die fighting for a better life for you and you repay him by spiting on his sacrifice. Gatou may control this country but he hasn't won yet because your grandpa here is still fighting to give this land a better life, to give you a better life while you do nothing but cry your eyes out."

"You don't know anything acting carefree and all, you don't know what it's like to suffer," Inari short back.

"You want some pity now, well sorry mister I have a grandfather who's risk his life for me and my mother who's is still alive to give me hugs and tell me everything is alright but I'm all out pity. Until you have to dig through garbage to find scrape of food so you don't starve to death, until you have to stand outside in blistering cold because the orphanage kick you out, until you hate your own birthday because you despise being born in this world, until you ask Kami why he forsaken you to a life of hate, sorrow and loneliness, until your sob story is ten time worse than all those crap I went through I don't want to hear you preach about suffering because compare to me I would die for a life like yours," Naruto said glaring straight into Inari eyes increasing his killing intent bit by bit. "You can sit there and cry but that won't change a thing," he said getting up, "but if you get tired of crying, you can take this kunai and fight back," Naruto said as he slam a kunai on to the table then head to the door.

"Where are you going Naruto?" Kakashi asked.

"I'm going to blow off some steam so that I won't lose my head and do something I will regret later like beat the kid to a bloody pulp," Naruto replied as he left.

"You know he right crying won't change anything," Kaiza said appearing in front of them.

"D-da-dad?" Inari said.

"Kaiza!" said a shock Tsunami.

"How?" Tazuna asked.

"Well the kid, Naruto, thought it was time I speak with you guys so with the seal he put on the kunai that he slams down on the table grant me this chance. Anyway Inari, Tsunami and Tazuna their some things I have to said to you all before I move on," Kaiza said.

"Kakashi was Naruto's life that bad?" Sakura asked given the family their moment.

"That barely scratch the surface," Obito said in his human form with a white crow mask on, "he didn't get to the emotional trauma or the insecurity he developed because of the crap life he live."

"He has insecurity and what are you doing in that form?" Kakashi asked.

"He may not look like it but that kid has all kind of insecurity, as for why I'm in this form I thought you would like as extra pair of hand since you will be facing some dangerous S-rank immortal," Obito said.

"Kakashi you know who he is?" Asuma asked.

"This is Obito, he the crow that been with Naruto all this time," Kakashi said.

"Obito, you mean like your friend that dies?" Asuma asked.

"Same one but that is a whole another long story that I won't be getting into. Anyway good to have you on board it will be like old times," Kakashi said.

"You mean with you being the biggest teme in the whole world?" Obito said.

"Hmm you said something dobe?" Kakashi asked.

"Damn it teme I will kick your ass," Obito growled.

"Me and Naruto are nothing like that are we?" Sasuke asked.

"No you and him are way worse," all the genin there replied.

"Hn," Sasuke replied.

Omake:

~Academy Days Naruto 101 Ways of Getting Detention: Number 41 to 50 There Was Nothing Better To Do~

_Number 41 Konoha Production _

"Okay quiet on the set everyone," Naruto said through a megaphone. "Clone #49 I want more emotion out of you from the last scene, Clone #20 move evilness you are the final boss the hero must defeat."

"Naruto what the hell are you doing?" Iruka asked.

"Making an epic film of a tale the is set during the Warring States Era about a heroic wandering ninja who is seeking love, peace and justice against vile villain who destroy his clan and village," Naruto said.

"Why?" Iruka asked.

"Because I didn't have anything better to do," Naruto replied, "Choji make sure the buffet is stock, Shikamaru add more lighting than you can go back to sleep, Kiba remember your line, Shino act more stoic and Hinata good job acting as a unconscious princess though I must talk to make up people because your face is too red." 

"Umm I think she is really unconscious," Kiba said.

"When did that happen?" Naruto asked.

"When the clone playing the evil villain grabs her," Kiba said.

"I can work with that, anyways Iruka what up?" Naruto inquired.

"You have detention for turning the school into a movie set," Iruka said.

"Fine but can I finish the movie first?" Naruto asked.

"Fine, by the way why is Sasuke dress up as a female warrior?" Iruka asked.

"Oh because he playing the part of the blacksmith's daughter who join up with the hero to avenge her father's death," Naruto said.

"And how did you get him to do that or keep his fan-girls from killing you for doing something like that instead of making him the lead in the movie?" Iruka asked.

"I did tell him that his character was female and once I mention the word 'avenge' he was all for it. As for his fan-girls they were all for it, what more he gain even more fan-girls because of it and some fan-boys too," Naruto said.

"You know once he find out about this he will try to kill you," Iruka said.

"Once my movie screen he will be too busy with a new set of fan-girls and fan-boys to have time to kill me, now if you don't mind we are a little behind schedule," Naruto said.

_Number 42 The Naruto Experience _

"Alright first we take Konoha then the world," Naruto said pumping his right hand in the air while his left hand was holding a guitar.

"Naruto is it possible for you to just sit down and pay attention in class just this one time. Also why do you, Choji, Shikamaru, Kiba and Shino have music instruments?" Iruka asked.

"Because we are starting a band I'm the lead singer and lead guitarist, Choji is our drummer, Shikamaru is our bassist, Kiba is our other guitarist and Shino is our keyboard player," Naruto said.

"At least this time you didn't drag Hinata into it," Iruka said.

"Oh Hinata is our manager," Naruto said.

"Why are you doing this?" Iruka asked.

"Because I'm bored and there nothing better to do," Naruto said.

"So you decide to start a band?" Iruka asked.

"Yeah and I have it all plan out. First we will have our debut here in Konoha then we will have a record deal follow by a world tour after that each of us will start having problem. For example I will become addictive to popping bubble warp and rumor to be romantically involved with our manager," Naruto said follow by the sound of Hinata falling down due to losing unconscious at the words 'be romantically involved with our manager'. "The band will break up while I head to rehab, after I get out we will reform and make a comeback and after our next album we will call it quits."

"That the stupidest plan I ever heard," Iruka said.

_A Few Months Later_

"After the band broke up, Uzumaki Naruto, who at the time was rumor to be romantically involved with his manager, Hinata Hyuga, decided to head to rehab to get his bubble warp popping under control. This seem to be the end of The Naruto Experience but when we get back to Behind the Music we will see how they got back together to make their final and greatest album of all time hitting the chart for months," the Narrator on the television said while Iruka, Naruto and his classmates watch the show in class.

"Man that was some wild time we have," Kiba said.

"Yes it will be a funny story that we can tell other about," Shino said.

"It was troublesome," Shikamaru said.

"But it was fun, hey Hinata were any of those rumors true?" Choji asked.

"N-no Choji, it was a big misunderstand started by the paparazzi," Hinata said.

"I don't believe it," Iruka said.

"Believe it," Naruto said.

"Don't ever say that again also you have detention for this craziness," Iruka said.

_Number 43 Ninja LARP_

"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers…" Naruto, dress in a kickass shinobi's armor, began his speech in front of his classmates and two ANBUs.

"Naruto what are you and everyone doing," Iruka asked.

"Iruka, couldn't you let me finish my speech first before you interrupted me?" Naruto asked.

"Fine finish your speech," Iruka said.

"Now where was I oh right:

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

For he to-day that sheds his blood with me

Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,

This day shall gentle his condition:

And gentlemen in Konoha now a-bed

Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,

And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks

That fought with us upon Saint Rikudo Sennin's day. Ah!" Naruto said as he and everyone on his side raise their weapon. (Don't own the St. Crispin's Day speech).

"Now that you are done with your epic speech what are you all doing," Iruka asked.

"We are LARPing," Naruto said.

"LARPing?" Iruka inquired.

"Yeah LARPing 'live action role-playing', we the ninjas of Maple clan are fighting our rival the Pine Clan," Naruto said.

"So you were bored and decided to play ninja, isn't it strange for ninja to play ninja," Iruka stated.

"Frist we are all ninja in-training well all of us are expect those two. Second playing is for kids, LARPing is not and yes we are LARPing because we are bored, it was either this or kickball and because of what happen last time we play kickball I thought this was a better idea ," Naruto said.

"You two got drag into this huh?" Iruka asked.

"Well truth be told we didn't have anything better to do," Bunny's mask ANBU said.

"I still said it is not fair that you got ANBU on your team and I end with most of my annoying fan-girls," Sasuke said.

"Well it your fault for having a lot of annoying fan-girl and also not picking the ANBU when you have the chance," Naruto said.

"Who could have of see them?" Sasuke asked.

"I did," Naruto said.

"Well you are not normal," Sasuke said.

"He right also you have detention for dragging ANBU from their duty," Iruka said.

"We said we didn't have anything better to do," the Duck masked ANBU said.

"It the principle of it, the principle," Iruka said.

"Fine, hey do you want to join my team?" Naruto asked.

"Sure why not, give a katana," Iruka said.

"Hey that not fair you got another rank shinobi," Sasuke said.

"You can get Mizuki," Naruto said.

"But he suck," Sasuke said.

"Well you don't have much of a choice," Naruto said.

"Fine we take the teme," Sasuke said.

"You know that you are the pot calling the kettle black, anyway prepare for battle, Ahhh!" Naruto said charging in while the other follow as the pretend battle began.

_Number 44 Watching Paint Dry_

"Um Naruto are you okay?" Iruka asked.

"Yes why do you asked?" Naruto asked.

"You been sitting there and watching that fence for some time now," Iruka said.

"Oh I'm just watching the paint on this fence dry," Naruto said.

"Why?" Iruka asked.

"Because I'm bored and have nothing to do," Naruto replied.

"So you are watching paint dry?" Iruka asked.

"I really bored," Naruto stated.

"Okay but I have to give you detention for being really dull today," Iruka said.

_Number 45 Uzumaki for Class Hokage_

"Uzumaki for class Hokage," Naruto said hand out a flyer to a random person.

"Uzumaki for class Hokage," Naruto said hand out another flyer.

"Uzumaki for…" Naruto said about to hand out another flyer.

"Naruto what are you doing?" Iruka asked.

"Campaigning for my candidacy as class Hokage," Naruto replied.

"We don't have a class Hokage," Iruka said.

"I know that way I'm going to be the first one so long as I don't lose to teme which I won't," Naruto announced.

"Damn it dobe I told you that I'm not going to run against you," Sasuke said.

"Too bad, I need a campaign rival so until I find someone else you doing it," Naruto said.

"Naruto will cause me to have more paperwork?" Iruka asked.

"Maybe but there nothing I can to about it since I have nothing better to do right now," Naruto replied.

"Damn it, you have detention for causing paperwork to breed more of themselves," Iruka said.

"Paperwork breeds?" Naruto asked.

"Yes and they do it at a rate that we can't handle," Iruka said.

"Okay well pass the word to other student to vote for me for class Hokage," Naruto said hand him a flyer.

"Oh I will and then you have to deal with the dreaded paper muwhaha!" Iruka laugh as lighting flash in the background.

"Are teachers supposed to laugh evilly?" Naruto asked.

"Well are under pay and have to deal with annoying brats like you, so it is understandable that we are evil on some level," Iruka said.

"So long as you are not trying to destroy or take over the world I'm okay with it," Naruto said.

"Who would be dumb enough to try to take over the world do know how big of a paperwork you have to deal with ruling the world," Iruka said.

_Number 46 Frist Meeting _

"Roll calls everyone," Naruto said.

"Yo, Vice Hokage Inuzuka Kiba here," Kiba began.

"Treasurer Akimichi Choji present," Choji said.

"Secretary Hyuga Hinata here," Hinata said.

"Troublesome Head Jonin Nara Shikamaru here," Shikamaru said.

"Head ANBU Aburame Shino here," Shino said pushing up his glasses.

"And your student body Hokage Uzumaki Naruto here, let get the first student village meeting started," Naruto said.

"Naruto did you have to have your meeting during class?" Iruka asked.

"Why not it not like we have anything better to do right now," Naruto said.

"You are supposed to be learning right now since we are in the middle of class," Iruka deadpanned.

"Nothing better to do," Naruto said sagely nodding his head.

"That it Naruto detention," Iruka said.

"I still can't believe I lost to the dobe," Sasuke stated even though he didn't want to run but it was the principle of it.

"It was you and your fan-girls fault," Naruto said.

"It not my fault I have fan-girls," Sasuke said.

"Yes it is because your emoish is confused with you being mysterious," Naruto said.

"I'm not emo and I going to kill you dobe," Sasuke growled.

"Shino, Uchiha Sasuke just made a death threat to the class Hokage take him to the T&I headquarter to be discipline," Naruto said as Shino drag Sasuke out of the classroom.

"You can't do this to me," Sasuke said being drag out of the classroom.

"He not taking him to the T&I headquarter to be discipline is he?" Iruka asked.

"…" Naruto stared at Iruka.

"…" Iruka stared back at Naruto.

"Alright we can fill Shino in once he get back until then let start the meeting with coming up with ideas to raise money for the up and coming academy's event that we will be hosting," Naruto said ignoring Iruka question.

"Naru…on second thought I don't want to know," Iruka said.

_Meanwhile At the T&I Headquarter_

"We have someone who needed to be discipline for threating the class Hokage," Shino said as he drop off Sasuke.

"Alright," Ibiki said.

"I will be heading back now," Shino said as he left.

"You won't really be disciplining me will you?" Sasuke asked.

"Of we will you threat the class Hokage," Ibiki said.

"Since when do you recognize that as a legitimate position?" Sasuke asked.

"Since the new class Hokage give us new idea to get information out of people. Now let get this started, the sooner we get this done the sooner you can leave," Ibiki said with a sadist grin as Sasuke scream could be hear across the village.

_Number 47 Sports Day_

"Okay take your bet the chicken butt hired emo Sasuke has a four to five chance of getting first place in the race," Naruto said.

"Naruto are you running a betting pool?" Iruka asked.

"Yes I have nothing better to do until the next event I am in, so I decided to start a betting pool and earn some extra money for the class village budget. Now who do you want to put your money on?" Naruto asked.

"Let me rephrase my question, are you running a betting pool for a school event that we never host until now?" Iruka asked.

"Yeah so what's the big deal?" Naruto asked.

"It not moral right to host a gambling den at school," Iruka said.

"I think that a school that trains child solider has more to worry about than illegal gambling, so who do you have your money on?" Naruto asked.

"Fine but you have detention and a 1000 ryo on you for your next event," Iruka said.

"Thank for have so much faith in me," Naruto said.

"It is not faith, only an idiot would bet against you," Iruka said.

"Well than they a lot of idiot here because everyone is betting against me, so if I win you will be making a killing," Naruto said.

_Number 48 Suggestion Box_

"Well since I have nothing to do right now," Naruto said.

"Expect pay attention in class right now," Iruka stated.

"Yep absolutely nothing important to do right now," Naruto said ignoring Iruka's comment.

"Damn it anther detention for you. How many of them will it take for you to pay attention in class?" Iruka asked.

"Never going to happen, anyway we going to have a class village meeting and go through some suggests from the suggestion box," Naruto said.

"A suggestion box you actually done something smart," Iruka stated.

"Hey I can be smart when I want to it just easier to be dumb and more fun being crazy," Naruto stated. "Now there is no such thing as a stupid suggestion so let get this started and look at the first suggestion. The first suggestion is 'Kill my fan-girls'. Wow that was a stupid suggestion Sasuke."

"Dobe, it was supposed to be anonymous," Sasuke yelled at him.

"You don't have to put your name on it but that doesn't mean I won't try to find out who wrote these suggestion," Naruto said. "As for your suggestion we can't kill them, we need our cannon fodders, however I could either give you advice on how to deal with them or hired bodyguards to protect you from them. But it is funnier to see you get mob by your fan-girls so we going to do nothing next," Naruto said stamping denial on the suggestion.

"Um this one said 'We should have snack time'", Choji said.

"Hmm we can get a petition started," Naruto said.

"Why didn't you denial that one?" Sasuke asked.

"I want snack time. You on the hand I have a limited empathy for, next," Naruto said.

"DOBE!" Sasuke growled.

"Nap time," Shikamaru said.

"Another petition, okay I got the next one," Naruto said. "Let see 'Sasuke walking around shirtless,'. Hmm as funny as it is to see Sasuke get traumatize I going to say no. This may be a school that train child solider but we have to draw the line somewhere."

"Aw," all of Sasuke's fan-girls groaned while Sasuke himself sighed.

"But there's nothing stopping his fan-girls from ripe off his shirt, since it's not our job to deal with such thing, so we won't get involved. Anyway, next," Naruto said as Sasuke's fan-girls mobbed and tried to ripe off his shirt while he ran for his life.

_Number 49 Café Uzumaki_

"We are hosting a cosplay café for our first annual culture festival," Iruka said.

"Because we couldn't of think of anything better to do," Naruto added.

"Right so every student is supposed to dress up and help out," Iruka stated.

"Right," Naruto stated.

"Then can you explain way you are being feed by a bunch of cute maids?" Iruka asked.

"They order me to be fed by them and as a butler I must follow my mistress order," Naruto said taking a bite of food from a maid that was feeding him

"Who are they anyways?" Iruka asked.

"They are the grateful worker and one grateful owner from the maid café who I save from a bunch of street gang that were trying to kidnap them all to be sell as slaves and prostitutes," Naruto replied taking a bit of another food from a different maid.

"Damn some people get all the luck but at least he beat Sasuke in both quantity and quality," Kiba who dress as a warrior with dog's ear said pointing at Sasuke who dressed up as a princess who is getting mob by his craze fan-girls and a few fan-boys.

"Why am I doing for and in dress too?" Sasuke asked.

"Because you lost a bet," Naruto said.

"Last time I play cards with you," Sasuke muttered.

"T-tt-try this N-N-Naruto-k-kun," Hinata said in an angel costume while the other maids cheer her on.

"Okay," Naruto said taking a bite from the food Hinata have, while she fainted and the maid 'Kawaii' and gusted.

"Naruto you have detention for umm slacking off, that right slacking off," Iruka said.

"But I…" Naruto began.

"Detention for slacking off and not because you are surrounded by cute maids," Iruka said.

Number 50 Black Market Bake Sale

"Pssh, Iruka-sensei I have some quality muffin from the street, 100 ryo per bag," Naruto said trying and failing to not look suspicious.

"Naruto what are you doing?" Iruka asked.

"Trying to sell some bake good to raise some fund for the class village fund also I didn't have anything better to do," Naruto replied.

"Okay but why are you sneaking around for?" Iruka said.

"Because this is a 'Black Market Bake Sale'," Naruto replied.

"How can a bake sale be illegal?" Iruka asked.

"It is not, the name of the bake sale is the 'Black Market Bake Sale' and to keep up with the theme we are sneaking around and selling bake good," Naruto said.

"Naruto you have detention for doing something not illegal," Iruka sighed, "wow I think that the first time I said something like that."

A/N: Sayonara no Jutsu


	13. Chapter 13 Pirate-Ninja Is A Contradicti

Land of Wave and Zabuza's Sword that Can't Cut through Reinforce Rice Paper Arc:

Chapter 13~Pirate-Ninja Is A Contradiction~

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me nor dose any of the other random reference in this story

A/N: Another chapter done sorry it took so long, college students don't get paid or have a lot of free time either. Also until I get a new beta I have to edit my own story so sorry if the stories have a lot of grammar errors English is not my first language.

"normal Speech"

'thoughts'

**Demon and other uber being**

Different language

_Tazuna's House_

"Why can't I stay here and wait with Naruto and the others?" Shikamaru complained.

"No way you slacker, we have a job to do and you're going to do it no matter what," Ino scolded.

"Please take care of Naruto and Ju for us, it seem that he push himself to the limit and it will be some time until he can get up and move about," Kakashi said.

"I said that the area we found him in looks like a hurricane went through it," Asuma added.

"And if he wake up before any of us come back you can tell him where we are, Mokona," Obito told him who was in his human form.

"Hai, Obito-taichou," Mokona said giving Obito a salute he then went to take a nap with the other.

"Since when did a baka like you earn a title like 'taichou'?" Kakashi asked.

"Shut teme," Obito countered.

"Baka," Kakashi replied.

"BOTH OF YOU STOP IT! I get enough of it from my own teammate that I don't need to deal it from you two," Sakura growled.

"Kakashi-teme your female genin is scarier than Rin-chan," Obito said hugging Kakashi in fear.

"I know baka, I know," Kakashi said hugging Obito in fear too. All the ninjas expect Naruto headed towards the bridge. Tsunami on the other hand was busy doing chores in the kitchen and Inari was fiddling with the kunai that Naruto left him while at the same time thinking about what he said to him about his dad last night unknown to the danger that was approaching them.

_Zabuza's Hideout_

"Let go Haku," Zabuza said.

"Hai Zabuza-sama," Haku said.

"Can't wait to see the quality of Sharingan no Kakashi's body," Frankenstein said with a creepy grin.

"I don't understand why you collect body parts from such imperfect beings," Legion said in a distorted voice.

"That because you don't understand the beauty that comes from biology, the true gift to science," Frankenstein said.

"What nonsense are you talking about, technology is the true gift of science," Legion said.

"Said the fool who doesn't understand the greatness of mitosis," Frankenstein stated.

"You're the fool considering the fact that you cannot appreciated the accomplishment of the wheel, the true gift of science is technology," Legion shot back.

"Biology is the true gift of science," Frankenstein shot back as the two began to argue over the true gift of science.

_Somewhere In the Element Country_

"Do you feel that Sasori-Danna un?" Deidara asked.

"Yeah two fools are having a meaningless argument," Sasori said.

"Why can't they have a meaningful argument like art, which is a bang un," Deidara said.

"Fool! Art is eternal," Sasori said.

"No art is a bang un," Deidara said as these two began their meaningless argument.

_Back at Zabuza's Hideout_

"Those two are having the most meaningless argument I ever hear, Zabuza-sama," Haku whispered to Zabuza.

"Yes they are. Anyways I don't trust those two, I getting a bad feeling from them. If they show sign of turning on us then we will have to team up the Konoha ninjas in order to have chance of survive those two things," Zabuza whispered back.

"Hai, I understand Zabuza-sama," Haku said.

_At The Bridge_

"Wha-what happen here? Who did this?" Tazuna asked checking on one of the fallen worker.

"A monster," the worker said before passing out.

"Be on guard they're here," Kakashi said as the mists thicken.

"Ah Kakashi we meet again and you brought some friends too. Where the blond brat, I want to give him my replied," Zabuza said appearing with Haku by his side.

"Sorry but he's getting some needed rest right now," Kakashi replied.

"Hmm so you're Sharingan no Kakashi and from the look of thing Asuma a formal member of the Twelve Guardian Ninja is also here. And you brought your little genins with you I can't wait to cut open all of you," Frankenstein said with a sadist grin the send chill to everyone spine.

"Flawed creatures surrender now and I shall convert you all so that you shall be perfection," one of the five Legions said.

"How about we take you all down instead," Obito said pulling out his scythe.

"That symbol on your badge you're one of the Shinigami's Messenger or a Death Lord and here I thought they all died out," Frankenstein said pointing to the badge with a symbol of a skull.

"Sorry but no, I'm a Reaper that teaches one," Obito said.

"From the looks of it I guess he the blond one that Zabuza mention who not here yet, oh well I guess I shall play operation with you all instead. But before we began I think I shall collect my down payment first, Kage no Ito (Shadow Thread)," Frankenstein said as black threads erupted from his arm and began to warp itself around Zabuza. Frankenstein then jabbed him with a syringe full of an unknown liquid, once the needle made contact Zabuza exploded into a puddle of water. "Mizu Bunshin huh, I guess getting my specimen won't be as easy as I thought it would be oh well at least I will see my collection in action before I get it."

"Good thing we made those Mizu Bunshin to stand in for us," Haku said as he and Zabuza appeared next to the Konoha ninjas.

"Yeah, Kakashi considering that we have a common enemy right now what do you said we team up for the time being," Zabuza said.

"I guess so," Kakashi said revealing his sharingan. "Zabuza and I will take on Frankenstein, while Asuma and Obito take on Legions. Sasuke you, Shikamaru, Choji and Zabuza's partner back up Asuma and Obito while Sakura and Ino guard Tazuna."

"Hai," they all said.

"Hope we get out of this alive," Kakashi said as everyone got into battle position.

_At Tazuna's House_

"You're coming with us, girly. Gatou wants a hostage," a mercenary with a purple hat said as he and his partner enters through the wall that they just destroy.

"Mom!" Inari yelled.

"Ran away Inari," Tsunami told him.

"A kid huh, what should we do with him?" the mercenary with an eye-patch asked.

"Gatou only asked for one hostage," his partner replied.

"Should I kill him?" he asked.

"Wait! If you touch him then I will bite off my tongue and kill myself, then you will lose your hostage," Tsunami said.

"Heh you should thank your mom for saving your life kid," the one with the hat said.

"Damn, I wanted to cut something," the eye-patch mercenary whined.

"Shut up already you cut a bunch of stuff before we got here," he said as they left.

'Mom I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I'm just a weak kid that can't protect you,' Inari thought, 'And I don't want to die, I'm sorry but I'm afraid."

"…not only are you are a coward but also an ungrateful baka,.." as Naruto's word echo back to him and he flashback to his talk with his father last night.

_Flashback no Jutsu_

"D-da-dad?" Inari said.

"Inari I'm sorry that I die and left you all but I don't regret what I did," Kaiza said.

"Why, why did you have to die and leave, why did you do it?" Inari asked with tears in his eyes.

"Because I love you and your mom, I wanted the both of you to live good and happy life so I fought for it. Son, when you have something precious you protected it with everything you have even if it cost you your life," Kaiza said.

"_Flashback End no Jutsu_

"…if you get tired of crying, you can take this kunai and fight back…" with those words from Naruto Inari got up and clutching the kunai in his hand with determination.

"Wait!" Inari shouted causing them to turn around. "Get away from my mom!" he yelled charging at them with kunai in hand (Note: it is dangerous to run with sharp tool so let a professional ninja do the jobs. This public safety announcement is brought to you by Happy Wacky Snack's Seafood Paradise Chip, they may sound fishy but it a crime to not try them. Now back to your normal schedule fanfiction).

"Stupid kid, let me cut him up," the hat wearing mercenary said.

"Alright," the other one replied.

"Inari run…" Tsunami tried to say but was knock out.

The two mercenary drew their sword, when Inari was a mere step away from them they brought down their sword trying to slice him up but instead of Inari they ended up cutting up a piece of log. "All praise the Holy Log for it save another life today," Naruto said using Kawarimi no Jutsu (Substitution Jutsu) to saving both Inari and Tsunami. "I will plant ten saplings and write a hundred line of apologize for its sacrifice," he said as he place Inari and Tsunami next to Tree, Cloud, Mokona and Ju.

"Naruto," Inari said.

"Sorry that I'm late a hero always shows up at the last second or something like that. Anyways you get an A for guts but a -D for skill. Don't worries just keep practicing and soon you will be able to take down an enemy with that kunai," Naruto said as he patted Inari on the head. "As for you two not only did you have me sacrifice a log and woke me up this early in the morning…"

"Morning, it is noon!" eye-patch said.

"Whatever, you woke me up. Anyways as I was saying not only did you do those thing but you also try to kill Inari, kidnapped Tsunami and work for that scum Gatou. For that I will become your executioner and you will die," Naruto said taking out his scythe, Mugen no Sora.

"You kill us, like that will happen brat," they said.

"Inari look away and take care of your mother, what I'm about to do won't be pretty," Naruto said.

"What are you going to do?" Inari asked as he turn and check on his unconscious mother.

"I'm going to finish this," Naruto replied as he got ready to attack. "Futon: Kiritori Fuhai (Wind Release: Decaying Cut)," he said as his attack turn their swords into grains of sand and cause their hands to crumble off.

"Ah my hand," a pale mercenary said due to the loss of blood.

"You will pay for that brat," the other mercenary said weakly.

"The attack that I just use usually destroys my opponent's weapon without harming them because I typically limited the attack to their weapon however I made an exception for the both of you because the two of you won't live for that much longer. Futon: Zencho-Fu (Wind Release: Ominous Wind)," Naruto said as a gentle breezes of wind blew pass the two mercenary.

"Hah your attack…" the mercenary began but wasn't able to finish because he and his partner exploded into a burst of blood and chucks of flesh.

"Suiton: Seiketsu Ni Naru Kawa (Water Release: Cleansing River)," Naruto said washing away their remains into the river. "Well that takes care of them. By the way Inari good job, keep at it and you will keep on getting stronger. Anyways from the look of things I should head to the bridge now, can you take care of thing here?" Naruto asked.

"Stupid dust in my eyes," Inari said with tears, "yeah, good luck Naruto."

"There's no shame in crying when you are happy. Well, later," Naruto replied as he and the other left.

_The Bridge _

_Kakashi and Zabuza vs Frankenstein_

"I wish to not fight the both of you for I want my specimen to be in perfect condition before I cut them open," Frankenstein said.

"Sorry but I'm not that open about my body, hell I wear a mask in public for kami sake," Kakashi said while eye smiling.

"Shut up about your insecurity and attack him, Suiton: Kirigakure no Jutsu (Water Release: Hiding in Mist Technique)," Zabuza said as he vanished into the mist.

"You know, I can do without the mist, it's not really helping me much here," Kakashi said revealing his Sharingan.

"Well beggars can't be choosers, Raiton: Denkai (Lightning Release: Electric Field)," Frankenstein said as electricity surround him and burst outward shocking a charging Zabuza and a stationary Kakashi.

"Grr, what hit me," Zabuza groaned as he got up.

"Oh about a hundred watts of electrical current I think," Kakashi said as he got up.

"This mist won't do I can't see my precise sample in action, Shakuton: Arechi no Moe (Scorch Release: Blazing Wasteland)," Frankenstein said causing a red hot orb to burst and heat up the surrounding area clearing the mist while at the same time make the environment hot and dry.

"Crap there goes my plan to strike him down while hiding in the mist," Zabuza said.

"Guess we have to do this the hard way," Kakashi said.

"Suiton: Suiryudan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Dragon Bullet Technique)," Kakashi and Zabuza said together causing two water dragons to charge at their enemy.

"Doton: Doryuheki (Earth Release: Mud Wall)," Frankenstein said creating a stone wall to block the attacks. "Not bad but let see how you two deal with my creations," he said pulling out two scrolls to summon two of the most gruesome beings ever seen. "Meet Abomination," he said pointing to the large buff human with stitches all over his body, it was wearing a medieval helmet and wielding a large battle axe, "and Wraith," pointing to a pale skinny medium size man with stitches covering his body too, it wore a clock and had razor metal claws attach to it arms. "Entertain me now," he said as his two creation charge at them.

"I take the skinny one," Kakashi said.

"Fine, I wonder how the others are doing" Zabuza said as he charges in with his sword drawn.

_The Others vs Legion_

"Pathetic meat-bag," the Legion in the front left said.

"Surrender and become complete like us," the one on the front right said.

"Never you human trash can," Obito replied.

"Fine, then we shall show you all how it's futile to challenge us," the one on the back left said.

"Call forth three Kyosha (Lance) units along with two more Fuhyo (pawn) units," the one on the back right said.

"Kakugyo (Bishop) unit powering up," the one in the center said who look like the other four except for the assortment of seals that was carve on every inch of its armor which started to glow. "Kakugyo (Bishop) unit operational," he said while it was encase inside a chakra constructed that shape like a Shinto shrine, "Run Puroguramu: Terepotoare (Program: Teleporting Array)," he said as pentagram form around the shrine with a circle at the tip of each point of the pentagram. A column of light erupted from all the circles and once it clean five more robotic samurais appeared. Two with sword like the other four that were there while the remaining three were holding some kind of firearm.

"Attack!" one of the Legion said as all the sword wielding ones charged at them. Their attack were counter by Asuma's chakra blade, Obito's scythe, Sasuke's Chokuto, Shikamaru's shadow, Choji's enlarge hand and Haku's ice dome.

"Word of warning Ino, don't use your Shintenshin no Jutsu (Mind Body Switch Technique)," Obito said.

"Why? Wouldn't it be better if I took control of one of them?" Ino asked.

"Their minds don't work like ours, if you use that jutsu three things will happen: you will end up being control by them, your mind will be lost in their collective consciousness or your mind will end up being destroyed by them," he replied.

"Right no Shintenshin no Jutsu (Mind Body Switch Technique)," Ino said.

"Ah!" Choji cried out in pain as one of the Legions sliced the palm of his hand to free itself.

"Damn it! Choji go and get your hand healed by Sakura then head back into battle. Everybody else hit them hard and make sure they stay down. Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique)," Obito said sending a giant fireball at them knocking some of them back but it did little damage to them.

"Lock on, Chakurashotto (Chakra Shot)," the three Kyosha (Lance) units said as they fire a burst of chakra from their firearm hitting Obito who fell down on his knee in pain.

"Katon: Haisekisho (Fire Release: Burning Ash)," Asuma said spewing ashes as it surrounded some of the Legion, and then the ashes ignited in a violent explosion. Once the dust cleared the Legions that were hit had scorch mark on their armor but they were still functioning. "Are you alright Obito?" Asuma asked.

"Yeah, you can't kill something that already dead but if I take on too much damage I will be force back to the Spirit Realm to recover," Obito said.

"You dirty our armor that is a great accomplishment for a bunch pathetic meat-bag," Legion said sarcastically.

"Okay, now what?" Sasuke asked.

"Well the name they use for each type of unit is a name of a different shogi piece," Shikamaru said.

"How will that help us?" Sasuke asked while Ino muttered shogi Otaku to Shikamaru.

"Just stating an interesting fact but from what I can see the Fuhyo (pawn) units can only attack close range while Kyosha (Lance) units are good at attacking mid to long range and the Kakugyo (Bishop) unit can called forth more Legions units. From what I can see we need to take down the Kakugyo (Bishop) unit so they won't overwhelm us with their number however this will be difficult to do," Shikamaru said, "because the Fuhyo (pawn) units are preventing us from even getting close to the Kakugyo (Bishop) unit while the Kyosha (Lance) units are picking us off from a distance."

"So they are hard to kill," Choji said coming back to the battle.

"Yes but I have a plan however I need everyone to fall back so I can assigned each one of you your task," Shikamaru said as everyone retreated to formula a counter attack.

_Kakashi and Zabuza vs Frankenstein's Creations_

"Damn this guy is fast," Kakashi said as he dodged another swipe from Wraith's claw.

"Jinton: Fantomusutoraiku (Swift Release: Phantom Strike)," Wraith said launching an attack at Kakashi. As he got close Kakashi slash him with his kunai but end up only to cutting Wraith's afterimage. He then appeared to the right of him, slashing Kakashi's side with his claw giving him a light cut.

"He's a Kekkei Genkai user too that just great what else can go wrong. How are you holding up, Zabuza?" Kakashi asked.

"Suiton: Suidan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Bullet Technique)," Zabuza said as he launch a torrent of water at his opponent.

"Doton: Domu (Earth Release: Iron Skin)," Abomination said causing his skin to turn dark making the water attack useless. He then brought down his battle axe on Zabuza.

"Not good," Zabuza grunted, "He's an earth type user so his element is stronger than mine," he replied as he sidesteps the attack.

"Hmm, I'll take on your opponent if you take on mine," Kakashi said jumping back to avoid another attack from Wraith.

"Fine," Zabuza replied jumping backward to avoid Abomination's axe as he and Kakashi stood back to back. "Suiton: Kirigakure no Jutsu (Water Release: Hiding in Mist Technique)," he said as the mist cloak both him and Kakashi.

"Jinton: Tokkan (Swift Release: Rush)," Wraith said as he vanish doing a linear attack straight into the mist. He appeared on the other side of the mist attacking nothing but air.

"Doton: Koka Jutsu (Earth Release: Hardening Technique)," Abomination said covering his body with rocks. 

"Kuchiyose: Doton: Tsuiga no Jutsu (Summoning: Earth Release: Fanged Pursuit Technique)," Kakashi said as a pack of his ninken (Ninja Dogs) burst from the ground to bite and bind Abomination.

Zabuza on the other hand appear behind Wraith and decapitate him using his silent killing technique. "That's one," he said as a headless Wraith fell.

"Raiton: Raikiri (Lighting Release: Lighting Blade)," Kakashi said as his electrical charge hand pierce through Abomination's rock armor and heart. "Two," Kakashi said as Abomination also drops dead.

"Mine, mine you two are really entertaining," Frankenstein said giving them a standing ovation. "However you two destroy two of my precious creation," he said with mock sadness. "Oh well with a little more experimentation I can make them better, Kage no Ito (Shadow Thread)," he said as the dark thread collect the fallen homunculus and seal them back into the sealing scroll. "Your victory makes me want to add you two to my collection even more," he said with a mad grin. "My precious Runners capture my new trophy," he said as he unroll a scroll and summon a pack of mangle deform dogs like creature.

"Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique)," Kakashi said burning up a few of the Runners. "I think we should fall back and regroup with the other now," he said.

"Hai, I hope the others are doing better than us," Zabuza said as he and Kakashi retreated.

_The Other_

"Okay so does everyone understand the plan?" Shikamaru asked.

"Hai," they all replied.

"Kagemane no Jutsu (Shadow Possession Technique)," Shikamaru said as his shadow extended to trapped all the Legions.

"Hyoton: Makyo Hyosho (Ice Release: Demonic Mirroring Ice Crystals)," Haku said creating ice mirrors to separate the Fuhyo (pawn) unit from the others.

"Bubun Baika no Jutsu (Partial Expansion Technique)," Choji said as his hand and arm enlarge, he then use his large hands to slam the Fuhyo (pawn) units together.

"Raiton: Shizunami (Lighting Release: Static Wave)," Sasuke said unleashing a surge of lightning, stunning and frying the Fuhyo (pawn) units' circuits.

"Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique)," Obito said blowing a giant fireball at the stun enemy.

"Futon: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)," Asuma said making the fireball bigger and burn hotter as the attack hit the Fuhyo (pawn) units. Once the flames clear two of the Fuhyo (pawn) units that were at the centers were incinerated to ashes while the others at the side have arms and legs melted off.

"Looks like your plan was successful," Kakashi said as he and Zabuza appeared next to them.

"But there's still four more left that aren't destroy or damage," Sasuke said.

"Also one of them can call forth more out to battle," Shikamaru said.

"Hmm you all went from being pathetic to being annoying," one of the Kyosha (Lance) Legion unit said as Haku's ice mirrors fell.

"What percentage is the teleporting unit at?" Another Kyosha (Lance) unit said.

"One hundred percent," the Kakugyo (Bishop) unit said.

"Alright called a Ryuma (Promoted Bishop) unit, four of those Fuhyo (Pawn) units can be salvage. Also call forth a Tokin (Promoted Pawn) unit, two Keima (Knight) units and lastly a Kinsho (Gold General) unit to battle. I grow tired of indulging these meat-bags," The last Kyosha (Lance) unit said.

"Run Puroguramu: Terepotoare (Program: Teleporting Array)," Kakugyo (Bishop) unit said as he called forth a giant bell shape machine with a robotic head, a metal samurai with glowing seal on its body, two mechanical mounted samurai and a heavy golden armor robotic soldier that wielded a shield and bladed firearm.

"How are you handling your opponent Zabuza-sama?" Haku asked while at the same time apprehension of the new Legion units that appeared.

"The creep wanted to collect me and Hatake as his prize," Zabuza grunted.

"Yes and what you are doing might make what I want quite difficult, Legion," Frankenstein said appearing in front of them follow by his pack runners.

"I could care less about what you want, you can take what body part you can find after I wipe these unsightly being in front of me. Ryuma (Promoted Bishop) unit repaired the four damage Fuhyo (Pawn) units, while Kyosha (Lance) and Keima (Knight) units take your aim and eliminate them," The golden armor Legion said.

"Locking on to the target, target lock on," Kyosha (Lance) and Keima (Knight) units said lining up and point their chakra guns and cannon at the ninjas.

"Troublesome," Shikamura said.

"If any of you know any defensive jutsu use them now," Kakashi said making hand signs as fast as he can.

"Your struggle is futile. Kyosha (Lance) and Keima (Knight) units on the count of three fire, one, two…'BOOM!" the golden armor Legion was interrupted when a beam of chakra blasted the Kyosha (Lance) and Keima (Knight) units destroying the Keima (Knight) unit that was the first to be hit while damaging the other Keima (Knight) unit along with the Kyosha (Lance) units. In the distance they can see a sailing vessel approaching them and at the same time they could hear singing.

"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.  
>We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot.<br>Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.  
>We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot.<br>Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.  
>We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack.<br>Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.  
>Maraud and embezzle and even highjack.<br>Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.  
>We kindle and char and in flame and ignite.<br>Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.  
>We burn up the city, we're really a fright.<br>Drink up me 'earties, yo ho. 

We're rascals and scoundrels, we're villians and knaves.  
>Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.<br>We're devils and black sheep, we're really bad eggs.  
>Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.<p>

We're beggars and blighters and ne'er do-well cads,  
>Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.<br>Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,  
>Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.<br>Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me," Naruto, Tree, Cloud, Mokona, Ju and his skeleton crew (and I really mean skeleton crew because some of Fallen from the Death Clan were manning the ship) who were dress as pirate singed as they sail to the bridge on their pirate ship (A/N: don't own this song either).

"Wow that's an unusual sight to behold," Frankenstein stated.

"Yeah this is my first time seeing a ghost ship with actual ghost," Legion said.

"Huh no I mean the pirate ninja they are like a contradiction in this world aren't they," Frankenstein said.

"I think we should be more concern about the skeleton army than about a career confused kid," Legion deadpanned.

"Sorry I'm late, I travel as fast as this ship could take me here," Naruto said who is clad in an orange pirate trench coat and wore a black tri-cornered hat.

"You're late because you take a ship to get here, where the hell did you get a pirate anyhow?" Kakashi asked.

"I made it with the Mokuton ability that I borrow from Tree-kun. Also I didn't just take a ship here, I went up stream to where the ship was and then sail down here to the bridge," Naruto replied.

"Why didn't you just head straight here?" Kakashi asked.

"You mean besides arriving here in style? You got to admit that arrive to battle in a pirate ship is pretty epic," Naruto said.

"Yeah true however I want an explanation to why you were playing around on a pirate ship while the rest of us were have a life and death battle," Kakashi scolded.

"Well these two high power chakra cannon are really heavy and bring them by ship seem like a good way to transported them," Naruto said pointing at the large cannon devices.

"Why didn't you just seal them up in a sealing scroll?" Kakashi asked.

"Because then I couldn't dress up as a pirate," Naruto replied.

"Oh, okay," Kakashi said.

"Okay! You letting him off with an excuse like that?" Sakura asked.

"Well this is Naruto we're talking about and beside as long as he has some kind of an excuse for his actions I am fine with it," Kakashi replied. 

"Says the guy who always has an excuse for being late," Sasuke deadpanned.

"Um let focus here guys, we have enemies who want to kill us," Kakashi said trying to change the subject.

"So are you going to introduce yourself our uninvited guest?" Frankenstein asked.

"There was an invitation and I didn't get one," Naruto replied in his corner of woe while everyone else just sweat-drop. "Of course I didn't get one, I'm the village's pariah and the village's pariah never gets invited to anything," Naruto said who still in his corner of woe but now was crying a river of tears. "Why don't they let me play in any of their reindeer's game, it's not my fault that I have an ancient sentient charka-fox being with a god complex living inside my gut," Naruto yelled at the heaven while the other try not to face-fault.

"I don't have a god complex you brat, I just think that I'm better than a pathetic human like you," Kurama said next to him.

"After seeing him like this I got to asked can he really make an endless amount of exploding clone, is his obsession with explosive that bad and can he really single handling destroy an entire village?" Zabuza asked.

"Yes to the endless amount of exploding clone and you have no idea for the obsession with explosive. As for single handling destroy an entire village well if he put his mind to it or if he gone insane, more than he is right now, he can definitely do it. We really surprise that he hasn't done it yet," Kakashi said.

"You can thank me and the others for that. Every time that he is about to something on the level of blowing up an entire village our Naruto danger sense goes off and we distract him from doing so," Obito said.

"You have a Naruto danger sense?" Kakashi asked.

"Anyone that know him has one, it the tingling feeling in the back of your mind that said something bad is about to happen and Naruto is going to be involved in it somehow," Obito said.

"That explain the feeling I have before he does one of his pranks," Kakashi mused.

"Anyways I'm Uzumaki Naruto and since I safeguard my true name you can't use it for your sick and twisted game," Naruto said.

"Are you really that superstitious?" Kakashi asked.

"Considering that my life consists of powerful deities, demons and earthbound spirits, yes. Now back to my intro, the name is Naruto, immortal hunter and a weapon of the Shinigami meaning you two worsts nightmares, the Mad Scientist Victor Von Frankenstein and Legion the Undying Army or as I like to called you two the organ-otaku and garbage can," Naruto said pointing his scythe at them.

"I don't fear you, you pathetic meat-bag and you will pay for that insult," Kinsho (Gold General) Legion said.

"You may criticize my work but through it I discover the origin of Kekkei Genkai," Frankenstein said arrogantly. "Of course I had help from my beautiful creation Underlings," he said summoning a bunch of deform human like beings. "They are quite useful as lab assistance as they are as foot soldiers."

"The origins of Kekkei Genkai, you mean how they are Kami's gifts, demon's curses or spirit's hearts thus come from deities, demons or a powerful spirits. I know all of that and didn't even have to cut open a person you organ fetish freak. And since you brought some more friend to the party I think I should too, Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Technique)," He said summon a pack of Hellhounds. "As for you tin-can, I can take you on hands down and I didn't need to make myself into a sci-fi reject," Naruto stated.

"I will obliterate you for continuous insults, fleshy," Kinsho (Gold General) Legion said eye twitching even though his face is entirely mechanical.

"Oh I will have fun cutting you open," Frankenstein said eye twitching not taking the organ fetish freak thing that well. "Because you are the Shinigami's Death Lord I can't add you to my collection or it will be the death of me or my creation due to your connection with him but that doesn't mean I can't cut you open. However that doesn't mean I don't wish to have a piece of you inside of me," he said with a creepy grin.

"Ew! I thought you were creepy before but I didn't peg you for a pedo," Naruto said.

"I didn't mean it like that, I meant your organ like your heart or liver transplanted in me, brat," Frankenstein said with a tick mark.

"Aren't you more interested in getting you hand on a 'piece' of teme here?" Naruto asked pointing at Sasuke.

"Well yes one of the last Uchiha does interest me but do you have to phase it like that?" he asked.

"Dobe don't attract pedos to me," Sasuke said.

"I'm not a pedo," Frankenstein yelled.

"I don't need to attract pedos to you. You naturally attract them due to emo exterior and your antisocial behaviors make you an easy target," Naruto explained. "Anyways what can you guys tell me about our enemy?" he asked.

"Well the one who's inside the chakra shrine can summon more units, so we need to take it down first. Also from the looks of things the new bell shape machine just repaired some of the units we just destroy so it the second thing we need to take down," Shikamaru said pointing at the Fuhyo (Pawn), Kyosha (Lance) and Keima (Knight) units that are operational and repair by the Ryuma (Promoted Bishop) unit.

"That is not the only thing you have to worry about, Tokin (Promoted Pawn)," the Kinsho (Gold General) unit said.

"Mekamodo (Mecha Mode)," Tokin (Promoted Pawn) unit said as it head, arms, leg detach and move away from each other. Then chakra course through them making a massive chakra mecha construct.

"That would be so cool if it wasn't trying to kill us," Naruto said.

"We really should do something about that," Obito suggested.

"Right Gunner Ju-kun fired the second chakra cannon," Naruto commanded.

"Aye aye Captain Naruto," Ju replied who was dress in a doublet and wore a bandana. He then fired the cannon which miss both the Tokin (Promoted Pawn) unit and their other enemies entirely.

"Gunner Ju-kun you miss the gigantic Mecha," Naruto stated.

"That was my target?" Ju asked tilting his head cutely.

"What were you aim at then?" Naruto asked.

"The other pirate ship in the distance," Ju replied.

"Right well since we already fire our only two cannon and it has a cool down time of an hour we can't use them again. Guess we have go with plan C," Naruto said.

"Plan C, what was plan A and B?" they asked.

"Plan A was bum rushing them with massive amount of exploding clone which might destroy the bridge in the process so that out. Plan B was blowing them up with the chakra cannon but now that out of the question so we go with Plan C," he said making a small cut on his thumbs and wiping the blood on the tattoo on his left arm and the seal on his scythe. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Technique), which is to have a kickass Kaiju (strange beast/giant monster) battle," Naruto said summoning both Byakko and Soul into battle.

"Look like I get to test my skill," Byakko, the titanic katana wielding samurai white tiger with black stripe said.

"Can't wait to burn something to a crisp," Soul, the massive blue flame skeleton dragon said.

"Well since everyone is bringing out the big gun so to speak I guess I join in," Frankenstein said pulling out two scrolls and summoned two colossal horned being standing upright with its tail swinging wildly. "Go forth and show them your great strength, my Behemoths," he said as the creatures got into position to attack.

"Okay it's time for Mr. Spawn Point and Mr. Fix It to go down before I deal with Dr. Organ Fetish along with the Tin-man and his army," Naruto said with his thumb pointing down. "Futon: Hiko Fujin no Jutsu (Wind Release: Flying Wind God Technique)," Nartuo said as he began to float while the wind began to whirl around him. "Futon: Mahha-soku (Wind Release: Mach Speed)," he said flying a neck-breaking speed towards the Kakugyo (Bishop) Legion. When he was a mere step away from Kakugyo (Bishop) Legion he stops while the Kyosha (Lance) and the Keima (Knight) units took their aim and then shot him with their firearm. "Futon: Senpu Boei (Wind Release: Whirlwind Defense)" he cried as he created a screeching spiraling barrier of wind that was spinning around him at high speed. The jutsu block the beams of chakra that was about to hit him while at the same time grinding the Kakugyo (Bishop) Legion to dust of metal sand and mush of flesh. "Well that take care of him," he said to the pile of sand that was once the Kakugyo (Bishop) Legion then he shot straight toward the Ryuma (Promoted Bishop) Legion. The Kinsho (Gold General) Legion tried to head him off, in response Naruto raise his scythe for an attack. "Futon: Shinshoku (Wind Release: Erosion)," he said sending a high screeching but powerful gust of wind at both the Ryuma (Promoted Bishop) and the Kinsho (Gold General) Legions. As the wind die down the Ryuma (Promoted Bishop) was reduce to nothing but a pile of sand and organic goo while every inch of the Kinsho's (Gold General) armor was cover in nicks and scratches.

"You on your own took down two key units effortlessly and manage to scratch my best armor on one of my best unit," the Kinsho (Gold General) unit said. "Congratulation you earn the title higher than any of your allies which is pest, your grand prize is that you get the honor of being painful murder by me."

"Thank and you're the first person to survive that assassination jutsu but it doesn't mean much considering that this is the first time that I actually use it on a person. Also that high quality and super dense chakra armor will cause me some problem. As for you prize, I have to turn it down because it suck, Fune o Noroi: Kurayami Shiryoku (Curse Vessel: Dark Sight)," He said temporary blind nearby enemy and allies alike because he didn't have time to mark his target. "Shinigami no Shukakau (Harvest of the Death God)," Naruto cried follow by a thud that was hear by everyone. Once their vision return they saw Naruto was back with his allies and one of the Fuhyo (Pawn) units was lying on the ground to never get up again.

"With Kakugyo (Bishop) and Ryuma (Promoted Bishop) units gone we might be able to finally bring him down," Obito said.

"Yeah but what did you do to that Fuhyo (Pawn) unit?" Kakashi asked.

"Use a Jutsu that the Shinigami taught me to free trap souls and considering what each Legion is using as it power source it seem like a smart move. Good thing I caught that one by surprise because if he saw it come he might of fight against it, taking time and effort to take it down," Naruto said.

"There still more left to take down and you use a lot of your chakra to summoned two boss summons and an army of allies, not to mention taking down three of them. Do you have enough energy to fight?" Kakashi asked.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Technique)," Naruto said in response summoning two regular size tiger with sword at their side. "Yeah and I can always tap into Kurama chakra if need to. Good thing I brought some of my custom soldier pill with me," he said take out one to eat.

"Custom soldier pill, is there something special about them?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes they are chewable, come in many tasty flavors and replenish chakra more efficiently than normal soldier pill," he replied.

"Right making chewable and tasty better is important," Kakashi deadpanned.

"Of course anyways let the boss summons take on the big guys, while I and my friends here…" he said point at the new tigers summon, "…will take on golden boy, while you old timer take on Dr. Pedo."

"I'm not a pedo," Frankenstein yelled.

"We're not that old!" Kakashi, Asuma, Obito and Zabuza yelled.

"Right and the other take on the rest," Naruto said.

"Are you sure you can take him on?" Kakashi asked.

"Maybe but I might have to pull some of my dad's old move, so if anyone asked I learn them from you," Naruto said.

"Right let give them everything we got," Kakashi said as they went to face their designated opponents.

Omake:

~Academy Days Naruto 101 Ways of Getting Detention: Number 51 to 60 Don't Worry I'm Certified~

_Number 51 Doctor Uzumaki _

"Okay class today we will be learning about…" Iruka began but was interrupted when Choji suddenly collapsed.

"Someone gets me a doctor," Choji uttered weakly.

"Is there a doctor in the house?" a worried Shikamaru asked.

"I'm a doctor," Naruto said standing up.

"Really now," said a skeptically Iruka.

"Yes, I have a license to practice medicine," he replied showing him his certification.

"Since when?" Iruka asked.

"Since the end of last term, I have been taking night class at a local community college to earn a medical degree," Naruto replied.

"You attended class willingly?" Iruka asked raising an eyebrow. "Wait there's a local community college around here and you can earn a medical degree from it. Most importantly they give you of all people a medical degree?" he asked.

"Yes, now if you don't mind I need to diagnosis Choji's ailment," Naruto said checking over Choji. "Hmm Choji, what did you have for breakfast?" he asked.

"Well I had some pancakes, waffles, muffins, bacons, sausages…" Choji listed off.

"Okay I got it," Naruto interrupted. "You are suffering from…" he said take a dramatic pause, "…an acute cause of indigestion from over eating."

"Stomach ache, you really don't need a degree to diagnose someone with stomach ache," Iruka deadpanned.

"Well yeah but how about treating it?" Naruto asked.

"You don't need one for that too," Iruka replied.

"Well anyways elevate his leg and give him 4cc of ginger mix with hot water and honey," Naruto stated.

"Naruto you have detention," Iruka said pinching the bridge of his nose.

"For treating a fellow student of an illness they have?" Naruto asked.

"No for attending and passing a course. Wow I never thought I would say that about you," he sighed. "Now that we know of your success as a college student, your grade at the academy would improve right?"

"Don't count on it," Naruto replied.

_Number 52 Surgeon and Their Drama_

"Scalpels," Naruto said to one of the surgical interns that surround him in class.

"Scalpels,' he said handling him a scalpels so he can continue the operation.

"Okay I'm about to make the incision," Naruto said as he brought the scalpel down.

"Naruto what are you doing during class," Iruka asked.

"Putting my surgical license to good which I got from the same community college that I got my medical license," Naruto said.

"You consider cutting a turkey is a good use of your surgical license?" Iruka asked while muttering, "How the hell do you keep on earning these degrees?"

"Yes, I do consider that making the best turkey sandwich is a good use of my talent and also the college has a lot of good programs for it students," Naruto replied.

"How about these peoples, what are they are doing here?" Iruka asked.

"They are surgical interns. As for why they are here I don't really know, they just show up for some reason when I was about to make my lunch," he said with a shrugged.

"You!" A red-haired woman said pointing at Naruto. She then marched up to Naruto and slapped him.

"Ouch! Who are you and what was that for?" he asked.

"I'm the hot-shot cardiologist, Dr. Red, and that for making believe that I can fall in love again," Dr. Red said with tears in her eyes.

"What?!" a confused Naruto exclaimed. Then a blonde-hair woman walked up to Naruto and slapped him too.

"I'm the eager and young intern, Dr. Yellow, and that for making me believe in myself," she said.

"Huh?" Naruto said getting more confuse. Next a chestnut-hair woman walked up and slapped him also.

"I am the kind-hearted pediatrician, Dr. Brown, and that for giving me the best night of my life," she said.

"What! I didn't do it, I couldn't have done it, I'm still a virgin beside I still think girls are icky and have cooties," he stated.

"Of course we did do it silly, what I meant was the dinner, the date and the kiss. You are a really great kisser," Dr. Brown said with a blush on her face.

"I wanted to tell you that I have always admired you," Hinata said coming up to him and slapping him too because she didn't want to lose to the other three.

"Okay what the hell is happening, have I been living a double life that I don't know about," Naruto exclaimed.

"The only thing that is happening is you and how you always make my heartbeat fast when I'm next to you," Dr. Red said with her hand on her heart.

"And how everything is better when you are around," Dr. Yellow said looking deeply into Naruto's eyes.

"Also your lips…" said a drooling Dr. Brown who was in La-La Land.

"Naruto-kun," Hinata said poking her figure together.

"Iruka-sensei can you give me detention now, I need a quiet place to think and figure out what the hell is going?" Naruto asked and then he went to his corner of woe.

"Okay Naruto," Iruka said patting him on the back of his shoulder while Naruto rock back and forth muttering "What the hell is going I don't remember any of this" over and over again.

_Number 53 The Mind of a Neurologist _

"Let see, today I have to remove a brain tumor so I can't think about my love life that I unexpectedly gained. Seriously where the hell did those three come from," Naruto muttered.

"Um Naruto," Iruka said.

"The cardiologist Dr. Red seem to be able to touch peoples heart both physically and metaphorically including my. And the new intern Dr. Yellow is always there to brighten my day," Naruto continued to mused.

"Naruto, hello there," Iruka said.

"Also there the kind-hearted pediatrician Dr. Brown who always there when you need a helping hand or someone to talk to. And my patient Hinata-chan…" Naruto said in a thinking pose while Hinata who was sitting next to him pass out when she hear him say her name.

"Naruto," Iruka said.

"Wait Hinata-chan is my friend and I shouldn't think about her that way. Wait what way am I thinking about her?" Naruto said with a confuse look.

"Naruto!" Iruka exclaimed.

"No the important thing here is where the hell did those three comes from and how the hell did I ended up in a what I believe to be an imaginary relationship. No wait, what's important is the brain surgery that I have this afternoon, no wait ramen," Naruto said getting a headache from thinking too hard.

"NARUTO!" Iruka yelled.

"Huh what is it Iruka-sensei?" Naruto said.

"You were interrupting class again because you were thinking aloud again," Iruka sighed. "So you have detention again."

"I got to stop doing that," Naruto said.

"So have you figured out where those three came from?" Iruka asked.

"No and it is giving me a major headache," Naruto said rubbing his head.

"Naruto" "Dr. Uzumaki" "McBlondie" Dr. Red, Brown and Yellow said.

"McBlondie great they came up with a nickname for me," Naruto groaned as he smacked his head on his desk.

"Just lay there and sleep off the headache," Iruka said patting his shoulder.

_Number 54 A Cardiologist's Romance_

"Choose me, pick me, love me" Dr. Yellow said in front of Naruto with tears in her eyes.

"Um I kind of…," Naruto tried to replied.

"No choose me because you complete me," Dr. Red interrupted him.

"Now not a good…" Naruto sighed.

"No choose me, because you make me feel alive, because you know how to make a girl feel like she's a woman," Dr. Brown said seductively.

"Still a virgin, still think girl are icky and have cooties," Naruto replied. Hinata, who was not good with words, was holding a boom box over her head as music was being play. "Thanks for the music Hinata-chan it is very relaxing. Now if you don't mind girls, three of which I don't know how you became involved in my life, I'm very busy right now and have to finish this operation," he said with his hand in someone's chest.

"I didn't know that Mizuki needed a new heart," Iruka stated.

"He doesn't, it just that I didn't have a body to show the med students how to perform an open heart surgery, which I have to do being the top license cardiologist in this village. So Mizuki here volunteer for the job," Naruto said.

"He volunteers for this?" Iruka asked.

"Well he took the cupcake that was next to the sign that said 'Free Cupcake for Medical Study' or did it just said 'Free Cupcake' anyway he got his cupcake, granted I knock him out with a bat before he got to eat it but in the end the cupcake was in his hand," Naruto said sagely.

"Naruto detention," Iruka sighed.

"Is it because a cupcake does not count as a legitimate contract?" Naruto asked.

"No it's because you didn't let Mizuki finish his cupcake, you must always let them finish the cupcake," Iruka said ignoring the fact that one of his student is using a fellow teacher as a medical dummy but to be fair Mizuki is a jerk.

"Okay I will remember that next time," Naruto replied.

"As long as you understand that," Iruka said learning that it is pointless to stop him from doing it again.

_Number 55 Times of Death_

"The time of death is 5:50 p.m.," Naruto said looking down in sadness. "Well, all I can do is gives it a proper burial as a license undertaker."

"Naruto it's a cup of ramen," Iruka sighed.

"Not any cup of ramen but a super amazing special supreme miso cup of ramen, it was so young and probably very delicious but now I will never know," Naruto cried with anime tears.

"You can get another cup of it," Iruka stated.

"It won't be the same, each cup of ramen is special in its own unique way," Naruto said in his corner of woe.

"You have detention for this weirdness. Hey where are these three female doctors that usually come to declare their love for you?" Iruka asked.

"Well Dr. Red was able to mend her broken heart and found new love in an old friend at small village clinic. Dr. Yellow joins medic without boarder and fell in love with a fellow colleague. As for Dr. Brown she falls in love with a single father of one of her beloved patient. But in the end I still don't know where the hell they came from or how they are involved in my life that I don't know about," Naruto cried.

"There, there Naruto-kun everything will be alright," Hinata said patting him on the shoulder.

"Thank Hinata-chan I'm glad that you are part of my life," Naruto said wiping his eyes.

"Glad…a part of your life…" Hinata muttered before fainting.

"Hinata-chan NOOOO! Don't die on me," Naruto cried.

"Naruto you worry me sometime," Iruka sighed.

_Number 56 Building Bridges _

"Communication is keys in any relationship," Naruto who was wearing eyeglasses and had a notebook and pen in his hand said to the group of couples as he laid back in his a reclining chair. "Okay time up we will continue this next time."

"Thank you Dr. Uzmaki you save our marriage," a man with his wife said to Naruto.

"Um Naruto what are you using the classroom for now?" Iruka asked.

"Couples therapy," he replied.

"Why?" Iruka asked.

"Because as a license therapist it is my duty to help people build bridges of bond in their relationship," Naruto said pushing his glasses up making them shine.

"You're a license therapist?" Iruka asked.

"Yes see," Naruto said showing Iruka his degree.

"Naruto this is a degree for civil engineering, you are building the wrong kind of bridges," Iruka deadpanned.

"Oh well, since I'm in a helping couple mood I think I will go and build a bridge for people to take long romantic stroll on," Naruto said wearing a hardhat and a tool belt.

"Okay but when you're done you will have detention for practicing unlicensed therapy with others," Iruka said.

_Number 57 Mr. Uzumaki _

"Okay class, I want you all to take out your book and do this," Naruto said as he ripped the book in half.

"Class don't and Naruto what are you doing?" Iruka asked.

"Teaching students that what they learned in life cannot be found in books but in your heart," he said pumping his fist up in the air. His speech cause Maito Gai to appear and scream 'Youth' which earned him a roundhouse kick from Naruto sending him out of the window and across Konoha.

"That was weird anyway what make you think that you can teach a class huh?" Iruka asked.

"My teaching degree," Naruto replied.

"You have a teaching degree yet somehow you are failing my class," Iruka deadpanned.

"It takes great skill to do such a thing," Naruto said sagely. "Anyways class let make some explosive!"

"We won't study explosive until we cover sabotage. Now get back to your seat and you will have morning detention for being an underachiever," Iruka said.

"There nothing wrong with underachievement," Naruto exclaimed.

"No but I expected a lot from you," Iruka said.

_Number 58 007_

"Shaken, not stirred barkeep," Naruto said.

"It's milkshake of course it will be shaken," the barkeeper deadpanned.

"Naruto what is a bar doing in the classroom?" Iruka asked.

"They sell milkshake at bars?" Shikamaru asked.

"Can I have a banana strawberry smoothie?" Choji asked.

"Can we get back to the question at hand please?" Iruka asked.

"Don't know, it was here when I got here. All I know is that I suppose to meet someone here for my assignment," Naruto said.

"Assignment, what kind of assignment and who are you supposed to be meeting here?" Iruka asked.

"If I tell you I would have to kill you, all you need to know is that I have a license to spy awesomely. As for whom I'm meeting…" Naruto replied but was interrupted by a strange man with a briefcase.

"Ah Agent Whisker, here is your assignment," the strange said giving Naruto the briefcase then he disappeared.

"Let see what I have to do?" Naruto said opening the briefcase.

"Agent Whisker your mission if you chose to accepted it…" the voice from the briefcase said as it began to explain the assignment "…this message along with the bar will self-destruct in five second," the voice finish off with.

"Crap! Everyone takes cover," Naruto said ducking down dramatically. Everyone followed as the bar along with the briefcase exploded. "Well I'm off to save the world from some evil mastermind," Naruto said dusting himself off.

"What about the damage to the classroom from the explosion?" Iruka asked.

"What damage?" he asked.

"That damage…waits what the hell is going on?" Iruka asked pointing the no longer damage classroom.

"There's nothing to see here go back to what you were doing," a man in a dark suit wear black glasses said.

"Naruto you have detention for joining a secret government agency," Iruka said only to end up facing Straw Dummy Naruto holding a sign that said 'Naruto Uzumaki is not here right now, please leave a message after the end of this sentence'.

"Damn what am I going to do about that kid, any idea Straw Dummy Naruto?" Iruka asked.

'Not a clue' was the replied that was on Straw Dummy Naruto's sign board.

_Number 59 Iron Stomach Chef _

"Welcome to Iron Stomach Chef. I'm your host Inuzuka Kiba," Kiba said to the audience.

"Was it necessary to host it in the classroom?" Iruka asked.

"That question is irrelevant right now," Kiba said.

"Fine than how about why are you the host for this? Also remind me to give you, Naruto because I know he is the one behind this along with the rest of you boys detention for this," Iruka said.

"Aw man!" Naruto, Kiba, Shikamaru, Choji and yes even Shino groaned.

"Anyway I'm the host because of my good look," Kiba said.

"I thought that you were made the host because you were too stupid to do anything else," Shino stated.

"Shut up Shino. Now introducing our Iron Stomach Chefs, Iron Stomach Chef Iwa," Kiba said pointing to the chef dressed in brown clothing, "Iron Stomach Chef Kumo," pointing to the chef in yellow. "Iron Stomach Chef Kiri," pointing to the chef in blue, "Iron Stomach Chef Suna," pointing to the chef in green "and Iron Stomach Chef Konoha," he said pointing to the chef in red.

"Why aren't the ANBU taking people from Iwa and Kumo away, aren't we enemy with them?" Shikamaru asked.

"And Kiba, you didn't mention their name because you forgot them didn't you?" Shino asked.

"We are only enemy with the ninja from those places also shut up Shino," Kiba yelled. "Now introducing our contestants for today show Naruto and these two guys," he said point to Naruto and the other two chefs.

"You forgot the other two contestants name didn't you, you baka," Shino deadpanned.

"I'm just glad that he didn't forget my name," Naruto stated.

"Okay both of you can go and die. Anyways on the count of three each contestant will start. 1, 2, 3 began," Kiba said.

Naruto begin by launching all the fruits up in the air than taking his knifes begin to sliced them at high speed. He then launched a stuff chicken at the roasted pig causing a giant dust cloud to form. With a pair kitchen knife in hand he jump into the dust cloud and the sound of cutting, chopping and frying could be heard.

"Unbelievable folk Uzumaki is unleashing his mad fruit ninja skills follow by his crazy angry bird technique. Wait folk I think he is done," Kiba said as the dust clear and Naruto prepare a banquet fit for a king while the other two contestants barely began. "How did you create such a feast in just five minute?" Kiba said pointing the microphone at Naruto.

"Because I am a ninja and a ninja is a master of the culinary art," he replied.

"I thought it was the killing art, anyhow Uzumaki is the winner since the judges declared that the other two are not ninja enough to be Iron Stomach Chef. Tune in next to see if Uzumaki can defend his Iron Stomach Chef title," Kiba said out to the audience.

"Actually this show is being cancelled because the producer stated that the host, Kiba, was too stupid for the audience to handle," Shino told them.

"I hate you all," Kiba said in his corner of woe.

"Well back to the community college to find a new career path," Naruto said with book in hand as he whistles a tune as he walked out the door.

_Number 60 Animal Tamer _

"Okay bears you need to work on your footwork, tigers on the other hand need to work on your jazz hand," Naruto instructed the animals there.

"Naruto what did I tell you about bring in wild animal in the classroom last time?" Iruka asked.

"But they're not wild animals, they're highly train animal and as a certified animal trainer I decided that we are going to be entering the talent show so we're practicing for it," Naruto said while the animal there nodded their head in agreement.

"And you are using the classroom to practice why?" Iruka asked.

"Because we need a place to practice without worrying about the competition spying on us and this place is the last place they would look for us," Naruto said.

"Naruto this is a classroom, it is a place of learning," Iruka said.

"Only if you let yourself, only if you let yourself Iruka," Naruto said sagely.

"Naruto detention," Iruka sighed.

Orignal Jutsu List

Suiton: Seiketsu Ni Naru Kawa (Water Release: Cleansing River)

Rank: E

Description: A weak water jutsu that's use to wash away contaminate off of oneself or the surrounding of oneself.

Jutsu Name:Raiton: Denkai (Lightning Release: Electric Field)

Rank: B

Description: A strong lightning jutsu that burst outward from the user's body to shock, stun and damage the opponent.

Jutsu Name: Raiton: Shizunami (Lighting Release: Static Wave)

Rank: D

Description: An average lightning jutsu attack that send a burst of electricity toward the opponent to shock, stun and damage.

Futon: Kiritori Fuhai (Wind Release: Decaying Cut)

Rank: D

Description: An average wind jutsu attack that is use to disarm the opponent by completely destroying or disintegrating their weapons and tools.

Futon: Zencho-Fu (Wind Release: Ominous Wind)

Rank: B

Description: A strong assassin wind jutsu that silently slice up the opponent to chunks of body parts by warping them in invisible thread of wind blade.

Futon: Hiko Fujin no Jutsu (Wind Release: Flying Wind God Technique)

Rank: A

Description: A wind technique that cloak the user in wind-natured chakra granting them the ability to fly while at the same time reduce some damage to the user from opponent's physical and some ninjutsu attacks, also augmenting the user's speed and wind attacks.

Futon: Mahha-soku (Wind Release: Mach Speed)

Rank: C

Description: A wind technique that used wind-natured chakra as a propulsion mechanism to boost the user's flying speed. It is used after implementing Hiko Fujin no Jutsu (Wind Release: Flying Wind God Technique)

Futon: Senpu Boei (Wind Release: Whirlwind Defense)

Rank: A

Description: An offensive and defensive wind jutsu that create a wind barrier that block attacks that are coming at the user while at the same time grind anything to dust that caught within the jutsu.

Futon: Shinshoku (Wind Release: Erosion)

Rank: A

Description: A powerful assassin wind jutsu attack the send a blast of wind that grind and cut the opponent to nothingness.

Shakuton: Arechi no Moe (Scorch Release: Blazing Wasteland)

Rank: C

Description: An area effect scorch type jutsu that heat the environment making it hot and dry. Created a condition that makes the opponent difficult to fight in and cause them to dehydrate faster.

Jinton: Fantomusutoraiku (Swift Release: Phantom Strike)

Rank: C

Description: A high speed feint attack that cause the opponent to attack the user's afterimage and then the user attack at the opponent blind spot.

Jinton: Tokkan (Swift Release: Rush)

Rank: C

Description: A high speed linear attack that cause damage in the path the user travel.

Kage no Ito (Shadow Thread)

Rank: C

Description: Dark shadowlike thread that is used by Frankenstein to bind, ripe out or sew together body parts.

Puroguramu: Terepotoare (Program: Teleporting Array)

Rank: A

Description: A technique use by Legion's Kakugyo (Bishop) unit to call forth five additional Legion's unit.

Chakurashotto (Chakra Shot)

Rank: C

Description: An attack used by Kyosha (Lance), Keima (Knight) and other firearm arm Legion units. The firearm fired a burst of chakra blast.

Shinigami no Shukakau (Harvest of the Death God)

Rank: A

Description: An attack used by those who work for the Shinigami to free trap souls, though if the trap souls refuse to leave or fight the user before the completion of the jutsu, it will take time, effort and chakra to free the soul.

A/N: Sayonara no Jutsu


	14. Chapter 14Clown Violence is Cruel but H

Land of Wave and Zabuza's Sword that Can't Cut through Reinforce Rice Paper Arc:

Chapter 14~Clown Violence is Cruel but Hilarious~

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me nor dose any of the other random reference in this story

"normal Speech"

'thoughts'

**Demon and other uber being**

_The Bridge_

_Boss Summons vs Tokin Unit & Behemoths_

"**So we have to deal with robot-boy and the overgrown cows huh?"** Byakko said.

"**Guess so,"** Soul replied.

"**Fun, Futon: Kaze-ju no Hoko (Wind Release: Wind Beast Roar),"** Byakko muttered as he unleashing a mighty roar that blast the Behemoths and Tokin (Promoted Pawn) unit back away from the bridge while Soul took to the sky.

"**Katon: Hi Hitoyasumi (Fire Release: Fire Breather)"** Soul said unleashing a stream of flame at the enemies.

"Raiton: Inazuma (Lightning Release: Lightning Bolt)," one of the Behemoth growled as it send a blast of lightning at both summons in retaliation.

"Chakura Imochi (Chakra Blast)," the Tokin (Promoted Pawn) unit said as its hand began to glow before it fired a beam of chakra at them from it. Byakko dodge the Tokin (Promoted Pawn) unit's attack before drawing his sword and charged at them. He left gashes on both of the Behemoths when he got between them and did a diagonal slash with his sword. He then jump backward to avoid the mechanical fist of the Tokin (Promoted Pawn) unit and dodged the Behemoth on his right that was storming in at him but was slam by the Behemoth on his left. That Behemoth was strike by Soul when he dive-bomb at it then Soul tail whip the other Behemoth with his bone tail however the Tokin (Promoted Pawn) unit strike him with a bone breaking punch.

"**Katon: Hi no Tama (Fire Release: Ball of Flame),"** Soul said spewing multiply orbs of fire in the air that floated toward the enemy badly burning them. Next he bit down on one of the Behemoths and flings it at the other two opponents.

"**Futon: Kaze-ju Surasshu (Wind Style: Wind Beast Slash),"** Byakko said sending blades of wind at the fallen enemies making claw like scratches appeared on them. **"If you light the fire then I will fan the flame,"** he said to Soul.

"**Hai, Katon: Rei Ryu Moka (Fire Release: Spirit Dragon Inferno),"** Soul replied as he breathe out a torrent of blue fire that scorch the very air, land and river.

"**Futon: Kaze-ju Kyodaina Hoko (Wind Release: Wind Beast Mighty Roar),"** Byakko roared loudly creating a corporal wind tiger of the same size as him. The wind-tiger was then engulfed by the blue inferno when it touched the flames, setting it ablaze changing it to a blazing blue fire-tiger attack. When the combine attacks strike the two Behemoth the blue flame-tiger that was form let loose a deafening roar as it exploded burning and blasting the Behemoths to smithereens. Then Byakko, using his claw and sword, and Soul, using his own claw and tail, unleashed their fury on the Tokin (Promoted Pawn) unit tearing it apart piece by piece until there was nothing left of him but a pile of junk.

"**That take care of it,"** Soul said spitting out the Tokin (Promoted Pawn) unit detach arm.

"**Yeah hopeful the kid can take care of the rest of them,"** Byakko said sheathing his katana then both summonses dispel themselves since they were done with their battle and on their last drop of chakra.

_Genins, Fallen & Hellhounds vs Runners, Underlings Fuhyo, Keima & Kyosha Units _

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Technique)," Sasuke said summoning forth a flock of hawks. "Aids us in our battle against our enemies," he told them.

"**Hai, Sasuke-sama,"** the hawks replied.

"Raiton: Dengeki Senjin (Lighting Release: Blitzkrieg Blade)," Sasuke said slashing his Chokuto diagonally downward releasing a earth shattering lightning attack cutting down a few Runners and Underlings while blasting back a Keima (Knight) unit.

"Kagemane no Jutsu (Shadow Possession Technique)," Shikamaru said binding a Kyosha (Lance) unit and a pair of Fuhyo (Pawn) units.

"Nikudan Sensha (Human Bullet Tank)," Choji said mowing down the bind units.

"Chakura Gazo (Chakra Shot)," the Kyosha (Lance) unit said striking back after it pick itself up from the ground follow by the two Fuhyo (Pawn) units. Ino and Sakura were backing up the three genin by sniping down the enemies with kunai and shuriken. Naruto's summoned skeleton warriors, the Fallen, on the other hand were battling the enemies with their sword, battleaxes, spears and any other kind of weapons that they were wielding. The Hellhounds bite, claw and pounce at any enemies that they can their hands on. Sasuke's hawk summons dive-bombs, pecks and unleashed their elemental attacks from the sky when they found an opening while the battle rages on.

"We need to end this fast," Shikamaru said dodging a chakra shot from the Keima (Knight) unit.

"Katon: Funka (Fire Release: Eruption)," Sasuke said slamming his Chokuto down on the ground causing the Fuhyo (Pawn) units that surrounded him to be blasted by a fiery explosion. "Katon: Nobi o Arekuruu (Fire Release: Raging Wildfire)," he said following the attack with a horizontal circular swing as his now red hot Chokuto cleave the Fuhyo (Pawn) units in half and igniting them on fire originating from where they were cut. The fire consumed their entire body destroying all three of the Fuhyo (Pawn) units. However the attack was too much for the Chokuto as it began to crack and then break in half. "There goes my blade," Sasuke said looking down at his shattered weapon. "Anyways I guess Sakura and I can use those super awesome secret elemental techniques that Naruto created for us to use on the remaining enemies," he stated remembering what happen a few days ago.

_Flashback no Jutsu_

_A Few Day Ago_

"Alright my beloved teammate, I have gifts for two of my closest genin comrades of team 7," Naruto said to his other teammate.

"Sakura, you and me are the only genins of team 7, dobe," Sasuke deadpanned.

"Which is a good thing because if there are other genins on the team you two would most likely be at the bottom of the list of my closest teammate," Naruto replied.

"That's not a nice thing to said," Sakura stated.

"Considering that one of my teammate is the king of emo world and the other is his number one fan-girl, the only reason you two are at the top of the list is because there is no competition," Naruto deadpanned.

"We gotten better at not acting like that," Sakura muttered.

"Which I'm grateful for and which is why I am rewarding you two, Haruno-san," Naruto replied. "And since we are training on our elemental affinity I decided to give you some awesome overkill ridiculously destructive jutsu based on those affinities."

"So you know a spirit that knows some powerful lightning and/or fire jutsu?" Sasuke asked.

"No the lightning and fire jutsus I am giving you are some of the ones that I created myself," Naruto replied.

"You created some lightning and fire jutsus how come we never see you used them in battle before?" Sasuke asked.

"It because I have difficulty using lightning and fire jutsus, I end up using too much chakra, have trouble control the jutsu or the jutsu is weaker than it should be. I think it because I have an affinity for wind, considering the relationship it has to those two elements, that I have this problem," Naruto mused.

"Well it is really generous of you to teach us these techniques though we kind of feel bad that we are not returning the favor especially our deadbeat sensei," Sakura said.

"Hey I'm teaching you how to master your elemental affinity doesn't that count for something?" Kakashi asked.

"You were promoted from total useless to deadbeat," Naruto replied.

"Alright once we get back to Konoha I will teach you everything I know and pull some strings to cover for thing that I don't know," Kakashi declared.

"Shouldn't you done that in the first place?" Naruto deadpanned.

"Well I was waiting for you guys to overcome the issues that plague your life, meaning Sakura's fan-girl tendency, Sasuke's broody emo obsessive revenge antsy thingy and Naruto's borderline insanity. But now that Sakura is less of a fan-girl, Sasuke is no longer revenge obsess and Naruto wasn't that much of a problem to begin with I think we can up your guys training," Kakashi said thoughtfully.

"Meaning you don't want us to torture you for slacking off," Naruto stated.

"I prefer calling it taking it slow and easy but yes," Kakashi said.

"Anyways for you teme I give one S-rank, five A-rank, and five B-rank fire and lightning jutsu each. As for you, Haruno-san, I give you the same ranks and number of jutsu but for water and earth each instead of fire and lightning. Practices so you don't end up killing yourself when you use them, anyways these super awesome secret elemental techniques are yours to keep," Naruto said.

"Super awesome secret elemental techniques, couldn't you come up with a better name for it?" Sasuke deadpanned.

"Yes but nothing I come up with was on the level of 'super awesome secret elemental techniques'," Naruto replied.

_End Flashback no Jutsu _

_Back with the Genins and Others_

"He may be borderline insane and an idiot at time but the jutsus he comes up with are not that bad however there's no way in hell I telling him that," Sasuke muttered. "Sakura do you have those elemental jutsu that Naruto give us master?"

"Just the B and A-rank jutsus, none of the S-rank ones," she replied.

"And I'm capable of doing one S-rank jutsu currently," Sasuke said.

"Katon: Kaen Hosha-ki (Fire Release: Flamethrower)," the Keima (Knight) units said as their mechanical horses unleashing a stream of fire at the genins while the Kyosha (Lance) units shot at them with their chakra firearm.

"Doton: Ishi-hei (Earth Release: Stone Soldier)," Sakura said creating a stone warrior with a lance and a large shield that block the enemies attacks. "Suiton: Ryu Maki (Water Release: Waterspout)," she cried out calling forth a whirling vortex of water that pull in the remaining Kyosha (Lance) units.

"Raiton: Soto Rairyu-dan (Lightning Release: Two-headed Lightning Dragon Bullet)," Sasuke said creating a twin-head dragon made of electricity that warp both of it long neck around the waterspout in opposite direction powering the water attack. The combine attacks electrocuted all the Kyosha (Lance) units bring them down for the count. "Shikamaru bind the remaining two mounted units, Choji get me close to them," Sasuke ordered.

"Troublesome, Kagemane no Jutsu (Shadow Possession Technique)," Shikamaru said stopping the enemies movement with his shadow.

"Bubun Baika no Jutsu (Partial Expansion Technique)," Choji said enlarging his arm and hand. Sasuke jumped on the palm of Choji's hand, Choji then launch Sasuke up in the air and to land in front of the Keima (Knight) units as Shikamaru shadow receded.

"Katon: Fushicho Fukkatsu (Fire Release: Phoenix Rebirth)," Sasuke called out as flames engulfed him then a red large blazing fire bird emerge from the flames. The fiery bird charged at the two remaining Keima (Knight) units incinerating them to ashes. Around the genins and the summons were taking down the last of Frankenstein's creations, once done the summons dismiss themselves.

"That the last of them and from the look of thing the boss summons won their battle," Sakura stated then suddenly the sky was set ablaze.

"And from the look of things Naruto is living up to his destructive nature," Sasuke deadpanned as he look up at the red fiery sky created by his teammate.

_Naruto & the Jonins vs Frankenstien & the Kinsho Unit_

"Naruto?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah, Ero-Kakashi-sensei," Naruto replied.

"I wish you stop calling me that," Kakashi cried with anime tears. "Anyways we are facing two ridiculously strong opponents aren't we?" he asked.

"Who are also S-ranked immortals that are on the Shinigami hit list," Obito added.

"So do you have a plan or are we going to wing it?" Kakashi asked.

"Of course I have a plan," Naruto replied. "And it's this, CHARGE!" he exclaimed as he flew straight at Frankenstien and the Kinsho (Gold General) unit to only be punch in the face by the mechanical soldier causing everyone to sweat-drop.

"Pathetic, did you think that would work on me meat-bag?" Kinsho (Gold General) unit scoffed.

"Of course not this is only a delay tactic, Bunshin Daibakuha (Shadow Clone Explosion)," another Naruto said appearing next to Kakashi while the Naruto that was punch in face exploded consuming the enemies in the blast.

"You caught us by surprise but it's going to take more than a single explosion to bring us down," a singed Frankenstein said as the dust cleared. 

"Who said it was only a single explosion I set up for you guys," Naruto stated with a smirked on his face.

"Naruto you're not thinking of…" Kakashi began but was interrupted by a light tremor followed by a loud thunderous sound of an explosion.

"I came up with some new themes for my exploding clone series that I dying to try out," Naruto said as a penguin waddle up to the enemies and exploded.

_Meanwhile in Akatsuki's Hidden Lair_

Deidara was looking in the direction of Wave with a tear in his eye. "Someone out there is preforming a great performance of art," he said wipe the tear out of his eye. "Art is a bang, un" Deidara said pumping his fist up in the air.

"Art is eternal you brainless twit," Sasori stated.

"Both of you shut the hell up. We are not here for your stupid art argument," Pein exclaimed.

"Tobi is not arguing because Tobi is a good boy," Tobi the orange masked member stated.

"That's nice Tobi," Pein sighed while his real body which was in a hidden room was bang his head complaining about working with a bunch of Baka. "Now since everyone is here, I want to inform you all to continue gathering information on each of your target and if you get the chance capture then," he stated.

"Understood and we shall all follow those orders expect for a few weeks during this summer, where I will be cashing in my vacation time to attend the Pocky Festival," Itachi stated in a serious tone.

"We get vacation time!" the other members exclaimed while Pein eyes were twitching madly.

"Our goals are too important to waste on Pocky," Pein stated.

"Nothing is more important than Pocky," Itachi said with a tone dripping in venom, "beside the festival is being held in Konoha in conjunction with the Chunin Exam, so I can check up on the Kyuubi after the festival. And if you don't let me go, I will report you to the Evil Organization Union," he stated.

"We have a union!" the others exclaimed again.

"We're not really an evil organization but a world peace organization, our methods may be a tad radical and we may be label as extremist but it's still for peace damn it," Pein stated.

"Yeah but we have enough qualifications to be file as one, beside it count as a benefit for taxes," Itachi shrugged.

"True," Pein stated, "and fine you can go on your vacation but take Kisame with you," he sighed.

"Okay," Itachi replied.

"Now next on our agenda is coming up with a new fashionable design for our uniform? What?" Pein exclaimed staring at Konan.

"What! I'm a women and I want to act like a girl from time to time so I can feel pretty," Konan stated.

"Must be her time of month again," Pein muttered.

"What was that," she growled.

"Nothing, just saying you're very beautiful today," Pein replied quickly putting his hand up in defense.

"That what I thought," Konan stated in a firm tone. "Oh and thank you for the compliment," she giggled while turning her face away from him to blushing and poking her finger together like a certain Hyuga.

While the members continue their discussion their orange masked member, Tobi, was plotting his diabolical schemes. "Tobi is a good boy," Tobi uttered his evil catchphrase.

_Back to Naruto and the Others_

'Honk, Honk BOOM!' as a clown riding a unicycle rode up to the two immortals and blew up.

"I may be against clown violence but I can't help but find it hilarious," Naruto stated.

"So are you going to just keep blowing them up with your clones?" Kakashi asked.

"Nah, it became less entertain a minute ago, Kai (release)," Naruto said as he channel some chakra through Mugen no Sora (Endless Sky) causing a fox's skull to appeared. It then circle around the staff until it settled on top of it as a blade form at the bottom of it mouth making Mugen no Sora (Endless Sky) look like a death scythe with a fox skull on top of it.

"That's new," Kakashi commented.

"It's Mugen no Sora (Endless Sky) release form, I called it Mugen Sora no Kitsune (Fox of the Endless Sky). I don't use it in Konoha much because of how it looks," Naruto stated.

"Yeah that would freak most of the villagers, all things considering. So I guess that that form give you a power boost or something?" Kakashi asked.

"Well I think it might boost my elemental and physical attack power, I wasn't really paying any attention during the explanation but there's no denying that it is really badass," Naruto stated.

"The Mugen Sora no Kitsune (Fox of the Endless Sky) boosted your elemental, physical and Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) Kekkei Genkai attack power. Do remember that for next time," Obito stated.

"What the hell, are we in a RPG," Asuma deadpanned.

"Less taking more attacking, we have some dangerous enemies to deal with here," Zubuza growled.

"Okay, don't get your ninja panties in a twist," Naruto stated causing Zubaza to have a tick mark. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique)," he said creating two clones.

"It doesn't matter how many exploding clone you use, you won't defeat us," Legion stated.

"Though constantly being blowup is kind of getting annoying," Frankenstein said.

"Well then let try this," Naruto said unsealing two kunai with seals written on the handle which he give to the two clones. "You know what to do," he stated as the two clones disappear to only appear behind the enemies. "Konohagakure Hiden Tijutsu Ogi: Sennen Goroshi: Roketto-ban (Leaf Village Secret Finger Jutsu: One Thousand Years of Death: Rocket Version)," both clones said at the same time as they both shove their kunai up the enemies' rear end launching them up in the air with the kunai stuck to their behinds. Suddenly the bottom of the kunai's handle ignited and them burst into flames to blasting them higher into the air as Jonins swear-drop at the attack that was used.

"I really regret teaching him that attack, well more use on him than teach him," Kakashi muttered.

"I don't think you can called that an attack, it more of a sexually harassment than an attack," Zubaza deadpanned.

"Futon: Genzai Josho Kiryu (Wind Release: Rising Air Current)," one of the clone said as he flew up in the air at high speed past the two airborne enemies drag them even higher before dispelling.

"Use your most power wind or fire jutsu when I say so," Naruto told them as he watch the enemies fall back down to earth. "Now Katon: Sora o Moyashi (Fire Release: Burning Sky)," Naruto said setting the sky ablaze along with the enemies.

"Futon: Kaze-ju Toboe (Wind Release: Wind Beast Howl)," the clone said using the continuous sonic wind attack to fan the flame before it dispel.

"Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique)," Kakashi and Obito said together fueling the fire attack.

"Futon: Daitoppa (Wind Release: Great Breakthrough)," Asuma said adding more power to the attack. Once the fire clear two burnt bodies crashed landed on the ground.

"That hurts," Frankenstein said getting up flacking off some burned skins and putting a few flames on his clothes out.

"You will suffer for dirtying my armor meat-sack," Legions added sporting some scorch mark.

"Kuso, I still have trouble using fire jutsu. I think I put more chakra then needed," Naruto said catching his breath, he then got into his battle stance follow by charge straight toward Legion as his scythe cross blade with Legion's gun-blade. "Futon: Kaze-ju no Hoko (Wind Release: Wind Beast Roar)," Naruto said as he unleashed the deafening wind attack at Frankenstein blasting him backward. Legion then raised his gun-blade to slashed Naruto to only be block by Zabuza's sword.

"Raiton: Raikiri (Lighting Release: Lighting Blade)," Kakashi said running toward Legion as he try to pierce him with his electrical charge hand.

"Chakurashirudo (Chakra Shield)," Legion said blocking the attack to the point that only a light scratch appeared on his armor. "Chakurasji (Chakra Surge)," he said as he released a burst of energy blasting back Kakashi, Zabuza and Naruto. The three then engage close combat against Legion with their weapons.

"Katon: Gokakyu no Jutsu (Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique)," Obito said sending a large fireball at Frankenstein as he choose to engaged in a battle with him.

"Suiton: Suidan no Jutsu (Water Release: Water Bullet Technique)," Frankenstein said sending a blast of water to counter the fire attack. Obitio then burst through the haze that form when the attack collide striking Frankenstein with his scythe as Asuma join the battle with his wind-chakra infuse chakra blade. The sound of metal hitting metal was heard as the battle rage on while the sky began to darken unknown to those that were fighting.

"It is just me or did it just get darker?" Frankenstein asked finally noticing the change in the forecast.

"So it finally took effect, okay everyone fallback Suiton: Uzu Kangoku (Water Release: Vortex Prison)," Naruto said trapping both Legion and Frankenstein inside a watery cyclone once everyone retreated.

"Took effect? Were you waiting for something?" Kakashi asked.

"You didn't think that I set the sky ablaze because I think it was totally awesome did you?" Naruto asked.

"You didn't?" he asked rising an eyebrow.

"No I did but I also wanted to heat up the atmosphere. Now Ero-Kakashi-sensei since you are a genius considered this warm air rapidly rising to area of cooler air in a moist environment is a perfect condition for what?" Naruto asked.

"No way," Kakashi exclaimed as he look up at the sky.

"What?" Zabuza asked.

"My borderline insane student created that," Kakashi replied pointing toward the sky.

"Clouds so?" Zabuza asked.

"Not just any kind of clouds but thunderclouds," Kakashi replied.

"Why thunderclouds," Asuma asked only for Naruto to replied with smirk on his face.

"Raiton: Raijin Kaminaridaiko (Lighting Release: Thunder God Lightning Drum)," Naruto said as a thousand deafening lightning bolts strike where the two enemy were as a blinding flash fill the area.

"Damn there goes my hearing!" Asuma yelled.

"What!" Kakashi yelled.

"What the hell, they're still alive," Zabuza said as the dust cleared to show that two enemy where still standing but tired and in a lot of pain.

"Kuso that hurt like hell, I think all of my Doton organs are destroyed," Frankenstein groaned.

"Most of my circuits are fried I'm barely operational," Legion stated.

"Then you don't mind if I cease your function permanently. Everyone stay behind me I don't want you to get in the crossfire, Kage Bunshin no Jutsu (Shadow Clone Technique)," Naruto said creating four clones. The clones pair off and began to create a ball of chakra in one of their hand while Naruto change Mugen Sora no Kitsune (Fox of the Endless Sky) from a scythe to a sword with a chakra blade and the fox skull became a guard as it rest at the hilt. The clones without the ball of chakra in their hand kick Legion up in the air before dispelling. "Rasengan (Sprialling Sphere)," the clones with the ball of chakra said slam it on Legion causing a dent on its armor before dispelling. Naruto on the hand was causing wind chakra spin around from his arm to the tip of Mugen Sora no Kitsune's (Fox of the Endless Sky) blade encasing it in a shell of whirling chakra. He then flew straight toward Legion with his blade pointed at his enemy as he began to fall. "Futon: Sonikku Ha (Wind Release: Sonic Blade)," Naruto said as he went supersonic breaking the sound barrier causing the whirling chakra that surround the blade to grow and cover his entire body in whirlwind with threads of wind-blade spinning behind him.

"Hyoton: Hyoga Kabe (Ice Release: Glacier Wall)," Frankenstein said creating a wall of ice to block the threads of blade that were whipping at him only for it to cut through the wall leaving him bloody and cut up. As for Legion the attack drill through him piercing, cutting and grinding him up as it obliterated most of his upper body as Naruto flew through and pass Legions.

_At the Pirate Ship_

"Don't worry drunken old dude I will protect you with my mighty hammer of awesomeness while Naru-Naru kick some bad guys ass," Ju said swing his metal hammer around.

"Something tells me that this kid is as insane as the blonde one and why are we on a pirate ship?" Tazuna asked.

"Considering how fast they bonded there some truth to that," Tree stated.

"And we are on a pirate ship because it is a pirate ship why wouldn't we be on it," Cloud exclaimed.

"**Also we just saw the blond-baka just lit the sky on fire do you want to be in the middle of that or get caught in the crossfire of it?"** Kurama asked.

"No," Tazuna replied looking at Kurama because he's still not use to a talking fox, a talking pork bun, two talking dolls and a really strange kid.

"**So who give the baka-brat a kami forsaken hammer?"** Kurama asked.

"I did," Mokona replied.

"**So you give a hyperactive eight year old a war hammer to cause untold destruction upon the world, what were you thinking pork bun?"** Kurama asked.

"I didn't give a hyperactive eight year old a war hammer to cause untold destruction on the world, I give a hyperactive eight year old a war hammer that is infuse with the power of lightning, storm and weather to cause untold mass destruction upon the world and I give it to him because he look so adorable with it," Mokona replied.

"**Infuse with the power of lightning, storm and weather?"** Kurama asked.

"It is a replica of a weapon called Mjolnir, a weapon that is wielded by Thor a Norse mythical god of thunder, lightning, storms and a bunch of other things. It may be a replica but its power still equal to the original," Mokona replied.

"Zap! Take that you Covenant scum, Zap!" Ju said releasing a small amount of electricity from his hammer.

"**They call me a force of nature but I met two beings that can cause more destruction than me,"** Kurama huffed. **"Hmm it looks like Gato is about to make his appearance,"** he said look out at the distance.

"Really?" Tazuna asked.

"**Do you know anyone else the stink of greed, corruption and overcompensation?"** Kurama asked.

"No," he replied.

"**Thought so, hmm this presence it can't be, what the hell is he doing here,"** Kurama growled as he look across the bridge. **"You four stay here and protect the bridge builder, I have to warn Naruto about this,"** he said as he vanished in a whirl of red chakra.

"What was that about?" Tazuna asked.

_Naruto and the Other_

"Well that take care of the robotic battalion," Naruto breathed out heavily as he appeared next to the others.

"You okay?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah just feeling a bit drain especially from that last jutsu, it took a lot out of me. But this should help however since I took one already this should be the last one for me today," Naruto replied as he took out a soldier pill and ate it.

"You really are a troublesome guy knowing a powerful justu like that," Shikamaru said walking up to them.

"Hn looks like one of your crazy original jutsu," Sasuke commented.

"And from the destruction it cause I said is a S-rank jutsu," Kakashi mused.

"Yeah and the process of creating it is the reverse of creating the Futon: Rasenshuriken (Wind Release: Spiraling Shuriken)," Naruto said.

"What do you mean?" Sakura asked.

"For the Futon: Rasenshuriken (Wind Release: Spiraling Shuriken) you learn shape transformation than add nature transformation. The Futon: Sonikku Ha (Wind Release: Sonic Blade) it nature transformation than use shape transformation to give the wind-natured chakra its form," he replied.

"Now all that is left for us to deal with is Frankenstein," Asuma said.

"You all are the first to cause this much damage to me but I'm not done yet," A bloody Frankenstein said.

**Baka-kit he's here,"** Kurama said appearing next to him.

"He, who do you mean?" Naruto asked.

"How disappointing it seems like none of you can do your job right," Gato said appearing with an army of mercenaries. "But it does make thing easier now that you all are tired, I can get rid of you all at once and since I don't have to pay Zabuza or those two freaks I can do it at a cheap price."

"Kurama were you talking about the ugly mustache midget over there?" Naruto asked.

"You dare insult me," Gato growled.

"**No but once we get rid of him the world will be a better place,"** Kurama commented.

"Yeah no one will miss that small insignificant midget," Naruto said ignoring the angry Gato.

"Don't you dare ignore me," Gato huffed.

"Did you hear that Kurama, it sound like a little itty bitty mouse squeaking," Naruto said with his hand over his ear taunting Gato.

"**Yeah it sound like a little, itty bity overcompensating mouse trying to make himself bigger than he is,"** Kurama joining in the taunting while the other sweat-drop.

"You shall die painfully," Gato growled.

"And what can you do little mouse," A man, who was dress up in a Victorian suit that had a gauntlet of brass, iron, leather and decorated with gear with a signal clock on the center of it for his right arm said as he suddenly appeared on top of a high tech aircraft that seem to have a robotic head on it.

"Looks like the annoying meat-bags took down all of my soldiers that were sent here," the aircraft said, "including one of my elite Kinsho (Gold General) units."

"Hisha (Rook) we can still beat them. With you and the Traveler here we can take them down easily now," a single damage surviving Fuhyo (Pawn) unit said as it crawled to them. It was missing an arm and the bottom part of it body while its armor cover in cuts and burns.

"How did it survived all of that, I thought that what you guys did destroy it," Ino said.

"Troublesome they are like cockroach, really a pain in the butt to get rid of," Shikamaru said.

"Defective product should not be seen nor heard," the mechanical monotone voice of Legion's Hisha (Rook) unit stated emotionless. Than the Hisha (Rook) unit pointed all of it mounted firearm at the broken Fuhyo (Pawn) unit and unleashed a volley of chakra blast at it vaporizing the broken cybernetic soldier.

"That was very cruel of you, Legion," Frankenstein told the aircraft.

"You are a mess Frankenstein, look like biology didn't help you out much," Legion stated.

"And your technology didn't stop the annihilation of your toy soldiers. Also the blond Death Lord is proving to be more of a challenge than we thought before," Frankenstein stated.

"She doesn't seem like much," the Victorian suited man commented.

"I said Lord not Lady so that mean it's a guy and not her," Frankenstein deadpanned. "Though I do wonder where he went, he was here a minute ago," he said looking around for Naruto. Suddenly Naruto appeared next to the Victorian suited man with Mugen Sora no Kitsune (Fox of the Endless Sky) in scythe form poise to slice the man in half.

"Sutoppu (Stop)," the Victorian suited man said freezing Naruto in time. "Ah you mean this Death Lord, hello little reaper it's nice to meet you again, Riwaindo (Rewind)," he greeted as Naruto flew backward in the air and in time back to the other.

"Traveler," Naruto spat. "You're going down you temporal anomaly Kurama no Mon: Reberu 6 Ririsu (Gate of Kurama: Level 6 Release)," he said letting lose a tremendous amount power, giving Kurama six tails while the other shield themselves from the backlash. Then Nartuo was shrouded in yellow chakra, "ready Kurama?" he asked his fox ally.

"**Right behind you baka-kit,"** Kurama said as both of them charge at the Victorian suited man known as Traveler.

"Surou (Slow)," Traveler said as the world's movements became sluggish.

"Jikan Shiru (Time Seal) Kai," Naruto said activating a seal on him that negating the effect of Traveler's ability on him.

"Since you came up with a way to counter my ability, I guess you learn from our last encounter and with the connection that you have with the fox the seal work for the both of you at the same time. However it seems to be limited to those who have the seal," he said as he saw that only Naruto and Kurama were the only one whose movement wasn't hindered.

"Your fight is with me," Naruto stated as he charge at him with his scythe raise.

"It is time for you to learn painfully that we are all a slave to time and your little bag of trick won't save you, Heisuto (Haste)," Traveler said as he began to move at incredible speed toward Naruto and slam him in the gut at such speed and force that it knock him backward. He then moved behind him at the same incredible speed to deliver him a painful strike again.

"**You didn't forget about me did you,"** Kurama said biting and holding him down with his tails. Naruto slam him with his yellow chakra fist follow by a slash from his scythe. Naruto then seal away his scythe to use his chakra arms to make a Rasengan (Sprialling Sphere) in both hand. "Tsuin Rasengan (Twin Sprialling Sphere)," he said slamming both of it into his enemy before his chakra shroud dispel.

"Look like you reach your limit for that power," Traveler said teleporting in front of Naruto holding him by his neck. "Anyway as I told you before it is time for you to learn the painful lesson of how we are all bounded to the cruelty known as time. The first lesson is that time robbed you of everything," he said pulling Naruto higher as space and time began to distort around them. Then a hammer flew at him smacking Traveler painfully in the face causing him to releasing Naruto.

"Leave Naru-Naru alone you big meanie," Ju said grabbing the hammer as it flew back to him.

"Shin is that you, what are you doing here?" Traveler asked facing Ju. "No you're too innocent to be the Goddess's evil and twisted pet," he said taking a good at him. "However I should deal with you now because something tell me you might cause us trouble later on also you are going to pay for what you just did to my face," he said traveling very fast at Ju.

'**Are you going to let that teme take another one of your 'precious person' away?'** a voice that sounded similar to Kurama said.

'No!' Naruto replied in his mind. "Danketsu Tamashi: Shi no Kage (Unity Soul: Shadow of Death)," he said as a grim reaper appeared behind him then its skeleton hand grab Traveler and stopping it from attacking Ju. 'Thank you for that Kurama,' he mentally thanks the fox.

'**What are you talking about that wasn't me though there something familiar about it, I wonder…?'** Kurama mused.

'Great another voice inside my head, I deal with that later right now I have a job to do,' he thought. "I'm your opponent teme and I'm not done with you yet. Now let see if you like a taste of your own medicine Fune o Noroi: Roka (Curse Vessel: Senescence)," Naruto said as Traveler's hair began to whited as it along with his nail and beard grew in length taking the appearance of a wrinkle old man as his body rapidly age. Then the grim reaper ripped one of Traveler's arms before throwing him across the bridge painfully.

"Unlike me you don't have the power over time however you are able to use your power to force my body to rapidly age, interesting little reaper. Jikan no Mon: Genshi-ju (Gate of Time: Primal Beast)," Traveler said summoning a Tyrannosaurs Rex to attack Naruto however the grim reaper that was call forth block the charging dinosaur by cross it arm in front of him protecting Naruto. Then the reaper gripped the prehistoric beast in his hand.

"Nise no Genjitsu: Senjin (False Reality: A Thousand Blade)," Naruto said causing thousands upon thousands of blade to appeared out of thin air to rain down on the beast kill and dispelling it.

"As fun as this is it," Traveler said as he us his ability to aged him back to his younger self, reform his arm and undoing the damages that he earn in battle, "even I the manipulator of time and space don't have time to waste on you all. Frankenstein, Legion we're leaving or boss lady will have our heads. Little reaper, blue-haired brat and acquaintances we will meet again. The next time we meet I will make sure that you all understand the true cruelty of life but for now bye," he said as the space around him, Frankenstein and Legion distort and then open a portal in front of them for them to disappear in.

"Damn it," Naruto said falling to the ground punching the floor.

"Boss should we go after them?" one of mercenaries asked.

"No, they are no longer our problem and once we deal with these ninjas they won't be either," Gato said.

"You all are still here? Leave and never come back while you all still have the chance because I swear I will make you all suffer especially when I'm in the mood that I am in," Naruto growled while facing the ground with his bang coving his eyes.

"You fool, are you threating me?" Gato laughed along with his hire bandits, "Are you forgetting that we outnumber you here."

'Yo outer me this guy is beginning to piss me off, let me out and together we shall show him true terror,' a dark voice within the corner of Naruto's mind said, 'beside we need to deal with our anger of letting that teme escape once again and who better to unleashed it on than a trash like him and his men. You know it's not healthy for you to keep on burying your negative emotion.'

'Alright Yami,' Naruto replied to his dark side, he then threw his face toward the sky and give an insane laugh. "It is really funny that trash like you all to think that numbers matter when they are facing the devil himself," Naruto said giving his opponents a smile the send chill down their spines.

"Not only do we have number but also power too, once my sailing vessel gets here you shall see what kind of power I wield with money," Gato said while at the same time trying to not piss his pant. "Where the hell is it, it should be here by now," he said taking out a hand radio.

"Bad news boss, your ship has been sunken taking with it some of the men and all of the weapons and drugs on it," a voice over the radio said.

"What how?" Gato yelled at the radio.

"We don't know all we saw was a beam of light hit the ship, explosion and the ship sinking," the person replied.

"Sweet I took down the pirate ship," Ju said pumping his fist while the others look flabbergasted.

"Damn it. Well it doesn't matter we can still take them down but leave the girls. You guys can have some fun with them before we put them on the market," Gato said leering at Sakura and Ino.

"Bad move threating my comrades and making a comment like that teme, I will make you beg for death," Naruto said with the bone chilling grin still on his face.

"**Midget really did it now, things are going to get bloody,"** Kurama said appearing next to the others with a large bowl of popcorn.

"What do you mean?" Kakashi asked.

"Troublesome, he means that Gato piss off Naruto enough to unleashed it. You all are about to see the Akuma o Ukabe (Smiling Devil)," Shikamaru said walking up to them with the other as he and Choji took some popcorn to eat.

"Akuma o Ukabe (Smiling Devil)?" Tazuna, Kakashi, Asuma, Zubuza, Haku, Sasuke, Sakura and Ino asked.

"You'll see," Shikamaru replied.

"Alright trashes let's play," Naruto said in a dark and malicious tone.

"Get them," Gato ordered.

"Come on guys he only a kid what the worst he can do?" one of the mercenary asked.

His replied was Naruto disappearing and appear in front of Gato with in a blink of an eye. The hired thugs that was standing in the path between where Naruto was standing at and where he currently at exploded in a shower of bloods, guts and body parts. "For today forecast we will experience a shower of bloody this afternoon follow by a hailstorm of body parts. Back to you Bob. Thank you Frank, we are he at a scene where the crime boss Gato 'the evil Mickey Mouse wannabe gangster' is about to be brutally murder," Naruto said with the creepy grin still on his face while the other sweat-drop at his comments.

"He finally lost it didn't he?" Kakashi asked.

"Sometime I wonder if he was ever sane to begin with," Sasuke stated.

"What are you fool stand there for get him," Gato who fell down on his butt command with fear in his voice. The goons took a step forward only to stop and back up a couple of step when Naruto unleashed a tremendous amount of killing intents.

"Good boys and girls have to be patient and wait their turn, however I brought some playmate to occupy your time until then," Naruto said as the grim reaper behind him rise his arm up in the air and created a ball of energy. Chakra dagger shot out of the ball hitting Gato's henchmen marking them each with a seal. "Danketsu Tamashi: Shonin no Kurushimi (Unity Soul: Suffering of the Witnesses), he said as the souls, spirits and essences of every persons that the mercenaries wrong risen from the ground to inflict both mental and physical pain they suffered at the hand of their accuser back at them tenfold.

"Now back to fun time with Naruto and Gato the limping teme," Naruto said happily.

"What?" Gato asked only for Naruto stomp on Gato's leg with his chakra enhance foot breaking it painfully as the crime boss scream in pain.

"Oh don't be such a baby that pain is nothing, if you want to experienced real pain you should try this," Naruto said gleefully as he took out and stab Gato in the shoulder with his scythe. "Fune o Noroi: Hi Tozoku no Batsu (Curse Vessel: Punishment of the Fire Thief)," he said after the mark appeared on Gato. Gato then began to convulse in endless amount of pain as the feeling of it shot though out his entire body. "What next, what next," he said excitedly "oh I know lets break your bone piece by piece," he replied as the grim reaper grap Gato's arm and began to crush it breaking every bone from the tip of his finger up to his shoulder. Once done he move to Gato other arm then to his legs.

"Wait, please stop," Gato begged. "Moneys, women and henchmen I have them all, if you spare me I can give you anything you want."

"Anything," Naruto inquired.

"Yes anything, I will give it all to you if you spare me and pledge loyalty to me. Together we will be unstoppable," Gato stated.

"Okay we have a deal if you can give me what I want," Naruto replied.

"WHAT! What are you thinking Naruto, you're not going to join that scum are you?" Ino exclaimed.

"Come down Ino," Shikamaru said.

"But he…," Ino began.

"Naruto is not going to betray us like that, he not that kind of person," Choji stated.

"What I want from you is to give back everything you took from the people of this country. All the lives you ended, the hope you stolen, the happiness and innocence that you robbed give it back and then I shall spare your worthless life," Naruto said in calm but deathly tone.

"What! I can't bring back the dead, that is impossible," Gato stated.

"Oh well it look like we don't have a deal, however the moneys, women and material thing you offer earn you something," Naruto said with the bone chilling grin back on his face. "A slow and painful death," he said with his grin growing bigger. He then swings his scythe wildly and at incredible speed causing Gato to scream out and bleed profoundly. Slashing downward he slice off Gato's right arm follow by slashing upward cut off the other arm then he cut off both legs by swing the scythe to the right. While Gato's torso was falling to the ground Naruto quickly swing his scythe to the left piecing the heart causing him to cough out blood. He didn't stop his movement when the blade piece the heart but continue onward dragging the body with it to throw it up the air. As the torso fall he took one final slash and beheaded Gato, ending his life. Before the head fall to the ground he gives one mighty kick to it sending it across the bridge. "GOAL!" Naruto exclaimed as the head stop rolling while the other sweat-dropped.

"He went pass overkill and landed on ridiculous," Kakashi deadpanned.

"Hey you kill our paycheck," one of the bruise and bleeding the mercenary stated as Naruto's jutsu began to dispel on them.

"We're going to make you pay for that and then raid the village for everything it has," another goon said.

"The one who are going to paying are all you trashes and it shall be for all the sins that you all committed. The currencies that I take it in will be in your bloods," Naruto said with an eye-smiled.

"Hey he stole my thing," Kakashi said with anime tears.

"Futon: Zencho-Fu (Wind Release: Ominous Wind)," Naruto said as the mercenaries that was closest to him collapse into a bloody mess of body parts. He then flew to the nearest goon and began to hack and slash them. When they tried to attacked him Naruto dance around them with ease. Within minutes Naruto cut most of their number with his elegant performance of death. "Futon: Shinku Togoku (Wind Release: Vacuum Imprisonment)," Naruto said causing the body parts that litter the ground and the remaining goons to be pull toward a certain space above him, trapping them there. "Katon: Sora o Moyashi (Fire Release: Burning Sky)," unleashing the power fire causing the pervious wind attack to draw in the flame creating a superhot bright blazing ball of fire in the sky burning everything within it.

"Okay first setting the sky ablaze then the insane lightshow and now a miniature sun, Kakashi your student is not normal by any standards and that not including that fact that he can command the army of the undead," Zabuza deadpanned.

"Yeah he really doesn't understand the meaning of the word restraint," Kakashi stated.

Once the fire die down the wind carry the ashes of their remains away. Naruto tilt his head toward the sky with a somber expression on his face. He then sighed prick his thumb to draw blood and wipe it across the seal on Mugen no Sora. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu (Summoning Technique)," he said bring forth Charon the ferryman of souls who was sitting on a boat that floated above the ground. Naruto then reach in his pocket for loose changes, grabbing a few he then threw them at Charon who caught them in his hand. "Send them straight to hell," Naruto said in a calm tone.

"As you wish, these evil and corrupt souls will go to where they belonged," Charon said slamming his oar down on the boat causing chains to erupt from it. The chains warp themselves around the decease Gato and his men trapping and making them visible to the living. Charon then pointed his oar forward causing a giant horrifying red door to appear. It opened to an abyss that emitted a presence of malice, fear, sorrow and suffering. With a wave of his oar the chains flung Gato and his men through the door before it close and disappeared.

"What the hell was that?" Sakura asked in fright of the door.

"Funny choice of words because that was Hell's Gate and I just send those trashes a one way ticket to the pit of Hell," Naruto said solemnly.

"Good that where those bastard should be at," Tazuna stated.

"Well my jobs is done here, summon me when you need my service again," Charon said before dispelling.

"Now since Gato, who betrayed you, is dead you have no more reason to kill Tazuna, right?" Naruto asked calmly.

"Um right," Zabuza stated.

"Good, now if you excuse me…blargh," Naruto replied running to the edge of the bridge to vomited. "Okay all better, on second thought… blargh," he said causing the other to sweat-drop.

"Are you okay Naruto?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah just not used to killing, both the smell and sight of it… blargh," Naruto replied.

'**Wimp,'** both Yami Naruto and Kurama said to him mentally.

'Shut you two,' Naruto told them.

"We're here to fight for our home," Inari said coming on to the scene followed by the villagers.

"A little late, little bubby… blargh, but if want proof of our victory I think Gato's head is over there somewhere… blargh," Naruto replied while the villagers cheered at gaining back their home and freedom. "Now if you don't mine I really tired so I going to sleep now," he said passing out on the bridge.

"After what we went I think we all deserve a rest," Kakashi said looking around and seeing everyone was buries and batter.

Omake:

~Academy Days Naruto 101 Ways of Getting Detention: Number 61 to 70 The Misadventure of Traveling through Time and Space with a Blue Police Box ~ (A/N: There was a Doctor Who marathon on when I wrote this also I don't own Doctor Who)

_Number 61 The Blue Police Box _

_Konoha Academy 59 AHV (Age of the Hidden Village): Naruto age 11_

"What am I'm going to do this week," Naruto pondered while in class.

"Hopefully school works and pay attention in class, please," Iruka said standing in front of him.

"Nope I want to do something more exciting," Naruto replied.

"How about world domination," Cloud stated.

"Nah we can try that for a different "Academy Days Naruto 101 Ways of Getting Detention" Omake sets," Naruto stated.

"Wow I think this is the first time me and Cloud appeared in the "Academy Days Naruto 101 Ways of Getting Detention" Omakes," Tree said. "And Naruto-sama you are breaking the fourth."

"Actually the both of you were in all of them but the reader didn't notice because you two were in the background," Naruto explained. "Ero-seishin on the other hand was off doing something perverted, meanwhile Hikari-chan was off chasing Ero-seishin so that she can beat him up for doing something perverted and Crow is pranking some smut reading pervert so those three were not in the Omakes. Anyway we still need to come up with something to do for this current Omake, I mean this week."

"Naruto don't you think you should…," Iruka began but was interrupted when a blue police box appeared inside the classroom.

"Hello, hello," another Naruto who wore a suit, tie and trench coat said in a fake British accent as he stick his head out of the police box.

"What with the British accent?" asked the Yondaime lookalike with whisker mark.

"Yondamie-sama!" Iruka exclaimed.

"No, actually I'm the Rokudamie. It's me, Naruto but from the future and to all those who said I never be the Hokage I have one thing to said 'ha in your face'. Not only that but I'm also a super uber shinobi with a beautiful, hot and sexy wife," Future Naruto said doing a victory dance.

"Behave, you have to set an example for the kids" an elegant and attractive blue hair brunet woman with lavender pearl eyes said smacking him in the back of his head.

"Okay honey," Future Naruto said.

"I wish I know who my future wife is," Young Naruto from the blue box sighed.

"Yeah she sounded awesome," the other Young Naruto added causing Future Hinate and both Young Hinate (one next to Future Hinate and one at her desk) to blushes while the other there face-palm.

"I can't believe I was that dense, damn you oto-san and your dense genes," Future Naruto said smacking his head on the wall continuously while future Cloud and Tree pat him on the back. "Sorry Min-kun, Ku-chan but because of your grandpa on my side you two will be very dense when it come to love," Future Naruto said to blonde boy that look like a toddler Naruto with blue Hyuga's eyes and a girl that look like a toddler Hinata with red hair.

"I'm a girl so it won't affect me," Ku-chan said.

"Oh right, I forgot about that," Future Naruto said.

"So that means only I have the dense genes, aw man," Min-kun pouted causing the girls there to go crazy from the cuteness.

"What are all of you doing here for?" Iruka asked.

"Oh to tell me there to use the seal that create a tear in space and time to build this," the Young Naruto from the blue police box said to the other Young Naruto pointing at the police box.

"What is it?" Iruka asked vigilant of what Naruto did or was going to do.

"This is the TARDIS, it is a time machine/spacecraft which is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside and with it I can travel through space and time," blue box Young Naruto said.

"And something that will earn you a lot of detention," another Iruka said poking his head from the blue box.

"So worth it," All the Naruto said.

"Why a blue police box?" the other Iruka asked.

"Doctor Who marathon," all the Naruto said.

"So get to work on that so that you can have an awesome adventure," blue box Young Naruto said before he and the other step inside the TARDIS and disappeared.

"I know what I going to do this week and it going to be awesome," Naruto said with a foxy grin and then he ran out of the classroom.

"I have a bad feeling about this," Iruka groaned.

*/Doctor Who theme song play here/*

_A Week Later_

"Are you sure," Sarutobi asked.

"Yes I believe that Naruto is building a time machine/spacecraft right now so we should do something to stop him," Iruka said.

"Too late, I already finished it" Naruto who wore a suit, tie and trench coat said step out of the blue police box that suddenly appeared inside the Hokage office. "Now let's go on an adventure through space and time. Hinata-chan had already volunteered to be my companion on this trip with Tree-kun and Cloud-kun tagging along now we just need to kidnap you Iruka-sensei."

"Naruto," the Hokage said in a stern tone. "Bring me back some sake from the places you visited through space and time," he added simply.

"Okay Jiji," Naruto replied.

"Yeah we get to go forward and reverse forward in time," Cloud cheered.

"Reverse forward would be backward Cloud-san," Tree said.

"I bet no other teachers have to deal with a time and space traveling student," Iruka muttered as Naruto dragged him inside the TARDIS before it disappear from the room through space and time.

_Number 62 Vacationing with Future Self_

_Hoakage's Office 73 AHV (Age of the Hidden Village): Naruto age 25 _

"Welcome to the future," Naruto exclaimed opening the door dramatically. "Where the hell are the flying cars and jetpacks," he asked with disappointment.

"We're still working on the jetpacks as for the flying cars the problem there is that we don't even have normal cars," an older version of Naruto said sitting in the desk in front of them.

"Hey the other me that visit me have an older version with him so I guess you're that older version of me that will be traveling through time and space with us," Past Naruto said.

"Hmm I guess so," Future Naruto stated.

"Liar, you are trying to get out of doing paperwork," Future Iruka stated coming into the room.

"No I'm not," Future Naruto replied quickly.

"Even years from now you are still causing me trouble Naruto," Past Iruka sighed.

"That the understatement of the century," Future Iruka stated.

"Is it a safe bet to just give him a month worth of detention for everything that going to happen on this trip?" Past Iruka asked his counterpart.

"Make it two month," Future Iruka replied.

"Okay I'm pack up so let's go," Future Naruto stated with suitcase in hand.

"Wait we want to come too papa," Min-kun and Ku-chan said bursting in the room along with future Cloud and Tree.

"Minato, Kushina don't enter your father office without knocking, I rise you two to be better than that," Future Hinata scolded her children as she walk in the room.

"It's alright honey anyways we're going on a family vacation with past me that is if it is okay with you?" Future Naruto asked.

"Huh what happen and way is past Hinata-chan pass out on the floor?" Past Naruto asked looking up from the handheld game he was playing from.

"Never mind that anyways is it okay if we join you guys?" Future Hinata asked.

"Yeah sure let go," Past Naruto replied as everyone began to board the TARDIS.

"Reverse backward in time," both future and past Cloud exclaimed.

"That would be forward in time," both Tree sighed.

_Number 63 The Master With a Duck-butt Hairstyle_

_Konoha 300 AHV (Age of the Hidden Village) During the Orange Revolution of the Third Neo Ninja Renaissance _

"Jetpacks!" Past Naruto exclaimed as someone on a jetpack zoom past them.

"Flying cars!" Future Naruto also exclaimed as the aerial vehicle flew by.

"Yahoo!" they both cheered.

"This is awesome," Past Naruto stated.

"A futuristic world like something out of a science fiction novel," Future Naruto added.

"Great can we go back to the past now?" Iruka asked.

"Oh come on Iruka-sensei this place is great and beside we can't go back until we find those high-tech instant ramen," Future Naruto stated.

"High-tech instant ramen?" Iruka asked.

"Yeah the instant ramen where you don't need to add hot water or wait three minutes after you added the boiling water, all you do is opened it and eat it," Past Naruto explained.

"Too bad you won't live long enough to find one, dobe," a man with dark hair in a duck-butt hairstyle said in a brooding tone.

"Hmm do we know anyone with a duck-butt hairstyle?" Future Naruto asked.

"Well there's emo boy from your class," Past Cloud said.

"But I thought that his hairstyle was that of a chicken-butt," Future Cloud stated.

"You dare insulted The Master with a duck-butt hairstyle no I mean chicken, damn it you got me confused. What I meant to said is that you dare insult me The Master but you're right I was Uchiha Sasuke however I go by The Master now and I'm not emo," he said.

"I don't remember Sasuke being diabolically evil," Past Naruto mused.

"Yeah he was a jerk, butt-face, antisocial, asexual, emoish, kick a puppy cruel teme but he never had the mindset of diabolically evil b-rank villain. Nor could he travel across space and time," Future Naruto stated.

"I'm not emo and also I'm not your Sasuke. I am a Sasuke from a parallel universe who was corrupted by the power of the Angst, become diabolically evil, stole a space and time machine to wreak havoc across both time and space and now across alternative dimensions and their nothing you can do to stop me Kukuku," he laughed evilly.

"Hey dad we don't need to worry about the baka duck-butt head guy because I push the anti-emo button," Minato said enthusiastically.

"I'm not…," Sasuke began but was interrupted when a portal open up and a bunch crazy obsessive fan-girls and a few fan-boys jumped out of it and latched themselves on him. The fan-girls and a minor fan-boys then dragged him through the portal before it close with the echo of scream of pain, fear and 'I'm not emo' could be heard.

"You built a fan-girls and fan-boy portal device for the TARDIS?" Past Tree asked.

"Well the truth is that I didn't know what I was doing half the time when I built the TARDIS. With that being said I don't really know what most of the buttons and switches do and just put a label on them thinking of what it might do," Past Naruto stated.

"We're really lucky that the TARDIS hasn't exploded and kill us all," Future Tree deadpanned with the other agreeing.

"That or the destruction of the whole universe," Future Naruto added not making them feel any better.

_Number 64 Ultimate Big Head Jutsu_

_Konoha Space Academy 1000 ANW (After Ninja World) Second Neo Galactic Ninja Renaissance _

"Hey we are in space," Future Naruto stated as he look out the window and saw that they were orbiting above an earthlike planet.

"We're space-ninjas," Past Naruto added.

"Greeting cadets, head toward the lecture hall for our guest speaker today at 900 hours. Have a good day," the voice said over the intercom.

"Oh…," Future Naruto began.

"…no…," Past Naruto join in.

"…this…," Future Naruto said.

"…is…," Past Naruto said.

"…a…," Future Naruto said.

"…space…," Past Naruto said.

"…school," Future Naruto finished off.

"NOOOOOOO!" Both Naruto screamed causing the other student there to look at them strangely.

"Calm down, you're scaring the kids," Future Hinata said smacking Future Naruto on the head.

"There's no need to be like that Naruto-kun," Past Hinata added patting Past Naruto on the shoulder.

"But I graduated from the academy so that I don't have to listen to another boring lecture," Future Naruto whined.

"And I built a machine that can travel through space and time so I don't have to deal with another boring lecture this week," Past Naruto added.

"Well it look like karma is finally paying you back for all the trouble you cause me, let go," Iruka said laughing evilly as he dragged both Naruto to the lecture hall.

"Oh my Kami a giant talking head," Past Naruto exclaimed.

"That could only mean one thing," Future Naruto stated.

"Someone stole Iruka's big head jutsu and supersize it," Past Naruto concluded.

"Yeah and created the ultimate big head jutsu," Future Naruto said while the other Naruto nodding his head in agreement.

"Stop it with the comedy duo you two," Iruka said smacking both Naruto in the head.

"Greeting Uzumaki Naruto, both of you, I am the Face of Boe. It is nice to meet the Child of the Prophecy, Savior of the Ninja World and Hero of the Hidden Leaf," the Face of Boe greeted.

"What?" Past Naruto asked.

"The adventures of my youth," Future Naruto said sagely.

"Wait, are you telling me that the fate of the ninja world is or was in the hand of this knucklehead and he will or did save it?" Iruka said pointing at blond duo.

"Yes," replied the Face of Boe and the travels from the future.

"If this doesn't prove that their something wrong with the ninja world, nothing will," Iruka sighed.

"Hey!" both Naruto exclaimed.

"All of you are welcome to stay and listen to my telling of the tale of Namikaze Miso the Savior of the Universe. He was also one of your descendants Uzumaki Naruto," the Face of Boe said.

"Yes I knew we are awesome," Past Naruto said offing a fist bump to his future self.

"And it seems that we pass it on to our legacies," Future Naruto replied returning the first bump.

"Yes we will be awesome," both little Minato and little Kushina said pumping their fist in the air.

"Forget the world is the whole universe that is mess up," Iruka sighed.

"Our tale began at the eve of the space-ninja and Dalek war…" the Face of Boe began.

_Number 65 Robotic Trashcan_

_Planet Hi no Wakusei (Fire Planet) Sigma7 100 BNW (Before Ninja World) During the Galactic Warring Ninja Era, Battle at Fort Orange Stage 1_

"Exterminate! Exterminate!" the mechanical voice uttered from the army of metal armor pepper shakers shape cyborgs known as the Dalek.

"General Namikaze the Daleks outnumbers us, ten to one," a female soldier said.

"So since there are about ten of us left that means there're about a hundreds of them, right soldier-girl?" General Namikaze asked.

"If you going to addressed me then do it properly by calling me Lieutenant Hawkeye, Namikaze Miso. Also yes there are about hundreds of them, congratulation you can do math," Hawkeye said sarcastically.

"Hurtful," Miso said in his corner of woe.

"Focus here Miso. We have a horde of Daleks on our ass, we have to do something or we're doom," Hawkeye said.

"That what she said," Miso countered.

"I'm serious here," Hawkeye growled with an eye twitch.

"Okay, okay I guess it time to busted out the button," Miso said.

"And how would a button help us," Hawkeye deadpanned.

"It not just a button but an awesome button that will detonate the EMP bombs that is now center at the heart of the Daleks's army," Miso explained.

"Wait, what?" Hawkeye asked.

"Hey Daleks I know that I'm stunning but you will get a shock out of this," Miso said doing a dramatic pose with the hand that holding the detonator pull in front of him. He then push the button and unleashed an EMP bursts frying the Daleks.

"That was so lame," Hawkeye stated.

"Come on that was epic coolness…whoa," Miso said as he dodged a laser blasted. "Look like five of them survived. No matter we'll take them down," he said only for a blue police box to suddenly appear.

"Honey can you take out the trash," an adult female voice said.

"Past me, take out the trash," an adult male voice said.

"Fine," a boy voice said. Then a blonde hair boy step out of the police holding a trash bag.

"It's the Doctor, er I mean the Hero of the Hidden Leaf, we must Exterminated him," one of the reminding Dalek said.

"Cool a robotic trashcan, the future is awesome," Past Naruto said.

"We're not robotic trashcan, human. You shall pay for such insult. Exterminate! Exterminate!" the Dalek said only for Past Naruto push the button on the bottom to open to top part where he drop the trash in. "Oh my Kami the smell, I can't breathe. I'm being Exterminate! Exterminate!" it said only to be silence a few minute later and shut down.

"Cool sci-fi robotic trashcan," little Minato said poking at four remaining Dalek. "I call dips."

"Exterminate! Exterminate..." the Dalek said only to be silence.

"What did you do?" Hawkeye asked Minato.

"Push the off button on them," Minato shrugged.

"They have an off button!" Hawkeye exclaimed.

"And apparently a button on the bottom of it that open the top part," Miso stated. "Ah button, you never cease to amaze me what can you not do," he sighed.

"I'm going to ignore your fascination with button now," Hawkeye deadpanned.

"Ew there something icky inside of them," little Kushina said looking inside.

"No worry," Minato said as he put on some rubble gloves and pull out the organic parts of the four remaining Daleks.

"Exterminate! Exterminate!" they gasped.

"Katon: Rei Ryu Moka (Fire Release: Spirit Dragon Inferno)," Minato said burning them to a crisped. Then he drag the four Daleks's armor shells inside the TARDIS.

"A kid just killed a Dalek with trash and another took four down by himself," said a shock Hawkeye while the soldiers look on with wide eye.

"Ancestor," Miso said looking at past Naruto.

"Descendant," Past Naruto said looking at Miso. "So want to join us for dinner," he asked.

"What will we be eating?" Miso asked.

"Ramen," Past Naruto replied.

"Alright best ancestor ever," Miso said as he and his soldier enter the TARDIS for dinner.

"I knew it, I always thought that you came from a long line of crazy people and here is the proof," Hawkeye said.

"Hurtful," Miso, Minato, Past and Future Naruto said in their corner of woe.

"It only affected the male side of the family," Kushina stated.

"And it something you get use to when you get marry," Future Hinata stated.

"What I'm not in love with this baka," a red face Hawkeye said pointing at Miso.

"Sure you not," Kushina, Past and Future Hinata said giving her a look that said yeah right.

"What did I miss," Miso said coming out of his corner of woe and resting his head on Hawkeye shoulder.

"Nothing you baka," a embarrassed Hawkeye said hit him in the stomach causing him to hit the wall.

"Ouch what was that for," a whirling eye Miso said.

"Ah the dense genes, it still survived to this day," Future Naruto said.

_Number 66 Sonic Screwdriver is a Wi-Fi-enabled Device_

_Planet Hi no Wakusei (Fire Planet) Sigma7 100 BNW (Before Ninja World) During the Galactic Warring Ninja Era, Battle at Fort Orange Stage 2_

"Ah that was some great ramen," Miso said patting his stomach as he step outside of the TARDIS.

"Is eating an insane amount of ramen apart of your bloodline?" Hawkeye asked.

"Maybe, I never thought of it before," Future Naruto said.

"Delete! Delete!" a group of sliver robotic humanoid chanted as they march up to the group.

"Obliterate! Obliterate!" a different kind of cybernetic army chanted as they also march up to the group.

"Legion 2.0," the sliver robotic humanoid growled.

"Legion, I thought that I defeated them all?" Future Naruto stated.

"Yes but another bastard with a metal fetish took up the mantle and became Legion 2.0," Miso replied.

"Cybermen," Legion 2.0 replied.

"This is our sector," the Cybermen stated.

"Syntax error, we don't see your binary input on it," Legion 2.0 replied.

"It doesn't matter this sector belong to us where we will be performing our upgraded," the Cybermen stated.

"Too bad, we will be performing our conversion here," Legion 2.0 stated.

"Upgrade," Cybermen stated.

"Conversion," Legion 2.0 stated.

"Kickass, a robot rumble!" Future Naruto cheered.

"Actually it a cybernetic rumble," Miso stated.

"Tin-man," the Cybermen began with the trash talked.

"Bucket head," Legion 2.0 responded to what they consider as trash talked.

"Hey guys there free Wi-Fi here and I just download a bunch of apps on the Sonic Screwdriver. I'm playing Classic Angry Birds right now," Past Naruto said poking his head out of the TARDIS.

"Oh no it is the Sonic Screwdriver of Destruction," Legion 2.0 stated in a scared tone.

"What kind of cyborg is scared of a Screwdriver," Cybermen scoffed.

"It not the screwdriver that scared us but what it could contain that frighten us. That device marked the downfall of our previous predecessor. It spread the horrifying, deathly and neuro-destructive green nightmare computer v…" a Legion 2.0 explained before spark emitted from its head and then it shutting down followed by the rest of them.

"What…," the Cybermen stated before their heads spark too and they shut down like the Legion 2.0.

"Damn computer viruses that causing the screen to show Bushy-Brows-Senpai and Bushier-Brows-Sensei doing their man hug with the sunset," Past Naruto sighed. "There the antivirus program should fix it," he said fiddling with the Sonic Screwdriver. "Hmm hey Min-kun there are life size robotic action figure out here, help me move them inside the TARDIS," he yelled.

"Cool," Minato said jumping out of the TARDIS.

"Like I said you came from a long line of crazy people," Hawkeye deadpanned.

"I know," Miso sighed.

_Number 67 Weeping Angels vs Smut_

_On the Outskirt of Hi no Kuni (Fire Country) 10 BUEE (Before United Elemental Empire)_

"Menma-dono, we are surrounded," the female warrior said as she and her allies back away from the stone angel statues.

"And I'm guessing these angels aren't heaven send are they Kanade?" Menma asked.

"Nope," Kunade replied.

"Well the only we can do now is pray to Kami," Menma said as he put his hands together and began to pray.

"I don't think praying would…" Kunade began only for a blue police box to show up.

"Kami has answered ours prays," Menma exclaimed.

"Where's the ramen?" Past Naruto asked stepping out of the TARDIS.

"Definitely someone sends by Kami for he knows the food of the gods," Menma stated.

"Descendant?" Naruto asked.

"Ancestor?" Menma asked.

"Uzumaki Naruto and you are?" Naruto asked.

"Namikaze Menma," Menma replied.

"So what's with the garden arts?" Naruto asked.

"They are the Weeping Angel and they only attack if you look away. Also if they touch you, you will end up being displace through time," Menma replied.

"Hmm that give me an idea," Naruto said as he went back inside the TARDIS.

"Hey past me what are you doing with that?" Future Naruto asked from inside the blue police box.

"That's not yours is it? Because if you want to have that kind of fun you could always ask me," Future Hinata stated while Past Hinata was out cold.

"Maybe later when the kids are gone, but seriously what are you doing with that past me?" Future Naruto asked.

"Helping my descendant," Past Naruto said.

"Again!" they all said.

"Yep," he replied stepping out the TARDIS with a big scroll that was taller than him in hand.

"What that?" Menma asked.

"The key to defeating them," Naruto said as he unrolled the scroll to show the Weeping Angel it contents.

"No! If we look away they will attack us," Kunade said. "Wait why are they not attack us?" she said as she went and look to see that all of the Weeping Angel were gone. "What in the scroll to make them disappear?" she asked.

"An enlarge pictures of the content from Icha Icha Paradise manga that Ero-Seishin give me. I figure that if they displace people with a touch then using it against them is not a bad idea. So once they saw these pictures they lost because of their perverted nature," Naruto replied.

"Ah the power of smut, something to be fear and awe at," Menma stated causing other to sweat-drop.

"Anyways keep it you needed it when you face the Tyrant of the North who from the Face of Boe lectures said to of die from blood loss in the Battle of Icha Icha. The Face of Boe also stated that you will unify the nation of the world creating United Elemental Empire where you will rule as the first emperor of the ninja world in ten years from now. Later on you will marry a cybernetic girl by the name of Kunade making her your empress and end up having a lot of heirs," Naruto said.

"Past me, no spoiler for them," Future Naruto said smacking his past self in the head with a fan.

"Lot of heirs," Menma grinned while Kunade blush heavily.

"Now before you continue on your trial, let have some ramen!" Past Naruto exclaimed.

"Truly those that came before us were very wise," Menma said sagely.

"This is who I marry?" Kunade deadpanned.

"It could be worst," Future Hinata stated placing a hand on her shoulder.

_Number 68 Prehistoric Petting Zoo_

_Konaha 66 million BHV (Before Hidden Village)_

"Welcome to Jurassic Park," Furture Naruto said opening the door of the TARDIS. "Okay this is not a theme park full of genetic engineered prehistoric animals but there're dinosaurs."

"Cool noodles!" Minato exclaimed. "I'm going to find a T-Rex and make it my new pet."

"Triceratops are cooler, the have horns," Kushina stated.

"Nah ah, T-Rex are cooler," Minato stated.

"Triceratops," Kushina stated.

"Kids no pointless back and forth argument," Future Hinata scolded.

"Yes mom," they said which cause Past Hinata to pass out again thinking on how little Minato and little Kushina were or will be conceived and Past Naruto to miss or ignore the clue about his future spouse.

"Okay maybe those bans on those super spicy diablo ramen were not totally unfound," Past Naruto groaned.

"Yeah, I'm feeling them now," Future Naruto stated holding his stomach.

"Bad ramen," Minato added holding his stomach too.

"I told you three it not a good idea to eat ban food," Iruka stated.

"But it was the limited super spicy diablo ramen," Past Naruto stated.

"It was limited because they recalled and banned it a day after they stock it," Iruka stated. "Why did they ban it anyway?"

"Study show that a bowl of super spicy diablo ramen caused a bad case of stomach ache, flatulence…" Future Naruto said as the three blonds pass gas, "…and the flatulence produce is a deadly neurotoxic that is only dangerous to most prehistoric animal life," he finished off as the dinosaurs all around them began to die.

"Did you three just brought forth..." Iruka said in confusion.

"The great extinct of the dinosaurs," Past Clouds finish off.

"Look likes it," Past Tree replied.

"It is not that bad," Past Naruto stated.

"Not that bad, you three cause countless species of animal to die out," Future Tree deadpanned.

"And their rotting corpse will produce greenhouse gas that will usher in the ice age," Future Cloud said while looping in the aired with Past Cloud, "that or those dangerous active exploding volcano will do the job."

"Well what we did allowed the human race a chance to thrive in a few million years," Past Naruto pointed out.

"You got a point there but no more mass extinction from you three," Iruka said.

"We make no promises," the three said together.

_Number 69 In the Beginning _

_A Few Minutes before the Big Bang_

"Look around lady and gentlemen," Future Naruto said.

"Look at what? There's nothing here," Iruka said.

"Well except that speck of something over there," Past Naruto said pointing at something.

"That is a singularity that going to explode in a few minute and going to create the universe as we know it," Future Naruto said.

"And how do you know this and other random information of about the place we visit?" Iruka asked.

"Simple, because I already done this consider the fact that my past self is with us," Future Naruto said point as past self. "Now let watch and see the beginning of everything," he said as the other stared intently at the speck.

'Well this is boring,' Past Naruto thought.

'**I know,'** a random voice said in his head.

'Kurama is that you?' Past Naruto asked the voice in his head.

'**Nope,'** Kurama and the voice replied.

'**It's me Kami,'** the voice replied.

'Oh, what's up?' Past Naruto asked.

'**Nothing much considering that existence has yet to occurred. Since you are here can you do me a favor?'** Kami asked.

'Sure,' Past Naruto replied.

'**Throw a kunai with an exploding tag on it at the speck,'** Kami said.

'Okay,' Past Naruto said and did what Kami asked of him. Then the singularity exploded in a great ball of creation giving birth to the universe. While everyone but the people from the future jaws dropped.

"Did you just create our universe?" Iruka asked.

"Um, yes," Past Naruto replied.

"I knew there was something fundamentally wrong with the universe and now I know why," Iruka sighed.

"Hey I only did what Kami told me to do when he spoke to me in my head," Past Naruto defended.

"The myth of how the Great Orange Spirit Ninja craving the world with a kunai make sense now," Past Tree mused.

"And this kunai is now consider a holy relic," Past Cloud said holding the kunai that Naruto use to cause the big bang which was glowing now.

"**I will take that for safekeeping,"** the disembody voice of Kami said as the glowing kunai disappeared.

"Are you telling me that he became a mythical icon," Iruka deadpanned.

"That and also a saint, a divine being and a folk hero, though there's a myth of how the Great Orange Spirit Ninja aid the Gautama Budddha in his path of enlightenment but I don't remember Naruto-sama ever meeting him," Future Tree stated.

"Well I did meet a Prince Gautama when we took that rest stop in the past. I told him about the wonder of ramen. Afterward he told me that he understood what I was trying to say about life and will work toward achieving enlightenment or something like that," Past Naruto said.

"Okay someone need to keep an eye on him so he doesn't end up redefining history, shaping the culture of the human race or end up changing our understanding of the universe," Iruka stated.

"Too late for the since he's going to save the Ninja world," Future Naruto stated.

"I'm going to do what?" Past Naruto asked from his cup of ramen.

"Nothing to worry about right now, no need for spoilers," Future Naruto stated.

"I going to drink until I forget about this," Iruka sighed as he open a bottle of sake.

_Number 70 Having Ramen in the Space between Universes_

_Unknown Year at a Restaurant in an Unknown Location _(A/N: may contain Naruto that are for future stories that I may write)

"This is a quaint diner," Past Naruto, who was wearing a red cylinder shape hat and a bowtie, said from his seat.

"Where did he get that hat and bowtie from?" Iruka asked.

"My guess he got the bowtie from the closet inside the TARDIS, as for the Fez I think I saw him bought it from the vendor at the bazaar in New Suna on Kaze no Wakusei (Wind Planet)," Future Naruto replied.

"Don't I look cool, considering that both Fez and bowtie are cool," Past Naruto stated.

"So do you have any ideas where we are?" Iruka asked ignoring Past Naruto.

"The Restaurant between Universes," Future Naruto replied.

"Let me guess you know this because the past you experience this already," Iruka stated.

"Yes, also the sign is a dead giveaway," he said pointing to the big sign that said 'The Restaurant between Universes _the best food in the multiverse_' above the counter.

"Well since we're here let get something to eat," Future Hinata said while her past-self nodded in agreement.

"Ramen!" Minato, Kushina, Past and Future Naruto exclaimed.

"Wow you guys have some strange traits in your gene pools," Future Tree stated with his past-self and both Clouds nodded in agreement. 

"But what kind of ramen should I get," Past Naruto pondered.

"If you are taking recommendation I suggest the Ramen Pizza, I had it last time I was here or a least the alternative self of me who give me his memory did," another Naruto, who have pale purple eyes with three rings circle around a dot at the center with each ring containing three tomoe, said appearing in front of them and taking a seat next to them.

"Oh my Kami, I regenerated into a badass!" Past Naruto shouted.

"Um no actually I'm you from an alternative universe and to avoid confusion you can called me Jubi-Naruto since I have the Neo-Jubi seal with in me," Jubi-Naruto stated.

"You have the Neo-Jubi seal in you!?" Past Naruto asked. "What's a Neo-Jubi and for that matter what is a Jubi?"

"The Jubi is the Ten-Tail Beast, a primordial being, which all of the nine of the Tailed-Beast originated from. Some evil madman tried to revive it in an alternative universe by combining all the Tailed-Beasts in some demon statue thingy so my alternative-self of that universe enter the demon statue thingy and try to free Kurama and the others. However he accidentally ended up creating a new Jubi and sealing it along with the other nine Tailed-Beasts in him and making him the Jinchuriki of the new Jubi and all of the Tailed-Beast. With the new power he kick the evil madman ass and save the world," Jubi-Naruto said. "However the cost was great, he lost most of his friend and precious people of that world when they try to free him from the statute and the war devastated the land. He became depress over what happen and wander the world until he met his end. When he die he woke up in plane of existence between life and death where he met Caster and he gives him a second chance by sending his and his few reminding friends' memories along with all ten Tailed-Beasts to our respective self in my world where I died during Kurama's attack on the village. Because of that they had revive me using some power of the Tailed-Beast and then seal all ten beasts along with the memories of my alternative self in me. However since I die a few minute after my birth and I was resurrected to the age that I should have been if I live, I was heavily influence by the memories of the alternative self so act as if I were the alternative Naruto of that universe."

"Traveling back to an alternative past huh? Never said I done that before even if it only memories and I'm a time travel however I do experience the lives of my eight other personas that are each created from the memories of alternative versions of me," a different Naruto who wore an orange haori with blue flames at the bottom and sleeves with an image of a clock over hourglass on it said in a monotone voice with eight chibi Narutos floating around him. "Oh you can call me Master of Time Naruto or M.O.T-Naruto for short. And this is Riku," he said pointing to the chibi Naruto with the Rinnegan, "Ken," pointing to the blindfolded chibi Naruto that wielding nine blades, "Fuin," pointing to the one that dress as a Shinto priest with a mechanical arm with symbols written around it, "Moku," the one in a white hooded robe with a wood claw arm for his left arm, "Kyu," a feral looking one with fox ears and a bushy tail, "Qi," the one with blue glowing hand, "Gen," the one dress as a magician with a top hat, "Tai," the one in an orange karate gi, "and they are my personas or a piece of personality."

"And speaking of Caster I guess he invited you all here for lunch," another Naruto who was dressed in an orange mage robe with a blade-staff weapon on his back said while still reading his magical tome. "And you can call me Maho-Naruto by the way since I can use magic."

"Actually me and my friends came here in a blue police box by accident," Future Naruto said. "Also you can call me Future Shinigami-Naruto or F.S.-Naruto and him Past Shingami Naruto or P.S.-Naruto since we are of the same timeline and work for the Shinigami."

"Who's Caster?" P.S.-Naruto asked.

"That would be me. Hi, I'm Caster an awesome dimension hopper" a sliver hair man who wore a black and white leather hooded trench coat and had the color brown for his left eye and sky blue for his right eye said coming up to the group. "Also you can join us even if you weren't invited, the more the merrier."

"Thank Caster," F.S.-Naruto replied.

"You know him?" P.S.-Naruto asked.

"Yes, you will be seeing a lot of him in the future," F.S.-Naruto replied. "So is their reason behind this lunch meeting?"

"Yes and it is an important one," Caster said seriously as he rest his chin on his hands. "I was bored and lonely so I call all of you to hang out," he replied causing everyone to sweat-dropped. "Now once Phantom Assassin Naruto gets here we can mingle."

"I'm already here," a Naruto with his left eye cover by his hitai-ate, an orange scarf covering the lower half of his face, who wield a blood red blade and was reading a manga said suddenly, appearing next to them causing every to jump a bit. "And call me Yurei-Naruto based on my other moniker Konoha no Yurei (Ghost of the Leaves)," Yurei-Naruto replied.

"Ah! There's an Ero-Kakashi-Sensei version of me and how long have you been there?" F.S.-Naruto asked.

"Who Ero-Kakashi-Sensei?" P.S.-Naruto asked.

"Someone who we will have the misfortunate of meeting in our so called life," F.S.-Naruto said dramatically while back in both F.S. & P.S.-Naruto world a sliver hair mask Jonin sneezed.

"Hey I way cooler and a little bit less perverted than Kakashi-Sensei. As for the answer to your question I been here before any of you came in, it just that none of you notice me like always," Yurei-Naruto replied before he went to his corner of woe.

"Well the ability to be not notice and draw attention away from yourself makes you the ultimate assassin of your world," Caster replied. "And speaking of your world I wonder if Suzuka Uchiha is the female version of Sasuke Uchiha?" he mused.

"Sasuke Uchiha, that is what Suzuka-chan's delusional fan-girls call her when they believe that she was a guy and some still do, though now that she is developing her feminine figures they are finding it hard keep up their insane fantasy all the while she now gain fan-boys," Yurei-Naruto stated. "However there's no male Uchiha by the name Sasuke in my universe."

"Thinking of a female version of Sasuke feels wrong and dirty," P.S.-Naruto said with a shivered. "Anyways Suzuka Uchiha does not exist in my universe as far as I know."

"I agree with my past self on how wrong and dirty it feels to think of a female version of Sasuke," F.S.-Naruto added.

"She is Sasuke's sister in my universe," Maho-Naruto replied.

"Same here however she didn't exist in the universe where I got my memories from," Jubi-Naruto stated.

"She is also Sasuke's sister in my universe but I pull here from an alternative universe by accident along with her best friend," M.O.T-Naruto replied emotionlessly, "as for the universe of my personas she exist in some of them and in those that she exist in she is Sasuke's sister if he exist in those universe too."

"So she Sasuke's sister huh," Caster mused. "Well I guess I still have to go and find an alternative universe where Fem-Sasuke existed so that I can traumatize all the heterosexual Narutos that has a regular male Sasuke in their universe with the image of him smooching with the female version of their friend/rival/whatever he is to that Naruto. It will be funnier if it causes that Sasukes to pursue your alternative selves," he chuckled.

"NO!" all of the Narutos exclaimed as the pale at the thought while past Hinate fainted and Future Hinate to blushed really red at yaoi induce image in her head.

"Are all the Naruto of the multiverse insane and abnormal as the one from my universe?" Iruka asked Caster.

"You have no idea," Caster deadpanned.

"Definitely some wrong with the universe or multiverse," Iruka sighed.

Orignal Jutsu List

Jutsu Name: Katon: Hi Hitoyasumi (Fire Release: Fire Breather)

Rank: B

Description: Unleash a stream of fire from the mouth to burn anything in its path.

Jutsu Name: Raiton: Inazuma (Lightning Release: Lightning Bolt)

Rank: B

Description: Send a single powerful bolt of lightning at the enemy.

Jutsu Name: Chakura Imochi (Chakra Blast)

Rank: C

Description: An attack used by the Tokin (Promoted Pawn) unit. Fire a destructive beam of chakra causing some area damage.

Jutsu Name: Katon: Hi no Tama (Fire Release: Ball of Flame)

Rank: C

Description: Spew out a bunch of will-o'-the-wisp to either burn the enemies or intercept attacks.

Jutsu Name: Katon: Rei Ryu Moka (Fire Release: Spirit Dragon Inferno)

Rank: A

Description: Spew out an extremely hot blue-white flame incinerating everything in its path to ashes.

Jutsu Name: Raiton: Dengeki Senjin (Lighting Release: Blitzkrieg Blade)

Rank: A

Description: A sword technique that utilized lightning-natured chakra and a high-speed slash.

Jutsu Name: Katon: Funka (Fire Release: Eruption)

Rank: A

Description: A sword technique that utilized fire-natured chakra and a strike to the ground with the blade to create an explosive fiery shockwave.

Jutsu Name: Katon: Nobi o Arekuruu (Fire Release: Raging Wildfire)

Rank: A

Description: A sword technique that utilized fire-natured chakra and a horizontal circular swing when the blade is red hot. The attack burns and cuts through the enemies.

Jutsu Name: Katon: Kaen Hosha-ki (Fire Release: Flamethrower)

Rank: B

Description: Unleash a continuous stream of fire that burn anything in its path

Jutsu Name: Doton: Ishi-hei (Earth Release: Stone Soldier)

Rank: B

Description: Create stone statue of a foot soldier to defend or attack.

Jutsu Name: Suiton: Ryu Maki (Water Release: Waterspout)

Rank: B

Description: Generate a water cyclone that does damage by pulling in enemies within the twister.

Jutsu Name: Raiton: Soto Rairyu-dan (Lightning Release: Two-headed Lightning Dragon Bullet)

Rank: A

Description: A lightning attack that created a twin headed thunder dragon to strike down the enemies.

Jutsu Name: Katon: Fushicho Fukkatsu (Fire Release: Phoenix Rebirth)

Rank: S

Description: First the attack encase the user in a protective pyre of fire and burn any enemies within a close proximity of it then a phoenix made of fire emerge from the flame to incinerate anything that cross its path.

Jutsu Name: Konohagakure Hiden Tijutsu Ogi: Sennen Goroshi: Roketto-ban (Leaf Village Secret Finger Jutsu: One Thousand Years of Death: Rocket Version)

Rank: D

Description: A gag attack. Shove a rocket kunai in the rear end of the enemy which will launch them farther and higher than the original attack.

Jutsu Name: Futon: Genzai Josho Kiryu (Wind Release: Rising Air Current)

Rank: D

Description: A wind attacked that that pulled opponents up with the user when they fly upwards. Damage occurs from the dragging force and when they fall down also makes it difficult for the enemy to attack when they are airborne. It is used in conjunction with Hiko Fujin no Jutsu (Wind Release: Flying Wind God Technique).

Jutsu Name: Katon: Sora o Moyashi (Fire Release: Burning Sky)

Rank: A

Description: A blazing fire attack that incinerates any airborne enemies and igniting the sky that will heat up the airs and cause a warm front.

Jutsu Name: Chakurashirudo (Chakra Shield)

Rank: B

Description: A chakra barrier that surround the user cast by the Kinsho (Gold General) unit's shield.

Jutsu Name: Chakurasji (Chakra Surge)

Rank: B

Description: Unleashing a burst of chakra from within the body outward pushing back everything around them.

Jutsu Name: Suiton: Uzu Kangoku (Water Release: Vortex Prison)

Rank: B

Description: Create a watery vortex that trapped the enemy from escaping and harm them if they touch the barrier of the vortex.

Jutsu Name: Raiton: Raijin Kaminaridaiko (Lighting Release: Thunder God Lightning Drum)

Rank: S

Description: A blinding and deafening lightning attack the cause a countless bolts of lightning to rain down destruction upon the enemies.

Jutsu Name: Futon: Sonikku Ha (Wind Release: Sonic Blade)

Rank: S

Description: A devastating wind attack that used wind-natured chakra and shaped it around the user. Traveling at supersonic speed it obliterated everything in the path the user traveled by piercing, cutting and grinding them up while threads of wind-blade that trail behind them slice through everything that it touch.

Jutsu Name: Hyoton: Hyoga Kabe (Ice Release: Glacier Wall)

Rank: A

Description: Form a wall of dense ice to protect the user.

Jutsu Name: Sutoppu (Stop)

Rank: B

Description: One of the Traveler techniques that distort time within an area causing all of his opponents to freeze in time.

Jutsu Name: Riwaindo (Rewind)

Rank: B

Description: One of the Traveler techniques that reverse the flow of time.

Jutsu Name: Surou (Slow)

Rank: C

Description: One of the Traveler techniques that distort time within an area causing all of his opponents to move very slowly.

Jutsu Name: Jikan Shiru (Time Seal)

Rank: C

Description: A time-space seal that temporarily warp time and space for the user interfering or removing them from the effect of other distortion of time-space technique while it is in effect.

Jutsu Name: Heisuto (Haste)

Rank: C

Description: One of the Traveler techniques that distort time that allowing him to move very fast in comparison to other.

Jutsu Name: Danketsu Tamashi: Shi no Kage (Unity Soul: Shadow of Death)

Rank: A

Description: A Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) Kekkei Genkai technique that call forth an avatar of death in form of a grim reaper like creature. It then defend, assist and fight alongside the user.

Jutsu Name: Fune o Noroi: Roka (Curse Vessel: Senescence)

Rank: D

Description: A Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) Kekkei Genkai technique that manipulate the body biology ageing process causing the opponent to age rapidly.

Jutsu Name: Jikan no Mon: Genshi-ju (Gate of Time: Primal Beast)

Rank: B

Description: One of the Traveler techniques that can call forth any beast from the past.

Jutsu Name: Danketsu Tamashi: Shonin no Kurushimi (Unity Soul: Suffering of the Witnesses)

Rank: B

Description: A Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) Kekkei Genkai techniques that used the echo of the essence of those who the opponent has hurt physical, mental and spiritual and turn it against them making them feel the pain of those they wrong by hundredfold in form of the spirits of the victims.

Jutsu Name: Fune o Noroi: Hi Tozoku no Batsu (Curse Vessel: Punishment of the Fire Thief)

Rank: A

Description: A Shinigami no Okurimono (Gift of the Death God) Kekkei Genkai techniques that cause the opponent to be consumed by the most excruciating pain imagine.

Jutsu Name: Futon: Shinku Togoku (Wind Release: Vacuum Imprisonment)

Rank: A

Description: Create sphere of vacuum that pull and trap in everything around it crushing and suffocating the enemies.

A/N: Sayonara no Jutsu


End file.
